know
by overgrownplants
Summary: She had left the concert without another word. He had frantically looked for her the second that damned billboard fucking exploded. And when he finally found her? He knew.
1. know

Well, to be honest, she didn't expect it to hurt that much.

Marco had came back immediately, shouting her name in the middle of the panicking crowd running around the broken billboard, dragging Jackie's hand with him across the entire Echo Creek. He didn't find her at home, either, so to say that he's having a break down is an understatement. No matter how many times Jackie tried to assure him that Star is probably okay - she is a magical princess after all - he didn't listen and just continued on his searching frenzy.

And Star?

She was seriously giving her life decisions a second look.

Sure, she had expected them to act like a couple since they are an item now, aren't they? Hugs and holding hands and stuff are a natural thing to do when you're dating, she knew, but _a kiss_? She— _she…_

…let's just say she hadn't expected it to stung that much.

"Star? STAR!" She could hear him screaming her name, panicky concern in his voice. It made her eyes well up despite the ridiculousness of this situation; she had brought this on herself, after all. She was fine with it, with _them_ , she kept telling herself that it was too late, it was _for nothing_ , she could bear with it, right? If only for his happiness. She could do it for him, even if her heart felt like it might rip apart.

She had had that scary moment when she couldn't control her magic (now that she looks back at it, the beam of magic was green and not its usual flirty pink color) and honestly, it _terrified_ her. She had lost almost everything; her spell book, Glossaryck, the history of her entire family... Even if her parents reassured her a million times that it's fine, it's no problem; they can fix it, she couldn't help but feel this guilt looming over her head, the lingering sense of depression and absolute worthlessness that had been chased away by lip-sync nights with Marco over _Just Friends_ and _Too Little Too Late_ is coming back, making her losing her mind.

And now, she _can't—  
_  
She can't lose Marco too.

It felt kind of pathetic, now that she thought about it. Sitting here, at the rock bottom of Echo Creek and feeling like the _scum of the earth_ , trying not to cry her eyes out. It's— _it's terrible_ , how much she missed his hugs, even if they are all platonic and sweet. His loving, protective touches, even if they are as light as feathers. His smile, the bright shining sun in her darkest days.

The way he would let himself loose whenever she's around—

The pure, unadulterated _joy_ in his eyes whenever he looks at Jackie.

It hurts more than she would ever admit.

What would've been different if she hadn't invited Jackie today? Nothing much, except for the fact that he would've been with _her_ instead, would've held _her_ hands and they would've had some fun together, no?

But the fact that he did do all of those things with her made her even more confused and her descend into madness even faster.

She—she didn't know how to feel.

Don't get it wrong, she loves Jackie; the girl was as cool as a well practiced narwhal blast. But seeing her there with him, doing all the things Star herself used to do with Marco made this _unexplainable feeling_ bubble at the bottom of her stomach. It's not _jealousy_ , that much she knew, but it's not something unrelated either.

Heh— _she had really lost it, hadn't she?_ And surprisingly enough, the ducks didn't help her much.

"It's just—" she gestured wildly with her hands, at a complete lost for words, "I'm happy for them— _I am, don't you dare question me_ —but _like_ , they could've done it somewhere more discreet, you know. Marco didn't have to hold my hand the _entire time_ he had made out with Jackie, either. _Like_ , I know I gave it up already; no need to rub it in my face," she sighed when the duck merely hissed at her (can ducks even hiss?)

Welp, so this is how it is. Sitting under a bridge, curled up into herself and blabbing to ducks about her life problems. There goes the famous Princess Star Butterfly.

God, when did she become so piteous?

* * *

He wasn't sure how much of an imbecile could he be.

He knew— _Marco Diaz fucking knew_ —that something was _wrong_ the second Star left the seat next to him and run up to the stage. Her smile had been incredibly forced, but he didn't call her out on it. He knew that he had made her feel uncomfortable. The awkwardness that had never been in their friendship before surfaced earlier in the concert and he _noticed_ — _God_ he noticed.

But he didn't do anything about it.

He was screaming her name the second that billboard exploded in a cloud of green magic.

He knew— _he fucking knew…_

He needed to find her.

Well, it's time to go home she guessed. It was dark and cold, and the lady who sells hair still creeps her out. Star sighed deeply and pulled out the pair of dimensional scissors, not ready to walk through the front door and face her best friend.

The scissors…

…She should probably give them back to him. They're his, after all. And— _and she couldn't have them._

She couldn't have _anything_ , could she?

She cut open the fabric of reality and created a portal straight to her room. Dark. It was dark and _lonely_ and—

She missed Marco already.

 _God_ , how was she supposed to live without him? Her plan was to go back to Mewni and just— _stay_ _there_ ; she had caused him more than his fair share of trouble. But now, being here alone in the vast space of her own room...

It—it made her feel broken.

Hollow and angry at herself and _worthless_ and self-loathing.

Was— _was this her punishment?_ For not telling him her feelings sooner? She was just trying to protect their friendship—it was too valuable a thing for her to lose. She could—she could be _just friends_ with him, right?

As long as she gets to stay by his side.

 _Star, you idiot. You can't stay—Marco's suffering because of you. He constantly risks his life for you, and you still want more? What's wrong with letting him date Jackie? At least she didn't pull him into a deadly adventure for her own gains. What did you ever do for him besides almost getting him killed?  
_  
That— _that's not true_ —Marco is my best friend and he loves me—

 _Who are you trying to fool? Face it, Butterfly, you're nothing but a burden to him. If you love him—really love him, then free him from a disaster such as yourself.  
_  
And she felt inadequate.

Insecurity was always Marco's problem, not hers. She was always there to cheer him up and reassure him that he matters.

So who will cheer _her_ up?

No one, that's it.

Nothing. Left with an empty soul, a cleaved wand and a heart devoid of emotions.

Could she be more pathetic?

* * *

"S-Star?" he knocked gently on the door. No answer, but he knew better than that.

"Star, I know you're in there. Can-can we talk?"

She was as quiet as a statue.

And the door was locked. _Dammit_.

"Look, I know I made you, um, _uncomfortable_. I get it. And I'm sorry, and I _promise_ it won't happen again," he choked a bit on the promise and it made her heart clenched painfully, "Now can you _please_ open the door? Just let me check on you? I saw that green magic blast and _for the love of God_ , Star, I was worried _sick_ ," his voice was nothing but tender loving care and she could feel herself crying.

"Are-are you okay? Are you _hurt_? Why did you blast the billboard? God, did Ludo come for your wand again? Star? _Star, open the door!_ " He was banging on her door with clenched fists and she was sobbing now and she knew he could hear it but _she_ _didn't_ _care_ , "Star, _please_. I will break it down if I have to, I swear." he paused for a little as if he's contemplating something, "If-If you don't want to see me I'll ask Mom to come up and check on you? I-I sent Jackie home already so please, _just_ — _just let me in—_ "

He sounded so _desperate_ she wondered why he was even doing this. It's pointless, _it's all pointless_. She was _selfish_ and _dirty_ and she couldn't believe she was jealous over her best friend's happiness and _she didn't deserve him_ and why didn't he just _leave her alone—  
_  
The lock buckled again when he tried to shake it out of place and she panicked.

" _D-Don't come in!_ " The shaking stopped immediately at her words and she sighed in relief. "I-I'm not hurt, Marco," her voice was an octave higher than usual but again, _she_ _didn't_ _care_ , "I'm just, um, relaxing. Yeah, relaxing! The hype at the concert got me good, you know? Just chilling a bit to cool off and then I'll be good as new. No need to worry about me, heh, heh," she forced out a laugh and it was _painful_.

 _But if it gives him reassurance...  
_  
She would do _anything_.

He was deathly quiet now, and she was _scared_. Scared that he had left already. Scared that he had _abandoned_ her, that she had just done something _wrong_ and he hates her now, and how could she— _how could she—  
_  
"Star," he whispered softly on the other side and she perked up slightly, "Why are you lying to me?"

He sounded small and heartbroken and vulnerable it made her wanted to kick the door open and just _hug_ him, hug all the stupid depression out of him for his kind and bright smile to return.

But she didn't. She _couldn't_.

So she cried instead.

"I know," he told her softly, "that you don't exactly like me dating Jackie. Don't think that I'm _that_ oblivious—even if I am I can still read you like a book. _I know you_ , Star Butterfly. I know when you're distressed, uncomfortable, or those moments when you would put on a strong face no matter how powerless you feel. Everyone else would be fooled but I wouldn't. Because _I know_."

She really shouldn't be crying this much.

"But what I don't know is what makes you like that. So _please_ , Star, _tell me._ You know I'll always listen, always understand—or at least try to understand. _I want to help_. _Please_ , you know I'm always here for you. Like how you are always there for me."

" _Can you open up to me?_ "

Of course.

But she couldn't.


	2. when it hurts

**Well, since people want me to write more...**

 **This'll be a three-parts, and I'll try to beat the release lmaooo**

 **enjoy :))**

* * *

She wasn't exactly sure how she'd managed to pull it off.

She had cried herself to sleep that night and it had felt _good_ \- wonderful even - to finally get that off her system. She returned to her bouncy and carefree self the day after with some difficulties, and even though the not-so-subtle glances Marco gave her were a bit... _weird_ and _hesitant_ , she pretended that she didn't see them.

Because pretending will work. _Right?_

 _It's not his fault_ ; she knew that, _dammit_. But this dramatically tragic feeling in her chest didn't recede, didn't just _give it a break already_. She wanted him to be _happy_ , to be _free_ and to be with _someone he loves and loves him back,_ someone who would do anything for him.

She could bring him happiness.

She could whisk him away and give him freedom.

She loves him and she was sure he loves her too. And she sure as hell would bring the world to his feet for him if he wanted her to.

But she _couldn't_ —she _wasn't_ his choice. Their type of love wasn't something he wanted the way he wants Jackie.

And it _hurt_ . It hurt like a bitch but she swallowed it all in. Shoved it all in a bottle and chucked it down to the bottomless pit nestled deep inside her heart.

All for him, because God knows _he deserves it._

* * *

Their days went on like normal. He didn't question her odd behavior or how she would slip away every time Jackie drop by. She told herself that _yes, she could handle this_ ; she's freaking _Star Butterfly_ and she is strong, supportive and _fuck it_ if she'd let him down.

But it was those moments when he would squeeze her shoulder meaningfully when she passed him in the hallways or give her a hug and a tender pat on the back or even just a little _text_ asking how she was doing that broke her resistance.

Star Butterfly _fell_ , and she fell _hard._

She had often wondered _why_ , why would he even put up with her. Why didn't he question her about that night by the door. Why didn't he just _shove her jealous ass back to Mewni_ or _punish_ her, _ground_ her, _ignore_ her or _anything at all_. She broke a Love Sentence concert _mid-song_ , for God's sake.

 _Why wouldn't he be angry with her?_

It would've made getting over him easier. _Honestly._

She couldn't count how many times she had sworn to herself that she would not consider Marco anything more than a friend; having him as her best friend is still better than to try and take him from Jackie and not having him at all. 

* * *

She'd hand it to him, though. He was a man of his words. He never showed public affection with Jackie anymore, or not in front of her, at least. Whenever Jackie leans in for a kiss and Marco caught a glimpse of Star in the distance, he would gently push his girlfriend away and ask sheepishly if they could go somewhere else.

She had been so _ashamed_ for the grateful _relief_ she felt when he had said those words, but _God_ was she grateful. She didn't think she could handle another close-up kiss and still has her mental stability intact. That was hard to get back, if she has something to say about it.

But trust Star when she said she wasn't _thrilled_ to go to yet another _goddamn concert._

It was her _Song Day_ , and she was _not_ in the mood for fucking Song Day. But her mother pressured her, persuaded her, threatened her, _pleaded_ with her and overall trying to convince her with every other method imaginable. She would even bend so low as to allow her daughter to choose her own musician and write her own song for the ballad.

So she caved and said yes. This could be the exact pick me up she needed to get over this depressing state, right?

Thirty hours later and a lot of coffee with no sleep and crumpled pieces of paper filled with failed rhymes definitely changed her mind.

Oh great. _Now she felt like a failure._

Marco, being his _amazing cinnamon bun_ self, had gently knocked on her door again and offered her _food_ (his nachos was _nostalgic_ , let her tell you) helped her with her rhymes and even _played his little keyboard to get her into the mood for writing music._

They didn't once bring up that talk.

And she was strangely fine with it. He could have his love life, she could have her peace, and they could still be good friends. It's a win-win solution, right? Just _ignore_ what happened and pretend to forget.

She couldn't forgive him because he hadn't done anything guilty.

 _What is wrong with her?_

* * *

Well, all things aside, Ruberiot is a _really_ _good_ singer. Just a little out of date, that's all. She fixed him up in no time and they're good to go.

The song she and Marco had written was her own way of cheering herself up and ensuring the entire world that she is still _Star Butterfly_ , rebel princess and she takes no shit from anyone. Yep, that's her. That's the Star Butterfly that everyone knows and loves. _She has a reputation to uphold._

She had been extra careful around her best friend and even though they have been dancing around the subject for a few days now, he just— _he just wouldn't fucking ask her about it_. Instead, he would give her those _subtle_ hints and make her all confused and baffled, her mind a mess of tangled thoughts and unfinished decisions. And _like hell_ she would confront him about it.

They were stuck like that for _an entire month_. Moving _nowhere_ , making _no progress,_ all the while pretending to _smile_ and _laugh_ around each other like _nothing_ happened between them.

By the time her Song Day came up, she was _sick of it._

Her parents had only allowed her to invite _one_ friend from Earth, so of course, she chose Marco. The utter reluctance on his face when he looked over to Jackie standing next to him was _absolutely crushing_ , but she tried not to think about it.

 _Spoiler alert:_ she couldn't stop thinking about it.

Sometimes her mind would wonder _why_ , just exactly _why_ her mother was hell bent on making her do this _stupid_ Song Day thing. It's not like she hadn't broken all of their traditions already anyway.

Maybe… Just _maybe…_

With all the heavy and dangerous things going on in the cosmic, perhaps she wasn't the _only one_ who needed a mental boost?

Her thoughts were interrupted as he stepped out of the giant closet in her quarters, his body clad in a white suit with soft pastel yellow pads on his shoulders and chains of spun gold so _delicate_ and polished they made her eyes gleam. He looked like a _prince_ and she couldn't help but let out an awed murmur.

" _Wow_ ," she muttered under her breath, her irises skirting on the way those buttons trembled slightly with every breath he took, "You look—"

" _Amazing."_

And _she was aware_ that those were the words he _himself_ had said to her back when she prepared for the Blood Moon Ball in what seemed like a million timelines ago.

Whatever praise she was about to shower him with died in her throat. She swallowed nervously and _so did he_ , almost like he _recognized_ his own words.

And it made the pain in her chest even more _intense_ than before.

She didn't even know that it was possible, but her _messed up_ mind kept surprising her.

She hastily retreated out of the dressing room after he let out a cough that he _claimed_ wasn't intentional.

But again, _she knew better than that._

* * *

Well, the concert went well enough. Her mother had been quite surprised at the energetic music blasting through the kingdom, but seeing how happy Star and her subjects were, the Queen just smiled and patted her head tenderly and gave her a _Good job, Star._

And she was content with that.

They were about to leave when Star remembered that she still needed to talk to her mother about that green magic accident (she was prepared to do just about _anything_ to _get rid of it_ and the danger it would put _Marco_ in) and it's better to talk face to face than through a mirror.

She had told Marco to just go home first; it's _late_ , and his parents might worry about him. She'll ask for a portal home later. He had left with yet another concerned look on his face, and a _Are you sure, Star? ,_ but she just laughed it off like she always does.

 _It hurts less if you practice it more and more every day._

She was _not_ prepared for a war council when she pushed the heavy wooden door to the throne room open.

"Mom? Dad?" she looked around, puzzled. There was Hekapoo, Rhombulus, and even that _space-time guy_ that she forgot the name of. Her mother looked alarmed, while her father fell backward as soon as she spoke up. It was a mess, but it was also _definitely_ a war council. The only one missing from their usual set up was Glossaryck. " _What are you doing?_ "

" _Star?_ You are _not_ supposed to be here," Moon quickly shushed her daughter and dismissed the entire council, "Why didn't you go back to Earth?"

"Mom, _did you call the war council?_ What happened?" she urged, while her mother looked uncomfortable and wouldn't meet her eyes.

"Look, Star," she started, but the determined look in her daughter's eyes made the words stuck in her throat, if only for a moment, "It's _nothing—_ "

" _Mom_ ," she cut Moon off, " _Please_. I have the wand now; _I can help_ with whatever it is that is bothering you this much. Besides, it looks like something dangerous is going on."

"Pumpkin, what are _you_ doing here?" her father said from his place on the ground, still covered in what seemed like corn kernels and seeds. "Shouldn't you be with your boyfriend Marco?"

" _For the last time_ , Dad, he's _not_ my boyfriend." There were that _annoyance_ and outright _denial_ in her voice that made her father stop immediately instead of going on and teasing her like usual. He picked himself up and dusted his clothes, moving to stand next to his wife.

"Honey, _what's wrong?_ " he asked tenderly, but she shook her head and stared at her mom.

"Moon?"

The Queen sighed, " _Fine_. I'll let you in on this, but if it's too dangerous then you will be out of it _immediately_ , understand? No _buts_."

" _Of course_ , Mom. Now, tell me. Please."

"It's—it's about Glossaryck…" 

* * *

"Star? Where are you?" She could hear him calling her from a distance and that shook her out of the daze. She turned around just in time to see him open the door to her room.

"Are you—are you okay?" he said hesitantly, his hands reaching out for her but not quite. They withdrew the second she flinched, and she felt _guilty_ and _shameful_.

"Star?" he tried again, but she remained quiet.

Her thoughts wandered to a few months ago. The last time she had faced something— _someone_ so _cunning_ and _devious_ , her wand had been cleaved and _Marco_ had almost _died_ because of _her_.

If—If her mother was right, then…

 _Then she needed to get Marco out as fast as possible.  
_


	3. painful words and how to let go

**So yeah I continue this :p Haven't been this motivated since forever lmaoo**

 **I know I'm evil, what are you talking about.**

* * *

She couldn't do it.

She _just_ —couldn't leave him.

 _But she had to._

Toffee is _back_ and he must've had his eyes out for Marco.

Because he _knew._

 _He knew everything._

* * *

He wasn't sure what was wrong with her.

She had been acting like this for _days_ , especially after that Song Day in Mewni.

She would avoid him at all cost, wouldn't hug him, wouldn't _touch him_ , wouldn't even _look him in the eye._

Did— _Did he mess up that badly?_

"I don't even know anymore, Jackie," he vented to his girlfriend when she came over to help him plan his summer break party and she glanced at him, concerned, "Everything just got all super… _weird_ with Star,"

"Maybe she needed some space?" she offered, but Marco shook his head.

"She never needed to stay away from me before. Things got out of hand after that Love Sentence concert, you know. I think I weirded her out when we— _um_ , _you know_ …"

"I don't think that's why, Marco," she reassured him with a smile and placed her hand lovingly on his shoulder, "She's your best friend, right? BFFs don't get creeped out just because one of them are kissing someone else."

"I—I mean, _sure_ , made sense, but I still have that _unsettling feeling_ , you know? Like something _really wrong_ is about to go down."

"It's gonna be _fine_. Don't sweat it too much, sweetie." she plopped a piece of nacho into his mouth and he burned up, his face crimson and bright. "Like, _come on_ , she's _Star_ ; she's going to be alright."

"Yeah," he mumbled with a mouthful of his own cooking, "Yeah." 

He guessed she would be.

* * *

Star Butterfly was _anything_ but alright now. 

She was a _mess_ , a heap of bubbling _guilty_ emotions inside, a cocoon with no feelings outside. She was _worthless_ , she was _hollow_ , she couldn't even make the _stupid decision_ to leave him. And she was only _fifteen_ , for _God's sake_ ; this so-called _love_ she had for him probably isn't even what love really is.

But looking back to all those times they risked their lives for each other, all those adventures, or even just sitting on the couch, bundled up in a blanket, having pizza on Friendship Thursday and overall just enjoying the other's company, she was _so sure_ it was _love_. 

_Oh, how naive could she be!?_

It's his _life_ that is at risk now. She couldn't be selfish, couldn't be greedy, even if _all she ever wanted_ was to _snatch_ him up and keep him all for herself. He deserves more, _so much more_ , and she would give up _anything_ for him. Even her _wand_ , the thing that had her waiting with bated breath and crossed fingers for _fourteen long years_ , and she had gave up her wand for him already.

She only had to— _just_ — _God_ , it's _so simple_ , _why couldn't she do it—_

Just _let go._

It wasn't _that hard_ if she thinks about it.

So why? _Just why?_

She had to. _She had to._

* * *

Acting was never her strong suit, but she would be lying if she said she didn't pick up something from Ponyhead.

So she took a deep breath and step out of her room, into the party downstairs. She let herself submerged in the music, lost in the scent of food floating through the halls and cleared her head with the blinking lights from the backyard.

She could do this. _She could do this._

Even if it's just to see him smile one last time before she had to erase herself from his life forever.

"Alright, Star," she told herself, putting a smile on her face, "Let's get awkward."

* * *

The party was in full swing now, with people dancing and laughing all around. His dad was making baked goods _nonstop_ , and his friends ate them up like they're ambrosia. He was having a good time, with a plate of nachos in his hand, a drink on the other and Jackie next to him, cracking jokes and sneaking in smooches every minute or so. This party is the _best party ever._

Except for when he had gone to check up on his dad.

He had asked him with worry on his face. "Hey, Marco,"

He nodded back and the uneasiness in his eyes got even worse, "Where's your partner in crime?" Huh? Why would he all of a sudden—

"What, you mean Star?" he asked, taken aback. Speaking of her…

She was _nowhere to be found._

"Is she still holed up in her room?"

"Yeah. _I mean_ —I think so." And he was so ashamed when those words came out of his mouth.

"You should go see her, son. Star isn't usually this… _introverted_. She's been droopy for _months_ now; are you _sure_ she's okay?" his father said gently, but his eyes were stuck on the ceiling, like he could somehow magically see her over the thick cement.

"I'll—go check on her. Thanks, Dad. And, _um_ , do you mind—telling Jackie if she asks where I am?"

"No problem, Marco," he smiled and went back to his baking while his son quickly made his way to the staircase and up.

 _But she wasn't there._

* * *

He was starting to get worried when he met his girlfriend again.

" _Jackie_ ," he huffed, his breathing a little labored, "Have you seen Star?"

"Huh? No, I haven't," she patted his back, "What's wrong, Marco?"

"I need to talk to h—"

" _HEY FRIENDS!_ " She somersaulted into the room, her lively attitude brightened up everything, " _HOW'RE YOU DOING?_ "

She was being _way_ too loud and a _bit_ obnoxious, but that's just the way Star is. He _did_ , however, _notice_ the way she wouldn't make eye contact to anyone and how her smile never quite seem to reach her eyes. The way she entered the room was just _trying too hard_ , even on the Princess's standards. Which could only mean one thing.

 _Something was wrong._

"Hey, Star?" She turned around, that creepy smile on her face still intact and he winced a little, _just a little_ , "Are—Are you okay?"

"You've been asking me that question for _a million times_ , Marco," she sighed playfully and pretended to wave cheerfully at a random guy passing them, but her eyes were full of doubt and _something else_ that he couldn't name, "And I have _told_ _you_ , _a million times_ , that _I'm fine_. So stop worrying about me and _just_ —enjoy yourself, okay?"

 _Stop worrying about her?_ She knew he could _never_ stop worrying about her! What was she even _talking_ about?

"Do you guys want me to, like, give you some space? To talk and stuff?" his sensible girlfriend spoke up and he was _indebted_ to her. 

But Star has other ideas.

"NO, NO!" she screamed again in that extremely high voice of her. He had noticed that she used that voice whenever she didn't want other people to read her so easily.

Well, _sucks to be you, Star_. Marco isn't just some _other people._

" _Actually,_ " he turned to Jackie and she nodded, taking the plate of nachos from his hands and walked over to her friends. He thanked the gods for _such an amazing girl_ ; years of pining after her was _definitely_ _worth it._

"So," he looked at the _other_ blonde girl in his life, absolutely had _no idea_ how to start this conversation. She stared back at him and overall just as _confused_ as he was.

He took a deep breath and he could see her do that too. 

"We need to talk."

"I have to tell you something." 

They said the words at the same time. 

_What?_

* * *

She— _he—_ he _didn't_ — _did he know?_

But _how?_ She had been careful not to _breathe_ a single word about Toffee when he was around. 

Had she been thinking out loud again?

But that can't be possible; she had been _so careful_ she didn't even _think_ about that alligator lawyer when he was in the room.

 _He said they needed to talk…_

Then what was he talking about?

* * *

Star? She needed to tell him something? _What is going on?_

Was she—was she _finally_ going to tell him about what's bothering her? Fill him in on what had been eating at her for _literal months?_

He had originally only wanted to tell her that he and Jackie had decided that they would ease up on their relationship a bit if she felt uncomfortable with how fast things were going, and that she could just tell him if she wanted some space instead of _tormenting_ herself like that; she knew he would do anything that she requested.

But well, whatever she was going to tell him, he is going to _help_ _her_ even if he can't.

Even if it involves going to another dimension to get that stupid sandwich she used to be so _obsessed_ about, or maybe party at somewhere she likes, or even _risk their lives_ on yet another adventure. 

He has the scissors; he can take her anywhere now.

 _Just give the word and he'll do it._

* * *

"Oh, you say it first, Star—"

"You can go first, Marco—"

Again. 

"Oh shit haha I'm sorry, I'll go first if you want me to—"

"Oh gods sorry Marco, guess I'll tell you—"

And _again,_

"Okay, stop that—"

"Okay, stop tha—"

 _And again._

It was like the Blood Moon Ball all over _again._

Except there's _absolutely nothing_ _funny_ about this. 

"Marco, stop talking!" she snapped, and he stared at her like she just grew a pair of wings behind her back, "I need to _tell_ _you—_ "

But the words died in her throat _again._

"You know what?" she shuddered and shuffled her feet around awkwardly, "You can go first."

"Okay...so, um," he cleared his throat and straightened himself, "About Jackie and I—" 

_But she cut him off._

"Wait, _wait_ ," she narrowed her eyes, her hands shot into the air to shut him up, "The _pressing matter_ that you want to talk to be about is _your relationship with Jackie?_ "

"Well, yes, but it's kind of related to y—"

" _MARCO DIAZ!_ " Her raging voice boomed around the house and he _would not_ be lying if he said that everyone was staring at them. He looked over to her frantically only to see the tears in her eyes and falling down her cheeks. Her hearts were cracked at the middle and that was _troubling_ , to say the least.

" _How could you?_ " she cried, and she sounded so heartbroken he _didn't care_ if people were looking anymore, "You wanted to talk about your _fucking love life_ , while I'm _here_ , _killing myself_ over having to _leave_ you to keep you _safe and happy—HOW COULD YOU?_ ARE YOU REALLY _THAT_ BLIND OR _DO YOU JUST HATE ME!?_ " She wept, tears dropping and widening the crack further. 

For _whatever reason_ \- she thought it was to avoid public humiliation but he just didn't want people to see her cry - he grabbed her hand and pulled her upstairs, into her room. She was sobbing harshly now, as if all those weeks crying alone wasn't enough. He was probably sneering at how pathetic she was.

 _But no_. He set her down on her bed and tried to shake some senses back into her or at least calm her down. But her wand reacted to the crushing weight of her emotions and zapped him away, not letting him _touch_ her.

"Ouch!" he yelped, and she looked up _immediately_. The tip of his index finger was bleeding, and she went into a _frenzy_.

" _Marco!_ I—" she fumbled over him, and the wand glowed green dangerously. She startled, and her instinct _screamed_ at her to _reach for him._

But she kept her distance in fear of hurting him again. 

" _This—_ " Her lips trembled; she could barely make out the syllables, " _This_ is _exactly_ _why_ I have to _leave_ , Marco. I— _I can't hurt you if I'm not here._ "

"What are you talking about?" he snapped, throwing his hands in the air exaggeratedly, ignoring his own pain, "You are _not_ _making any_ _sense_ , Star! _Hurt me?_ You would _never_ hurt me intentionally! And _leaving?_ _What?_ _Where are you going?_ "

"Marco, _just—_ " A soft hiccup escaped her throat and she looked _miserable_ , "I— _I can't explain_. You'll be in danger if I do but I _have to—I have to go—_ "

" _You are not going anywhere!_ " he grabbed her arm despite the _burning_ pain on his palm that the green magic inflicted, " _Not without me!_ "

"That's the _whole point of me leaving!_ " she cried desperately, but he wouldn't let go even though all the blood were dying his hoodie another shade of red, "So I _can't hurt you!_ "

"I've been _telling you this_ since the day we _met_ , Star!" he pulled her into a hug and the pain was almost unbearable, but he _wouldn't let her go_ , " _You can't hurt me!_ "

"I _can_ , and I'm _doing it!_ " she jerked herself away from him and _he stood there_ , baffled, bleeding and _heartbroken_ as he watched her whipped up an unstable greenish cloud and hopped on it.

"Wait, _Star!_ _That's not safe!_ " he screamed after her, completely forgot about his pain, her unreasonable reasons and _everything_ but _her safety_. She only looked back at him sadly, and offered him a painful smile. 

"I'll miss you, Safe Kid. But I have to. I have to leave." 

" _For good."_

And in a blink of an eye, she was _gone_ , her deadly cloud smudging darkness all over the horizon of his falling sky.

He had this bad feeling sitting at the bottom his stomach that he's never going to see her again.

She left his world in a curtain of mist, tears and thick, never-ending grief.

And they cried.

* * *

 **sooo do i leave it like this or continue...**


	4. nostalgic insomnia and family

**Woo boy XD Another 2k chapter and ACTUAL PLOT THIS TIME AHUHU**

 **Well, Star's at her worse, but she's not alone. She's far from alone.**

 **A little, LITTLE family fluff because next chapter is going to be hard. I need to chill out omg.**

 **Enjoyy 3**

* * *

He couldn't sleep that night.

He—he had always known that she was a part of his life, a part that he couldn't live without.

But being forced to _breathe_ without her by his side is harder than he thought.

The wounds on his skin had closed themselves and healed magically, leaving nothing but faint silvery scars behind. The mark he got from her.

A painful reminder that he could've tried _harder_.

He could've _held onto her_ until his body burn to ashes, could've _stopped her from leaving_ , could've done _something_.

He felt disappointment and it's not for anyone else but _himself_.

HIs parents had rushed into the room immediately after she left, and his mom freaked out at the blood on his red hoodie. It wasn't that hard to see; the amount of damage her magic could cause is _phenomenal_. She could've easily let her wand loose and he was _sure_ he wouldn't be standing here is she did.

But staying on Earth without her _hurt_.

And knowing that she might never return hurt _even more._

Could he— _could he_ had done _something_ to prevent _this?_ Did she leave because she felt uncomfortable with him and Jackie? Truth be told, that was _exactly_ why she _snapped_.

But she kept repeating _something_ about hurting him and putting him in danger…

… _What is happening in her chaotic world?_

* * *

She couldn't close her eyes.

It was too _big_ and _empty_. She longed for the warmth of _someone_ in her flickering sleep.

 _But nobody came._

She had grabbed his scissors and _fled_ the second her cloud flew out of his sight. The Princess kicked the door to her castle open and crumbled, wailing and _defeated_ and _heartbroken_. Her parents had surrounded her in hugs as soon as her foot fell on the cold floor, her father's strong arms gave her reassurance and her mother's loving kisses made her stable again. She locked eyes with the Queen and they both cried, knowing that Star had completed _what she had to do._

They put her back to her room two hours later with an abundance of hot cocoa and the promise of _anything she wants._

All she wanted was _him._

But she bit her lip and nodded weakly.

They all said heartbreak can't kill a person, but the feeling of being _ripped apart_ at the seams and _lit_ on _burning fire_ is worse than death itself.

The uncontrollable crave for his gentle touch lingered in her mind and she felt _guilty_ , _disgusted_ with herself because _how could she do that?_ After _hurting_ him, causing him _physical pain_ and _broke him_ mentally? _What_ is _wrong_ with her? She was a _monster_ , a vile creature, a _thing_ that does nothing more than _destroying_ _everything_ it had ever laid its _filthy_ hands on.

She was _nothing_ but a broken vessel of the girl she used to be.

Star Butterfly curled up into herself for some of that precious human warmth and for the umpteenth time that day, she wept silently for her fate.

She missed him. _God, she missed him._

But she would rather suffer in this cold, desolated place than to come crawling back after him.

He _cannot be hurt,_ _ever again._

She owed him that much.

* * *

Sleeping in such a large room is _unsettling_.

He wasn't sure how she did it.

But lying here, staring at the soft blue silk on the top of her giant canopy bed, he felt… _lonely_. This place is too _big_ to be cozy for one person, and the absence of her bubbly presence made it _worse_.

He had begged his parents to come here, to held on to that final trait of her in his life. The way her bed felt when he lay down was _nostalgic_ , like _any moment_ she would come out from behind a curtain and _swoop him up_ into a hug, laughter and colors swirling around them. He would _wrap his arms around her and—_

It took more than a bit of his mentality to remind himself that _she's not here._

He couldn't sleep no matter how hard he tried.

 _How did it come to this?_

Things had been going downhill ever since she lost her spellbook. But he was _there_ for her; _he was right next to her!_ He hadn't gotten hurt _at all_ since he met her! Nothing is her fault!

… _Okay,_ he'll admit that he _might've_ gotten some bruises and things along those lines, _but it's completely normal!_

…But even if he is, _in fact_ , in _danger_ , he would _do it for her._

Better than to let her deal with everything by herself.

Couldn't stand it anymore, he got up and walked around her room, reminiscing about things that have passed. He remembered that time when he tried to cheer her up but then, being the _idiot_ he is, blew up her aquarium instead. She had been furious and _annoyed_ , but they just laughed about it afterward.

 _He missed the time he spent with her._

He wandered over to her closet and opened it out of habit. It was _messy_ , with heaps of clothes and boots and accessories strewn everywhere. The only exception was her rack of dresses, which were kept nice and neat, clean and _without a single wrinkle_. He saw the blue dress she wore on Mewnipendence day, that Saint Olga's disguise ( _she still kept that?_ ), her battle armor, goth clothes from that phase she had for _half a day_ , even that horrible Ludo costume she wore on Halloween. He laughed a bit at the last one and picked up the tail nearby, putting it into place along with the skull helmet.

Then his eyes skirted on the pink ball gown and the smile on his face died.

 _The Blood Moon Ball…_

He looked over to the sea captain portrait on the second floor before he could stop himself.

What had the old man said?

 _Blood Moon… tonight…_

— _the Moon—of lovers…_

Right…

…Maybe that's why he saw the Blood Moon on his first kiss with Jackie? Was it a _warning?_

 _Because he belongs to Star?_

…Whatever _crazy_ and _dangerous_ thing she's doing, he _can't_ let her do it alone.

 _But she took his scissors._ How could he _possibly_ help her?

He looked around frantically for something that he could use to go to Mewni, or to _get help_ for her.

His eyes fell on the curtain covered mirror and he smirked despite himself.

* * *

She didn't get a wink of sleep last night. Star felt dead on the inside, but she was _not_ going to appear _tired_.

 _Not today._

The Magic High Commission (it _so_ is a war council now) was called upon again in the throne room, and the Princess was included this time. When the servant knocked on her door, she had sprung out, ready to end this _once and for all._

 _For Marco._

The sooner she ends this, the better it is. Her wand would _stop_ acting up, and she would be able to go back to his side.

Even if it's just to watch him be happy with someone else he loves.

She's content with that.

"Star, my dear," her mother called her over and she sat on the seat next to Lekmet, the demon goat guy who got encased in Rhombulus's crystal months ago. He _baa_ 'ed at her and she smiled awkwardly, unsure of what to say.

"He said _hi_ ," Rhombulus translated and she waved back. Everyone's attention was on her and it was _suffocating_. The Queen cleared her throat and Star shot her a grateful look.

"We are not to be distracted, Rhombulus. You all know that this is Star Butterfly, my only daughter and the Princess of Mewni. Star, this is Rhombulus, Chancellor Lekmet, Omnitraxus Prime and Hekapoo. We are the Magic High Commision." she waited _two seconds_ for everything to sink in, "Okay, introduction is done. Now, we move on to more pressing matters."

"River, _dear_ , would you give Star a summary of what we have been discussing?" she looked at her husband expectantly and to his credit, he seemed _very serious_ about this.

"Of course, my love. You see, Star, we have been investigating this _fritz_ for weeks now—"

"Only _Rhombulus_ calls it a _fritz_ , dear," the Queen glared at said Time-Out Guy in disapproval, "We call it a leak, honey. _Something_ has been draining the power of magic from the universe. _And we had pinpointed a location._ "

"So…" Star said hesitantly, "Are we going to…"

" _ATTACK!_ WE'RE GOING TO _ATTACK!_ " Rhombulus flipped the table in his enthusiasm, spilling corn and drinks everywhere. Moon _glowered_ at him and he flinched, cowered in his seat.

"Alright, to the time-out corner," Hekapoo muttered in her usual _not impressed_ tone, and the poor guy looked at Star for help.

"So, where's that location, Mom?" she quickly changed the subject and he winked at her. Or _blinked_. It's hard to tell since he only has _one eye._

"It's that old monster temple at the end of the _Forest of Certain Death_ ," she told her daughter, and there was this _glint of excitement_ in the girl's eyes that made the Queen let out the faintest smile, "We suspect _Ludo_ is there with Glossaryck. But we are not sure about _Toffee_."

"Then let's go, no?" Star said excitedly but her father stopped her.

"Pumpkin, this place is ancient and _dangerous_ ," he insisted, "I—I _don't exactly_ agree with your mother about letting you go there…"

" _River!_ " Moon snapped, " _We've talked about this._ She's _fifteen_ years old. You know her training on Earth is to be completed when she is seventeen, _don't you?_ " he nodded ferociously at his wife's icy stare, "Then it'll be her coronation and _she will be Queen_. A little hardship is good for her."

 _S—Seventeen?_

"You— _You are right_ , my dear. _Of course._ But _still—_ "

"No _buts_ , River," she sighed, "We _can't fail this_ , and we'll need her help. _She has the wand._ "

"Which is _unstable!_ " her husband argued, "It is _not_ _safe_ for her to go with us, Moon! _Who knows_ what the wand could do to her? We have _never_ seen anything like this before and I _do not agree—_ "

"Dad," To his surprise, she cut him off, " _I can do this,_ " she faked a smile so huge it made her face _hurt_ , "It'll—It'll be _just like_ fighting monsters. I can even do it _without my wand_ , you know,"

"Pumpkin, I'm not questioning your abilities," he said soothingly, "We _all know_ you can do it. It's just— _a father's instinct._ I feel like you're going to be in danger if you come with us—" The silent pleading look in his daughter's eyes melt his heart and he sighed in defeat, "Well, if you _insist_. Besides, any monster who wants you have to _step over my dead body!_ "

A roar of approval rolled across the room and the three of them startled, suddenly remembering that they have an audience. Lekmet was wiping his teary eyes, and Hekapoo had this proud smile on her face.

Star would get along with them _just fine._

* * *

The meeting ended half an hour later and they decided they will attack at dawn. Her parents sent the Princess back to her room with tender kisses on the forehead and goodnight wishes. Her mother bent down to hug her and told her to _get a good rest_ ; it's a big day tomorrow.

The door closed behind her and her façade _crumbled._

The smile on her face slipped away as soon as her eye contact with the people she loves disappeared.

The glint in her eyes burned off as soon as her back hit the large wooden door, leaving nothing but hollow feelings inside her heart.

But her soul burned with _determination_. Tomorrow is a _real_ battle, the start of a war. She needed to be emotionally stable enough to _fight_ , and she _was not_ going to _lose_.

 _She can't put him in any more danger._

So she picked up his pair of scissors - the only thing about him she had managed to snatch from her madness other than broken memories and a sense of _déjà vu_ every time someone chose a pink dress as her formal attire for the day - and brought it close to her in the vain hope of having his warmth around her shivering body.

To her credit, she did not cry herself to sleep that night.

* * *

 **that was sweet and not short at all lolol**

 **I'm trying to work out the next chapter but I don't think I can finish it before Monday lmaoo. I'll try; it's my challenge for myself, but I still have homework ugh.**

 **Well, next one would probably be the last, unless I decide to do an epilogue or something XD**


	5. feathers

**Oh shit that finale fucked me up :((( So here's a long chapter to make it up to you all 3**

 **On the other hand my take was pretty close XD not really but yeah XD**

 **So I realized that now we have to survive another hiatus, and I decided to keep writing this. Yes, it's not over. It's nowhere near over actually, lmaooo**

 **Sorry for not updating sooner; I had school and I took time to plan out the entire plot :3 It's gonna be long, so buckle up we're heading to angst town**

* * *

Morning came to her with an unexpected warmth.

She looked around, confused about her surroundings until she blinked a few times and realized that she was, _in fact_ , in Mewni.

She flopped back to the soft mattress with a groan. The sky outside her window was still dark, despite the specks of rose gold dabbing at the skyline. It wasn't dawn yet, but she couldn't go back to sleep even if all she wanted was to return to that _beautiful dream_ she had.

…Well, it would be better to get up early and start preparing.

 _Today's a big day after all._

* * *

"You _fucking Earth Turd_ , YOU DID _WHAT!?_ " Ponyhead screamed across the mirrors and he _winced_ , hands shot up to cover his ears but stopped mid-air. He needed help now, and ignoring her would rather be rude.

"Ponyhead, _language_ ," he grumbled begrudgingly, "My parents are downstairs—"

"I don't give a _fuck_ about your parents!" she spat, "Now, tell me, _what did you fucking do_ to my best friend?"

"I didn't do anything, _I swear!_ " he held up his hands and she glared at him, her look saying _I'd sell my soul to Satan just to be able to beat the shit out of you_ right now _, you fucking bastard._

She was _downright terrifying_ when she's angry.

" _Look_ , Ponyhead," She snarled at him and he flinched, but Marco pushed on, "I don't know what's happening in the magical dimensions across the universe or _whatever_ , but Star told me she _had to leave_ because she didn't want to _hurt_ me. What did that mean?"

"What did _that_ mean? _What did that mean?_ " she yelled at him, " _You dumbass_ , she's been crushing you for _months_! Do you _know_ how many _nights_ did she _cry herself to sleep_ because she puts _your_ _happiness_ above _her own?_ " she looked away and muttered to herself angrily, "Even though you are not worth the trouble at all…"

… _What?_

"Wait wait, _back up,_ " he waved his hands in hope of getting back her attention, " _What do you mean_ , crushing _me?_ I— _I thought she likes Oskar?_ "

"…You _fucking idiot,_ " she sighed in defeat and annoyance. He kept his silence and she _stared_ at him, " _So?_ Do you need my help or not?" she sassed, but he still wouldn't say anything.

"You know, you have those dimensional scissors Star told me about? The ones that you earned _yourself_ after _sixteen imaginary years_ that only lasted for _eight fucking minutes?_ The ones that looked, _quote Star_ , super _cool_ and stuff?" she rolled her eyes when he remained unresponsive, "What? Star wouldn't _shut up about it_ and now you're acting like you don't know anything?"

Star? She— _she liked his scissors?_

She thought they're cool? She thought he— _he's cool?_

He could feel his face lit up slightly and _fuck_ , he wasn't supposed to feel this _fuzzy feeling._

" _Wait a sec_ ," Ponyhead narrowed her eyes and scanned his expression, suspicion in her own, "Oh my _God—_ "

" _You like Star too, don't you?_ " she had the decency to whisper instead of shouting so loud his entire neighbourhood would be able to hear, and for that he _thanked God._

His quick reflexes in karate failed him miserably that time.

"Wh— _What?_ _No_ I—I _don't,_ " he stuttered, his face quickly turn as red as his hoodie, "Star is my friend, and I'm okay with that, _she's okay with that_ ; besides, I have _Jackie—_ " But Ponyhead pointed her horn at him _threateningly_ and he stopped dead in his track despite knowing that she wouldn't be able to hurt him.

" _Don't—_ " she closed her sparkly eyes and inhaled in an effort to calm herself down, "—just _don't_ _mention her name_ when you're talking to _me_ ," she turned her back to him and he was concerned, "That girl might be cool and all, but she _hurt my BFF_. And _no one_ is getting away with hurting my bestie."

" _Not even you._ "

She said the words in such a spine-chilling and un-Ponyhead like way it made him swallow dry air.

" _Okay_ ," she blinked several times and returned to her normal personality, like the last few minutes didn't happen, "So _this_ is how we're going to do it. I don't have dimensional scissors anymore, so _you're_ going to take us there. If you don't know where to find me I'll wait at the Amethyst Arcade in ten minutes, and you'd _better not be lat_ e or you're _dead to me,_ got it, _punk?_ "

"Wait, _Ponyhead!_ " he shouted when she was about to end the call and she looked back at him, impatient, "I— _I don't have_ the scissors anymore. Star took them away from me when she—um…"

"…Alright," the Princess sighed, "Then you're going to call Tom and you both are going to pick me up in _ten_. He's the only guy left I know who has dimensional scissors. Give him a call."

Then she hung up faster than he could say wait.

* * *

"Good morning, Your Highness,"

"Would you like some tea?"

"Your Highness, please excuse my interruption. The Council is waiting for you in the Throne Room."

All those formal greetings and the way people _trembled_ when she looked at them…

It's so— _unfamiliar._

But she might as well get used to it if she's staying here forever.

…No. She's _not_ staying here _forever!_ She'll be back at his side _as soon as_ the problem is resolved.

"Ah!" A high pitched voice followed by the sound of something breaking and a man begging and apologizing profusely pulled her out of her thoughts. She looked over to see what the fuss is about but deep inside, she wasn't _that_ interested.

"Princess!" the guard looked at her, baffled. The man kneeling on the ground directed his pleading eyes at her and she felt a pang of empathy in her heart.

"What is the matter here?" she asked, trying to remain professional. It's _crazy_ what those emotionally draining episodes could do to her. She felt _numb_ and it was scaring her.

"My—My deepest apologies, Your Highness!" the guard bowed but she didn't pay him any attention. Her eyes were on the servant. "This clumsy servant dropped the plates," he glared at the shaking man, "I—I'll take him out immediately, Ma'am."

"Wait," she held up her hand and the entire room held their breath. She had forgotten how _powerful_ it is to be a princess. "Let the man go."

"Ma— _Ma'am?_ " the guard stuttered, while the servant looked at her gratefully. "It's alright. Just let him go back to what he's supposed to be doing."

Then she walked out of the room to meet the Council.

…At least she saved a life. He—He's going to be proud, _right?_

—Like he's going to care _at all._

* * *

"Okay, Marco, you did _what_ now?"

"Seriously, why do people keep _asking me that question?_ " he snapped, "I _told_ you; I _didn't do anything!_ "

"Well, if you did nothing then why is the result so… _catastrophic?_ " the demon hastily put on his shoes, eager to get out of there and rescue his friend. _Yes_ , Marco told himself, _Star is only his friend now._

"Whatever you say, Tom," he rolled his eyes, "Now _hurry up_ , please. Ponyhead would _skewer_ me if we're late."

"You brought _her_ with you?" Tom scrunched his nose in distaste. Seeing Marco's raised eyebrow, he just shrugged and said, "Never been in that pony's favor. She tried to _kill me_ more than once."

"Same," he said through the mirror, remembering that time Ponyhead had tried to drill a hole in his guts when they first met.

"I'll be there in _two minutes_. Get your stuff together." Tom said, his face grim, before disappearing in a curtain of fire and the call ended. He gathered his bag, stuffed it with extra bandages, medkits and grabbed a sword from her rack of weapons. He had _sixteen imaginary years_ of sword fighting under his belt; _surely_ he could wield one now.

Fire surged from the floor of her room and he staggered back. The demon emerged, holding nothing but flames in his palms. He had his armor on, endowed with blood red gemstones and forged from hardened iron.

" _What?_ " he asked defensively when Marco eyed him warily, "It helps my battle look."

The Earth boy groaned in irritation and slung the bag on his shoulder, "Let's just _go already_ , okay?"

Tom clicked his tongue and ripped another pillar of fire in the air, "You might want to close your eyes for awhile, Diaz."

And in a few seconds later, the beeping sounds from the Arcade is all that surrounded them.

 _It's on._

* * *

Her mother fell down to her feet with wide blown empty eyes and she _screamed._

" _Ludo!_ " Star Butterfly cried in despair and threw herself recklessly at her old nemesis with her spells. Every single one of them. _Narwhal Blast, Warnicorn Stampede_ , even so desperate as to use _Spider With A Top Hat._

 _Nothing_ hit the horrendous soulless creature standing in front of her.

"Ludo's not here, _Princess_ ," the sadistic monster said, his tone something familiar but it didn't _click_ until he raised his hand, half of the magical star embedded in his palm, glowing green brightly.

But the most important thing was _a finger._

A finger that _wasn't there._

" _Toffee?_ " she asked, incredulously. Chancellor Lekmet had revived her mother, and she was picking herself back up, panting. The Queen's eyes widened when she saw a possessed Ludo, staggering back before looking at her daughter. Star was _staring_ at the part of her wand stuck in the monster's body, hatred mixed with confusion filled her veins.

But Moon stepped up before she could say anything.

"Hand us the wand, _Toffee_. You _cannot do this,_ " her mother demanded, but Ludo— _no, Toffee_ , just laughed like the Queen's threat was the funniest thing in the entire universe.

"Ah, you are still as _delightful_ as ever, Moon," he mused, " _However_ , I'm afraid I can't give it back to you."

" _In fact_ , there is something of mine that your daughter have, and I will have it back."

A flash of green light. A sadistic laughter. A cry for help and darkness plunged her consciousness.

In the few agonizingly painful seconds when she could feel Toffee draining the magic from her veins, her life flashed before her eyes.

 _His smile… his eyes… his loving touch…_

 _Home._

 _She wished she could've stayed a little while._

 _I'm sorry, Marco…_

* * *

It took everything of him to _think_ when that destructive magic hit her.

He looked around him. Ponyhead gave a furious battle cry then charged into combat with the monster, screaming bloody murder. Tom looked shocked and his expression was _painful_ before he gathered himself and _raged_ , all three of his eyes as red as the gems on his armor. Fire trailed after him and roared in explosions, utter cataclysmic and an deafening darkness amidst the burning chaos.

 _But Marco stayed back._ He had a mission to do, and he's going to complete it.

— _Star…_

He had to muffle his own shattering scream when he saw her there, eyes blown wide and as black and empty as the void in his heart.

Ludo— _was that really Ludo?_ —was laughing _maniacally_ and her mother was flying across the room, throwing shards of magic at the monster in rage and grief. On the other side of the ruins the Queen created, a goat demon guy was trying to reach Star. He _ran_ and _ran_ until he was next to her and cradled her in his arms. She was _lifeless_ , and he could feel his own life force _throbbing_ , as if he _literally couldn't live without her._

He could see a set of skull and bones littered on the ground.

Hekapoo's scissors were destroyed next to her body.

The crystal on the guy's head turned a _haunting_ shade of black.

Ponyhead barely managed to dodge Ludo's attack.

Tom threw flames after flames but it _didn't even make a dent_ in his green magic shield.

And Star's mother is about to go _down._

Meanwhile, the goat guy was right by his best friend's side.

" _Baa,_ " he said sadly and shakily touched her pinky. A sudden rush of golden magic filled her and she gasped a breath, but she _barely made it_ when the light died out abruptly.

"Lekmet, _no—_ " she cried weakly as he turned into dust and blown away by the wind, the painful smile still on his face.

The only thing left of him was a cornucopia.

But it only took her two seconds to regain her awareness and she looked at the battle between Ludo and her mother unfold. She could _clearly_ see that Moon was losing, and her eyes turned sharp.

" _Marco,_ " she told him, "Grab everyone else and _get out of here._ "

Tom and Ponyhead were down. Her sparkles disappeared and turned into specks of black. His three eyes _hollow_ and his flames died, all the gems on his armor cracked and broken.

Star tossed him his scissors and he tried to cut a portal back to Earth, but it didn't work. The portal was _nothing more_ than a void, and unpassable.

 _He was starting to hate the color black._

"It won't work," she picked herself up and patted around for her wand, "Mom had the dimension locked down in case Ludo tried to escape. Make a portal to my castle instead."

So he did. The bright blue vortex swirled and he shoved Hekapoo's body in, grabbed the skull and the cornucopia with the remaining dust, dragged Ponyhead and Tom through it and got the crystal guy's body in last.

When he turned back, she was standing on her own two feet, hand gripping her half broken wand with shaking rage. Her face was _strangely calm_ , and it brought chills down his spine but the way her eyes were _burning_ gave him courage.

She did her incantation dance and _he recognised it_. It was the same one she used to broke his crystal prison a little over a year ago.

But _something was wrong._ The hearts on her cheeks didn't lit up threateningly like it did once. Her hair wasn't blown by a mysterious breeze and a blue hue of pure magic wasn't _there._

The wand wasn't responsive _at all_. The Queen noticed it too, and her eyes widened in horror.

But _Star didn't._

She pointed it at Ludo, expecting _absolute extinction_ , blue plasma energy or at least _some_ kind of explosions.

 _But nothing happened._

"W— _What?_ " she whispered to herself, dread in her voice, " _Why—Why didn't it work?_ "

"Princess," Toffee laughed, "ONe would think that your wand have _problems—_ "

" _TOFFEE!_ " the Queen cried and took his attention away from her quivering daughter, "YOU WILL _PAY FOR THIS!_ "

"Somehow I doubt that, _Your Majesty,_ " he snarled and the same beam of green magic sucked her in. She panicked and looked around frantically, until her eyes met Marco's.

" _Get her out of here!_ " Moon roared with what little breath she has left, "Grab the wand— _she can't use it anymore_ and you _have to—_ "

The lights in her eyes went out and her scream was silenced by cruel, rumbling laughter.

 _It was just the two of them now._

Toffee made his way over slowly and dramatically, while Star was petrified, nothing but fear and denial in her dull blue eyes.

He reached out for her wand before _Toffee_ could take it.

A blinding light surrounded the three of them, and Marco shielded Star in fear of hurting her. She was _trembling_ and he wrapped her in his arms, his fingers digging into the transforming wand.

The handle turned into leather, the head got longer, heavier. The feeling of holding this… _weapon_ was so _familiar_ he could _swear_ it was _a—_

When the smoke cleared, he could see _his new wand._

"A _blade,_ " Toffee mused, " _Interesting._ "

He cut the air out of instinct when the monster tried to take a closer look and green fire swirled around them, licking at Ludo's stretched out arm. He jerked back and inspected the damage that lasted for _two seconds_ before it regenerated itself.

" _Feisty_ ," he chuckled while Marco hooked her arms around his shoulders and slowly retreated to the opening portal, "But I would be _careful_ if I were you."

" _M—Mom—_ get my mom, _please,_ " Star begged, her eyes searching in panic and stopped dead in her track when Toffee picked up the Queen's lifeless body with his magic, " _Marco, please!_ "

"I'm afraid that won't be happening anytime soon, _Princess,_ " he snarked, his cold, disgusting fingers touching Moon's cheek marks, "Your mother and I have some _catching up_ to do, after all."

" _NO!_ " she howled, tugging at Marco _desperately_ when he held her back, "Don't _touch her!_ "

But he remembered the Queen's last words.

 _Get her out of here!_

" _Star—_ " he started, but she was sobbing so hard she couldn't hear him, "We _need to get out of here—_ "

" _No!_ " she yelled at him and tried to run towards her mother, "Let me _go! Marco!_ "

It _broke his heart_ to watch her like that.

But he toughened himself and dragged her to the portal despite her cries. She gave up and eventually _stopped_ , deathly _quiet_ and _emotionless_. Toffee watched them with _fascination_ and an _unsettling_ smirk on his face, the green half of the star gleamed in his palm dangerously.

"Marco," the monster called, and he looked _straight_ into his swirling golden eyes, "Tell Star _I'm coming for my finger._ "

" _What do you mean,_ tell _Star?_ " he snarled, hateful, "She's _right here_ ; tell her _to her face if you dare._ "

"Oh, _I assure you,_ " Toffee laughed with menace, and Marco stared at her defeated state in sudden realization.

" _She's not there."_

* * *

 **ohh shit everyone's dead XD**

 **rip star too omg blame my friends they convinced me to kill everyone instead of almost everyone lmaooo**

 **sorry not sorry**


	6. origins

**A/N: Gods I am so sorry for not updating by Saturday :(( I was on a ten hour flight and I literally passed out from jet-lag :(( Anyway, an extra long chapter to make it up to y'all :)) I'll try to update weekly by Saturday, but this week is my sister's wedding, so no guarantee, guys :/ Enough said, enjoyyy**

* * *

On the other side was total chaos.

River could see a pile of the most powerful creatures in the universe, _defeated_. Hekapoo and Rhombulus looked like his nightmares, and Princess Ponyhead (how did she even _get there?_ ) and Star's ex-boyfriend, _the Lucitor kid_ , were just as _horrific_.

But _nothing_ prepared him for when he saw his daughter.

Eyes wide, pale and detached, barely hanging off a red-faced, panting Marco. Her clothes were tattered and there were _bruises_ on her face, but she didn't seem to notice it. _Didn't seem to care._

" _Star!_ " he cried, immediately came to her side and lifted her off her Earth boy, "What happened?"

No response.

"S—Star? What's wrong, Pumpkin?"

 _To his horror, she looked_ disturbingly dead.

"Marco?" he turned over to her best friend, expecting _some sort_ of explanation. All he got instead was the boy looking away shamefully.

That was when the King noticed the sword he was grasping in his other hand.

"The _wand?_ " he asked, surprised, "But—but what about my daughter? And—and _Moon?_ "

The boy's grip on her shoulder tightened like he was bracing for something bad.

It hit River, and it hit him _hard._

He wanted to hang onto her and _never let go of her_ , of his _precious_ little girl ever again.

He wanted to lock her up in a tower to keep an eye on her, to keep her _safe_.

He wanted to cry, to scream, to curse, to _completely crumble_. He didn't want to keep up this damned façade anymore.

His wife was _gone_. His daughter was alive, but she was _as good as dead._

His _entire family—_

 _No,_ He told himself, _Now is not the time to collapse, River. Your daughter is not dead; she's still alive!_ He whipped his head back and stared at her, heartbroken, _And she needs to rest as fast as possible._

" _Guards!_ " he yelled, his eyes furious and everyone cowered when they saw how fast their easy-going king could change, "Escort Marco here and take everyone else to the Infirmary. I will take my daughter myself."

"Pumpkin, _dear_ ," he whispered softly, his tone gentle and sweet, "How about a piggyback ride? Like the good old days? _Please?_ "

Again, she was silent.

And it was killing him from the inside.

* * *

It was lonely. Lonely and _quiet_ and _terrifying_.

It scared her how _numb_ she felt.

Star had never been so fond of her mother's discipline and the strict way she treated her. But seeing her _there_ , eyes black and devoid of everything that made her _her_ , she was at a loss for words. Something shattered in her when Marco tugged her hand and it was _gone_. Her persistent crumbled along with her sanity. She could feel it break, could feel the way her heart clenched when Toffee touched her mother's cheeks with those nimble, cold and _vulgar_ fingers.

She felt helpless. _Vulnerable_ and _weak_ and _utterly helpless._

There wasn't _anything_ she could do. All she had left - the only thing that made her _useful_ to anyone— _to him_ , anymore - was gone.

 _Her magic was gone._

She didn't even _feel_ it when her father lifted her up tenderly, eyes full of pain and compassion. She didn't _care_ when he carried her through the halls she grew up in, through the golden doors and the pastel blue walls. She laid there, broken and hopeless against the soft cotton sheets on the brand new bed, silent tears staining the perfectly white surface. She could feel the pity in everyone else's gaze on her, and she _hated it._

She did _not_ deserve pity and _God knows that._

Where— _where was he?_

Did he leave her?

* * *

 _Everything was too much._

The situation was too much. The hurt he felt when he saw the blank look in her hollow eyes was too much. _The wand_ was too much.

 _He wasn't sure he could keep up with this._

Sure, it had felt nice and _awesome_ when he grabbed the blade. Magic had run through his veins and he had felt _powerful_ , far more powerful than he had _ever_ felt in his entire life. And the way it melt into something he was so familiar with instead of, well, _a wand_ , only made him fall in love with the feeling faster.

But the sheer amount of effort and willpower it took to wield the blade is _absolutely crushing._

Add another one to his lists of things he wasn't sure how she did it.

He walked around the castle while waiting for her family members to check on her. When they had asked him to stay outside he had been _mortified_ and a bit indignant, but immediately retreated when they said this is a family affair. He wasn't one to eavesdrop on her personal matters, either, so wandering it is. Especially after her father granted him permission to, saying that it is probably a good thing for his daughter's best friend to learn a bit about her upbringing. There was something strangely hostile in the man's voice, but he laughed it off before Marco could figure out what was that, even if his laughter was a bit wary.

To be honest, her home was… _fascinating_ , to say the least. They have all kinds of entrances here; from thick golden gates to tiny, almost invisible hatches, all led to places even crazier than her tower back on Earth. He hadn't dared to open too many doors, but one in particular caught his eyes.

"The Queens' Hall? _Plural?_ " he gawked at the unusual words embroidered on an elaborate sign, the Royal Emblem bloomed at the corners. The double doors were large, wooden and carved with the four suits of playing cards. _Weird._

He tentatively stepped up and they creaked, wide for his entrance.

—Okay…?

" _Woah—_ " Marco did a complete one-eighty turn and muttered under his breath in awe. "This is much larger than I thought." He could see statues and paintings hung on the sides, podiums and lanterns and crystals embedded in the circular brick wall. It definitely had the suits theme in mind, since the bottom glass panes were decorated with hearts, diamonds, clubs and spades.

He took a few steps and when he reached the middle, he noticed the dome. The same symbols decorated the ceiling, surrounding a larger, star-shaped hatch. Light shone down on him when the hatch slowly opened, and he stared at the paintings, which were getting clearer and clearer every passing minute.

Marco walked over to the first portrait of a gentle looking woman with a fan covering her face. He realized it was a tapestry when he could see the threads and marveled at the quality of this work; it is truly fit for a Queen. The one shown in this one was a fair woman, with long, pastel pink hair and purple eyes. Flowers weaved in her locks, unbloomed. She held a lavender fan with golden crescent moons, covering half of her face, and he could clearly see a wand behind it. The rose-shaped podium underneath him suddenly raised, glowing in a pinkish light, and he jumped off of it. He took a closer look at the words carved on the stone surface.

"Celena the Shy?" he mused to himself, "Maybe this is Star's grandmother?"

 _what hides behind the golden fan_

 _the hand does sweetly hold_

 _a trove of cosmic secrets_

 _that never will be told_

" _Secrets?_ " he frowned, "Was that why people were offering her so many things?"

Another podium, this one in the shape of a lightning bolt, surfaced under the tapestry of a fierce looking… _woman_ rocking a buzz cut. Her armor was awesome, and her—

Wait—is that a _light saber!?_

… _Damn_. He wished his sword could shrink like that. He scoffed in annoyance when the heavy blade scraped against his hip; they had given him some kind of harness to keep the wand in place while wielding it and it was _uncomfortable_. Sure, _it did the job_ , but the cold, sharp metal made him hiss every time it managed to get passed his hoodie, and the clanging sound is just _annoying_.

 _A castle stormed is a hero born,_

 _with might as strong as steel._

 _Kneels the void before her_

 _and the crushing force she wields_

"Solaria the Monster Carver," he pondered, impressed, "So this is where Star got her fighting spirit from."

The next one, a simple triangle but with smoke emitting from it rather ominously. He stared, wide eyed, as he was sure he saw the word _darkness_.

 _Eclipsa, Queen of Mewni_

 _to a Mewman King was wed,_

 _but took a monster for her love,_

 _and away from Mewni fled_

The former Queen was a woman dressed in a simplified Victorian era black dress, with a frilly white collar that had a purplish crescent moon in the middle. She had a _massive_ sunhat, also black with white feathers, and gray stockings that went up to her calf. Her wand was quite unusual; a creamy beige umbrella with a long handle, jewels embedded and a sinister looking orb with bat wings topped the velvety fabric. But the most disturbing thing about her were her eyes, sharp and malicious and a _dark, glowing_ magenta. Her cheeks were flashing spades in the same color as her eyes, and her lips were a shade darker, curled up in a smirk.

"Queen of _Darkness_? _Monster love_? _What the—_ "

Another one caught his attention. A plain circle that glimmered in the dim light like the Moon. He strutted over and read.

 _The immortal_

 _monster will long_

 _be haunted by the_

 _darkest spell of_

 _Moon the Undaunted_

On the tapestry was, unmistakably, Star's mother, in her youth and looking a lot like Star herself. Her silvery plated armour glinted in the distant moonlight, her gray eyes flickered a _dangerous_ fire. She was roaring a spell on the top of her lungs, the heart-shaped blue crystal wand pointed at a reptilian monster threateningly. The white hot _bursting_ beam of magic seemed to catch the creature off guard and severed his finger, shock and agonizing pain on his face, grim _determination_ on hers.

"Her mom fought _Toffee?_ " Marco's mouth fell agape at the sight of the battle, violent and merciless. The Queen easily defeated Toffee before, and Ludo _surely_ was no match for her, then why was she absolutely _crushed_ this time?

The clicking sound of wood fell against his ears and he turned his head to see an antique-looking loom, weaving another tapestry _thread by thread_. He could _faintly_ make out patterns of a blue narwhal and the tip of her dinosaur boots.

This was _her_ tapestry. Her _fate_ , her _prophecy_.

Part of him wanted to just sit there and watch the thing work its magic. If only to see if he would _somehow_ show up in the predictions of her life.

"Lord Marco?" a tentative voice called out and he jerked back, trying _not_ to seemed like he was caught red-handed doing something _illegal_ , "Please leave this room, _sir_ —non-royalties are not allowed in the Queens' Hall," the servant told him with a respectful bow, "King Butterfly desires an audience with you."

"Oh, _uh—_ Of course!" he stumbled out of the double doors, following the man, "Right behind you."

…When will he _stop_ making a fool of himself in front of other people?

* * *

"Marco," the King nodded to him, acknowledged his existence in the room. He did an awkward bow, fumbling around and trying to remember the two minute crash course she had given him when they came to Mewni for that Game of Flags.

"Your Majesty," he said, but the old man waved dismissively instead.

"River would be _fine_ , young man," he chuckled, "No need for formalities here when we've met before, eh?"

"Um, _yeah…?_ "

"Now now, don't be a stranger," he patted the boy on the back affectionately, "Have a seat and something sweet. Cookies? Pudding?"

"Thank you, sir, but no," he smiled, a bit uncomfortable. Something felt out of place. It's like—like the calm before the storm. Like Star's father would lash out at him any second now…

" _Good,_ " the King said, his tone suddenly hardened. He called it. "Now, _Marco_ ," he weaved his fingers together, his eyes bore down mercilessly on Marco, making him shivered despite himself. He could be intimidating when he wanted to. "Tell me, from _top to bottom_ , _exactly in details_ what happened. If you left out _anything_ , important or not…" he trailed, shooting him a meaningful look and he swallowed slightly, " _You know what would happen._ " Didn't need to tell him twice.

So he told him. Every single thing about how he managed to use Star's mirror to contact their more capable friends, how they planned the rescue and how that plan _backfired horribly_. Ludo's spine-chilling transformation, Toffee taking over and his declaration of _revenge_ , how the Queen was easily defeated along with _everyone else_. The effect that Lekmet's magic had on Star, or how it was _supposed_ to have on her but _did not_ , how she was unable to cast the spell. _Everything._

The King was eerily quiet the entire time, eating up his words and taking a _long_ time to digest them. He sat there thoughtfully while the Earth boy rambled on, trying desperately to fill the silence. He talked about how… _off_ his best friend had seemed over the past few months, even though he _probably_ shouldn't have; her father's gaze on him turned sharp and hateful for a split second before he returned to his usual mood.

"Oh, and sir?" he hastily added after River had stopped staring at him, "There's still something else. At the end, before I managed to get Star out of there, Toffee stopped us and he mentioned something about a _finger—_ " The King immediately straightened his back, serious all of a sudden, "He said that she has his finger and he's coming for it."

"A _finger_?" River demanded, alarmed, "This is not good."

" _Not_ good?" he inquired carefully, not wanting to upset the King of Mewni and getting executed. "Did you know _something_ about the Queen's darkest spell?"

"Know about it? I helped her _make_ it myself, son. Been by her side ever since the war started," he scoffed, but hesitated a _little_ , "But how do _you_ know about her spell?" he narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

…Oh _shit._

Marco opened his mouth to hastily make up a plausible excuse but a distant scream took his words away before they got the chance to crawl out of his throat.

"Your Majesty!" a guard urgently slammed the door open, shouting on top of his lungs despite the silence in the room, all rules and manners be damned and thrown out of the nearest window. " _The Princess—_ "

They were both on their feet in a matter of seconds.

" _My daughter?_ " the King shook the poor guard's shoulders with his powerful grip, "What's wrong with—"

" _Star!_ " Marco stormed out of the room and he ran, desperately searching every single door for the Infirmary. He passed by the painting of a dancing fairy and turned left out of instinct, his lungs heaving for breath. The heavy wand weighing his side down and making him lose his balance didn't help, either.

The word _Infirmary_ had _never_ looked better on a golden sign.

He yelled her name again as the room opened, revealing a clean looking setting with several plainly decorated beds. The walls were painted a nice light purple color with patterns of gold fleur-de-lis leaves.

The beds were empty and identical. All inhumanely hygienic and _disturbingly_ barren of life. All, except for one.

A small, secluded space at the end of the room. His stomach churned uncomfortably when he saw several nurses and maids fussing over the figure lying in the cotton sheets, curling up to herself. He expected heartbreaking _wailing_ , painstaking sobbing, or at least _softly crying_.

The _absolute silence_ made him uneasy. It was rubbing him the wrong way.

He parted the crowd of women and made his way to her, hands hesitantly petting her hair, trying to give her reassurance. Her face was buried in the pearly white pillow, her shoulders shivering. It was _quite_ cold here.

He gently pulled the soft comforters over her shaking body, and she clutched his hand.

"M— _Marco?_ " she called out, her voice muffled by the thick pillow but he could still hear the _desperate_ hope in it and his heart clenched painfully, "Is that you?"

" _Yes,_ " he smiled when her fingers lingered on his warm skin, " _Yes, Star_ , it's _me_. I'm here _with you_. There's _nothing_ to fear anymore."

" _Pumpkin!_ " the King charged into the room and everyone bowed, except for him and Star. She heard someone coming in and tensed, _alarmed_ , but he rubbed her palm reassuringly and she visibly relaxed.

"Darling, are you okay?" River brushed him aside to get to his daughter, his eyes filled with worry. "It's alright— _you're alright._ Daddy's _here_. Daddy won't let _anyone_ hurt you _ever again._ "

Nothing. She wouldn't even lift her head from the pillows.

 _What is happening?_

* * *

She woke up in a strange room. The darkness was _blissful_ as she clutched the pillow in her grasp, covering her face. It was bright; everything _was too bright_ , and it _hurt_.

She couldn't feel a thing.

She _couldn't feel a thing_ and it was _horrifying_.

The pain was the _only thing_ that was _real_.

She had called his name before her slumber, over and _over_ in her own isolation, hastily jerking away from hands that seemingly materialized out of nowhere, touching her. They were too _small_ , too _big_ , too _soft_ and too _calloused_ to be _his_. Despite her protests, they had worked on her body and changed her clothes, cleaned her up and dressed her in a soft, long dress, her eyes still stubbornly closed when they took the pillow away. She _refused_ to eat, she _refused_ to drink. She heard sighs of irritation, indignant huffs and pleas for her to just _let them do their jobs._

She _couldn't care less_ about their _damned_ jobs.

Eventually they got tired of her childish behaviour and just let her sleep instead.

When she awoke, he was nowhere to be found.

 _They were back again._ But this time, she didn't let them take away her pillow.

It _hurt_. Her eyes _hurt_. Her cheeks were _burning_. Even _breathing_ was painful.

They tried to coerce her into eating again, but she outright said no. She ground her face harder into her beloved pillow, thinking that suffocating _right now_ to escape their pursuit didn't sound so _bad_.

The hands immediately retreated when they realized what she was about to do.

But one pair _didn't_. Strong, _merciless_ fingers _ripped_ the puffy fabric from her face and it hurt. _Everything hurt._

They gasped in horror when they saw her.

"The King will have our heads!" one shouted in panic.

"God, _what happened to her!?_ She was _fine_ a few hours ago!" another exclaimed, _frightened_.

"Inform the King, _now!_ " they scuffled out of the room and ran, leaving only a few to take care of her.

She was confused. What exactly happened?

…But as long as they wouldn't touch her?

She found out that she didn't _care_ that much.

* * *

"Star?" he reached for her but she recoiled into her pillow again. Her safe haven. "Star, _please_. You _can't_ be comfortable like _that_."

She didn't say anything.

"Darling," her father said softly, "Please, can you _just—_ "

"Star," he murmured, "It's _alright_. Can you just— _let me check on you?_ I won't do _anything—_ I just want to make sure that _you're okay,_ " Her grip on the pillow loosened, and the King looked at him hopefully, "Just— _let me see your face_ , and I'll leave if you want to, _okay?_ "

" _Don't leave!_ " she hastily shook her head, and slowly let go of her pillow.

She raised her head.

River _gasped_.

He felt something _shattered_ inside him.

"Her— _Her_ _cheek marks—_ " the King said in disbelief.

 _They're gone._

* * *

The lights hurt. The pain was there; her eyes stinging and _burning_ and watering. Her lungs sucked in a greedy breath, and she felt like she might cry.

The shocked faces around her and the look of disbelief on her father's face _didn't help_ , either.

But his face was one of pity and sorrow, and she _did not_ like the look of it. _She didn't want pity_ ; especially _not_ from him.

Then her eyes landed on the sword he carried at his side.

 _Everything was shrouded in darkness… an endless void…_

 _A slash of the blade in the air and the sickening sound of ripped wind—_

 _Waves of green fire… burning… destroying…_

This—This wasn't _him._

She _flinched_ from his touch— _the monster's_ touch—and buried herself in the comforters.

"D— _Don't touch me!_ " she shrieked, and the look of hurt on his face was palpable. " _You're not Marco!_ "

"Wha— _What is she talking about?_ " her father demanded— _was he really_ River Butterfly? Or he's just another _illusion_ that the _monster_ who killed her _mother_ made up?

Call her paranoid, but she didn't believe _a single word_ they said.

She— _She couldn't trust anyone._

* * *

 **well that's that i know the scene in the Queens' Hall was boring but i promise it's necessary to the plot so bear with me here**


	7. too little too late

**HOLY SHIT I MADE IT Sorry for not updating on Saturday on schedule; like I said, it was my sister's wedding and I had to fly all the way back to Vietnam from Czech and I was insanely busy XD Anyway I have a rather long chapter written on the airplane in about five hours or so XD Enjoyy 3**

* * *

Every single able doctor in the entire dimension was called to the Mewman castle, _shoved_ through hastily ripped up portals with nothing more than a briefcase and their brain. The King had bellowed for all of them to come; whoever could heal the Princess would be _handsomely_ rewarded.

But _no one_ managed to even find out the cause of this catastrophic turn of events on the poor Star Butterfly, much less cure her from the strange anomaly. They all walked out of the Princess's quarters with a disappointed and apologetic look on their faces. It seemed like there would be no hope for her when no one succeeded.

Well, _almost_ no one.

King Butterfly managed to dig out an old bottle of perfume at the bottom of his w— _late_ wife's chest. The only creature left with insightful knowledge of magic. Their _only_ hope.

* * *

On the other side of the chaotic castle were two figures weeping softly.

 _Separately._

One shaking in fear and anger, the other one crying out of bitterness.

He reached for her, but she flinched away from his touch.

 _Had he lost her for good this time?_

"Star—"

" _Don't say my name!_ " she snarled, tears streaming down her face. "You don't _deserve_ it after you killed my mother!" The empty space where her rosy marks used to be _pained_ him. It tugged at his guilty conscience, at his memories of her smile, filled with joyous tenderness, at the way his heart would _flutter_ every time she passed him a look that speaks of _nothing but_ support and devotion.

 _He—_

He didn't know what to do.

* * *

"Baby!" River cried when the ominous black mist cleared, revealing a pale green, cat-like creature hovering in the air with its yellow insect wings, "Please— _please save my daughter—_ "

" _What is it_ , King Butterfly?" the faery shot him a disdainful look, "And where is the Queen?"

" _She—_ " he choked up, "She's gone."

Her face hardened immediately. " _What do you mean_ she's gone?" she flew right next to his face, the tiniest glimmer of a threat in her tone, as if she was _daring_ him to say something other than _that was a stupid joke_ , and apologize to her with food and sweets.

"I mean she's _lost_. Presumably _dea—_ " he tried to suppress the hiccups building up in his throat but the act didn't get past Baby. "Dead." he tried again.

" _The Queen is dead?_ " she murmured in shock and disbelief. It _can't be—_ there has _never_ been a murdered Queen of Mewni before. What could _possibly_ be powerful enough to defeat the only one in the _entire dimension_ \- might even be in the entire _universe_ \- who could harness magic _without_ a wand?

… _Someone who could absorb magic itself._

"This is bad," she paced around on the ground, too agitated to fly, "This is _very_ bad."

" _I know that—_ " he scoffed, but one look from Baby shut him up, " _Look_ , you have to save my daughter first—"

"The _Princess?_ " she turned around sharply, "What's wrong with her?"

"Her cheek marks are gone," The look of utter shock on her face would've made him laugh if the situation wasn't so dire. "And…so is her magic."

" _Where is she?_ " the faery demanded, "I need to see her."

"She's in her room. I just moved her there from the Infirmary. Marco is there with her, even though she's not too happy with it." he turned away from Baby, uncomfortable with the look she was giving him, "She seemed to be convinced that he is Toffee."

" _Toffee?_ " she gasped, " _Toffee's back?_ "

He wanted to confirm her suspicions but before he could, she stormed out of the room in a furious cloudy mist, promising of destruction.

* * *

"Your Majesty," a guard walked into the nearly empty throne room, "We have the location of the Temple of Monsters. Would you like to—"

"Prepare the artillery," the dark, griefing figure ordered, "We will find my wife."

"Yes, my King." he retreated and carried out his master's order. In less than half an hour, the entire Mewman infantry and cavalry were ready. Flags and weapons gleamed in the light of the dying sun, all heading towards the Forest of Certain Death. Hundreds of soldiers were prepared, eager to save their beloved Queen.

King Butterfly stood on top of a cliff with his warnicorn and some of his most loyal knights, all shining armor and grim faces.

"Gentlemen!" he bellowed, "Today, _we will fight!_ In the name of the Queen—for my wife! We will face the monster and _finish_ him _once and for all!_ We won the war against them many years ago; we will _do it again!_ Let the almighty Mewmans _triumph_ over the immortal monster once more and we _will_ bring the Queen _home_ in _glorious victory!_ " A roar of approval exploded from the bloodthirsty army, sounds of weapons banging on shields echoed across the battlefield.

He roweled for his horse to go _faster_ , diving head first into the murky depths of the roofed forest. The sunset lit everything in a blood red light as the Mewman soldiers followed their fearless King, a curtain of dust flew behind them, slowly settling as the cavalry passed the dirty path that led to the dangerous Temple of Monsters, at the very end of the Forest of Certain Death.

* * *

" _Outrageous!_ " the Duke slammed the table, startling the King and other members of the Royal Family, "Who does this monster _think_ it is!?"

"Heartrude," his mother chided, "Don't be impolite, son. We are at the King's presence, you foolish child."

"It's alright," River waved dismissively, "If I were him I would've lost my temper, too."

" _You_ are a _Johansen_ , your Majesty," she scrunched her nose disdainfully, didn't even bother to hide her disgust when she said the name, "Unlike you, my son is a _Butterfly_ ; he has _no excuse_ for improper manners."

River thought for sure he heard the sarcasm in her tone, but at last decided to let it pass. It's no time for a civil war, now.

"Brother," a Johansen said, "Would you mind telling us how did you find the note again? Cousin Nortan didn't get it the first time," he scoffed at a smaller, more withdrawn man sitting at the edge of the gigantic dining table.

"Of course," the King stood up from his chair and pulled out a crumpled, tiny piece of parchment from his pocket. The thing was torn at the edges, its scrambled handwriting barely visible, "Me and the Mewman army stormed the Temple, all prepared for a fight at best and death at worst. But we found _nothing_.

"The entire stronghold was wrecked and abandoned. Possibly courtesy of my wife; she was an _amazing_ warrior, that woman." he smiled to himself, "We expected to find her body somewhere or even face _Toffee himself_ to get her back. But _nothing_ was there. No signs of life. No magic. _Nothing_.

"All we found was an _empty_ replica of the Magic Instruction Book," he gestured at the thing sitting on a seperate, smaller table, _frustrated_ , "and this note."

"It said, 'I will take care of your Queen. After all, it's not like I would do anything bad to her when we were _such good friends_ before'." A shocked gasp from Nortan, while everyone else only tried to hide their obvious rage for the sake of composure.

"Does this mean that the Queen is still alive?" a Butterfly asked eagerly.

"Uncle Comet," Heartrude cut him off immediately, "You _can't be serious._ Since when can we trust the words that came out of a cold-blooded, mindless monster? _Unfortunately_ , the Queen is dead."

"That's _not_ for you to say, Cousin," River warned, "She is alive until we find evidence that proves her dead."

" _With all due respect,_ my _King_ ," he snarled, "the Queen _couldn't_ be alive. You've seen the wreckage. You've seen what that monster did to the Magic High Commission." he smirked, seeing how the assembly was starting to look wary. Looks were exchanged and it tipped the scale towards him, "You've seen _the Princess_."

" _Leave my daughter out of this!_ " he hissed, "It's _not_ her fault you're an anti-monster and a megalomaniac."

"Oh? _I'm_ an anti-monster?" he chuckled slightly—this _idiot_ King was playing right into his hands, "Then what does that make _you_ , _your Majesty?_ "

River was no able monarch without Moon.

"That's _enough_ ," a stern looking old lady said. Her husband, apparently, agreed. "This is not a debate about sympathy for monsterkind, Heartrude."

"Aunt Venusa!" he cried—he was _so close_ , "I wasn't _debating_ anything; I was just trying to make a point—"

"About _what_?" Venusa interrupted. This nephew of hers was _too_ power hungry. No thanks to his mother. "You dare question the King's alliance?"

The young Butterfly man paled slightly when the entire assembly stared at him. His aunt knew what she was doing. She raised an eyebrow, _daring_ him to say yes. Heartrude wasn't one to back down from a challenge, but he knew how to pick his fights.

"Of course _not_ ," he said indignantly, "Are _you_ questioning _my_ loyalty to _my King?_ " he quipped, and the old lady just laughed.

"Why _yes, dear_." she blinked innocently, "Your attitude towards my niece's husband did _not_ _exactly_ scream 'I support my King unconditionally and pledge my loyalty in front of the sacred Hall of Queens', _sweet nephew_."

Sarcasm has always ran in the Butterfly family. And that woman was straight up _savage._

Heartrude deflated back to his seat when he realized there was _no way_ he could beat Aunt Venusa; she has that kind of reputation you just couldn't top off, even if she's almost seventy. People were snickering; Johansen and Butterfly alike. Venusa could _ruin your life_ in a sentence or two.

But the look of disappointment on his mother's face egged him to continue with his plan.

"All matters _aside,_ " he began again, ignoring roughly thirty pairs of rolled eyes, "our Kingdom still needs a ruler. With the dangers and the possibility of a monster revolution, we need _someone_ who could guide us to battle if the situation calls for it."

"King Butterfly is our _ruler—_ "

"I _knew_ you would say that, Uncle Meteore," he chuckled at Venusa's husband. Unlike his wife, Meteore wasn't the sharpest tool in the box, "But I meant a _magical_ ruler. _Someone_ who could wield the Royal Magic Wand. _Unfortunately_ , our King is a Johansen. And they do not possess magic like us Butterfly."

"So the _Princess_ could—" Venusa argued.

"Unfortunately, dearest aunt," he declared with menace, "The Princess had lost her magic."

A collective gasp from everyone and _oh,_ victory tastes so _sweet_ to him.

" _Lost her magic!?_ " Comet inquired, " _What do you mean?_ "

"Her cheek marks are _gone_." he finally revealed.

" _What?_ " A Butterfly exclaimed.

" _How?_ " Nortan shrieked.

"What are _we going to do?_ " Someone shouted.

"Where's the Wand then!?"

"The Wand is under possession of an _Earth boy_ ," Heartrude snarled, "He's the Princess's _alleged_ _best friend_ , though we've all seen the last part of her ballad on Song Day, _haven't we?_ "

"An _Earth boy?_ Someone _magicless?_ " A fake shocked gasp escaped from his mother's mouth and he knew their plan was in motion. " _Outrageous!_ The Wand _cannot_ be stained like that; in the hands of a foul creature!"

"I'll have you know Marco is a completely _capable_ man!" River growled, his face crimson with fury, "He had _risked his life_ _many times_ to save my daughter. Without him, she wouldn't even be here!"

"So the Princess was so _useless_ she had to take an _Earth male_ for her protector?" Heartrude's mother raised an eyebrow, her voice venomous and the King's brothers had to hold him back from _beating up_ the old woman, "That is not the spirit of a true future Queen of Mewni, if I do say so myself."

" _Do not_ insult my daughter!" he snarled like a beast, "Her affinity for magic can leave your _shitty_ spells in the dust so why don't you _pull your head out of your ass_ and _think_ for a moment if you _dare_ have the guts to _ridicule her?_ "

"Watch your words, you _barbaric_ _Johansen spawn!_ " she spat in rage, "I am a _Butterfly_ ; you _will_ _not_ speak to me like that!"

"Control yourself, Etheria," Venusa interrupted, "You too, River," she turned to the King with a look of disapproval in her eyes, "This is a Royal Family assembly, _not_ a market argument. _Mind your manners._ "

"Yes, Aunt Venusa." he said, looking away.

"Yes, Sister." Etheria grumbled under her breath.

"Good. Now, the assembly is dissolved. I need to see my grandniece." Venusa walked out of the room and towards the Princess's towers. River stared Heartrude and his mother down before leaving the hall, following his wife's aunt and her husband.

" _Mother—_ " Heartrude started once everyone had left the room, "How are we going to—"

"Do not worry, son," Etheria smirked, one hand absentmindedly fixing the green curls of her hair, "The throne and the Wand will eventually belong to you. _You_ are its rightful owner, after all; the Princess is irresponsible, incapable, impulsive and now, she had even _managed_ to lose her magic, the only thing that makes her a Butterfly!" she giggled quietly, the sound made Heartrude's spine chilled despite himself, "Getting rid of that _messed up useless pile of meat_ should be _easy_."

"All we need is someone to remove her from the picture _once and for all_ , and the Royal Family will have no reason to not agree for _you_ to be the next ruler of Mewni."

* * *

The Princess's bedroom was crammed with people, but for some reason it felt _empty_ to them all. Dull, even with the curtains wide open to catch the last few drops of sunlight. Desolated, even with so many souls standing at attention.

Hollow. Empty. Dismal.

 _Like a room full of people waiting for her to die._

"Baby—" River croaked silently in the bleary chamber, " _My_ _Pumpkin—_ "

"Shh," the faery shushed, "Let her sleep. I found out the cause."

"You— _you did?_ " Marco whispered on the other side of her bed, too emotional to say anything else. He looked down at her by his side, as _beautiful_ as a fallen angel. She was dozing soundly amidst the comforters, trembling slightly every time a breeze hit her bare shoulders. She had cried herself to sleep again, tears stained her pillow, soft hiccups escaping her throat every now and then.

He could already feel salty droplets falling down his own face.

"What is it?" Aunt Venusa asked gingerly, "What had been torturing her like this?"

" _Well,_ " Baby explained, "When Chancellor Lekmet used his magic to revive her from her comatose state, he was risking his life as well. _Normally_ it would be enough to _completely_ resurrect her. _But…_ " she hesitated.

"But _what?_ " the King groaned, clearly impatient.

"But it _wasn't_ enough." she hung her head, "His magic _barely_ managed to renovate her physical body and consciousness. Her _extremely high_ affinity for magic was beyond his predictions, so even with Lekmet sacrificing himself, it _wasn't enough_. Her magic was not awoken appropriately.

"And reviving creatures of magic like us is a risky thing. You have to make sure our magic is _also_ roused at the same time. If not, and _only_ our physical form was saved, then, _well…_

"The consequences are… _unimaginable_."

The entire room was speechless.

" _How—_ " the faery choked a little, breaking the stuffing silence, "How long had she been like this?"

Her large, _hateful_ green eyes landed on Marco and he _flinched_.

" _What?_ Been like _what?_ " the King followed Baby's gaze and stared at him, " _Marco?_ "

"Depressed," she spat at the Earth boy, "Torn apart. Self conflicted. Heartbroken. _You name it._ "

"W— _What?_ " River tried to look at his shameful eyes, but he couldn't stand to see her father's face after he had known just how much of a _disaster_ Marco was to Star.

He was expecting instant death, or _at least_ a price to pay for breaking the Princess's heart. _Instead_ , the King just turned his back to him, focusing on Baby instead.

And the hurt in her father's eyes broke his heart _more than it should have._

"What— _What is going to happen to my poor daughter?_ " River let out a sob, like he couldn't control himself anymore. Marco already broke down in a corner, crying his eyes out for his broken best friend.

"Unfortunately, River," the faery admitted, "we're _not sure_. _Nothing_ like this had _ever_ happened before. But with her strong and unstable magic trapped inside her _like that—_ " she faltered.

"It will _corrupt_ her, and eventually take over her consciousness."

* * *

She wouldn't let him touch her.

She wouldn't. She _couldn't._ She _wouldn't._

He— _this wasn't Marco_. This wasn't the _goofy_ , weird kid she treasures. Wasn't the mysterious stranger that night under the Blood Moon whom she was so _smitten_ with. Wasn't the _insanely hot_ thirty-year-old man she _drooled_ over just a few weeks ago.

This _wasn't_ her best friend, _wasn't_ the guy who went through so much with her, _wasn't_ her soulmate.

 _Wasn't the boy she fell in love with._

This was the _monster_ that _killed her mother._

The monster that _murdered her friends._

The monster that tried to kill _him_.

And now it was trying to disguise as the only person she had left? _The one thing that mattered the most to her?_

How _cruel_ could it be? Rub salt into her wounds then laugh at her twitching, dying form on the ground? Torture _him_ and make her _watch him suffer_ through the _wracking pain_ every single second left of her miserable life?

 _Face it, Butterfly,_ the voice spat in her head again, and it _hurt_. But the sounds rattling in her brain was relentless. _This is all your fault. If you tried harder your mother wouldn't have died. If you didn't fall in love with your nemesis she would've been able to kill the monster. How could you betray the person who gave you life to trail behind a soulless creature who didn't even love you?_ It snarled at her, and she was shaking her head profusely, trying to convince the hateful voice that it wasn't true. _You are disgusting, Star Butterfly. You should just stay incapacitated like this. At least then the people around you wouldn't have to vomit every time they see you_.

 _No, no,_ she begged in her mind, the splitting headache stopping her from saying much.

It's not my fault—it's not my fault…

 _You know it is, you sick monster lover._

No—

 _And now what? Are you just going to lay there like a whore and let the creature touch you? Let it feast on your pitiful love for him? Let it tear him apart just to spite you with your_ fucked up _, empty vessel of a soul?_

…No.

She wouldn't let it.

She wouldn't.

Even if she couldn't feel anything other than the pain.

* * *

She was crying the second she woke up from her fitful slumber filled with nightmares.

"Hey, _hey_ —" he whispered softly, his hot breath brushed against the back of her neck and she _shivered_ , "It's okay. _It's alright, Star_. I'm here."

He tried to touch the smooth skin on her shoulder but she jerked herself away from his fingers as if she just _suddenly_ woke up from a daze.

"D— _Don't come any closer!_ " she cried, "I know _you're not Marco_!"

"You're _nothing_ but a monster!" she laughed maniacally, "A _monster_ who wanted to kill him!"

She leaped off the bed on wobbly legs faster than he could comprehend and grabbed a sword from the rack of displayed weapons on the wall. " _I won't let you hurt him!_ " Her entire body shocked _violently_ as she swung the sword towards him, almost managed to _decapitate_ him before he rolled out of the way on instinct, dived behind her and grasped her wrist.

" _Star!_ " he hissed, twisting her hand until she dropped the weapon, " _Stop! You're hurting yourself!_ "

She let out a painful yelp and he _immediately_ let her go, staring down at his own hands as if he _couldn't believe_ he just did that.

 _What had he done?_

" _See?_ " she laughed bitterly, rubbing her wrist, "You _are_ a monster."

"I am _not!_ " he snapped. He had patience with her, but _this is too much_. He couldn't let her think that _he_ was the one who slaughtered her mother and all of their friends! He _couldn't—_

He couldn't let her think he was the one who _hurt_ her. The one made her like _this_.

He pulled her into his arms despite her cries. _Kissed_ her like there was no tomorrow.

She felt warm and soft against him. _Secure_ and _tender_ and something utterly _home._

He poured all the pain, the heartache, the _grief_ he felt over the last two days into that kiss.

He tasted her sorrow, her misery, how completely _broken_ she was.

Tasted the saltiness of her tears, the _bitterness_ of her soul, the _tiniest_ hints of sweetness left in her _shattered_ but still pure heart.

She _struggled_ against him, but he held onto her tight.

 _He was not going to lose her again._

* * *

They sat down on the cold wooden floor, weeping silently.

 _Together._

She was in his arms.

Shaking and trembling like a fragile little thing, but _she was in his arms._

She was still crying.

 _We spiralled high,_ he sang softly by her ear, his voice cracked and shaky,

 _On a gust of love_ …

She stilled.

 _And I knew right from the start,_ his arms tightened around her and she leaned into his touch just a bit, _Nothing could tear us apart._

There was a choking moment of emotions and she tensed again.

 _Till the day you broke my heart,_ she hung her head down and gently peeled his frigid fingers from her hot, fevered skin, _And now it's—_

 _Too little too late._

* * *

 ** _yayy they made up... i guess?_**

 ** _well there's some drama going on XD i knew heartrude was going to be a complete asshole the second i finished 'game of flags' :o_**

 ** _so now u know what happened to star dont hate me plz ahaha kidding u can hate me all u want and i'll just keep writing more angst_**


	8. asylum (april fools Skip4NoHeartAttack)

**Hey guys =)) Sorry for not updating last week, gods I was busy af. I need to make up the schoolwork for the one week I had taken off, I hardly had any time to write :/ Anyway, here's a rather short update (sorry) but I'll try to make the next update as soon as possible. Thanks and as usual, enjoyyy ;)**

 **i didn't really want to spoil it but after seeing someone being triggered i had to. i'm sorry for not thinking of this sooner omfg**

 **Warning: This could trigger you. Proceed with care.**

* * *

He woke up in the morning to a cold, _chilling_ sensation.

The other side of the bed was empty.

Something was seriously wrong.

 _Where is she?_

* * *

She—She _couldn't_ do this.

Not with him still lingering in the back of her mind.

But she has to… _she has to—_

He—He wasn't _safe_. She wasn't herself. She was only _hurting_ him.

Looking at the peacefully slumbering figure on her bed made her heart clenched painfully.

But her veins were filled with _determination_.

 _It's for the best_ , isn't it?

She has to… _she has to—_

She ignored the splitting headache and the thudding of her empty soul. She ignored the _wracking_ pain, the _numbness_ after, the dirty _regret_ and guilt _devouring_ her whole.

She _ignored everything._

She—She just has to—

Just a _little more_ courage…

She could do this… _she could do this…_

Dipping down has never been this hard or agonizing before.

 _But she did it._

And in a flash of black, scorching magic, she managed to open the seal her mother cast on the dimension itself, burning away what was left of the luminous sky-blue butterfly, along with the rest of her shattered heart filled with nothing but _pain_ , inky magic and a boundless love for him.

Star Butterfly disappeared from the world in a curtain of mist, as if all the tears she had shed came back to haunt her last moment alive.

…But he was safe, and he could return to where he belongs now.

 _And that was all that mattered to her._

* * *

His head whipped side to side, but he saw _nothing_.

Nothing but the dimly lit room, brimming with the scent of grief and something that was utterly _her_.

Nothing but the pang of sudden, unbearable misery, like his heart was _crushed_ into a million pieces.

Nothing but—

A note on the side table, along with…

 _—His scissors?_

What's going on?

His eyes quickly skirted on the shaky handwriting, trying to make sense of this situation. What is this—

'Marco,'

'If you're reading this, then that meant I succeeded and didn't come back to throw the note away. It also meant that I'm long dead, haha,'

 _What?_

'I knew that dipping down even though my magic is unstable is extremely dangerous, but I thought if I try hard enough, then I'll be able to break the barrier my mother set on this dimension. And I did it! I gave you back your scissors; you can go home now! Be happy with Jackie and your family, okay? Don't make them worry about you too much, Wild Man,'

A tear left the corner of his left eye and landed on the thin, fragile paper. He was speechless at the reality of what happened slowly sunk into his trembling soul.

'They love you so much, you know. And so do I.'

'Don't cry, okay? Smile. Smile for me. I love your smile so much. Almost as much as your eyes.'

'I know that I have denied it so many times - the fact that I have a crush on you. But I think that denying it is the right thing to do, because I don't have a crush on you, dummy,'

'I love you. I have loved you since the day I met you, but surprisingly enough, I didn't recognise my own feelings until the fight we had with Toffee a few months ago. You were prepared to fight for me, like you always do, but I have been taking it for granted all along. I'm sorry, Marco.'

'I'm sorry for not saying a proper goodbye, give you a tight hug or kiss you like I've always wanted to, but if you were awake you surely would've stopped me. I know you. But I need you to be alive and safe, Marco. I don't want to hurt you anymore.'

'If there is anything I could do for you after all the times you have risked your life for me, then letting you go home at the price of my life would be worth it.'

'I don't regret it. Not at all. So please, don't cry, okay? You can forget me; you can remember me, you can push me to a corner of your mind. As long as you're happy and free from harm, I don't really care about anything else. That's enough for me.'

'Just please, remember that even though I'm not here anymore, I will always love you. No matter what.'

'I love you, Marco Diaz. Have been and will always be yours.'

* * *

He tore apart the sky with his cry, _broken_ and _lonely_ and excruciatingly _painful_.

The sword by his side blazed with green fire, sizzling with his tears and hissing with his despair.

The castle was turned upside down by his hurried footsteps, his crazed frenzy, dangerous and unapproachable.

She couldn't—no, _no, she couldn't—_

She couldn't be dead! No, _no_ , _that can't be…_ She's probably hiding somewhere, playing a prank on him, thinking she's _hilarious_ —

"Come out, Star!" he pleaded to the walls, "This isn't _funny!_ You can end this joke now! _Please_ , just _come out!_ "

His staggering feet carried him to the Hall of Queens, still grave and dignified and devoid of any human presence.

He slammed the doors open, panting hard and sobbing hysterically, _heartbroken_. The eyes on the tapestries were _staring_ at him; _he knew it_ , they were all furious for it was _him_ who killed their last descendant. It was _him_ — _it was him…_

His gaze landed on the loom and he _crumbled_ to the floor, wailing in grief.

The old machine had stopped. The threads were all cut short, and the little parts that were finished started to unravel themselves.

The entire elaborate creation caught on fire right before his eyes and he _wept_ , like they did together last night.

When she was safe and in his arms and warm and _breathing—_

 _Why?_ Why didn't he hold her _closer?_ Wrap himself around her and _never let her go?_ Why, _God, why!?_

He could feel her ancestors' eyes on him…

The _sinner_. _The devil_. The _puny human_ who did _nothing_ but _destroy_ people's lives and _happiness_.

 _He did this to her—_

He did this.

* * *

They shoved him back to his dimension in shame, vowing to wage war on Earth and kill all of humankind. Her father _barely_ managed to stop the enraged royalties, saying that would not be what _she_ wanted; she loved that strangely magical world, after all.

He never met the boy's eyes anymore, like he couldn't stand looking at his daughter's murderer.

Marco walked back home, his feet faltering at his doorstep when his parents opened up and hugged him, their eyes filled with tears of absolute joy and relief.

Jackie kissed him passionately when she saw him, crying and smiling at the same time.

But _him?_ Everything he saw reminded him of her.

The couch, where they would have nachos and watch a dumb movie together every Friendship Thursday, snuggling under a _huge_ , fluffy blanket. She would always scoot closer to him, relishing in his warmth and comfort, and he would let her, his hands wandering to her long, golden locks, fingers unconsciously caressing, untangling the offending knots. _They would laugh every time._

The kitchen, where he impressed her for the first time with his culinary skills, and they would have breakfast together every morning. She would always try to steal his favorite cereal. He would swat her hands away playfully and _plastered_ the box with sticky notes, warning her not to ever touch it and _of course_ , she didn't care. _But they would still laugh every time._

The stairs, where he pulled her hand with him upstairs, she was _screaming_ and he _didn't know what to do—_

He closed his eyes when the painful memories came back _crashing_ , threatening to collapse him again. _He couldn't afford to have another breakdown._ Not in front of his already worried parents.

Only when he was safe under the cover of darkness he let himself cry again, muffled by his pillow, his fingers clenching at the sheets.

Felt pain. Longing. Guilt and hollowed inside.

Mourning for what could've been.

She could've been in his embrace, laughing joyously, happy and peaceful.

He could've nuzzled her neck, perched on top of her head, kissing her for the rest of eternity.

They could've been together. Could've been a reality, could've been love, could've been more than a broken-down déjà vu.

She could've been alive.

* * *

It's been a year and he'd stopped trying to bring her back.

He would see a blonde girl on the street from the passing school bus and for half a choking moment, Marco could've sworn that it was her.

Then he realized the girl's hair wasn't as long as hers used to be.

Then he would lock himself inside his room, mourning quietly, staring blankly at a wall, praying for her to come back even though he knew it was impossible.

She ruined everything.

Always there, by his side in the hazy glowing dawn until he opened his eyes.

Always there, behind his back, prepared to startle him for fun until he turned around.

Always there, in his dreams, laughing and cheerful and loving until the harsh rays of sunshine woke him up.

She made everyone else seemed dull, flat, tasteless and never good enough.

Star ruined everything.

Star, gone.

He'd stopped trying to bring her back.

* * *

 **why would i do this to you, right? well...**

 **APRIL FOOLS AHAHA I AM EVIL**

 **i'll update the real chapter tomorrow lmaoo**


	9. perilous

**okay guys here we go XD lol i got u all on the april fools thing didn't i :D anyway here's the real chapter UPDATED TOMORROW (AKA 2/4) LIKE I SAID so enjoyyy :))**

* * *

She woke up in his arms the next morning.

Aching and _sore as all hell_ but strangely peaceful.

She… she liked this.

She _missed_ this.

 _God_ , what happened between them in the last few months?

* * *

"Princess," a maid spoke up, and she instinctively curled up further into him, " _Please_ , it's morning, and you need to clean up—" the girl sighed when she hid her face in the crook of his neck and shook her head profusely, "Your Highness, _please_ , can you _just—_ "

" _Um_ ," he said, and she could feel the gratifying vibrations of his throat against her forehead. _Was he awake?_ "Maybe you could leave her be a little while? She hadn't had a good night sleep in a long time until last night."

"Pardon me for asking," the maid raised one of her eyebrows, "but how would _you_ know, _Lord Marco?_ "

The shade of crimson red on his face was so _delicious_ she could _lick it off his cheeks._

"I—" he stuttered, "I've been taking care of her…?"

" _Right,_ " the girl narrowed her eyes suspiciously, " _Taking_ _care._ "

"Leave us—" she murmured, hugging him even closer to her.

"…Of course, Your Highness."

The doors closed and she _sighed in relief._

He pressed her head closer to his chest subconsciously and let out a shuddering breath.

… _God, she missed this._

* * *

"Your Majesty, the Princess—"

" _What's with her?_ " River turned over to the guard, "I have Marco taking care of her already, haven't I?"

"Yes, of course, but that's the problem, Sir," the man fidgeted with his sleeves, clearly conflicted between telling his master the troubling situation and the fear of being decapitated immediately, "Paula—"

" _Paula?_ " the King interrupted, "Who's Paula?"

"She's the maid assigned to help Princess Star Butterfly prepare for her morning rituals and breakfast, Sir," A girl standing quietly in the corner curtseyed when they said her name, "and she found her Highness—um, _cuddling_ , _only for lack of a better word, Sir_ —with Lord Marco Diaz. _On the floor."_

"…Let them be," he smiled, "They both deserved this."

" _But Sir,_ a Princess such as herself should _never_ show public displays of affection like this!" Paula protested, "She is a _Butterfly_ —the most _noble_ and _reserved_ —she will be our _Queen!_ What will her future groom say about this outrageous display?"

" _Shut your mouth, Paula!_ " the King growled, making her immediately fall to her knees, "Remember your place—you're only a lowlife maid in the castle! It's not _your_ place to say how I _should_ or _should not_ be raising my child!" he glared at her and she hung her head, shaking in fear and anger, "Now g _et out of my sight!_ "

"—Yes, Your Majesty," she fumbled to the exit, tripping over herself and making a show of being apologetic. As soon as she's behind the column, however…

"Paula, _my dear,_ " a man laughed in the shadows of thick, burgundy curtains, "You never seize to amaze me, you know."

" _My Lord!_ " she smiled gratefully, moving in to give the figure a passionate kiss, "I was not aware that you would be here this early in the morning."

" _Mhm,_ " he hummed, her bottom lip still in between his teeth, "I like to be _unexpected_." His arms circled her waist and she laughed joyously, trying her best to keep her voice down, "So, anything new for me?"

"Of course, Sir." she said and he kissed her again. "Now _that's a good girl,_ " he purred and Paula _shivered_ under his hot breath, " _Sweetheart_ , tell me; I don't have much patience."

"The Princess is _smitten_ with that magicless boy, you know," she smiled, her face hid in the crook of his neck, "I do not exactly know what they did last night after I left, but this morning when I came in they were tangled on the floor and looking _unbelievably_ disheveled. Her Highness was curled up into the boy and they were still _blushing_ like crazy," she giggled when he smirked devilishly, "This could _easily_ be blown up to a major scandal, love."

"To _disgrace_ her," he kissed the top of her head, satisfaction evident in his tone, "And we'll see if Aunt Venusa could still protect that _defiled worthless_ girl anymore!" the man laughed maniacally, "That is a wonderfully _brilliant_ idea, my love."

"I am flattered, Lord Heartrude," she curtseyed mockingly, "All thanks to your grace."

He smiled and in the dim light, he looked like a dangerous man.

"It's time to abdicate the throne, _Star Butterfly._ "

* * *

His day started _much later_ than he would've preferred.

But being here, with her in his arms, looking so calm and relaxed?

Well, he could get used to this.

…But he really needed a toilet _right about now._

"Star? Star…" he called her name and felt her squeeze his midriff harder. He _sucked in a breath_ , panting slightly, "Hey, can you let me go?" she whined and he quickly added, "Then you can go back to sleep for as long as you wanted, I _promise_."

"Don't leave—" she murmured. He smiled affectionately at her little pout, "I don't want you to go…"

"I know, I know," Marco let his fingers danced along her tangled hair and he _swore_ she _purred_ , somehow, "But I _really_ need to use the bathroom, Star,"

"Hmm, _fine_." she loosened her grip and he took a deep breath _gratefully_ after nearly twelve hours of being flattened into a pancake, "But only for a little bit, then you'll have to go back to me, or I'll go find you, o _kay?_ "

"O…kay…?" _What?_

He left _a bit faster_ than he would like to admit. Sure, he'd blame it on his bursting bladder, but he knew it himself that that wasn't the reason why he was so eager to get out of that place.

 _This…_

It's just— _It's just not her._

 _What is she doing?_

* * *

The door creaked quietly as he stepped inside the room. It was noon, bordering on 1 PM or so, but her bed was still smothered in darkness, blankets and pillows strewn everywhere. She had, _apparently_ , picked herself up from the floor and wrap the comforters around her shivering body like a cocoon, and he watched in awe, bewildered at how _impossibly_ _cute_ she was like that.

Looking around, he realized that this tower wasn't so different from her room on Earth. He could see a closet, a canopy bed, an _entire fortress_ of stuffed animals in a corner, a set of spiral stairs leading up to a balcony on the second floor, and a—

A mirror.

He briefly wondered if he could call his parents… Just so they wouldn't worry about him, of course.

But what about her…

Ah, _screw it._

* * *

"—M— _Marco?_ " his mother uttered, her fingers on her lips, shaking, "Is that really you, _mijo?_ "

"It _is_ him!" Rafael cried, jumping in front of his wife for a hug then jerked back as if he suddenly remembered this was a mirror. " _Son_ , we thought you were _dead—_ "

"Dad, I can't talk for long, but I'm fine," he smiled reluctantly, his voice small. He didn't want to wake her up after all, "I'm in Mewni, but the bad news is I'm going to be stuck here for awhile."

" _Stuck?_ " Angie demanded, " _What do you mean,_ stuck? Didn't Star has those scissors that you guys always use to go to another dimension or something?"

"Mom, this dimension is on a lock down— _Don't panic_!" he said quickly when his parents _paled_ , "I'm going to be fine, okay? _It's just_ —I—I'll be back soon, so _please_ , don't worry about me," His father still looked like he was going to protest— _after all,_ they did lead an entire army of Mewman soldiers to rescue him and Star when they got sucked into the Toffee situation—but his mother placed a hand gingerly on her husband's shoulder and gently shook her head.

"Honey, he'll be _fine,_ " Angie said, giving Rafael an encouraging smile, "Star is there with him. She _might not_ be able to keep him out of _trouble—_ " she shot her son a meaningful look and he snorted a little, "—but we can trust that she'll keep him _safe_ no matter what kind of disaster they are in at the moment."

His mother's words made him realize the most _obvious_ fact in the _entire goddamn_ world.

… _How could he have been so blind?_

She—She had _always_ been there for him. She sacrificed her wand, risked her life, protected him from any mortal danger he might be in.

She neglected her own feelings and problems in favor of his puny little crush and reassurance of an illusional carefree life, and that was the reason why she was so _broken_ and _vulnerable_ now.

And what did _he_ do?

He—He _failed_ her.

 _This was all his fault._

" _Marco! Are you okay?_ " A familiar, worried voice tore him away from the chasm of despair and he looked up.

Short, soft blonde hair, the blue streak, those mesmerizing mint eyes…

 _Jackie._

" _Baby,_ are you _hurt?_ " she panicked, fidgeting in her spot to try to examine him as much as possible, "Did Star do this to you? _I mean_ , I know she would _never_ _intentionally_ hurt you, but her magic isn't exactly under her control, _is it?_ Are you okay? _When_ will you be able to come home? _God_ , I just want you to be safe, _please—_ "

"Whoa, Jackie, _sweetheart_ , calm down," he smiled reassuringly, and she _finally_ took a breath, "I'm fine—I'm okay. No need to worry about me—"

" _Marco Diaz_!" she shouted suddenly and he could see Star stirring at the edge of his vision, " _How could you_ leave like that?" Jackie whisper-yelled at him, "One minute and you're _gone!_ _Nothing_ but a text to me and a note for your parents! You haven't come back home for _almost twenty-four hours, for God's sake; what were you thinking!?_ "

"It's—" he stuttered, unsure of how could he possibly explain this to his fuming girlfriend. _Oh, I ran away from home to follow my best friend to another dimension, got locked in, can't go home and by the way, last night I cuddled with her to sleep and you could still see her tangled in the sheets behind me and God no please don't look oh fuck—_ didn't exactly seem like an acceptable answer, let alone a good one. So of course, being the _absolute dumbass_ he is, Marco went with the classic— "It's a long story."

… _Seriously_ Diaz?

 _Fuck_. She looked skeptical.

He probably should've expected this when he chose that answer.

" _Baby,_ " he sighed, one hand running absentmindedly through his messy hair and he caught her gaze following his combing fingers, " _I_ —I love you. I _really_ do. But I need to— _want to_ be there for Star. She's my best friend and she's going through some really _horrible_ shit right now, and I can't leave her. Besides, the _entire_ dimension is on a lock down—there's _nothing_ I can do anyway." Jackie stared at him and looked away when he tried to explain, her eyes wary and hesitant and full of doubt.

"Please, _wait for me,_ " he told her tenderly, "I'll be back with you as soon as possible, okay? _Trust me_."

A moment of silence and she quietly wiped the corner of her eye.

"Alright," she smiled, not as warm as usual but there was still affection evident in those green orbs, " _I trust you_."

"Thank you," he smiled back. She was _such an amazing girl_ —what did he do to _deserve her—_

"And _babe?_ " He perked up slightly, his hands halted from closing the curtains and end the call, "Just—remember that I _do_ love you, okay?"

He could feel the shit-eating grin on his face form before he could stop it, "I love you too, Jackie."

They parted with more words of utter affection and promises of always being there for each other.

He hadn't been this happy and giddy since, well, _forever_.

Little did he know, someone was hiding in the shadows the entire time, waiting for him to bare all of his secrets to her.

* * *

"You'd _better_ have a good reason to call us all here, Heartrude," Venusa warned, her fan poised and ready on her hand. She swore to the gods she will _smack_ this damned nephew of hers if he _ever_ proposed to remove her grand-niece from the throne she has the birthright to inherit again. "I have a scheduled meeting with the royal hairdresser in half an hour, so _make it quick._ "

"Yes, Aunt Venusa. But as they say, patience is a virtue, _my Lady,_ " Heartrude cocked his head mockingly, leaving the old woman baffled and angry, "And _please_ , wait just another minute. I have invited _special guests_ to join us, after all."

"All hail the Princess Star Butterfly and her companion, Lord Marco Diaz!" An announcer claimed, his voice somehow even louder than the trumpets blaring across the room.

Venusa stared at him in horror, "You _wouldn't—_ "

"Oh, my _sweet Aunt,_ " said Heartrude, a smirk plastered on his face, " _I already did._ "

"Ladies and gentlemen, please return to your seats and settle," Manfred said, his face emotionless, "The meeting requested by Lord Heartrude Butterfly shall commence soon."

"Greetings, friends and family," he said, a confident smile on his face, "I do apologize for calling a meeting on such short notice, but as a concerned member of the Butterfly family, I have taken the responsibility of handling the situation we are in onto myself."

"As we all know, our kingdom, Mewni, is currently in a crisis. Our honorable Queen, and my _beloved cousin_ , had been murdered _brutally_ by the immortal monster she had, _undoubtedly_ , defeated years ago in her youth. And as of now, we are _lacking an efficient leader_."

"Heartrude, _give it a break_ already," Venusa interrupted, with several others nodding in agreement with her, "We have already talked about this; my grand-niece Star Butterfly is _perfectly capable_ of wielding magic—"

" _Aunt Venusa_ ," he cut her off mercilessly, his voice raised and ready to debate, "As much as I would like to believe that my niece would be a _sufficient_ replacement to the Queen, I _must_ voice my concerns about her ability to perform magic and _worse_ , her _lack_ of the most _basic_ Butterfly virtues and qualities," he looked at Star pointedly, her eyes wide and confused, her fingers gripping Marco's sleeves even tighter, "Take a look at our _supposedly_ future leader. She is not strong enough, not _powerful_ enough, not even _dignified enough_ to be a Queen!"

"Don't you _dare_ insult my daughter!" King Butterfly shook his clenched fists at the offending man, his eyes red and crazy, "She is much better than _you_ would ever be, you self-absorbed sicko!"

"Tsk, tsk," said Heartrude, "This isn't about comparing who's better than who, _my King_. As a man born into the Butterfly bloodline," he paused, and enjoyed the sight of River's veins popped from his forehead in absolute rage, "I cannot help but be _worried_ about the future of our dynasty! _Especially_ when our next ruler would rather _indulge herself_ in an amorous relationship with a _magicless_ boy than helping us overcome such a catastrophe and avenge her dead mother…"

" _Amorous relationship?_ " Venusa narrowed her eyes, "That is not a claim to be taken lightly, _nephew_. Do you have evidence for such an outrageous allegation?"

"I _do_ have a witness, my Lady," he said derisively, his nose up and his back straight, "Paula, _dear_ , would you mind?"

"Lady Venusa, it's an honor," the girl standing in a corner came out and curtseyed gracefully. Venusa, however, was _not_ impressed.

"A _witness_ is not enough," she countered sternly, "We all know how easy people are to buy."

"According to the Ancient Mewni Law, written by our virtuous first Queen, the words of a person is acceptable, _Venusa_ ," he snapped, "Paula, can you tell us what happened?"

"Of course, my Lord," the girl smiled slightly, and told the entire assembly what she saw. How Marco and Star had a fight the night before, how she saw them _kissing_ , how they fell asleep in each other's arms and wake up with tangled bare limbs. _Everything_.

All eyes were on the couple of friends sitting at the edge of the enormous table and they paled despite themselves.

"And, if I may add," Paula spoke up, "Lord Marco is already spoken for, your Highnesses."

" _Spoken for?_ " River demanded, " _What do you mean_ , spoken for?"

"He had a partner back in his dimension, my Lord," she said, "I witnessed them mirror calling each other when the Princess was asleep." Star stared at Marco, disbelief in her eyes but he _avoided_ them, "Sir, _I swear on my life_ that _everything_ I had just said was the truth and _the truth only._ "

"Do you deny this, _Marco Diaz?_ " Heartrude challenged, his eyes gleaming in victory when the Earth boy _hesitated_.

"I—I…" he stammered. He probably could've _lied_ and get out of trouble, but the way Star was _looking at him_ was—

It made him _guilty_.

" _Scandalous!_ " Etheria finally spoke up after remained in silence for so long, biding time and waiting for her opportunity to strike, "What a _disgrace_ to the Butterfly family!"

Unfortunately, the majority of Butterflies seemed to agree with her.

"This is _not_ a virtue of a Princess!" one barked.

"How could we let someone so _rebellious_ and _out of line_ lead us? She _burned the kingdom down_ the first day she received her wand!" another snarled hatefully.

"She _cannot_ be our ruler!" They started to chant, despite Venusa, her husband and River's attempt to calm the overreacting crowd, growing worse with each second passing.

" _Get her out of here_ before I lost them!" Venusa growled to the King, who nodded appreciatively at her and led the two teenagers running across the castle, dropping them off outside the tall, strong walls surrounding the palace.

"It's absolutely _out of control!_ " her father said, out of breath, "You need to leave this place, Star; it's _not_ _safe_ for you anymore. Find your friends and ask them for help. I know you have many people who would gladly lend you a hand or offer a shelter." He held her shoulders tightly, his eyes pleading. But she was quiet and shaking in his hands. "Heartrude wants you _dead_ , and he had spies and _assassins_ under his power. You _cannot_ trust _anyone_ , my dear."

"And _you_ ," he turned to Marco, who was panting harshly, his eyes cold and full of fury, "Mark this day, boy. She's all I have left. Keep her _safe_ or I will wage war on your _entire dimension_."

There was a loud crashing noise and the King left in hurried footsteps before Marco could properly register the death threat on his species.

They were left _alone_.

" _Star—_ " he started, but she turned on her heels and walked away.

"We've got to keep moving." she said, her voice devoid of any emotion. He kept his eyes on the ground and followed her, too _ashamed_ to say anything else. He felt as if he had disappointed her, betrayed her, _cheated_ on her.

But why was he feeling _guilty?_ He didn't do _anything_ wrong…

He knew that. _She_ knew that as well.

So _why?_

What was this feeling _gnawing_ at his guts?

* * *

She—she had _no reason_ _to—_

Jealousy… _burning, biting_ _jealousy…_

She can't—she didn't have the _rights—_

 _Why?_ Why couldn't he spare her the illusion of being _loved?_ Of having him _by her side_ even for just a fleeting moment, of _finally_ being _happy?_

Why did they have to remind her the crushing reality that _he wasn't hers_ and he would _never_ be hers!?

 _Why—_

All she ever wanted was to wake up in the morning next to him.

To be the reason he smiles… the reason he feels joyful glee…

To be _his_ , and him to be _hers—_

She had grown up getting everything she had ever wanted. Either they gave her what she demanded or she _worked_ for it with her life on the line.

But _why—_ no matter how _hard_ she tried—

 _She couldn't have him._

Not now, not ever.

Because she couldn't hurt him.

She _wouldn't—_ she _refused_ to—

It would've been _easy_ enough to cast a spell from Eclipsa's chapter on him to erase all of his _memories_ about his _girlfriend_ and then be there for him, _claiming_ his heart with her sincerity and vast, _unconditional_ love. She knew there _must_ be something like _that_ in the book.

But she _couldn't do it._ She couldn't do _that_ to him.

Manipulation would've been the _classic_ Butterfly approach to get what they want, but she _simply couldn't_ bring herself to do it. She was raised and groomed to be a future monarch; she knew _how_ , even if she wasn't too proud of it.

But looking at his warm, _kind_ smile and the way his eyes _gleam_ whenever he saw her, she _just—_

Couldn't.

Was this her punishment for being unable to do _whatever it takes_ to get her goal?

* * *

 _Interesting,_ thought a figure immersed in darkness, _Very interesting indeed._

 _These children are just being overdramatic. I solve my problem in a blink of an eye, and it was a piece of cake,_ she rolled her eyes, _But the fact that the girl's magic is—_ she stopped, watching the two of them even more closely.

 _Hmm,_ she hummed thoughtfully, _Such curious characteristics. I have never seen anything like this._

 _I ought to give her a visit. After all, it's rude to not introduce oneself to the subject of their study._

 _Should I help her? She seemed to be… struggling. Gods, the weight of all that magic must've been crushing. And her mind—sweet Queens of Mewni, she is beyond corrupted. My poor, poor child._

 _Then it has been decided._

 _Star Butterfly…_

* * *

 **wooo boi i wonder who's that ahihi**

 **btw i have a tumblr account if you have any questions or death threats :3 it's still 'jennylovesjordan', but there's a link to a new sideblog dedicated to this fic so i won't spam you with all of my other stuff XD**


	10. nothing to say

**hey guys :D Thank you all so much for 10,000 views! woohooooooooo**

 **so i've been thinking, and i decided to move the upload schedule to every Sunday, since i usually don't have time to write until friday night :/**

 **but hey, here's a chapter anyway XD**

 **again, i think i have to put this :/**

 **WARNING: CONTAINS CHARACTER DEATH**

 **yeah cause the last one didn't go over well with you guys XD**

* * *

The sound of armour clinging and screams demanding their capture shook him out of his daze. He shivered despite himself and picked up his pace, desperately following her footsteps.

He had forgotten how fast she could be.

"Star?" he tried again, but she said nothing, kept walking, ignoring him. It pained him for some reason; he had never minded her occasional rage but now, despite the absolute silence in place for the raised voices, it felt worse. Severe. Like something he wouldn't be able to fix.

He found himself asking _why_.

 _Why did he even put up with this?_ It's not like she's his girlfriend, his family, someone he had to listen to and please no matter what. She was a stranger in her essence, _nothing_ more than a girl he didn't know, didn't grow up with. He had only met her for a year; there's no reason for her to patronize him and his feelings, to haunt his dreams and nightmares, to be _involved_ in every single decision he made.

She was just a friend. _Nothing_ more than a friend.

So why was he even putting up with this? His life's in _danger_ ; his family _abandoned_ , the girl he loves _sidelined_ in order to please Star. Nothing stated that this was what he was supposed to do; stay by the Princess's side and be her little obedient Prince, protecting her and obeying her orders. He wasn't _that_. He wasn't _her Prince._

They walked side by side, him with his poisonous thoughts and her with her raging heart. Her strolls were getting longer and more powerful by the minute and despite himself, he was worried that she might wear _herself_ out. He could tell that the guards chasing them were close, and he knew that she could, too, for she broke out into a jog, keeping her pace steady for the long run. He was behind her in a matter of seconds.

She was heading towards a darkened patch of woods, with wild grass and the rotten scent of dead animals lingered by the ragged tree barks. He slowed down for a minute; his instinct _screaming_ at him to stay away from danger, but she was diving head first into the trees and _fuck it_ if he'd let her go _alone_.

" _Hurry up_ , Marco!" she told him, annoyed and he blinked in response, "They're _practically_ _right behind_ you!"

Then she ran, full speed, tearing through the Forest of Certain Death, her breathing heavy and uneven. He barely managed to keep up.

They descended even further, and Marco muttered a prayer under his breath to no one in particular, hoping that he'd be able to make it out alive.

* * *

"It's okay, we're safe," she said and turned over to roll her eyes at a panting, sweating Marco Diaz, "I think. Do you need a break?"

" _Yes please,_ " he wheezed. He was sure that they had been running for hours, she with her non-stop stamina and he with his slow-cooked spaghetti noodle legs. He leaned on a tree and tried to catch his breath, his eyes scanning their surroundings. It was turning dark, with the moons up and shining, and she had chosen a fairly secluded place to stop for the night. " _D—Do you have water?_ "

"N—No," she looked away, seemingly ashamed of herself for not thinking about supplies sooner. He couldn't blame her; they were running for their lives, after all. At least she had managed to find a decent cave in case it rains and they could hide if the soldiers came looking for them. _He?_ He was busy trying to not feel like his lungs gave up on him _an hour ago._

"But I saw a small stream about a kilometer from here. We should be able to drink it," she said, her face unconsciously split into the _faintest_ smile he had ever seen but quickly dissipated as soon as it started. He felt something crawling at the bottom of his stomach and _cringed_.

"Do you want me to go get some? I don't have anything to effectively hold water but I think your scabbard might work." she gestured to his wand-sword with a hesitant look on her face, like she was still too wary to even mention the thing. He swung it off his shoulder and unsheathed the blade—she winced _painfully_ —quickly hid it out of her sight and handed her the thing. She sighed in relief and gratitude, then instructed him to make a fire. "You can use your… _wand._ " she mumbled, and he nodded, watching as she took off to the woods, trying to find the stream again.

Well, he _might as well_ start collecting fuel.

Marco tried to stand up but his wobbly legs gave out, sending him tumbling onto a pile of leaves that he hoped— _prayed_ —were not _poisonous_.

Great. Just _fucking_ great.

* * *

Despite everything, he had gotten a nice, warm flame going with plenty of extra wood when she came back, looking frustrated. He rose from his place, drifting off into sleep against the cave wall, but she merely waved and he sat back.

"I got the water, but it took _forever_ ," she huffed, annoyed again, "The scabbard thing didn't work out as well as I thought, but _at least_ it worked."

"Well, I gotta hand it to you," he said as he took a desperately needed swig from the container, shivered when the blissful coolness washed through him, "You're pretty creative when it comes to surviving in the wilderness."

"What can I say?" she laughed, genuinely this time, and for some reason, he felt proud of himself, "I _did_ learn from the best."

"Your father, right…" he mumbled, and the smile on her face wilted away like a flower without water. _Good job_ , _Diaz; you sure fucked this one up_ , " _I_ _mean—_ "

"It's alright, Marco," she told him, albeit a bit harshly, toying with a piece of wood and a knife she had hidden in the concealed pockets of her dress ever since she came back to Mewni, "You don't have to feel sorry for me."

"I'm _not—_ " he started indignantly, but one look from her was enough to shut him up, " _Okay_ , I may have been— _a bit_ , but _can you blame me?_ Your _entire_ _family_ wants to _kill_ you!"

She set down the wood abruptly and he came to a screeching halt, realizing what he had said in the heat of the moment.

"First of all, _Diaz_ ," she said calmly, but he could feel the barely contained rage under the tone of her voice, "My _family_ didn't want to kill me. _Heartrude_ wants to kill me. Great-aunt Venusa and my father _saved our lives._ Get your facts right, because I'm _not_ going to let you talk shit about them." she got a bit defensive, the knife still grasped _tightly_ in her fingers, "Secondly, I don't need _you_ to pity me," she spat, and he stared at her in shock. "There's already enough people doing that."

" _I'm not—_ " he protested, then took a deep breath, readying himself for yet another fight, " _Look_ , I'm not _pitying_ you. I'm _worried_ about you, okay? I'm _not_ doing anything wrong; why are you acting like this?"

Looking back, he couldn't think of a better example for the phrase ' _Stuffing your foot in your mouth'._

"Acting like _this?_ " she asked, _incredulously_ , her eyes crazed with unexplained anger, "I'm not _acting_ like anything; _this is me!_ This is _who I am!_ If you don't love me then tell it to my face, _coward!_ Don't sneak off to call your _precious_ girlfriend when I'm asleep _right behind you_ , then _act_ like _nothing_ happened when I woke up!" she snarled and instead of staggering back like he would every time she screamed at him, he straightened his back, going face to face with her. He could feel the rage _boiling_ in his blood and _God_ was he determined to prove her wrong.

"Is _this_ what this is about? You're _jealous_? _I_ didn't do anything guilty!" he protested, while she snorted mockingly, "All I did was telling my family that I'm alright! They thought I was _long gone_ , _dead_ in a different dimension, somewhere they _can't even reach me_ , and all because of _you!_ " he yelled at her, "If _you_ never pulled me into this _godforsaken world_ in the first place, I wouldn't have had to make Jackie cry!"

He knew he was digging his own grave, but he _couldn't stop._

" _I_ pulled you?" she laughed bitterly, venom and pain in her words, "I didn't ask you to follow me, _did I?_ I left to keep you _safe_ , even though it was _killing_ me inside, but _you_ , being the stubborn, _ignorant_ _idiot_ you are—came to find me _anyway_! Is it _my_ _fault_ you _selfishly_ decided to brush off all of my warnings, my efforts, _weeks_ of _fighting with myself_ to _leave you_ , all to be _a fucking hero_ when _all_ I had _ever_ asked of you was to be a _friend?_ " she cried, and that _hurt_ like a smack in the face. He recognized the words from that fateful night, and Marco stared at her outburst, _shocked_ , when she said something else in a much smaller voice, croaked and broken. He barely managed to catch the whisper, but they _stung_ like a million knives pinned to his soul.

"Why didn't you just let me die when Toffee tried to kill me?" she desperately tried to swallow back her tears, "It would've hurt less than this."

Then, as if she couldn't stand it anymore, Star stood up and ran away from him, heading into the forest, _sobbing_. He was left behind, stunned, the unbearable guilt _crawling on his back_ as he curled up and attempted to cover himself with his hoodie, trying to stop himself from crying. He briefly wondered where would she sleep tonight before the exhaustion took over and he slipped into _merciful_ unconsciousness.

She didn't come back that night.

* * *

The entire fight had been a mistake. They were _tired_ and emotionally drained; they said things that could not be taken back. Words that hurt each other, sentences that made them cry. _They_ —they didn't _really_ mean any of that. He knew this. She knew this.

But they were stubborn.

Stubborn and headstrong and way too _prideful_ to admit their fault. Their flaws, their sins, their defeat. How _broken_ they were.

She was sitting against a tree, sobbing in rage, pain and self-pity. She was _vulnerable_.

He was leaning in their cave, weeping silently for what could've been. He was _weak_.

The figure smiled in the abyss. _This was her opportunity._

"S—Star?" The girl heard a quiet, compassionate voice, "Are you alright, my child?"

"Who— _who's there?_ " her eyes darted around but she saw nothing. Only branches swaying in the breeze of a stuffed summer night, the sound of crickets and silence filled her ears.

" _My child_ , don't be scared," the voice laughed heartily, reassuringly, and she could feel herself _melt_ underneath the warm, soothing tone. She slumped against the tree and let a small, _idle_ smile slip on her face. " _I'm sure_ you know who I am."

" _Are you—_ " she called out, but choked on her words, "Is there any chance you're—" she tried again, and the woman—it was _definitely_ a feminine voice—shushed her gently. She stopped and stared at the darkness, where something vaguely humanoid began to form.

Curly, gray hair. A long, sleek, black dress. Magenta eyes that _glowed_ and pierced through the inky mist.

 _Spades_.

* * *

"Star?" he called out, doubtful, when a girl walked back to his camp as soon as the sun rose. The fire in front of him was dying, coals glowing an unusual bright green, and the hoodie on his body was thrown to the other side. It was a hot night, so he didn't really need the extra fabric. " _Is that you?_ "

It was her, but she didn't say anything. She went inside and grabbed the scabbard, then left again. All the while he was staring at her, but she let her foot carry her away without a single word to him.

"Star, _please_ ," he gripped her wrist and she glared at him, but that didn't make him flinch, " _Can we—_ can we talk about this? I— _I'm sorry_ , I lost myself last night and I _didn't really mean that—_ "

"You know you do," she told him, her voice strangely monotone, as if she was so tired of this already, "We both know that, so why are you lying to yourself?"

"I _didn't—_ " he protested, but she held up a hand.

"I have to go," said Star, trying to tug her hand away, "I need to refill this and find something to eat." she stared at his grasp and gave him a pointed look.

He was sick of this. He was _so sick_ of this _shit_ she kept pulling on him every time they needed to talk things out. _Avoidance_.

" _No_ ," he muttered, _shaking_ , and she raised an eyebrow, "If you want it this way, then fine." he yanked her until they're face to face and she yelped despite herself, "I'll _spit it ou_ t for ya. See if you're finally _pleased, Princess_."

His eyes were wild and burning, full of fury. One would shiver involuntarily under the raging storm in his usually warm chocolate orbs, or _at least_ flinch away uncomfortably. _Not her_ , though. She matched his rage toe to toe, _unyielding_. Her hair was a mess, there were still tears stained on her cheeks, but she looked _feral_ , like a woman _determined_ and _ready to kill._

"Do you have _any idea_ how _conflicted_ I am?" he snarled, "You _pulled_ me out of my world, you _hurt me_ , you hurt _my family_. You _doomed_ me to this fate, _running_ and _hiding_ , not knowing _what to do_ and _where to go—_ " He was crying already, his eyes brimming with tears, but the look of disdain on her face didn't falter even a little bit, " _What am I supposed to do now?_ " he sobbed, helpless, " _How_ am I supposed to go home? Am I going to be _stuck_ here for _another sixteen years!?_ "

She was silent, unnerving. Dry and _drained_ and devastated. It almost seemed like _nothing_ could shake her anymore.

He let her hand go, _defeated_.

"I—I _did_ miss you, you know," he admitted quietly, "You were gone in a blink, and—and I thought I've lost you. Forever. _Again_." he swallowed a hiccup, "I _wasn't trying_ to be a _hero_ —I just _want you back…_ "

For a moment she was still. He couldn't see her expressions when she had her back to him, trembling slightly. _This is it,_ he thought painfully, _You've truly lost her, Diaz._

"Don't think I don't know, Marco," she told him, barely above her breath, "I _understand_. I'm not _stupid_. I _know_."

He could feel his hopes soaring to the sky like she just saved his life.

Then she turned around and the look on her face _broke his heart._

"You didn't miss _me_ ," she accused, but somehow sounded _crushed_ , like she had accepted this fact a long time ago, "You missed what I was to you."

Her words were _not true_ and he _knew_ it. _She_ must've known it too, _right?_ He _did miss her—_

Marco opened his mouth to defend himself but found no words. He closed it. Opened it again.

Then he realized, _horrified_ , that for the first time, they had _nothing_ to say to each other.

She turned on her heels and walked away. And he just stood there, _baffled_ , scared, watching her footsteps as she ran away from him _yet again._

 _He—he…_

 _He didn't know._

 _He honestly didn't know._

* * *

 _They_ returned sneakily, _suspiciously_. He barely managed to look up from the revived fire when he saw her there, in _their_ grasp, a knife to her throat, drawing blood.

" _Star!_ " he jumped, his sword ready by his side but stilled _immediately_ when he saw who the man behind her was.

"If I were you, _my dear boy_ ," Heartrude smirked, "I wouldn't do that."

Guards flanked them and he looked around, panicked slightly. _She's in danger_ , and he couldn't do _anything_.

"Now, now," the man cooed, his hand woven into her golden hair and he jerked brutally. She let out a cry despite her attempt at keeping up a brave face. "Give me the wand, _boy_ , then I'll give you back your pretty little Princess. How does _that_ sound?"

For a moment he felt _helpless_. He _had_ to save her; _he knew he had to_ , but _the wand?_ If Heartrude gets the wand then _that's it; they lost_. He'll _never_ get to go home. They'll kill him _for sure._

He'll never get to see his parents again.

He'll never get to see _Jackie_ again.

…For all the trouble and _pain_ she had already caused him, was she _really worth it?_ Worth _his life_ , his _only_ _shot_ at _ever_ escaping this dimension? He— _he couldn't_ _handle_ another _sixteen years alone_ , not when there was no purpose for him, no mission, no _hope_.

She— _was she worth it?_

He didn't notice, but she was chuckling slightly, _maniacally_ , as if she had _somehow_ heard his _disgusting_ thoughts.

" _Me?_ " she laughed out loud, startling her dirty uncle, " _I_ am the one who needs saving?"

Then, despite the knife, she turned around, _allowing_ the sharp metal to cut a clean, shallow line on her skin, _bleeding_ crimson. He _cried_ , but she left his pleas outside of her mind.

"I am _no one's pretty little Princess!_ " she roared, giving Heartrude an elbow in the guts. He groaned painfully, his grip on her hair fell off and she _punched_ him _square in the face_ with everything she's got, "How's _this_ for a Princess?"

"Lord Heartrude!" the guards shouted, alarmed, but they stayed back when she picked up the knife and _pointed_ it at the man, her expression furious and ferocious, _untamed_.

" _You,_ " she said, her voice trembling, " _You did this_. You discriminated me, dishonoured me, made me _run for my life_. You want to _kill_ me, don't you?" she giggled, her eyes dull and wide opened, _crazed_ , "You want the throne, the power, the _wand_. The magic that _you_ weren't born with. Do you _think_ that _you_ can control the wand?"

The man _whimpered_ when she straddled his chest, her knife _digging_ into his throat.

" _M—Mercy—_ " he choked out, but she didn't budge. For a second, Marco could swear her eyes were a _bright_ magenta, but he shook his head and waved it off as a trick from the light, or from his _thudding_ , panicked brain.

" _Star—_ " he couldn't believe himself, but he pleaded with her. Heartrude stared at him in shock and gratitude, but he refused to meet the man's eyes. "Just— _stop, please_. This is just revenge all over again; it's _changing_ you. And _this_ is just not you. _Please…_ "

She whipped her head over to him and he could see the hatred etched in her face, "What do _you_ know about me?" she snarled, "You think _you_ know _me_ , don't you? Well, _too bad_. You know _nothing!_ "

She raised her knife.

" _No!_ " he yelled, his hands flew up instinctively to stop her.

But it was too late.

The blade plunged down, striking right between Heartrude's ribs.

He barely managed a half scream of terror.

Then everything was quiet.

The world was spinning, and Marco felt his guts churned, emptying itself at a tree nearby. A _disgusting_ taste exploded in his mouth, and he _gagged_.

He felt _sick_.

The guards ran for their lives when their leader was murdered, absolutely _terrified_ of this girl in front of them. She would _kill_ them, and they knew that. They fled the place.

He was left alone with a deafening silence, a bleeding corpse and her.

Oh God, _her._

She looked _crazed_ , blood on her hands and splattered across her face.

He couldn't look into her eyes.

She stood up, her face blank, as if she was possessed by something.

Then, just as quickly as it started, it was over.

She stared at the mangled remains of her uncle in panic, at her own hands like she couldn't believe she did that.

Then her eyes, dull and tired but still as blue as ever, shifted over to him.

She collapsed.

* * *

 **i swear there is an explanation for all of this dont be mad**


	11. thoughts

**Well heyy guys :D Sorry for updating sooo late; I had Easter with my family and my mother demanded me to stop all of my writing in favor to stuffing food in my face XD Anyway to make up for it here's a new, extra long chapter ;)**

 **Jeez I swear this thing keeps getting longer and longer omfg XD**

* * *

He didn't know what to say.

He wanted to walk over to her and comfort her, ease her pain, her misery. _She_ —She didn't do that on purpose, _for sure_ ; she's so _innocent_ and nice— _she can't be a murderer—_

His Star—

His sweet, kind, cheerful Star…

 _Gone_.

 _She's not here._

 _Wake up and_ _for fuck's sake, run, Marco!_

He scrambled to his feet, and she sobbed pathetically. She looked like she was scarred for life, crawling away from her uncle's lifeless body. Tears were streaming down her face, pale and cold despite the hot, stuffing weather. He stared at her, unsure of what to do.

She turned around, her eyes _blue_ and full of bitter regret but _he could only see_ the haunting, glowing magenta, _murderous_.

His instincts kicked in and he ran for all he was worth. 

* * *

She—She _didn't—_

No— _No!_

Her uncle— _God, her uncle…_

 _Blood…_

 _Dizzy…_

 _Marco—_

She felt like she might pass out.

Her head hurt. Her _eyes_ hurt.

Everything hurt.

Her face was _uncomfortably_ damp.

She touched her cheeks with shaking hands, reluctantly looked at her fingertips.

Crimson _red_.

The metallic scent of blood made her want to throw up.

Someone— _anyone_ —end this—

Please… _please…_

"M— _M—Marco—_ " she whimpered, desperate, " _Please_ —I—"

…But nobody came.

She wept. 

* * *

" _My child!_ " the voice cried, "What happened to you?"

Star raised her head and _there she was_ , in all her hazy glow comforting glory. She sobbed and tried to touch the figure.

Her hands phased right through the solid-looking torso.

The spirit smiled sadly at her.

"Grandma!" she claimed through her tears, relief flooding her system nonetheless. " _Please_ —help me—"

"Star, my child, you're _alright_ ," Eclipsa said tenderly, her fingers ghosting over the long, tangled curls on her great-granddaughter's head. "I'm here for you. _I'm_ _here_."

For some reason, the nonexistent gesture made her feel better.

"What happened, _mon cher_?" she smiled when the girl curled up into her embrace, "You can always tell me."

"I—I can't, _grand-mère_ ," she rubbed her eyes, tired and drained, "I don't want to—"

It was too painful to relive the horrific moment.

She did this— _it was all her fault—_

 _Her_ fault.

"Shh, _mon enfant,_ " Eclipsa shushed her profusely, "I—I believe I know why you acted like… _that_. If my hypothesis is correct, then it's _not_ your fault, darling. _It's not your fault._ "

"What do I _do_ , grandma?" she choked out, her face buried in the comfort of her own knees, "I—I can't face him after that— _I can't!_ "

"We—We will figure something out, dear," she reassured her, "It's _alright_ —it's going to be fine. Don't cry, _shh_ …Let—let me handle this, sweetheart." She planted a kiss on top of her granddaughter's head.

"But _how—_ " Star looked up but the ghost was gone.

She was left alone again. 

* * *

_Calm down, Marco…_

 _Pull yourself together—_

He splashed the cold water onto his face and hissed. _Damn_. It took him _ages_ to find the stream she was talking about, but it was worth it.

He heaved out a breath.

She—He _couldn't believe_ she did that—

 _How could she?_ She wasn't your typical princess, _alright_ , but _this?_ This was too much.

He knew that where she grew up, killing people are _perfectly_ _acceptable_ , but that's _not_ a valid excuse! He taught her everything, he told her, he _trusted_ her! She—She should've known better than _this!_

She's a rebel, that much he knew. She's a criminal, a _complete maniac_ at times, but a _murderer?_

He— _he should just—_

Stay away from her.

 _Yeah, that's what he should do…_

But—but _she needs him!_ She was calling out to him in desperation, and what did _he_ do?

He ran away.

What was he doing? He should be by her side now, comforting her…

 _No! Who would ever comfort a dangerous murderer? Get your shit together, Diaz!_

He groaned. God _fucking_ dammit, _what was he supposed to do?_

…at least he should see if she's alright?

 _Ugh. Fine._

He rose to his feet reluctantly, tormented by his guilty conscience and made his way back to her. He—He'll just check _for a minute_ , then he could be off on his way, _right?_

Right. 

* * *

"Star?" a familiar voice called her. She knew this voice; it's him— _God, it's him._ She— _How was she supposed to look him in the eye?_

"Star, are you okay?" he asked, and she had to restrain herself from crying out loud. "I—I just want to check on you—that's all…"

 _He—_ after everything, he's still worried about _her?_

She—

She _couldn't—_

He found her and the second their eyes met, she _broke_.

"Marco!" she wailed, and dove for his arms, expecting to relish in his warm, loving embrace. She missed this—she _needed_ this—she _wanted_ this—

But he pulled back.

" _Don't touch m—_ " he scrambled back in panic, his eyes darting wildly, his entire body tensed in alarm. But he stopped himself before he could finish that sentence, because _God knows_ she would never forgive him. _He_ would never forgive him.

She stared at him and the expression on his face was something between ashamed and frightened. He didn't even meet her eyes, instead opted to look at _anything_ other than her.

 _She lost him._

In a moment of blind rage, she had committed a crime so severe he was _disgusted_ by her actions.

He— _This is all her fault._

" _I didn't mean to—_ " she started, but he looked sick and nauseous. She swallowed, her throat dry, "I _swear_ I didn't mean to do that— _something_ was controlling me—"

" _Something_?" he snapped, "You _slaughtered_ your _uncle_ because _something_ gave you the urge to? _God_ , do you even _realize_ what you have done?" he said, frustrated, "Now the _entire kingdom_ will hunt us down— _you are a murderer, Star!_ "

She _flinched_ , clearly taken aback by his words. She knew they were true, but she had done nothing but trying to keep those thoughts out of her mind and live in denial for the past few hours.

"I don't want to do this anymore," he sighed when he saw her reaction, "You're _fine_ , and that's all I needed to know. I have nothing else to say, Star." Without another word or an explanation, he walked away.

At that moment, she wanted nothing more than to curl up into herself and disappear forever. Maybe then she'd finally wake up from this nightmare. It might be _just a bad dream_ , right? She'd open her eyes and he would be by her side, peaceful and contented.

Star Butterfly stared thoughtfully at the bloodied dagger resting on the ground next to her.

 _One strike_ , and it'd end. _Everything would end._

She would be able to leave this _torturous_ existence and join her mother on the other side…

… _No_. That's not— _that's not how it works._

She couldn't die.

 _Not yet._

Years of training with her beloved father paid off, after all. Her instincts came crashing in, and she managed to clear her mind. It was just some wistful thinking; she couldn't afford to be _ignorant_ anymore. She needed to _prove_ to him that it wasn't her fault. She was _not_ a cold-blooded murderer.

First step? _Staying alive._

She could feel her soul filled with determination. She was reborn, ready to face _whatever_ hurtful insults he'd throw at her.

…But her stomach growled.

So instead of crying, she picked herself up from the ground, dusted her clothes and went out to find supplies.

If she wanted to survive for long enough to make it right, she's gotta be on her feet. 

* * *

_Hmm. How_ fascinating.

 _Despite the trauma she went through, her true magic potential hasn't even come out yet. What else does one need to do in this situation?_

Of course, Eclipsa knew the reason for her granddaughter's sudden burst of savage determination. To say it has nothing to do with her is to, well, _lie._

She didn't intend to let it go _that_ far, honest…

But she couldn't deny the fact that this turn of event is… _beneficial_ to her research.

After all, her subject needs to be _active_ for her to make any observations, no?

Despite all of that, though…

Seeing her Star like this, broken and detached, _cowering_ like a newborn baby…

That's _not_ the girl she was rooting for.

 _This wasn't right._

She observed a fierce, strong, _rebel_ _Princess_. Someone who didn't take shit from anyone. Someone who _reminds_ her of herself.

She wanted a _warrior_ , someone interesting and headstrong. Not this… _disappointment._

She needed to fix this experiment.

Eclipsa paced the familiar void, deep in thought. She knew just _what_ would release the girl's magic, pushing Star to her full ability. If the hatchet didn't work, it's time to try the honey.

Unfortunately, the kind of _honey_ she offered wasn't the kind that her stubborn granddaughter wanted.

 _Alas, she would still need that boy._

The former Queen grumbled to herself. She had never liked the way that _Earth creature_ spoke to her precious Star, much less how he _behaves_ around the Princess. He acted like having her with him was something that came _naturally_ , like sometimes he forgot he was yelling at a _powerful_ being with magic that could _incinerate_ him with just one word and a flick of the wand. He _took her for granted_ , then _threw_ her away the second she wasn't being the friend _he_ _wanted_ _her to be._

That boy is _nothing_ but poison and Eclipsa would _never_ understand why Star was even putting up with him. After all, she ran away from a toxic relationship when the _brainless_ Mewman King _demanded_ her to be a doll in a glass case; there was no reason why her descendant couldn't do the same.

 _Especially_ when the young girl reminds her _so much_ of herself.

That attitude, that rebellious personality…

 _That incredible affinity for magic._

Eclipsa sighed, observing the boy from afar. He was splashing his face with water and panting like a lowlife _dog_ , looking like a _complete maniac._

The Queen rolled her eyes. _Males_ , acting like _this_. And they say the _women_ are overreacting.

Her bright magenta eyes met his and she _stilled_.

With a jolt, she realized that he was in a state of panic and constant fear, as unstable as Star herself.

How— _Why_ would he be like this?

To say she was _confused_ would be the understatement of the century.

…Unless he knew she was watching and put up an act?

She lurked in the shadows, scrutinizing. There was _something else_ going on under this boy's skin and _hell_ , was she going to find out.

She knew that he has a… _mate_ ; someone who is fully committed to him _and vice versa_ back in his dimension.

He groaned and the ghost startled, breaking out from her train of thoughts. She narrowed her eyes at him

If he _ever_ decides to break Star's heart all over again…

He'd better enjoy his time of _eternal torment_ in this _godforsaken_ void, because she was going to _drag_ him down here if he makes her _petite fille_ cry again.

— _Whoa_ , what was that maternal monologue?

She was here for a _purpose!_ A study, a research, an _experiment!_ She was here because there was _knowledge_ she could gather, _invaluable_ things she could learn, cosmic secrets she could unlock. All shrunken into a _little girl_ , still too naïve and _innocent_ to realize what _treasure_ she possesses, how blessed she was with natural talent, how _great_ she could be, making astonishing things happen and become _the most powerful Queen there has ever been!_ With her capability and the Royal Magic Wand, she could do _anything_.

…Even things that Eclipsa herself had failed to do.

The spirit sighed to herself and went back into the endless void, alone with her thoughts.

She knew what she was doing was _ethically_ wrong. Oh, after decades of being fed the same morals _again and again_ , she knew that very well. Going against the rules and testing her granddaughter's emotional stability for the sake of - _dare she says it_ \- _science_ would likely get people to either call her cold-hearted or stake her alive on a pole.

But again, _why else_ would she be branded as a traitor and sentenced to suffer an endless death for her new ideals?

She got _used_ to being _the bad guy_ a long time ago.

But looking back at the poor Star Butterfly…

…Maybe she was. 

* * *

Two hours later and _intense_ hunger convinced him that it was _enough_.

He needed to survive.

He tried to find her, but she was nowhere to be found.

She wasn't back at the cave.

He tried _not to look_ at what was left of the man after the beasts in this forest went through him.

He _failed_.

Well, he would try to look for _berries_ or something, but his guts told him that _everything_ here is either poisonous or deadly. It's called Forest of Certain Death for a reason, after all.

 _God, why? Why Certain Death?_ _Why couldn't it be Cuddly Edible Dreams?_

… _No, Marco._ If you managed to survive _sixteen years_ of isolation, then finding food would be no problem for you!

It's _much_ _easier_ when he has a purpose to live. An _end goal._

 _She_ was the only thing that kept him going before.

But _now?_

"Marco!" someone called him and he jolted awake, eyes darting around, alarmed.

"Who's there?" he called out, half expecting some kind of monster to eat him alive. _Well_ , _at least_ he'd be of _some use_ to _something_ , like a _filling_ , _nutritious_ meal. That sounds _fantastic_ by now.

There was _no way_ it could be her.

But, despite all odds, _there she was_ , stepping out from the shadows. In her hand were…

Fishes…

 _Food!_

"Dinner." she ordered, using the least amount of words she could _possibly_ use to tell him what to do. She jerked her chin at the coals, and he scurried over, lighting up a spark with his sword, albeit a bit clumsily. She didn't even bat an eye.

He wasn't sure if she was _mad_ at him or just too _shameful_ to talk. He assumed it was the latter, because she has _no rights whatsoever_ to be angry. _Especially_ at him.

She made quick work of the fishes with her knife, removing inedible parts like an experienced sushi maker. _Honestly_ , he was impressed.

But the sight of her blade, _soaked_ with blood, made him a little…uneasy.

She either didn't realize it or didn't care. He'd like to think it was the former. She could be so _oblivious_ sometimes.

…He _knew_ it was selfish, but he'd still like to think she _cares_ about him.

Soon the fishes were impaled with several wooden sticks she found, and hung over the fire. The smell of cooking food made his mouth water; he hadn't eaten _anything_ since she lost her cheek marks!

— _that probably wasn't a very good timestamp._

She was hovering over the food, occasionally taking a small sip from the scabbard. Seeing the way he eyed the thing, she looked away and passed it to him.

He emptied the thing in about _five seconds._

It wasn't one of his more glorious moments.

She sighed when he handed it back to her, flustered. " _Watch_. _Don't_ let it burn." she told him, in a very serious voice, mind you, and stood up, heading towards the stream for some more water.

It was getting dark, the twilight shining through numerous luscious branches. He stared at the sky and the moons, allowing himself some time to think. She was— _different_ , alright, but it's not like he could blame her. He was just surprised; he wasn't expecting her to act so… _responsible_ and _mature_ at this time, especially after what happened between them. She was crying out for him _desperately_ less than four hours ago, and now she's this _serious, multitalented survivor?_

Maybe she was a Princess who lived up to her title after all, no matter how much she absolutely _resented_ the responsibility.

He chuckled when memories of those times she groaned on her bed when they talked about the future and he mentioned her royalty duties came flooding back. She was always so _exaggeratedly_ _annoyed_ at the idea of her becoming a competent Queen, able to lead and rule her people in harmony and peace.

He meant, _look at her now._

Doing _exactly_ what she was expected to do when she's the Queen of Mewni.

A brief, unexplainable pride rushed through him and he smiled to himself.

She _truly_ was someone worth looking up to.

" _Marco Diaz!_ " Speak of the devil. "What was the _one thing_ I told you to do?"

He said something _really intelligent_ like, "Huh?" before looking down at the fire.

 _Uh oh._

She pushed him aside and lifted their burnt dinner out of the flame, setting it down on gigantic leaves she brought back along with the scabbard full of water. The fishes were _steaming_ , and he was taken aback for a moment. How could he _possibly not_ smell _that?_

"Little singed. Still edible." she mumbled and gave him one. The fish— _he didn't even know what type of fish is that_ —smelled _heavenly_. He gave her a small smile, _which she did not return_ , and that made his smile died pretty quick. Nevertheless, he sunk his teeth in the part that wasn't charred and took a huge bite.

Needed a little salt but _hey,_ he's _not_ complaining.

Marco scarfed down his portion with a record speed, while Star was staring at the fire and slowly munching her roasted… _carp?_ _Look_ , he wasn't the best in aquatic life and he didn't know if they have Earth species of fish here in Mewni. Cut him some slacks.

She looked… _distracted_. Deep in thoughts. He'd ask her what's going on, but he didn't want to start another fight. He wanted the fragile peaceful atmosphere they shared for as long as possible.

Things had never been this _awkward_ between them before. But again, he had never witnessed her _murdering her uncle_ before, so the awkwardness is to be expected, he guessed.

His eyes skirted over her discreetly, trying to find something to start a conversation. He subconsciously remembered her reckless action from that morning, and found himself staring at her neck.

"H—How's your neck? Did it heal _that_ fast?" he asked and she blinked at him, as if she couldn't believe how absurd of a question that was. Her fingers drifted to the place where a nasty cut was supposed to be, but there was nothing there except for a silvery scar, thin and almost invisible.

" _I—_ " she began, but cut herself off, staring at the green fire again. "I guess it did."

The tension between them was so _thick_ you could _practically_ cut through it with a knife. He swallowed dryly and reached for the scabbard again.

She wasn't looking at him. In fact, she seemed so _intrigued_ by the flame it was ridiculous, but he wasn't in any position to judge her anyway. Maybe she just didn't want to talk to him.

They sat together in complete silence. _Stuffing_ and _suffocating_ _silence._

At last, he couldn't handle it anymore. He left the campfire and walked inside the cave.

She stayed. 

* * *

Star Butterfly wasn't one of the blinded fools or the ignorant ones, living in blissful oblivion. She knew that she had to deal with her problems _eventually_.

But that didn't mean she _wouldn't_ _like_ to _run away_ from it.

The fire crackled and she shivered. It's getting cold outside, even on a summer night, and her _flimsy_ _dress_ wasn't going to hold her up for long.

She needed new clothes.

She needed _somewhere to go._

She could, _theoretically_ , return to the castle and tell everyone Heartrude was killed by one of the monsters. But she _knew_ that _Etheria_ wouldn't buy her lies, and even if she would then there would still be another monster _massacre_ ; slaughtering a Mewman was punishable by death, let alone someone belongs to the royalty, and death by the hands of a monster no less. Their _entire kind_ would be hunted and obliterated. She _couldn't_ let that happen!

She could find a friend who would help her. Mewni is a vast dimension and there were several kingdoms. She could take refuge in the Johansen Kingdom—her father's family's, or she could go all the way North, to the Cloud Kingdom of the Pony Heads. She's a Princess, after all; and she had close connections with the other Royal Families. And, if _worse comes to worst_ , she _could_ go to the Underground. _Tom_ would help her—

With a guilty jolt, she remembered the conditions of her unfortunate friends. They were like her mother; nothing more than soulless shells. How— _How could she forget that?_ They voluntarily gave themselves up to rescue her— _what kind of_ monster _was she?_

She slapped herself awake and shook her head. _Stupid Star._

There's another choice. She could survive here and build a shelter, a house or _something_. She could live in the forest; there's nothing wrong with this place. She knew every twist and turns by heart; she had been here every time she needed to let out some steam ever since she was a child.

But the problem is… _well, Marco._

 _He_ didn't want to be here, and _God knew_ that he'd _die_ the second she left his side. _Sure_ , he _somehow_ managed to survive for sixteen years by himself, but _this is Mewni!_ He's in the _Forest of Certain Death_ , the most dangerous place in the _entire_ dimension, and he couldn't escape. _Besides_ , Hekapoo's dimension was one of the tamer ones out there in the universe. Without her, there would be no plans, no goals, _no way out._

No going back home.

…And, _to be completely honest_ , she didn't want to be stuck here with him either.

 _Sure,_ she _loves_ him, but there's only so much a person could take before they _ultimately gave up_. She sacrificed everything for him, she ignored the well-being of _herself_ for him, she'd been there for him _every single time_ , and what did _he_ do when she needed him the most?

He ran away.

She was tired. _Sick_ and _drained_ and _had had enough._

He didn't _care_ about her feelings. They were so together, so _happy_ , so _obliviously happy_ about their friendship once, back when everything seemed like it might work out for the best. _But now?_

He didn't care.

And what hurt the most is that neither did she.

 _Not anymore._

She could smell the rain in the air before it came. Sighing, she picked up the spare food and wrapped them in the leaves, gathering what little supply and equipment they had and walked inside. She carefully set the things down and settled for a spot opposite of where he was.

 _Heh._ And just _two nights ago_ , he was wrapping his arms around her lovingly. It was, _undeniably_ , one of the few moments in her life when she felt _loved_.

She tried to push the thoughts away before they could make her cry again.

His warm, chocolate brown eyes were still open and they _stared_ at her.

She turned, looking outside instead.

The castle was barely visible behind the trees, but the glowing light pierced the night sky and warmed her heart a little. _Her home._

So _peaceful_ and tranquil.

 _But she knew what was going on inside._

Her father…Her _poor_ , _unfortunate_ _father_.

How could he _possibly_ hold up under the pressure the Butterflies put on him? He might be a King by name, but everyone knew that it was her mother who did the real job.

He didn't have magic. They _won't accept_ him. And Etheria would _sure as hell_ try to get him to abdicate the throne. They wanted the power. And she _knew_ her great-aunt; that _witch_ would stop at nothing to get her. The megalomaniacal old lady wanted her _son_ as the King.

So it's good news that Star already _killed_ the parasite, _right?_

For a moment, their future looked so _grim_. She didn't know _what to do._

A shooting star passed and she silently wished for her father's safety.

Star sighed ruefully.

It might not be raining here, but it sure _is—_

 _It's raining somewhere else._

* * *

 **hope you enjoyed it XD this thing is literally my blood and tears omg this chapter was so hard to write XD**

 **anyway, i assume some of you will have questions sooo if you do hit me up on tumblr and i'll answer them :)) i'm still jennylovesjordan but there would be a link that leads to a new sideblog i made for this fic lol XD ask me anything =))**

 **btw who gets that reference tho u da mvp *heart eyes* tell me what reference i made and maybe i'll do a smol request for ya :3 contact me through tumblr if you win ;)**


	12. do you feel it?

**oh my god guys i am so sorry for slacking on the updates ;-; Easter messed up my entire schedule, and now i'm struggling with finals season and my birthday coming this 5th May XD yayyy**

 **anyway, here it is, an extra looong chapter ;) this was sooo hard to write (honestly omfg) but hooray, i made it =)) enjoyyy**

 **also, congrats to supup13 for guessing the right reference XD it's undertale, yasss =)) contact me, friend, since you're a guest and i couldn't pm you ;-; just give me a message and i'll do your request, 'kay? ;)**

 **warning: contains long ass monologues and a hell lot of swearing.**

* * *

Sunrise on a perfect day.

It was cold after the rain last night. He was shivering slightly in his jacket.

Something smelled bad. _Horrendously_ bad.

Oh _crap_ , he needed a shower. _Desperately_.

His freaking shirt _stunk_ of vomit, for _God's sake._

Marco Diaz opened his eyes and looked around. He could see their dead fire outside, the ashes soaked and muddy. The wind was howling in this tiny cave, and she was gone.

Hmm, at least the sun is shining—

 _Wait, what?_

He bolted upright, a little disoriented from the fast movement. His stomach did a few barrel rolls and it felt like it was trying to empty out again. He tried to settle down but _well, too late_. The bile rose up his throat and he gagged. _Ugh_. He needed some water. And probably some kind of medicine; he was fairly certain he had a cold by now. If not anything worse.

Matters aside, _where was she?_

"Star?" he called out, but no one answered. She was nowhere to be found, and the scabbard had disappeared, too, so maybe she went out for some water?

He left the cave, anxious. Where could she be? If she _did_ go for water, she should've left a note telling that; she knew that he would be worried about her—

Oh, _right_. They weren't _talking_ anymore.

Great. Just _fucking_ great.

" _Star!_ " he yelled, despite the fact that there was nobody who could hear him; the forest was vast and empty. Or they could have guards on their tails still, and he had just given them their position.

Not like he _cared_ , though.

" _Gods_ , Marco, _shut up!_ " a hurried voice quieted him. She clumsily climbed out of the bushes nearby, looking _furious_ , her face flushed bright red. He stared at her, confused. "I just went to— _uh_ , do my _private thing_ , that's all," she rolled her eyes at his mortified expression, and cleared her throat stiffly.

 _What?_ He didn't _understa—_

Oh. _Oh._

"Well, this is awkward," he stated the obvious and she nodded vigorously, face still crimson, eyes avoiding him at all cost. "I, _uh,_ " he stuttered, " _I'll just_ —leave you to it…?"

" _Yes, please,_ " she mumbled and handed him the scabbard. It was slightly wet, and he eyed it, a bit suspicious, " _I_ —I went out and got some water, so— _here you go_ ," She turned on her heels and disappeared into the woods again as soon as the words got out of her mouth. _Damn_ , he had never expected this to happen.

But well, they're humans; they gotta do their… _thing_ , right?

…Well, at least _he's_ human, anyway.

Honestly, sometimes he forgot she wasn't _technically_ a human; just looks _humanoid_ , until he caught a glimpse of her wings poking out under her long, blonde hair. _Said hair_ caused her _a lot_ of trouble moving around since she didn't have anything to tie it up with, so _apparently_ , she had cut it at some point last night. When she showed up with a short, messy haircut this morning, he had sucked in a desperate breath despite himself.

 _She looked so much like Jackie it hurt._

"Okay. There are no signs of guards on our tails so far, but I'm not _entirely_ sure about that," she came back and he startled, whipping his head around so fast he was surprised he didn't get a whiplash. "My wings could only carry me _that_ high," she pointed to a branch, about 3 meters above ground.

"That isn't too high," The sun got in his eyes and he narrowed them, "You sure you don't want me to try, _say_ , climb the tree?"

"Are you _nuts?_ " she asked, incredulously, "Didn't you know these trees are _poisonous?_ One scratch from the bark and you'll be practically _gone_ for a good two hours. Mewmans make hallucinogens out of them; some kinds could knock you out for a full day, Safe Kid," she laughed and shook her head at him.

Well, it's not _his_ fault he didn't know about _Mewni's_ ecosystem. _If anything_ , she didn't even know what a _cactus_ was before he told her.

Oh, what he wouldn't do to _wipe that smug grin off her face._

"Well then, Miss _I-Know-Everything_ ," he taunted, "How are we doing this? Where are we going now? _I mean_ , don't get me wrong; I like this place, but we can't stay here forever, can we? We still need to track Toffee down and save your mother—"

Her face was grave.

"That's enough," she held up a hand and he shut his mouth, "Thank you," she said, and he wasn't sure if that was supposed to be sarcastic or genuine.

"I know where to go," she told him, and he perked up, "Kelly's house isn't so far from here, but it's near the Capital," she picked up a stick and started scribbling on the dirt, "We'll have to be careful."

" _Kelly?_ " he leaned over to her and stared at the little circle next to the _surprisingly_ detailed castle, "Why _her?_ Couldn't we just, you know, _continue_ _on_ , instead of taking a detour? And it's dangerous there; we could be captured anytime—"

"Marco, have you seen _me? Have you seen_ yourself _?_ " she gestured to all of him and he reflectively scrunched up his face, "Sorry. But we need supplies. And clothes. And a shower," she sniffed the air a little and wrinkled her nose. " _Quick_."

"In my defense, _you_ made me throw up when you _murdered_ your uncle," he folded his arms, being stubborn as ever. She groaned exasperatedly and threw her hands in the air.

"I thought we're _over_ this?" she bit back. It came out harsh and frustrated. He gave her a look that said _Are you seriously yelling at me right now?_ and she took a deep breath.

" _Look,_ " she sighed, and it seemed like she had her temper on check this time, "We have _two_ options about this. _One_ is, we _never_ talk again, go our own ways and _maybe_ , you know, get _slaughtered_ in the process. _Two_ is, we _work together_ to survive first, and _then_ we'll figure it out. Which one would you prefer?"

"Oh, _I don't know_ ," he yelled, "How about you start with _explaining_ instead of being _vague as fuck_ all the time?"

" _Excuse_ me?" She held a hand to her chest, offended, "What do you think I was _trying_ to do _two seconds_ after the thing happened? And did you even bother to _listen_ _to me_ when I tried to _explain?_ Oh, _wait_ , you were busy running away and leave me behind when I _fucking trusted you!_ "

" _Trust?_ " He was angry. Furious, frustrated, pained. He couldn't handle this argument; he _wouldn't_ , "Are we _seriously_ talking about trust here? I _trusted_ you to be my _friend!_ I trusted you to _not_ ruin my relationship with my girlfriend, the girl I've been dreaming about ever since I _remember_ _anything_! _And what did you do?_ You just had to _fucking_ _confess_ in front of _everyone I know_ , and in front of _her_ , no less! Now _what'll_ she think of _me?_ That I'm _cheating on her?_ " She had tears brimming in her eyes and he tried to push away the guilt rising in his stomach, " _You were my friend, Star!_ " he continued with his yelling, venting out all the burden he's been harboring for the past week, "My _best friend—_ " his voice cracked and he hated himself for that.

She had her head down, mumbling something that he didn't quite catch.

" _I'm sorry_ , what was that?" he said, a little more smug that he would like for it to be. She stared up at him, tears falling down her cheeks, eyes bloodshot and he could see how _broken_ she was inside that cheerful, sassy cocoon, behind the humorous mask.

"We're _not_ just friends and you _fucking_ know it." she spat. _It's out there now, there's no taking it back—_

"…why do you hate me that much, Star?"

" _Hate_ you?" she laughed bitterly, "Do you _think_ I _don't_ want to hate you? _God_ , Diaz, you're _such_ an _idiot_ sometimes." He didn't say anything, expecting her to continue. Her eyes met his, and she let out a tiny, defeated noise, "No matter how hard I try I couldn't bring myself to hate you. I _hate_ that you made me feel like _I wasn't enough_ , and that I _believed_ how you made me feel. But I'll never be able to hate you, _even if I want to._ " He stared at her, astonished, but her face was blank, "And _trust_ _me_ when I said I _fucking_ want to."

He regretted everything that came out of his mouth that day.

* * *

Silence filled the air between them and he was dying a little inside.

…Okay, maybe _that_ was an _understatement_.

He didn't say anything and it was killing her. _God_ , was being frank a mistake?

She was just _sick of this—whatever_ this is. Beating around the bushes. Avoiding the main reason why they kept fighting, why they couldn't just be _friends_ again—

Because she no longer could live with that. It had gotten to the point where it's either having him _fully to herself_ or _not_ having him _at all_. Letting him go and start a new life would've been _so much easier_ than living like— _this_ , being by his side but not being able to _love_ him the way she had always _wanted_ to…

 _She didn't want to leave him._

But if it's what he wanted, she would. _For both of them._

But that didn't mean she wouldn't try to fix things between them. _One last time._

God, sometimes she wished she could be less… _noble_ and just _kidnap_ him or something. She hated the way she cares about him _so much_ , the way she would _always_ put his happiness over _anything_ _else_ , the way her heart flutters every time he so much as _smiled_ in her direction.

This was _ridiculous_ , _absolutely ridiculous_ ; she should've just go back to the castle and let him _rot_ here in the wilderness…

 _What the fuck was she thinking?_

"Marco," she whispered, her eyes silently asking him to just—listen, " _Look_ , I— _I'm_ — _sorry_ for what happened. I told you before, I wasn't in total control of what I did, and _trust me_ , I wasn't lying. _Please_ , can you _just—_ believe me one more time?" He turned around to look at her and _she just looked so…_

Defeated. Exhausted.

Apologetic. Ashamed.

 _Beautiful._

"I _know,_ " she tried to catch his eyes and he couldn't look away, "That what I did was unacceptable, but _please_ , can we fix this? You're my _best friend—_ " she choked out a silent sob, "You're my _only friend left_ , and I _don't want to lose you._ I _really don't—_ "

She was crying again and he was helpless. An image of the night she left him bleeding, _heartbroken_ and _confused_ flashed in his mind and he shut his eyes, shaking his head to get it out. _That_ wasn't what he needed now.

She— _Did she ever love him?_

The way she looked at him that night, _desperate_ and _furious_ but still full of reluctance and _undeniable love…_

It wasn't _just a simple crush._

It was _so much more than that._

 _He couldn't get it out of his mind._

" _Star…_ " he called her name and grabbed her shoulders. She tensed instinctively, like she'd have to fight for her life any moment. What had they _done_ to his once naive and nonchalant best friend?

 _Could he really forgive her once more?_

She stared at him and her eyes were a mesmerizing cerulean blue.

 _Not a single trace of that haunting magenta._

"Okay then," he flushed, and she relaxed a little in his hands, "We'll do it your way."

She smiled gleefully _for the first time in days_ and the world around him _brightened_.

" _Oh, my,_ " a voice gasped in an overly feminine way, "Did I miss it?"

* * *

They're _already_ making up without her?

 _Well, isn't that disappointing._ She had taken _weeks_ out of her schedule to research about the little Princess's magic… _problems._

…Was it _weeks_? _Days_? Maybe even _months_?

Time is… _difficult_ in this void.

 _Nevertheless._ She had found out the cause of this catastrophic string of events. And, _no surprise_ , it was _technically_ her fault, but she swore to the gods that she did _not_ have this intention. _Sure_ , Star was her little experiment, but that didn't mean Eclipsa would _ever_ hurt the girl.

The boy was by her side and being all… _annoying._

She wasn't sure letting him see her was a good idea, but her granddaughter couldn't just— _take the blame_ like _that!_ She _despise_ lynching. It's hard not to hate the despicable practice after being a victim to it.

 _She had to do this._

But…should she come off as _innocent_ first? Or use the authority card? _Ugh_ , there's no predicting the human boy. He was _rash_ , _impulsive_ , but _indecisive_. The _worst_ combination there is out there.

She couldn't turn back now. She has to do _what was right_.

For Star.

Her little girl deserved that at least, after what Eclipsa had caused her to lost.

* * *

"What the _heck_ are you?" he yelled, and the seemingly floating woman winced.

"You are very loud, my boy," she wrinkled her nose in distaste, " _Too_ loud."

" _Grandma!_ " Star laughed in delight, rubbing her face to get rid of the tears, " _How—_ Why are you here? And I thought _I_ was the only one who could see you?"

" _Grandma!?_ "

"Yes, _boy_ ," she sighed. She hated having to repeat herself. _Is this kid's IQ a single digit?_ "I am Eclipsa, Star's ninth great-grandmother. She calls me ' _Grandma'_ for short."

" _Eclipsa?_ " he narrowed his eyes, the name hitting off alarm bells and red flags all over his mind, " _Wait—_ aren't you the _evil_ queen? Eclipsa, the Queen of _Monsters_ or something like that?"

He didn't know ghosts could flush a bright red color in anger like that. Or how they could look so _offended_ without any visible eyebrows.

Or how a ghost could _punch him square in the face._

" _Grandma! What the actual f—_ "

"Now, _listen here_ , you little _entitled_ , _ignorant_ , _arrogant_ piece of _literal human excretion,_ " Eclipsa snarled, her breathing harboured from…adrenaline? "You think you know _shit_ , Earth Parasite? Well, _guess what?_ I won't _fucking_ let you insult me! I've had enough of that _bullshit_ for _hundreds of years_ ; a creature like _you_ will _not_ talk to me like that! You don't deserve my granddaughter, _you hear me?_ " Her eyes were blazing, _feral_ , and he nodded wordlessly, fearing for his life. Star was too _shocked_ to even say anything, "And I'm _not_ the Queen of _Monsters_ , you _dipshit_ , I'm the _Queen of Darkness!_ And it wasn't even _me_ who chose that _fucking_ name; it was those _shitty_ _Mewmans_ who painted up _lies_ about me! And _evil? I'm_ the evil one? You _broke her heart_ , you _prick_ , you have _no rights whatsoever_ to say that _I'm evil_ , you _fucking—_ "

" _Grandma!_ For the love of the Gods, _that's enough!_ " Star yelled, and somehow managed to pull the ghost off Marco, who was coughing blood from his mouth, gulping air greedily, "Oh my _God_ , Marco, _oh shit_ , _are you okay?_ " she ran over to his side and glared at Eclipsa, who merely huffed defensively, her hands folded neatly in the sleeves of her dress. "I'm _so_ _sorry_ , Marco, _she wasn't usually like this—_ "

"Oh, _cut the crap_ , Star," the Queen snapped, "What else did you expect me to do, shake his hand and smile like a _good little doll?_ _He's_ the reason you're like _this_ , dear. He _broke your_ fucking _heart_ , aren't you _supposed_ to be _angry—_ "

" _That_ wasn't what you're here for, Grandma," she narrowed her eyes, "If you're just here to _deck him in the face,_ you would've done that _two days ago,_ " she rubbed his back gently as he tried not to throw up. _Damn_ , the old lady packed a mean punch. " _Why_ are you here?"

Eclipsa stared at the girl and sighed, "I figured out why you kil— _I mean,_ acted like that."

"You _what?_ "

" _By the Gods_ , boy, if you don't _shut up_ I'll _make_ you," she snarled and he flinched back into Star's touch. She shot the older woman a nasty look but the Queen ignored it, " _Now_ , if you all could let me _speak—_ "

"You'd want to make it quick, _Grandma,_ " she said with all the sarcasm she could _possibly_ mutter without being outright _disrespectful_ , "The guards are still on our tails."

"For Gods' sake, _I swear_ , Etheria really is a _moron_ , isn't she?" Eclipsa rubbed the bridge of her nose tiredly, " _Anyway_ , back to the topic…"

"The reason you did… _that_ , my dear, is because you have _corrupted_ magic inside you. Not _pink_ , not _green_ , but a _very curious_ shade of _black_ ,"

" _Black?_ " Marco inquired, "So Star's like one of those, _how'd you call them_ , necromancer?"

" _Diaz,_ " Eclipsa warned, " _One more word_ from you and I will _physically tear you apart_ with my _bare hands._ "

"But aren't you a ghost?"

"I'm a _spirit!_ I can alter my physical form and concentrate matters in specific places. How did you think I managed to _knock you out_ a few seconds earlier?"

"Hey, _for the record_ , I was _unprepared—_ "

"Yeah, _keep telling yourself that,_ " the Queen waved dismissively. Star couldn't help but let out a small chuckle, and the look of betrayal on Marco's face was _hilarious_.

" _Anyway_ , her magic was corrupted partly by Lekmet's failed resurrection, but it was because of her… _negative_ emotions as well. Which was caused by _you_ , you little _brat_ ," she glared at Marco pointedly and he looked away, ashamed, " _Honestly_ , if you didn't reject her, _none of this_ would've happened."

"But I have a girlfriend!" he protested, "What did you expect me to do, _dump Jackie_ just because Star confessed?"

" _Exactly!_ " Eclipsa threw her hand skywards, "Do you have _any idea_ how _lucky_ you were that _you_ caught Star's eyes? Do you know how many royalties would _kill_ to be in your position? And what did _you_ do? You _rejected_ her, because of your _flimsy_ _girlfriend_. And what even _is_ a _girlfriend?_ If that girl isn't worthy of being called your _mate_ or _partner_ , then _kick her out_ to _make room_ for my _precious_ granddaughter! _What are you,_ an _idiot?_ "

" _Grandma!_ " Star cried, " _Please_ , if you're not explaining then _leave!_ You're just making things _worse!_ "

"Eesh, _okay_ , honey," she rolled her eyes a little at the boy's weak display, "Your black magic is created by using _both_ pink and green magic, which means it's _powerful_. _Incredibly_ powerful, yes, but unfortunately, _corrupted_. You _can_ still use your magic, but…"

" _But what?_ " he asked, and she shot him a dirty look, " _Okay_ , sorry, sorry,"

"But the magic is, well, _infectious_ , for lack of a better word. The more you use it, the more you will be _tainted_ , and the effects are… _irreversible._ "

"But _I_ —I _haven't_ used any magic?" Star sounded confused, "And I didn't even _know_ that I _can_ still use magic. I thought I lost _all of it?_ "

"Well, I honestly advise _against_ it, but if the situation calls for it, you _should_ , considering how it's already corrupting you, just slowly if you don't use magic. And, _um_ , I probably should _leave_ , since my presence speeds up the process after all—"

"Wait, _what?_ "

"It's _not_ _intentional_ , dear, I _swear,_ " Eclipsa smiled sadly, "Magic attracts, and I happen to be the _only one_ in the entire multiverse who could use blended magic, well, except for _you_ , of course. Whenever _I'm_ around, it's like a magnet that's stirring your magic trapped inside, and _trust me_ when I say that's _not_ a thing you'd want to happen."

" _But—_ I don't want you to leave—" Star pouted, shaking her head. Marco stared at her, but she didn't pay him any attention. "It— _It's not_ like you're deliberately hurting me, right?"

"I'm not, _sweetheart, I'm not,_ " the Queen smiled fondly at her great-granddaughter. She's _such_ a _treasure_ —this girl. "But if I'm putting you in danger, I— _I can't_ stay around."

"But _I need you!_ I _really_ don't want you to go, _please—_ "

" _Shh,_ " Eclipsa patted her hair reassuringly, "It's alright. I _probably_ won't surface again, but _believe_ me when I say I'll be there for you. I'll be watching, _mon enfant,_ " The Queen's eyes met Marco's chocolate ones and the glare she gave him was nothing short on icy, " _I'll always be watching._ "

"That's all the explanation I have, dear," she smiled warmly, "I believe this is… _farewell._ "

"I'll miss you, Grandma," Star sobbed a little, and his heart melted at the sight of her, "I know we've just met a few days ago, but you're the _best_ Grandma I could ever ask for,"

" _Aww,_ " she laughed, " _Come here_ , you little crybaby,"

"I'm not a crybaby." she pouted, but that only made the old woman's smile grew. She couldn't help it but giggle a bit, too.

"That you aren't, my child. That you aren't."

* * *

Eclipsa disappeared as the sun hit high noon, shimmering rays of light pierced through the branches of the forest. The two women had hugged for awhile before Star decided it was enough and they broke apart, melancholy smiles still lingered on the corners of their mouths when they said goodbye.

He watched her from a distance, still trying to register what just happened.

But she looked so _happy_ ; the _happiest_ he had ever seen her _since—_

…Since after that concert.

The Queen's words swirled in his mind. Was it really _his_ fault? He didn't do _anything_ ; he only wanted to be with _Jackie_ , the _only girl_ he had ever loved…

Was _that_ even _true_ anymore? He kept convincing himself that the affection he felt for the Princess was only _friendship_ , _nothing more_ , _but…_

Seeing her like that, _broken_ and _devastated_ and _pained…_

The only thing on his mind was to numb her bitterness with a kiss.

Sometimes he wondered what her lips would taste like, before remembering that he, in fact, _had_ kissed her once before.

When she tried to kill him.

 _God,_ what _is_ this? He only wanted a _normal_ , _domestic_ romance…

But _nothing_ is normal when she's around.

 _Isn't that why he loves her?_

— _No_ , he didn't _love_ her. _Like_ her. He _likes_ her.

 _As—As a friend._

Yeah, _definitely_. Nothing _more_ , nothing _less_.

A friend.

 _We're not just friends and you fucking know it._

 _God,_ she had sounded so _bitter_. So resigned, full of regrets and unadulterated pain…

 _What was he supposed to do?_

" _Okay_ , Marco," she said and he shook away his depressing train of thoughts. That was a matter for later. They needed to make it to Kelly's first. "I think we should go at night, you know. I can't navigate without a map or a compass, and the lights in the Capital won't go up until sundown. Plus, it's harder to detect us in the darkness."

"But wouldn't security be more tight?" he inquired, "I mean, we are _wanted_ after all, and normally guards at night would be plenty more than in daytime."

"Huh, you're right," she pondered, "Well, _either way_ , the risk is there. If we go now, there's a high chance of getting lost— _hey,_ don't you _dare_ roll your eyes at me; I may say that I know this forest but I haven't been here for _two years,_ you _dumb-dumb_." He rolled his eyes anyway, a smile at his lips and she smiled, too, "But if we go at night, we could get chased, and the risk of _injuring_ ourselves since we couldn't really see anything would be _significantly_ higher, and we don't have any medicine, at least until we reach Kelly."

"Whoa, _breathe_ , Star," he laughed, "It's alright; we'll go at night. I don't want to risk going too far off-course and couldn't make it back to the city anymore."

"Yeah, so should we, maybe, _you know_ , prepare some supplies?" she glanced sideways, " _Are—_ Are you hungry?"

" _God,_ I thought you'd never ask."

* * *

"Marco, look," she called him from across the forest and he scrunched his face. Shouldn't they be a _little_ more _subtle?_ "There's fruit here!"

"Wait, _Star!_ " he ran to her from the river, "Aren't those trees _poisonous?_ Get down from there _now!_ "

She was hanging from a _rather high_ section of the tree, her legs curled around a branch, her _entire body_ hung down. He blushed a _bright crimson_ despite himself when gravity did its work and her dress fell over her torso, and _God,_ he should _fucking look away—_

"Nah, these trees are _fine_ ," she laughed, " _Those_ are poisonous," she pointed vaguely somewhere, but he couldn't concentrate on what she said. His eyes were _glued_ to her pants… _or lack thereof._

" _STAR!_ " he shrieked when the momentary daze was gone, completely forgetting what he had just said about keeping quiet, " _Oh my God_ , you're wearing a _dress_ , _for God's sake, do you want to_ kill _me_ —"

With all the _tiniest_ slimmers of _self control_ he had left, Marco shielded his eyes, right after seeing her turn as _red_ as a freaking _tomato_ , and he was sure that has _nothing_ to do with all the blood gushing down her head.

Her legs gave out and they both _screamed_.

She was _at least ten meters off the ground—_

He felt like he _couldn't breathe—_

Then everything stopped.

She was _hovering_ above him, her short hair flowing in a glowing, black halo. Her entire body bobbled, and her face was nothing but shock. Her _wings—_

Her wings were _large_ , delicate, thin, _powerful_ , flapping gently in the air. There were patterns on them, waves of etched lines on transparent, glimmering membranes. Most of all—

…They were _black._

" _Star!_ " he cried when she landed, too worried to scold her for anything. "Oh my _God_ , are you okay?"

" _I—_ I'm fine," she croaked out, " _What—_ What just happened?"

"Your _wings_ ," he breathed in amazement, " _They—_ They _changed_. They were _purple_ before, weren't they?"

"Yeah. _What the—_ " she turned back and the sight of those _massive_ wings shocked her to speechlessness, " _My Gods._ "

"Star, are you— _sure_ you're okay?" he asked, his fingertips gingerly touched her shoulder.

She turned over to him, a mix of dread and excitement in her tired blue eyes.

" _Marco, I think I just used black magic."_

* * *

 **whoa this is getting intense XD some serious plot going on here lololol**


	13. anchor

**hey guys =)) i know, i know, sorry for my sporadic updates; finals season's coming and i'm insanely busy omg XD but to make it up to you guys, this chapter is incredibly long, like, honestly, it's over 6k; i have never written a 'chapter' this long lol XD**

 **anyway :D i'm getting to the 'comfort' part in the 'hurt/comfort' tag, so treat urself to some extremely self-indulgent starco fluff ^^**

 ***whisper* cause it's not gonna last long lmaoo**

 **i recommend listening to 'Anchor' by Mindy Gledhill for this chapter; to get a better feel while reading and the song's kinda necessary for a scene in this chapter, but i'm not gonna tell you which one lol XD**

* * *

Like the first time she got her wings, they just _had_ to test it out.

"Ah! Marco!" she shrieked excitedly, "Come on; do you think I can fly?"

" _Well_ , you did just float in midair so yeah, I think you're fine."

"Killjoy," she swatted his shoulder playfully, mirth still in her eyes, "Don't let go, Marco!"

Before he could protest, she grabbed his arm and jumped.

Spoiler alert: _It actually worked this time._

They shot into the air and it took his breath away.

" _Whoa,_ " she jerked, adjusting her balance and he let out a shriek that has more similarity with an anime school girl than he's willing to admit, "Careful there, this ride is gonna be—" she huffed a little, swaying in the air, trying to get used to it, "A little _bumpy._ "

" _Star! What the—_ "

The forest from above was… _magnificent_ , to say the least. The sun was high and blazing hot, the wind in his hair soothing and refreshing, her fingers clenching tightly around his forearm, her skin _soft_ and _warm…_

Oh _dear God_ _he was going to fall—!_

"Agh!" he scrambled into her embrace, his nails digging into her flesh and she winced a little, "A little _warning_ next time?" he scowled up at her and she just laughed.

"Marco, _Marco,_ " she lamented dramatically, still in a very playful mood, "What kind of friend would I be if I didn't push you into letting loose and enjoying yourself once in awhile? I mean, _look at this!_ " she gestured towards the horizon and he had to admit, she had a point, "Isn't this _gorgeous?_ "

"Yeah," he said, his eyes stuck on the graceful but mightily strong flaps of her wings, " _Gorgeous_."

"Exactly," she nodded, seemingly very pleased with herself. He smiled to himself. For just a moment, a glimpse of the old Star Butterfly, the one he became best friends with, the nonchalant, happy-go-lucky girl came back, and he didn't realized how much he missed this side of her until it smacked him in the face. She was so beautiful, so _blissfully_ merry, so _happy—_

And _he_ was the one who destroyed it in the first place.

No, _no_. It's— _not_ his fault. Not his fault she has problems with her mother, with Toffee and her kingdom. Not his fault she decided to not tell him about her feelings until she was pushed past the breaking point and everything turned upside down, not his fault she dropped the bomb on him and then left without a single word, making him so _worried_ he had to go find _her—_

Yeah. Not his fault. _Not his fault._

He should _stop_ blaming himself.

"Oh, _Marco,_ " she sing-songed, "I have an _idea_."

And they went higher, _higher_ , so high that he could see nothing but a sea of clouds and a curtain of mist. The scenery was something he'd see on a plane, in the safety of a metal box several thousand meters above sea level—

" _Oh my God!_ " he squeaked, " _D—Don't let go, Star!_ I— _I don't want to die yet!_ " he cried, his fingers around her turned rigid, completely immobile because of the _fear_ and the _unearthly_ _cold_ when they're so high up in the sky _—_

"Silly," she smiled, "I won't let you go,"

And just like that, he relaxed in her arms.

"Hey," she called him, "Do you want to touch the clouds?"

"Huh?" he asked, dumbfounded. Wasn't this… _touching the clouds_ thing a fairytale cliché? He knew that clouds are just _water vapour_ ; what's there to touch?

But again, this is _Mewni_ , a dimension where trees are poisonous and unicorns exist. Not Earth.

"I mean, _sure_ , but—"

" _Okay_ _here you go!_ " she grinned and took his hand, flew next to a fluffy looking cloud and plunged his fingers in.

"W— _What?_ " he exclaimed, his mouth open wide in awe, "How could this be _possible?_ It's just a bunch of _mist…_ "

"Why is it so… _soft?_ " he laughed out loud in joy, mind blown, "It feels like cotton!"

"Welcome to _Mewni_ , my friend," she said in her announcer voice, which, in his opinion, sounded horrible, but he wasn't going to tell her that. She had him hanging in her arms _kilometers_ above ground; he's not stupid or suicidal.

"Go on, give it a taste," she smiled, "Just don't touch the yellow ones. _Trust me_ , they'll give you a run for your money. And not the _good_ kind of run either."

He plucked a tiny piece of a nearby pink cloud and plopped it in his mouth. It was painfully familiar but so utterly _different_ at the same time. It was like _nothing_ he had ever tasted before, but at the same time reminded him of that cotton candy he always got every time he went to a carnival with his parents as a kid.

His face felt uncomfortably hot and something trickled down his eyes.

" _Are_ —Are you okay?" she asked worriedly, her voice soft and sweet, "Do you want to go down?"

"What—" he reached up and wiped a tear from his cheek. _When did that get there?_ "No, _I—_ " he took a shaky breath and tried to calm himself, "I'm fine. But you're right; we should go back down. Your wings must be tired."

"Well, _kinda_ ," she chuckled, "I mean, it feels like I'm jogging and I'd like the exercise, but _yeah_ , I guess. We still need to get some food before we go to Kelly."

" _Wait,_ " he mumbled, "Why couldn't we go to her house now? You could, I don't know, _fly_ us there, could you?"

" _Huh,_ " she tilted her head to the side and he sighed a little at how cute she was, "Never thought about that before. We don't need our old supplies anymore; Kelly got the _good_ stuff. Good thinking, Safe Kid," she shifted her wings and groaned a little, "Ugh, it _aches_. I haven't had a proper workout in _so long_. And this— _wing_ thing is more tiring than I thought."

Well, that made him feel guilty, "Is there anything I can do to help?" he mumbled, a bit worried.

"Yeah," her face scrunched in effort, "Stay still and stop _squirming_ , would you?"

"Oh—Okay…"

* * *

"Psh, Kelly. _Kelly!_ " Star whispered from their spot inside the bushes. They had to pull off an emergency landing when Star's wings started to cramp and the guards patrolling around the outskirts of the Capital started noticing them. People have been actively searching for them now, hurried footsteps and shouts of orders made them too afraid to go airborne again. Luckily, Star spotted Kelly walking to the market and had been trying to grab the aquamarine haired girl's attention ever since.

"Huh?" Thank _God,_ she noticed them, " _Wait,_ " The girl peered into the thick bushes, "What are you doing here? Why are you a _wanted criminal?_ " she started to freak out a little, "Why is your _hair_ _short?_ "

"Hush, Kelly," Star reassured one of her best friends, "It's a long story; I'll explain…later. Can I—"

"Hide in my house? _Of course!_ " Kelly quickly let her hair down from the pony tail she was wearing, "Uh, but I think I can only hide one of you in here," she turned over and whispered to the bushes, "That's _Marco_ with you, right? He's on the black list too. Just posted this morning."

"Goddammit, I'm _wanted_ now?" he cursed under his breath, "Wait, how much am I worth?"

Star glared at him and he shut up, "That's not important, Marco," she scowled, "Okay, do you think you can get him over to your place? I'll fly there by myself."

"Wait, _fly?_ " Kelly blinked, "You can _fly_ now?"

" _Totally,_ " she grinned, "Check _these_ out," Her black wings came out and she gawked in awe.

" _Wicked,_ " Kelly laughed, but he shushed her, "Okay then, Marco. Hold on tight and _whatever_ you do, _don't_ go out of my hair." He looked like he wanted to complain.

"This is so weird." By the Gods, he actually had the _guts_ to complain.

Star rolled her eyes at him, "I _know_ , but that's how we are, so _deal with it._ "

He slipped into the mass of aquamarine hair without another word.

"Okay? You covered him?" he heard her voice, muffled from the thick curtains around him.

"Yeah, totes," the girl turned over to his best friend and miraculously, not even an _inch_ of him showed.

They tested a few steps and like it was magic, _synced_. His legs moved by themselves, following Kelly's movements. Honestly, if he wasn't so intrigued, he'd be freaked out right about now.

"See you there, B-Fly," Kelly waved to Star and the girls exchanged a look that Marco didn't catch, being covered in hair and everything.

The walk back was the longest one he had ever experienced.

* * *

" _Whoa,_ " Star huffed, came barging in the living room, "That was _close._ "

Marco stopped his nervous pacing and ran over, catching her in his arms and hugged her tight, " _Star!_ What the heck; you scared the _shit_ out of me! You were supposed to be here half an hour ago; what happened?"

"I'm _fine_ , Marco," she rolled her eyes at him and he let her go, a bit embarrassed by the giggles Kelly couldn't contain, "Just got chased by a few _guards_ , that's all. _Apparently_ , shooting their Princess with a crossbow and arrows was the _brightest_ idea they've had all day," she huffed, and tried to clean herself up.

Marco eyed her reluctantly. She looked scruffy, bits of tree leaves sticking out from her short, dirty hair. There was a long torn on her dress, all the way up her left thigh, and he couldn't _look away_ , even if he tried.

" _Uh,_ " he mumbled something illegible, "Do you want to, I don't know, clean up first?" he offered, but she caught a whiff of him and winced a little, apologetic.

" _No offense,_ Marco," Kelly spoke up before Star even had the chance to say anything, "But you smell like a _dumpster_. You should go take a shower and, you know, try to wash out that smell? Not sure you'd hit a success, but it's worth a try. Bathroom's down the hall, take a left turn. Everything's there already. I got you Tad's cousin's clothes; should fit," she shook her head and grabbed Star's arm, "And _you_ , B-Fly, you've got _a lot_ to fill me in on."

"Okay, _okay,_ " she laughed, "But can you at least give me a sandwich or something? I'm _literally_ _starving_ here."

The girls left for the garden and Kelly slammed the door, leaving him alone with his thoughts.

 _Star…_

He wouldn't—mind if she didn't change into something else…The scruffy look on her was _spot on_ —

 _No!_ He groaned and rubbed his face.

 _Get your shit together, Marco Diaz._

* * *

"Okay, _spill,_ " Kelly folded her arms once they got out of the house, "Why are you here with _him?_ Why are you _wanted?_ And where's the Queen?"

"Slow down, _slow down,_ " Star raised a hand meekly, being bombarded with questions as soon as they're in private, "I'll answer them, but one at a time, please."

"Alright. How about you start with _what the heck_ happened?"

The blonde girl sighed. This is going to be a _very long day._

* * *

He sighed gratefully when the scalding hot water hit his shoulder. _Ah_ , so this is what _pure bliss_ felt like.

Marco found several kinds of shampoo on the shelves, but weirdly enough, none of them are for men. _Tad_ lives here, no? Shouldn't he has, _like_ , a ton of shampoo? He's mostly hair, after all. Or are those called _shower gel_ , since he's putting them on his entire body?

 _Ugh, bad shower thoughts, Marco._

He picked one that smelled like strawberry and squirted a generous amount on his head. Who knew when he'd get the chance to take a shower again? It's not like they can _stay_ here; if he wants to go home then they need to find Toffee.

Or they could just be stuck here _forever_.

He shook his head. _No, think better thoughts._ They're going to make it back home one day.

 _Would she even want to go back with him?_

Too much trouble. He couldn't focus with all this steam on his face. He needed to cool down.

Besides, the water dousing on him was more than enough.

He stepped out of the shower, a towel wrapped around his waist. Eyes searching for the clothes Kelly mentioned, he spotted a bundle of cloth folded neatly, sitting on a counter.

He cursed under his breath as he picked up the thin red sweater, the surprising appearance of double-striped shorts, and a scarf. A _freaking scarf._

It was _stuffing_ _hot_ outside.

 _Jesus_. This is going to be unbearable.

* * *

" _Wait_ , you're telling me _he_ did this to you?"

"No, _no_ ," Star denied immediately, "It's my fault. _My_ fault."

"Don't give me that _bullcrap_ , Star," Kelly snapped, "If he didn't _hurt_ you, then you would've been _fine!_ You would've been having _fun_ in the dimension you love!" she stopped a bit as if considering whether she should say the next thing on her mind, "Your _mother_ would still be alive."

"It's _not_ his fault," she protested, "I should've gave up on him as soon as he got together with Jackie. It's all because I couldn't control my feelings. _He_ didn't do anything."

Kelly stared at her, a sad look in her eyes. But Star stood there, determined to prove that no, it's not Marco's fault. He was merely living and having a good time with his girlfriend. _She_ dragged him into this.

The long haired girl sighed and pulled her into a hug, "You're too nice for your own good, you know that, right?" Star laughed a little and squeezed her friend tight, seeking for any comfort she could get.

"What can I say?" she smiled genuinely when Kelly let go of her, "I was born that way."

They both laughed and for the first time in what seemed like forever, she actually felt safe and loved.

"Now let's go inside," Kelly yawned and stretched, "I think your BFF is done cleaning up," she grinned at Star," Let's hope we can breathe again, eh?"

* * *

He was downing a cup of water when they walked in.

Star was the first one to laugh, "Why are you dressing like that? It's _burning_ out there,"

"Hey, _I_ didn't get to choose my clothes," he shot Kelly a dirty look, "Ask your little _friend_ over there."

"Hey, don't look at me," she shrugged, "Tad's cousin had only came here like, what, _two_ times? You're _lucky_ he forgot his clothes."

"Wait, where's Tad?"

Kelly's face turned sour. Star got it immediately, "It's alright, Kel. You're better off without that _wig_."

"Yeah," the girl nodded, " _Yeah_ , you're right. I think I'm gonna get a haircut as well. I mean, it worked _so_ _well_ on you."

" _Aww_ , thanks," she smiled, and for a few seconds, Marco couldn't help but stared at her. She looked so _beautiful_ smiling, being happy. He had taken moments like this for granted, and didn't even realized how much he had missed them until they're gone.

Someone cleared their throat in a less than subtle way and he startled. _They_ — _They noticed?_ Star was grinning at him and he could feel the hot blush spreading across his face. _God_ , out of everything that could've happened, he got caught _staring_ at her.

" _Anyway_ ," Kelly said, saving him from the embarrassment, "B-Fly, you should go take a shower. I have my clothes in there for you already. Second shelf from the top, okay?"

"Yeah," she replied, already starting to walk inside the house, "Thanks, Kel."

"No problem."

As soon as the bathroom door closed, however, she turned over to him and he swallowed nervously despite himself.

"And _you_ , Diaz," Kelly narrowed her eyes, " _You and I_ are going to have a little… _chat._ "

Ah, _shit._

* * *

The first ones appeared on her chest, right where her heart would be.

She had stared at them for solid minutes before jumping in the shower, panicking, trying frantically to wash them out.

No, _no_ , this _couldn't be—_

But it didn't come out. She rubbed her skin raw and red, until they felt so tender and it looked like she might bleed any second, but despite her effort, it did _nothing_. She cried, she _wept_ silently, gasping for air desperately.

She _couldn't—It couldn't be—_

Star Butterfly collapsed again, curling up to herself.

She couldn't scream, couldn't call for help.

She was alone.

The inky cracks were already _nicked_ into her skin, swirls of black lines, laced with symbols and what looked like ancient Mewman writings.

They're spreading like a deadly plague, slowly invading her soft, white skin, and it didn't take a genius to figure out what they were supposed to mean.

A warning. How much time she has left.

 _Corruption._

* * *

"Your turn," Kelly rolled her eyes at him, "I already asked Star, so if your stories don't match, I'm kicking you out."

" _Me?_ Why _me?_ " he protested indignantly.

"Cause _she's_ my friend. _You?_ I _hardly_ know you, and you already hurt her more than _any guy_ is allowed to," said her, finger pointing at him, accusing, "So start talking."

He sighed, "Fine. But just so you know, I have _no idea_ she felt that way about me."

And he told Kelly everything, from when things were great and Jackie had just become his girlfriend, to that _damned_ Love Sentence concert, and then it just went downhill from there.

Kelly nodded thoughtfully, "It seems…plausible. But that doesn't excuse you from hurting my friend."

"I didn't do _anything!_ " he snapped, "So being happy with my girlfriend is a _crime_ now? I'm supposed to _pay for it_ by a _lifetime_ exile to a dimension almost _no one_ on Earth _knows_ about?"

She seemed speechless, and he decided not to push his luck any further.

" _Look,_ " he sighed, "I just want to fix this. I _want_ to go home, but leaving Star here is _not_ going to be an option. I have to _fix_ this. Fix her." he told Kelly, his tone fueled with undeterred determination.

Her eyes gleamed with something he couldn't name.

"I get why she loves you now," she smiled softly, understanding, making him flustered as all hell, "But I have a word of advice for you, Diaz," her previously fixated glare softened, "Be careful when you try to fix someone, for you risk breaking them even more."

With that, she patted him on the back and went inside the house, the silly, almost genuine smile still lingering on her lips.

He stood there, baffled, mulling over her words.

 _She was right._

* * *

"Star?" Kelly's voice echoed across the house, "Where are you?"

She couldn't stop the choked sobs escaping her throat.

" _Star?_ " the voice rang again, a bit more worried this time, "Are you still in the bathroom? Girl, I know you want a nice, long bath, and honestly, you _deserve_ it, but we _kinda_ need to talk about something now. Do you guys have a plan to break the barrier on Mewni? Cause I can think of a few places you could go to find help."

She tried desperately to quiet herself, gasping for air and clamping her mouth with a hand, muffling any cries that her lungs furiously coughed up.

"Star?"

No answer.

"Star? Are you in there?"

He was the one who called her this time.

She thought about the little time she has left and how she wouldn't be able to spend it with him like she _oh so_ wanted to.

She really shouldn't be crying this much.

A loud, uncontrollable sob wracked her body, leaving it trembling and she heard a gasp.

"Star— _oh my God,_ she's _crying,_ " he banged on the door, and she whimpered, "Kelly, do you have a key for this?" Another voice said something hushed and there were hurried footsteps thumping on the wooden floor.

He was outside, pressing his ear to the door in hope of getting some reaction from her.

"Star, _sweetie,_ _please,_ you _don't have to—_ " His tongue was tied, and he momentarily ran out of words to say. She shook her head despite knowing he wouldn't be able to see her.

At this point, there was nothing he could say that she hadn't heard from him already.

She was _tired_ , she was _sick._

 _She was dying._

More hushed whispers, the click of a lock.

The door slammed open and she buried her face in her knees, eyes hurting from the intense light outside.

" _Oh my God_ —hey, _hey!_ " someone shouted, "Whoa, _whoa_ , _what's wrong?_ _Oh my God—_ " A pair of arms circled her shoulders and pulled her close, "Hey, _hey_ , _shh_ , hey, look at me, _look at me,_ " She cried even harder, " _Shh_ , what's wrong? What happened to you? _Are you hurt?_ " A hand glided over her hair soothingly, " _Oh my God_ , are you okay? _Hey—_ " the same voice shushed her, their fingers tightened around her arms and she felt secured, "Hey, look at me. _Look at me_. _What's wrong?_ Tell me what's wrong. I can't _help_ you if you don't tell me what's wrong, Princess."

It was _Marco_. She shook her head furiously.

"You don't know? What do you mean you don't know?"

She _knew_. She _just—_

 _Couldn't say it out loud._

" _Shh_ , don't cry, _don't cry_. I'm right here. _Look, I'm right here,_ " he lifted her chin gently and she reluctantly opened her eyes. There was a frenzy of unadulterated _fear_ on his face, bordering on panicking. His _eyes_ , however, were snapped shut. " _It's okay,_ I'm here. _I'm here._ _No one's_ gonna hurt you. I'm _right here_ with you, _okay? I've got you right here._ "

She could feel even more tears streaming down her face.

"You tell me what's wrong, okay?"

" _I—_ " she stammered, and he went silent, " _I—death—tattoos_ —time— _little time left—_ "

She broke down crying again.

" _Okay, okay,_ " he assured her immediately, hands clutching her even closer, "You don't have to tell me a full story— _you don't have to_ —you don't have to _explain_ _anything_ right now, okay? Just— _come here._ Come here," he pressed a small kiss to her forehead, " _It's alright._ "

" _Shh, don't cry,_ don't cry. I'm _right here_. _No one's gonna hurt you_. I'm right here. I'm _not leaving._ _Just—_ You can cry, for _as long as you want,_ okay? I'm _not_ going anywhere. I'm _not_ gonna leave you. I'm _here_ now."

"I don't know when this _whole thing_ started, but— _I'm here now._ _It's okay, Star._ I've got you close. _I've got you close_. _Nothing else_ is gonna happen. Just— _calm down._ It's _all over now._ It's _over._ There's no need to be scared anymore."

They sat on the bathroom floor, rocking back and forth together, with him occasionally mumbling words of comfort in the shell of her ear.

And she believed him.

* * *

An hour passed by and he managed to calm her down. Marco coaxed her into leaving the bathroom, going outside and _maybe_ tell them what happened.

She finally had her fill of crying. Rubbing her eyes tiredly, she straightened her back and he jerked, eyes immediately shut tight again.

" _M—Marco_?" she asked, worried. _Had she done something wrong again?_

 _"_ _I—_ uh, I'll _just—_ wait _outside…_ " A furious blush dominated his face, and he tripped on his feet several times. " _You should—_ " he stopped on his track at the doorway, eyes opened but refusing to even _look_ at her direction, " _Uh,_ should I— _call Kelly?_ Do you have, _um—clothes…_ yet?"

 _Oh my fucking God._

Star stared at the reflection of herself in the mirror by the sink.

Skin, _skin_ , and _even more skin._

Needless to say, she wasn't wearing _anything_.

She covered her face and groaned, _painful_.

He scampered out of the room before she could say anything to embarrass herself even further.

Not like it was _possible_ , though.

* * *

" _So,_ " Kelly started, "I hope you guys didn't, um, _trash_ my bathroom."

" _What?_ _No!_ " Star panicked, her voice at least an _octave_ higher than usual, "We didn't do anything!"

"Right…"

"What was _that_ supposed to mean?!"

" _Star—_ " Marco interrupted them gently, his eyes staring deep into her soul, "I hate to be _that_ guy, but I'm _really_ worried about you. Tell me, _please_. What happened?"

Silence filled the room and Kelly seemed to get the message.

"I'll, _uh_ , go check with my other…acquaintances. They might have an idea as to what you guys can do to go back to Earth."

" _Stay here,_ " she told him, her voice stern and full of command, "Keep an eye on her. Don't go _anywhere._ "

Star was sitting in the chair next to the fireplace, staring intently into the flame, seemingly lost in her own thoughts.

His eyes were on hers once again and she couldn't look away.

"Marco, _I—_ " she began, but the words were stuck and sticky in her throat. She swallowed, trying to get that lumps of emotion to _go away_ , but to no avail.

" _It—_ It's okay," he forced a smile, "You don't have to tell me anything yet. But just so you'd know, I _want_ to help you. _I really do._ But I can't if I don't know what's wrong."

And that somehow undone her.

"There were these… _tattoos,_ " she mumbled, "They started from my heart, and they are _spreading_. _I—_ I started using black magic on the wings, and I unleashed the magic. The corruption _shows_ now, Marco," she said desperately, "These _tattoos…_ they're signs as to how much _time_ I have left. And when you see it, _oh Gods,_ I don't have much time."

He was silent for a few agonizing moments, shocked to speechlessness, and _oh Gods, she made the mistake—he wouldn't want to stay with her now—she's_ nothing _but a burden to his goal—_

"Oh _Star,_ " he snatched her into a hug, "I— _I'm so sorry._ "

"I don't need your _pity_ , Marco," she snapped a little, turning defensive. If pity was what he was going to offer her, she has no taste for it.

" _No,_ it— _it's not pity,_ " he corrected himself, holding her at an arm's length so he could look her in the eye, "I _just—God,_ I didn't _know…_ "

He gathered her in his arms again and they just sat there together for a long moment.

"H— _Hey,_ " he began, but she didn't look at him, "Are you okay now?" he fidgeted with the sleeves of his sweater, nervous.

Silence shrouded them. He was unsure of what to say or how to react. _If he said the wrong thing…_

Kelly's warning came crashing back to him and he _shut his mouth._

But no matter how much he tried to push away his messed up thoughts, the image of her bare back, _smooth_ skin going on for long, _endlessly long_ plains, the muscles _rolling_ and _moving_ with her every breath…

 _Stop, Marco, you_ fucking _pervert._

" _I—_ " she muttered, and his attention immediately zoned in on her, "I didn't think I only have so much time left," she turned over to him, tears brimming in her eyes, "I _don't want this,_ Marco, I _don't—_ "

" _Shh,_ " he rushed over and enclosed her in his arms, holding her tight, "It's going to be alright. _We—_ We'll _figure it out._ There _must_ be a way to cure you—"

She shook her head, "It's no use, Marco," she sobbed into his chest, " _We—_ Not even _Grandma_ had seen something like this," A choked sound escaped her throat and she looked up blearily, " _Something like me._ "

"Hey, don't be— _don't be like that,_ " his eyes searched the little cozy living room, _desperate_ for something to distract her from the crushing realization. His gaze landed on the little phonograph sitting on a coffee table, and a smile lifted the corner of his mouth.

"Do you, _uh…_ " he held her at shoulder length, eyes searching her and looking like he was rethinking his question, "Do you want to dance?"

She blinked a few times at his absurd request and laughed. _That_ alone was worth the effort and embarrassment, "But I'm awful," she said.

"What are you talking about? _First of all_ , you're a _Princess_. Second of all, we've _dance before,_ remember?"

 _God,_ did she remember that night.

Seeing the uncertainty still lingering on her features, he relaxed a little and took her hands, "We'll go slow."

She smiled at him after what felt like an eternity and he walked over to the old machine, _praying_ that Kelly has some decent song.

The disk made a pleasant scratchy noise and started to turn when he came back to her.

"Shall we, my Lady?" he joked, bowing down, eyes looking into her own blue ones and the faintest of blushes dusted her cheeks pink. She looked mortified for a second, like something suddenly hit her hard and fast, before recovering and took his hand, a grateful sigh relieved her entire tense body.

The first notes came up and he winced a little. A _waltz_. He was never good with _that_ type of dancing. But he guessed it should at least be something fitting for a _Princess_ , after all.

 _'_ _When all the world is spinning 'round,'_

He pulled her close, gingerly placing a hand on her waist. She put one hand in his and the other rested on his shoulder. They swayed, barely moving to the music.

 _'_ _Like a red balloon way up in the clouds,'_

She stared at him, something unexplainable in her eyes. It's not sadness, nor fear, nor uncertainty. He wasn't sure what it was, and honestly, was slightly _afraid_ of finding out.

 _'_ _And my feet will not stay on the ground,'_

They spun across the room together, occasionally bumping into several objects and shared a few somewhat awkward laughs. But they didn't let that stop them from having this moment to the fullest.

 _'_ _You anchor me back down.'_

She smiled at him, grateful, _happy_ , as if somehow a simple dance with him could solve her problems and push away all of her bad thoughts.

He could feel himself melting under her gaze.

 _'_ _I am nearly world renowned,'_

Her eyes were so _beautiful_. He spun her when the music was _just right,_ and she let out a hearty laugh. Tears were drying themselves on her face, and he was glad. He _never_ wanted to see her cry again.

 _'_ _As a restless soul who always skips town.'_

He vaguely remembered the first time they danced together. It hasn't even been a proper waltz; just the music and nothing else. They didn't dance the way they were _supposed_ to, didn't follow the beat, the flow, didn't actually _care_ , to be honest. Dancing with her was something _different_ , something _magical_ , something _nostalgic_.

He missed _this_ , missed when she would let down her guard, break her walls and open up to him. No more masks, no more diplomatic fake smiles, no more lies, no more secrets. _Just them_. Like the good old days, before any of this ever happened.

Sometimes, if he imagined it hard enough, could be delusional _just a little more_ , it almost felt like the truth.

 _'_ _But I look for you to come around,'_

And even though the dance had come to an abrupt and honestly a little _violent_ end, he had enjoyed it. He was sure she had, too, for they had talked about the dance a few times after he made her nachos that night, and the slight blush evident on her face when he presented her the steaming bowl should've been the _clearest_ sign he had ever received from her liking him.

Looking back, he was _such an idiot._

 _'_ _And anchor me back down.'_

 _It's not my fault,_ he reminded himself. She made it _clear_ that she wanted him as _nothing_ more than a _friend_ ; why would he _assume_ that she likes him? She probably wasn't even _interested_ in him back then; what was stopping him from dreaming about Jackie?

 _'_ _There are those who think that I'm strange,'_

She looked a bit reluctant at the change of emotion and the sudden bitterness on his face. He didn't even realized that they had stopped dancing until she gently tapped his shoulder and mouthed a soft _'Are you okay?'_ He startled a little before smiling down at her again, but this time it didn't quite reach his eyes.

 _'_ _They would box me up and tell me to change,'_

" _Marco,_ " she whispered, " _I—_ I understand that you're uncomfortable. I don't blame you. _We can—I'll just…_ "

She left his embrace and the lost of her warmth woke him up.

 _'_ _But you hold me close and softly say;'_

"Don't go," he told her, his hands slowly pulling her back to him. She resisted a little, looking winded and hurt, "I—I'm sorry for that. Just some nasty thoughts surfacing; nothing to do with you. Can we continue, please?"

He lied through his teeth and _prayed_ that she wouldn't be able to tell.

 _'_ _That you wouldn't have me any other way.'_

" _I—_ " she began, but he shushed her and swayed them both to the soft, comforting waltz, trying his best to fit the role of a Prince Charming worthy of her affection.

But she wasn't one to be easily fooled.

" _Marco,_ " she said his name in that serious, tired tone, and the smile on his face died. _She knew._

 _'_ _When people pin me as a clown,'_

" _Please, just—_ Tell me what's wrong?" she asked, her eyes pleading.

He couldn't look into those eyes.

 _God,_ why did she has to make this so hard? It would've been easier, _way easier,_ for her to just stay _angry_ at him, not speaking, not _interacting_. He would've even been _fine_ with her rage. _This?_

This is too close. Too _intimate_. Too _tempting_.

 _Too close._

 _'_ _You behave as though I'm wearing a crown.'_

It would've freed his mind if she acted jealous, _even just a little._ Instead, she seemed to still want him to be with Jackie, which _confused_ him to no end. Didn't Star _love_ him? She had said so herself, less than twenty four hours ago.

Then _why was she doing this?_ Sacrificing _everything_ for him, protecting him, _loving_ him? Why all the affection, attention, devotion? _What was it all for?_

 _'_ _When I'm lost I feel so very found,'_

"Marco…" she called his name again and he stared at her. There was something about her that he couldn't explain, couldn't understand, couldn't, _for the life of him,_ figure it out. But that _something_ attracted him. That something made his life _interesting_ , _adventurous_. That something gave him that _spark_ of excitement he had always wanted to have in his life.

That something made him _like_ her.

He wouldn't go as far as to say he _loves_ her; after all, _Jackie's_ still waiting for him back on Earth—

 _No._

He couldn't betray his _girlfriend's_ trust! He needed to be _faithful_ , _loyal_ ; this was the girl he had been _hopelessly_ loving ever since he started to have memories! This girl, who has been the _only_ person he desires for a decade. This girl, who's worrying sick about him _at this very moment_ , and there's _nothing_ he could do to soothe her.

This girl, who's _in love with him._

 _'_ _When you anchor me back down.'_

But what about _Star?_ She saved his life _numerous_ times, sometimes by giving up something dear to her heart, others by putting _her own life_ on the line to rescue him and bring him back to safety. She was his _friend_ ; the kind he had always wanted, the kind he had never had before, the kind whom he knew he could _trust_.

And _by God's name,_ does she love him.

 _'_ _There are those who think that I'm strange,'_

"Marco, _please,_ just— _Talk to me?_ Are you okay?" Her voice woke him up again, " _Did—_ Did I do something wrong?"

 _'_ _They would box me up and tell me to change.'_

"N— _No,_ " he managed, "It's alright. _I just—_ need some air," he tugged the scarf around his face even closer to block out the pained look on her face.

The feeling of guilt rose in his stomach and he tried to push it down.

…Didn't work.

 _'_ _But you hold me close and softly say;'_

The door clicked open and he left the room, closing it quietly behind him. The music was still going on, and she sighed to herself. _God,_ she should've never said yes. This whole idea was _disastrous_ ; why did she ever think that he would eventually love her like she had always wanted?

She was _naive_ and an _idiot._

She was of no use to him or anyone else.

She was _useless_. She was _dying_.

 _'_ _That you wouldn't have me any other way.'_

 _She was nothing._

* * *

 **ooooh snap i hope you enjoyed that dance scene *eyebrow wiggle* it's the beginning of something new, y'all**

 **their adventure is timed now, cause in my experience, giving stuff a deadline always makes it better lmaooo**


	14. strangers and apologies

**guys guys i am SO sorry for updating this late ;-; i've been hitting a MASSIVE block and it sucks, honestly. plus, my finals are two days from now, and i was barely able to type this out XD this chapter is a bit short (actually it's my average length; it's just that recently i wrote super freaking long chapters lol) but it's PACKED with plot and developments :)) feel free to speculate if you want ^^**

 **p/s: have you SEEN that promo? TWO HOURS. TWO FUCKIGN HOURS OMFG I CANT BREATHE**

 **pp/s: i put in a quote from the teaser here; see if you can find it ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)**

 **warning: some one-sided moonxtoffee. apologies if this wasn't what you came here for; it was kinda important for the plot, to explain stuff :3**

 **enjoyyy**

* * *

Okay. _Okay_. He's _ready_. He can _do this._

Marco cringed. _No, no he can't._ How in _hell_ was he supposed to figure out whether he loves Star or _not?_ The lines between them have long since been blurred, and it's getting harder and harder each day to get it in his mind that she's only a _friend_. Nothing more, nothing less.

He loves Jackie. _End. Of. Discussion._

He was _sure_ — _God_ , he was _so sure_ that Jackie was the only person he would _ever_ love…until Star showed up. She brightened his days and gave his life a brand new meaning.

He and Star…they just had _a lot_ going on for them at the moment.

He'd rather be blunt with himself; they only need each other as emotional crutches, providing comfort for one another when they needed it the most. Their… _love_ was one born out of desperation, anxiety and the sheer _relief_ when you found someone who understands what you're going through. It's not the sweet, innocent childhood crush that slowly turned into burning passion. It's not the casual, flustered hand-holding or snuggling together for a late movie night. It's not the passionate albeit a little goofy kisses, not the fluttery feeling of butterflies in your stomach. _No._

It's one filled with nothing but frenzied worry, so many raw emotions, pain and bitterness that it felt—

 _Impossible_.

It's one that so _fragile_ , broken and so _wrong_ that it seemed like they would be better off if it _didn't exist._

But a love like that isn't so easy to just shake it off.

They've been through _so much_ together. Started their relationship as friendship; the _closest_ type of friendship you could _possibly_ find. It's not their fault that things… _escalated_ , and spiraled out of their control.

They had a _history_ together. Adventures, near-death experiences, things that no one could possibly fathom _except for them._ They had been ready to _die_ in each other's arms in that Gift Card incident. How could you _possibly_ set that aside and ignore the feelings of that special person who had saved your _life_ more times than you could count?

Yeah, he didn't _think so._

Marco took a deep breath. He needed to _calm down_ and _think_ this through.

She must be so confused, waiting inside for him. _He—_ He _fucked up,_ leaving like _that_. She's bound to misunderstand him.

He pulled at the back of his sweater out of habit but then realized that he wasn't wearing his hoodie. Marco sighed and stuffed his hands in his pants pockets. The feeling was… _alien_ at best.

It's not like he didn't like the new outfit; it's pretty cool. A thin, soft and finely knitted red sweater that ended right below his waist, with a pair of black sweatpants with two white stripes on either side. The black scarf with slim red stripes was handy, too; it's not too stuffing and he enjoyed it.

Overall, he could live in this.

 _Now's not the freaking time to be fashionable, Marco,_ he scolded himself, _You have to go in and_ explain yourself _to her. That's the least you could do._

He barely managed a step before collapsing back on the bench under a tree. _God,_ why was it so hard? It's just _talking_ , and to _Star_ out of all people—it should come to him as easy as a second nature…

What he wouldn't give for things to go back to the way they were before any of this ever happened.

* * *

It's been half an hour.

She fidgeted with the hem of her striped sweater, didn't know what to do. She could barely make out his figure still pacing the garden, frustration on his face.

Had she done something wrong?

She was _weak_ for a moment and _that was it._ She ruined their fragile relationship, tipped the delicate balance but not towards her favor. She _messed up_ ; she messed up _bad…_

"Hey," a voice said behind her and she whipped her head back, "Where's Marco?" Kelly asked. Noticing the sour look on Star's face, her own cheerful expression fell and she growled, "That _little—_ He's dead. That's _it_ ; he's f _ucking dead._ No one messes with my friend."

"Kel, _no,_ " she held back her raging friend, " _It's—_ It was my fault."

" _For the love of the Gods, Star,_ " Kelly threw her hands on the air, exasperated, "Stop _blaming_ yourself! _You—_ You're _not_ guilty—Have you ever _notice_ how much he _hurts_ you? And he's just gonna _get away with it, scots free,_ just because you're _in love with him?_ " The blonde girl was silent, " _Yeah,_ that's what I _fucking_ thought."

"Kelly, _just…_ leave it," The look on the other girl's face was alarming, so Star quickly justified, "I made him uncomfortable. No matter what you said, it was my fault. He _just—_ needed a little time, that's all," Kelly looked skeptical, "Besides, it wouldn't help if you interfere. _I—_ This is _our_ problem; we're gonna take care of it," she stumbled over her feet to hug Kelly, "But thanks…" The girl raised her eyebrow in confusion,

" _For—_ caring about me." Star explained.

"What're you _talking_ about?" she laughed, " _Of course_ I care about you. You're my _friend_ , remember?"

And for that little peaceful moment, a single reassurance that someone cares about her was enough.

* * *

"Okay, so I've asked a couple of acquaintances in the castle—"

"Wait, _in the castle?_ " Marco questioned. He was back in the living room, but kept to himself in a corner, far away from the girls, "You told them we're _here?_ "

" _Of course_ not," Kelly rolled her eyes, "My sources are reliable and loyal, and they're rooting for the Princess as well, not her shitty _uncle_." Star visibly shook when she mentioned Heartrude, and he passed her a comforting look. He wished he could've done better than that, but he was too scared to let himself come close to her again, "There's a possibility of a rebellion here after the Queen died. The throne had been passed down from mother to daughter; it has _always_ been a matriarchy, and now these _douchebags_ wanted to change it to patriarchy? The people are _absolutely_ outrageous about it."

"A _rebellion?_ What do they want?" asked Star, her voice careful and cautious.

"To either put _you_ back on the throne, or elect another person," Kelly told her, "Basically _anyone_ but Heartrude."

"Why do people hate him so much?" Marco said, "I _mean_ , I get it that he's a megalomaniacal _asshole_ , but it's not like he showed that side _in public…_ right?"

"You don't know _anything_ yet, you clueless boy," Kelly shook her head slightly, "He's been scheming to be _King_ ever since his mother, Etheria, decided to use her Butterfly blood and reconnect with the royal family. _Literally_ _everyone_ could see their malicious intentions, but the Queen and King refused to believe it and just—kick them out of the castle already," the girl smiled a little, "Your parents were too _kind_ for their own good, Star. _Look where it got them_."

"Wait, _reconnect?_ " he narrowed his eyes. There was something much _darker_ lurking in the shadows here, "What do you mean?"

"Great-aunt Etheria was originally a Butterfly, until she married a Duke from the Waterfolk Kingdom," Star explained, "They were our nemesis. We've been waging war on them for a long time now, until my great-grandmother came and arranged for a member of our family to marry a Waterfolk royalty, in trade for a peace treaty. And that chosen person was the back then Queen's unlucky younger daughter, Etheria."

"Sit, Diaz," Kelly yawned and stretched her arms, "This is going to be a long story."

He flopped down on the couch and watched Star intently.

"Etheria was the second Princess, daughter of Queen Harmonia the Peacekeeper. Her other sister was Estelle, the future Queen of Mewni. Because Etheria was the _younger_ one, she knew she had to work _twice as hard_ to even be _considered_ a possible heir. So, _undeniably_ , Etheria was the wittier, the smarter, the more… _determined_ one out of the two. She knew what she wanted, and would stop at _nothing_ to get it. She was _so sure_ that the throne would be _hers_ to take."

"But the war with the Waterfolk Kingdom derailed all of her plans. Her mother needed to send _someone_ to make sure the Waterfolk kept their part of the treaty, and _suddenly_ , being the most manipulative person in the entire Butterfly family didn't seem like a good thing to Etheria."

"She was sent across the dimension, and had to marry the Waterfolk King's slightly idiotic brother. She was _livid_. Bitter and angry and driven as hell to come back one day. _Everyone_ knows that."

"Her sister, Estelle, got the throne. Grandma was a kind woman, charming and full of mercy. Just what the Butterfly Kingdom needed after the war. _Decades_ later, she welcomed Etheria back with open arms after she passed the Kingdom to Moon, my mother. Etheria came back with Heartrude in tow, still a young man, nearly twenty, _dangerously_ ambitious. He believed that the throne was supposed to be _his_ , seeing as how his own _mother_ was supposed to be the _Queen_ , not Estelle. He was taught by Etheria to be _prideful_ of the Butterfly blood in him, and thought of himself as _superior_ to everyone else because of it."

"They tried to gain my mother's favor by continuously stressing the _importance_ of the Butterfly bloodline and belittling the Johansen side of our family. She prompted her to remarry to a man of Butterfly blood, but Etheria underestimated my parents' love for each other," Star teared up a little and Kelly rubbed her back reassuringly, "My mother defended the Johansens and got wary of the two of them since after that incident. Once again, their plan didn't work out."

"So now that my mother is… _gone_ , and my father's reputation is decreasing, she's wreaking havoc, _demanding_ to put her son on the throne."

"Well that's going to be _difficult_ ," Marco snorted, "It's not easy to make Heartrude King now that he's _dead_."

" _Wait,_ what do you _mean?_ " Kelly interrupted, "He's _dead?_ _How come I didn't know this?_ "

A silence surrounded them and the tension grew, _so thick_ that you could practically cut it with a knife. Kelly looked over to Star and Marco for an answer and with the way Star kept glancing sideways and refusing to look into her eyes, her confusion slowly shifted into realization and finally, unadulterated joy.

" _You…_ " she said, her voice shaking from something that she wasn't even quite sure of, "You _killed_ him, didn't you? _That's_ why you're on the _Most Wanted_ list, _right?_ "

Star didn't say anything, but her silence was nothing less than a confirmation.

"Oh, _Star!_ " Kelly gathered her friend into a hug, "This is _wonderful_ news! Etheria's plan completely _failed!_ " She squeezed harder, "I _knew_ I could count on you to surprise me."

"… _Star?_ " Marco hesitantly asked, "Are—Are you okay?"

She was shaking. Her lips trembled and the sound of her silent sobs croaked, her eyes bloodshot.

"Star?" she let her friend go and took a long look at the girl's face.

" _Shh,_ don't cry," he wrapped her in his arms soothingly, "It's alright now. _I'm sorry—_ I don't blame you anymore. _It's not your fault,_ " She broke down at his words, sobbing, face buried in his chest.

" _I—_ What happened? Did I do something wrong?" Kelly whispered softly, and he shook his head.

"I'll tell you later."

The girl nodded, and with another remorseful look over her shoulder at her crying friend, silently left the room.

They were left alone.

She was trembling in his embrace, sobs wracking her fragile, tainted form.

" _Shh,_ " he whispered, "It's _alright_ now. Everything is alright. You have _nothing_ to fear anymore, Princess."

" _You—_ You _don't get it,_ Marco," she cried, "I _murdered_ him, for _fuck's sake!_ I _slaughtered_ him, and he's my own _uncle—Gods_ , how _messed_ up could I be?"

"Hey, _hey,_ " he pulled her up and looked straight into her eyes. _Blue_. "It's _not your fault._ You were just protecting yourself and me, _it's not—_ "

"He was my _uncle—_ "

"An _uncle_ who wants to _kill_ you!" he tried to keep himself from yelling in frustration. _Fuck_ , she needed to understand this, "And that _bastard_ made your _entire family_ turned on us, _stranding_ us in the wilderness, with _no plans whatsoever_ to go back to Earth! And all he wanted was the _fucking_ _throne_ that belongs to _you!_ "

She blinked at him, her eyes still brimming with tears and full of shock. _God,_ has she _never_ thought about how much of a _heartless_ _scum_ her uncle was?

" _Look,_ " he exhaled, remaining calm, " _I—_ Sorry for yelling. I wasn't yelling at you. But _Jesus_ , you _have_ to understand this," he gently cradled her markless cheeks and wiped away the droplets trickling down her face, "You are _not_ a bad person. What you did was, admittedly, a _bit…_ cruel," he hesitated for a fraction of a second but continued, determination burning in his eyes, "But if you didn't do it, he would've killed _both of us_. It took me a while to realize that, but I did, and it's time you do, too."

"You did _the right thing_ , Star."

There was a moment of silence before she visibly relaxed into his touch, her hands around his own in a gentle brushing movement worthy of a Princess. Her eyes closed shut in relief and he couldn't help but smiled.

Sometimes he wondered why he had come to _love this girl so much_.

 _Gods_ , she was the most _fragile_ thing he had ever seen. So broken, shattered, _unstable—_

But at the same time, still full of courage, kindness and _determination_.

…Oh, _that's_ why.

* * *

 _Just…a little more—_

The figure's face scrunched up in effort. His arm was outstretched towards the illuminating butterfly, magic accumulating at his palm, slowly burning away the offending thing.

Despite everything, he had to grudgingly respect the Queen. She did a _phenomenon_ job. He probably wouldn't have been able to break the seal in a short time, but the _Princess_ must've been… _distracted_ , to not _immediately_ come looking for him like he had anticipated.

Tearing this down would be easy enough, providing enough time. And time was _exactly_ what he has.

He quickly glanced at the Queen, encased in a crystal right next to where he was. Her face was painted with horror and disdain, her eyes blue but devoid of any emotions other than hatred, her hands raised in an unsuccessful attempt to shield herself.

 _Ah…_

She looked so _beautiful_ like that, didn't she?

—Shame he needed _just a_ _little more_ magic to finish this _particularly_ difficult job. This _measly, weak_ body couldn't _comprehend_ his power, and if he tried to harness green magic, it would, inevitably, _explode_.

 _Such_ an _incapable_ body. He'd have to find a new one soon. Or better, regenerate his own.

To do so, he'd have to have his _finger—_

Nevermind. This… _form_ would have to suffice for now.

He melted half the crystal with a flick of his wrist, careful not to let her shoulders free. As soon as her head emerged, she was screaming bloody murder at him. He flinched slightly.

"—you _sick fuck!_ If you don't release me _right now_ I will—"

"Moon, _dear,_ " he smiled warmly at her, his tone effectively cutting her off, "Apologies in advance, my love. This would hurt _quite a bit._ " His smile turned maniacal, his eyes wild and _merciless_ , and he hissed ancient words at her. Wind lifted the locks of her hair, slicing across her face and she looked horrified.

"What— _No!_ " Realization dawned across her face and her tough façade broke for a moment, " _Don't—_ "

A blinding flash of light and her agonizing screams filled the cavern. Silvery magic _flooded_ to his fingertips and he exhaled, seemingly pleased with himself.

The extra rush of magic stretched the barrier to its limit, and in a glorious, sickening _crack—_

The barrier was destroyed.

Toffee laughed.

" _No—_ " Moon cried weakly, and he looked back at her, his eyes burning fervently with undeniable passion. He levitated over to her and she stared at him, _wide eyed_. If anything, _seducing_ her while having to reside in this _hideous_ body would be rather _difficult_. He had done some… _cleaning up_ , but he was positive _nothing_ could've _possibly_ saved Ludo's poorly maintained hygiene.

" _My love,_ " he lifted her chin, "You look so _breathtaking_ like this." She looked stunned for a second, seemingly recognizing his voice, before furiously yanking herself away, making him let out a rumbling laughter. "Still _feisty_ , I presume?" he grinned, then broke into a laughing fit.

"You haven't changed at all, Princess Moon Butterfly."

" _Queen,_ " she grumbled, "I am a Queen now."

"Huh, _fascinating_ ," he brought his fingers up to his chin in thought, "But has status _ever_ been able to change you in my eyes? A Princess or a Queen—there is _no_ difference to me. You're still the woman I loved."

"Don't you _dare_ talk to me like that, _Toffee_ ," she spat, "You betrayed me, and now you have the _audacity_ to _show your face_ and act like _nothing_ ever _happened?_ "

"Now, now, _mon chéri,_ " he touched the corner of her lips with his fingertips, making her flinched away, "Be _rational_ , would you?" His eyes somehow went completely black and she swallowed despite herself—Gods, he was so intimidating. "We wouldn't want to talk about _that_ , would we?"

He stared at her, expecting silent obedience. But the way her blue irises went ablaze with the stubbornness he remembered and fell in love with, he knew his efforts would be futile. She opened her _pretty_ _mouth_ and he sighed.

"I—"

"Have you learned _nothing?_ " his expression turned icy and cruel. "I didn't want to hurt you, but you _made_ me do this, Moon."

And with another effortless wave of his hand, the crystal regrew around her form and she was frozen again, silenced by the cold surface.

He sighed to himself. Why wouldn't she _understand?_ Couldn't she see that all he's doing was for _both of them?_ To restore their _future_ , to rid her of that _defective_ _man_ she calls a _husband_ , to _reclaim_ the Kingdom from the Butterfly and _rule it with her by his side?_

Wasn't that what _she_ had wanted from the beginning?

That was what she told him when they were huddling together on lonely nights, her lying on his chest, whispering words of _love_ and _dreams_ of a bright future against his delicate scales.

 _We could run away,_ she'd say, _Or even better, I could marry you, and you would be my King. We'd rule the Kingdom in peace and harmony._

 _Most importantly, we'd do it_ together _._

He had laughed heartily and run his fingers through her long, silvery locks. _Whatever you want, my Lady,_ he'd say, _I'm happy enough being with you._

She'd call him a dork, and he'd reply with something equally cheeky. They'd laugh about it for days, like an inside joke, and the memory would follow him like _nothing_ _else_ had in the endless span of his immortal life.

It was a much happier and _simpler_ time. He craved to go back, but if there's _anything_ he had ever learned through thousands of years worth of poor life decisions, it was to _never_ ask for things you don't understand the consequences of.

But what about _now?_ She looked absolutely _miserable_ , cursing at him to stop, yelling, _resisting_ him—

Age really had done a number on her.

… _No_. He _had_ to do this.

She was— _brainwashed._

By _them_. Those _heartless Butterflies._

 _Yes,_ of course. That would be the only _logical_ explanation. He _had_ to save her.

She was _his Princess_ ; he'd do _whatever it takes_ to ensure her happiness.

No matter what the price of his actions would be.

And the _Gods_ know what happens to people standing in his way.

Toffee glanced at the broken barrier, in tatters, and grinned. _Technically_ , the entire dimension was still on a lockdown—Moon, being the _cunning_ , calculating _genius_ she is, had placed seals in different points across Mewni. He had only managed to create a weak point, just _barely_ enough for a monster with magic like himself to be able to pass and quickly travel to another dimension. The rips he tore in the fabric of the universe would be _extremely_ unstable, so this was, admittedly, a _significant_ risk. He could be stranded in a dimension, which would foil his _entire plan_ , or he could be trapped in the void between dimensions _forever_ , with no means of escaping.

But the risk was _worth it._ This was a _very_ important phase of his plan.

The Princess and the boy had been getting a little… _too close_ for his comfort. He _knew—_ if they cooperated it would be his downfall, _again_ , and he couldn't afford to let _that_ happen.

Well, it's time to _fix that_ , huh?

* * *

 **whoa boi that got a little intense XD**

 **if you have any questions, feel free to leave a comment and i'll answer it as soon as i see it i swear lol XD**

 **p/s: after some thoughts i've decided to open a poll :)) check it out in my profile, or if you're too lazy to do so, the question was:**

 **Would you like me to include some backstory? Moon/Toffee past, Eclipsa's, etc.**

 **(if ur too lazy just leave me a review lol that's alright)**


	15. you think you're above consequences?

**_alternate title: jenny has no idea whatsoever of how to write combat scenes lol_**

 ** _anyway, i am BACK, yes! i finished my finals a few days ago and typed out this horrible mistake XD but like, bruh, i swear this is the darkest chapter by now, and it's really messed up, even by my standards like holy shit._**

 ** _i get it that some of you aren't comfortable with such violence and possibly triggering things, so i'm thinking maybe i'll bump the rating up to M. i hope you understand and continue supporting my fic *heart*_**

 ** _WARNING: CONTAINS SLIGHTLY GRAPHIC VIOLENCE, DARK THEMES AND A MASSACRE HOLY FUCK_**

* * *

 _Run._

"Marco!" she cried, her head bending backward to find him. Her feet struggled to keep up with the speed she had to move at, and so did he.

"I'm alright," he heaved, glancing around nervously before allowing himself a moment to catch his breath, his entire body folding into two against a tree. The bark was pinning splinters on his hands, and it _stung_ , but he couldn't care less. "Just— _keep moving!_ I can still hear them!"

"Like _hell_ I'm leaving you behind!" she snapped, then quickly ran over to help him. " _Come on_ ; you can't give up on me like that!"

"R—Right," he hefted the backpack on his shoulders again and wiped the beads of sweat on his forehead, "I'm better now; let's go before they catch—"

"Well, well. Couldn't outrun an entire unit of elite guards, _could you?_ " a gruff voice chuckled darkly, a flash of sharp, cold iron hit his vision and he stopped dead in his track.

"—us," he stared at dozens of burly, strong men in front of them. The guards are spreading quickly and surrounding them; they needed to do something _fast_ before they ran out of options.

"You all are to _leave_ us this instance," Star calmly said, and there was nothing but an aura of authority around her. "Or suffer the consequences."

A few of the men glanced at each other hesitantly. Marco couldn't blame them; despite the blue and purple striped sweater she was wearing and the messy short haircut she sprouted, the Princess was the most _intimidating_ person he had ever seen.

But the captain didn't seem that all impressed. "Please, _Your Highness_ , cut the acting," he smirked, "The entire _Capital_ knows that you have _no_ magic now. What can you do to us; dust us with some sprinkles from your fancy shirt?" His comrades joined in with the laughing and soon enough, Star couldn't contain her rage anymore.

 _Damn_ , Marco thought, _These guards must be new, or they're stupid enough to provoke her._ His eyes met the captain's, _Probably the latter._

"I do not wish to harm citizens of Mewni," she declared, "But if you push me…"

The threatening silence and the deadly look in her eyes were enough of a promise of horrible things to come.

"Ha, nice try, _Princess_ ," the captain snickered, "I've heard of your _little reputation_ , and honestly, I think they over exaggerated you," he looked around at his friends and some let out polite laughter. At least the rest of them knew better than to challenge her, "But since Lady Etheria had _specifically_ ordered a painful death to you, well, if you'd like to battle, _Your Highness_ , I'm always ready to take up the offer." A nasty grin from the man's face was the last straw for her, and she decided _enough was enough._

"Take your sword out," she whispered to Marco, "And be prepared to defend yourself in case something happens to me, okay? They want _me_ , so if I'm down, promise me to just run and _don't look back._ "

He was halfway of getting his blade out before he fully registered her words, " _What?_ No; I'm _not_ leaving you—"

Too late. She had already stepped up, face to face with the middle-aged man.

"Do your _fucking_ worst, you _scumbag_ ," she snarled, and he just laughed in joyous insanity.

"Such crude language for a _Princess_ , my Lady," the guard drew his sword and she readied her stand. Marco swallowed down something that got stuck in his throat; how could she _possibly_ defeat the captain without a weapon?

They circled each other for a few unbearable moments before letting out a battle cry and charged, the man with a full swing of his blade, expecting to cut her head clean off. But she dodged and rolled out of his way before knocking the wind out of him with a punch straight to his guts. An expert swipe of her legs and the man was on the ground, groaning in pain.

 _Woah._ She's strong.

"How's _that_ for a Princess, you _prick?_ " she planted her knee right on his chest, her face split with a wild smile, her eyes a little crazed, "Anyone else wants some?"

Reluctant glances were exchanged, some even a bit afraid. They had _clearly_ not expected her to finish their _captain_ in such a short time.

"Attack! _Attack—_ " said captain wheezed, " _Get her!_ I want her _fucking_ _head_ on my wall—"

The other men charged despite themselves, and Marco decided it's time to step in. He sliced the air and bright, neon green fire burst into life, making the soldiers staggering back in fear of being burned alive.

"It's _magic!_ " one exclaimed in shock.

"I thought Lady Etheria told us the Princess doesn't have magic anymore?" another one cried in panic.

"It's the _boy_!" the captain yelled, "Get him!"

"Don't you _dare_ touch Marco." she stepped in front of him, the frenzied look on her face was enough to let them know they did _not_ want to mess with her, "Come here and I will _fucking_ _kill you all!_ " she screamed.

"She's _bluffing!_ The magic came from the _human_ , not her!"

The realization dawned across the soldiers' many faces and they turned grim, their glares directed to Marco.

"Attack!" the captain bellowed and they all surged forward, swords in their hands and the full intention to _kill_ burning in their eyes.

Marco hit the first one with the butt of his heavy blade, effectively knocking him out cold.

Fire kept the rest at bay, well far enough away from him. He took one at a time, letting another one in once he defeated his current opponent. It's good to keep an advantage for himself, because even though he knows his way around a sword, he's not sure he could take multiple strong, trained soldiers at the same time.

And God, it's been _so long_ since he had a proper duel. Memories of his past days as an unwilling gladiator surfaced and he smiled to himself before shaking it away. It must've looked disturbing to the man in front of him because he decided to give up _entirely_ and surrendered.

And Star?

Black, clear wings shimmered in the sunlight as she swooped down, snagging a dagger for herself and injuring the guards without hurting them fatally.

They fell under her blade like wheat under a scythe.

At that moment, she looked _deadly_. Dangerous, but also _beautiful_ and tantalizingly close to that halo of a vengeful angel, with blood splattered on her hands and across her face.

God, he couldn't keep his eyes off of her.

After what seemed like an infinity watching her graceful form purging the rest of the guards, all that's left was about five able men. The rest were either lying unconscious on the ground, groaning in pain or had fled the battlefield. Four were trying fruitlessly to fight Star off, and the other one is the captain, who's standing in his ring of fire, toe to toe with him.

" _Interesting_ ," the older man mused, "You would give up your life to protect such an _abomination?_ "

"She's _not_ an abomination," he hefted the sword, his voice chilling, "She's my _friend_."

The captain let out a laugh, "Oh, _please_. Like the entire Kingdom hadn't known about her _affair_ with you already," he stared straight into the boy's wary brown eyes, " _Shameful_ ," he spat.

"What's your _problem_ with her?" Marco angrily growled while thrusting his blade towards the man's abdomen. He blocked it at the last moment, "She's a _wonderful_ Princess."

"She was never supposed to be the _Princess_ , boy," they crossed blades and he grunted under Marco's strength, " _Lady Etheria_ should've been our Queen, and Lord Heartrude our Prince. Star Butterfly is a _disgrace_ to the _entire_ royal family."

Adrenaline and rage surged through Marco's system and his attacks became less merciful, less sparing, "You know _nothing_ about her! She went through enough _shit_ already; you ignorant _jerks_ are in no position _whatsoever_ to judge her!"

The captain's blade went flying and clanked on the ground, far away from them. The edge of Marco's sword graced the man's throat and both of them stopped, breathing heavily.

"You clearly haven't know anything about the Princess yet, _human_ ," the captain eyed the sharp point, his laugh hesitant, "Did you know your beloved girl burned down the _entire Kingdom of Mewni_ the first day the Royal Magic Wand was in her possession?"

Marco glanced sideways, "I'm sure it was just an accident," he said, but as much as he hated to admit it, there was doubt in his voice.

"Really?" the man challenged, " _Hundreds_ of _thousands_ of Mewmans won't agree with you, boy. Why do you think we wanted to strip her off the throne?"

"Because Etheria is a megalomaniac?" he growled, but the captain cut him off.

"No. Because Star Butterfly is _reckless_ and selfish. She doesn't care about _anything_ or _anyone_ other than herself."

A silence followed and the only noise he could hear was the crackling of bright green fire and the buzzing in his ears.

"You're wrong," he muttered, finally, "She's not selfish. She sacrificed herself for me numerous times—"

"You blind, _foolish_ boy," his opponent chuckled, still kneeling on the dirt with his sword at his throat, drawing blood, but the older man's eyes were burning with determination, "Haven't you know that the Butterfly's most valued trait is the ability to manipulate others? _Look at you_ ," he laughed, "If she really _cares_ about you, don't you think she wouldn't have pulled you into this political mess? Constantly running for your life, endangered, _injured_. You could've stayed in your dimension and lived a normal, happy life, but _she_ dragged you into this, and now you might _die_ any second," Marco stared at the captain, doubt starting to form in his mind.

"You think she couldn't have let you out of this shithole of a dimension? All she had to do was to give up her wand." His surroundings started to spin, and his grip on the sword suddenly wasn't that stable anymore.

" _But she didn't._ "

Marco felt something jolted in him and his eyes frantically searched for her figure in the sky.

She was _there_ , alright, but…

Flashes of iron armour flared in the trees behind her, and he heard himself yelling—

" _Look out!_ " She turned her head towards him, that gentle smile on her face slowly turned into a dazed look—

But it was too late.

Traps sprung and the sound of chains filled the air. The next thing he heard was her screams of agony.

And the next thing he felt was a punch _straight to his guts._

He huffed painfully and the sword fell out of his hands. Marco Diaz lied on the ground, curling over himself in the fetal position. _Fuck,_ that hurt.

"Look who's on top now, _human?_ " the captain snarled, and pulled his hair up, making him yelp miserably, "Nicely done, soldiers," he congratulated his comrades, and they cheered.

Marco tried to look around, but his eyes were bleary. Pain _exploded_ at the back of his head when the man smashed his skull down against a rock. He groaned, and something warm trickled down his neck.

But _just a few steps in front of him—_

There she lied, immobile, blood stained the grass under her. Her fragile wings _twitched_ , and he stared in horror as realization came and he felt like he's going to throw up.

Her wings were _ripped apart_ by the razor net they sprung on her.

" _Star—_ " he barely managed to breathe out, before the captain jerked his head up again, "Well, well," the man mused despicably, "Look at this _pathetic_ sack of meat. Lady Etheria only ordered us to bring back the rebel Princess's body; she didn't mention anything about _the boy,_ " he smirked, "I'll enjoy killing _you_ , human."

" _Don't—_ " she cried, "Leave him _alone…_ "

"Oh, I think you misunderstood us, _Princess_ ," he snarled, " _You're_ not the one giving orders anymore."

"Captain," one hesitantly said, "I don't think that killing the boy here would be a good idea. After all, wouldn't it be better if we bring him back to Lady Etheria so Her Grace could decide what to do with him?"

"It's _Her Majesty,_ " the captain snapped, "She's going to be our _Queen_. And _no_ , I do not see the _point_ of bringing Her Majesty yet another criminal to deal with. Are you questioning my _authority?_ "

"N—No, Sir. My apologies."

The man sighed, "Good. _Now_ , if we're clear on that matter, I'll need a hand. This human would make a _perfect_ stuffed decoration at the corner of my hunting room, don't you think?"

"Of course, Sir."

Star was screaming bloody murder but her curses remained unheard. A guard stuffed some cloth in her mouth as a gag and she cried in despair, eyes wild and desperate.

And Marco? He was too far _gone_ to even think about anything else. From the burning _pain_ at the back of his head and the warm liquid trickling down his shoulders, he could tell that he'd lost _a lot_ of blood.

"Hold him up," a cold voice ordered, deranged joy mixed in its tone. He felt two pairs of strong arms hefting him up and groaned. The world _spun_ and everything turned a dangerous, sickening shade of yellow. Blobs of purple spots blinded his vision, and he groaned again.

"Hand me the knife," the voice continued, and he felt something cold touched his neck. He jerked backward in instinct and laughter rang across the clear air. He couldn't see anything other than fragments of images, dancing and twisting wildly, flashes of metal and _somehow_ , the _brightest_ pair of blue eyes he had ever seen.

It was a beautiful day outside. Birds were singing, flowers were blooming.

 _And he was about to die._

He met her eyes _one last time_ , _desperate_ to burn the way those cerulean orbs shimmered in the sunlight into the back of his mind. At least he could see her before he—

His eardrums registered her shattering scream before he lost consciousness and everything went black. 

* * *

She shrieked, rage boiling her blood. How _dare_ they—how _dare they—how dare they—_

A blinding darkness exploded.

Uncontrollable magic _burst_ through her seams, immediately _incinerated_ the captain and the guards who were holding him up by his arms. All hell broke loose as the remaining men _panicked_ , and cowered together in a tight formation to protect themselves.

 _He_ dropped to the ground, unconscious.

…How dare they.

She gave an ear-piercing battle cry and _broke_ the net, her wings fully healed and seemingly made of steel.

Sharp, cold and _merciless_.

Unstoppable.

She flew into rage and _slaughtered_ anyone standing in her way, cutting them down one by one. Her eyes were empty, _black_ , terrifying. Inky magic electrified the air, the wind picked up and _whipped_ at the men, dark tendrils of slimy, deadly substances curled from under her and wrapped themselves around the men's throat, _squeezing—_

Then everything stopped in a halt.

Magic cleared from her vision. The buzzing noise in her ears eased. The invincible feeling running through her veins ceased to exist.

And Star Butterfly stared in horror at the absolute _massacre_ she had created.

Blood stained the grass a crimson red. Wide eyes and terrified looks from the men's last moments haunted her for the rest of her life. Bodies _littered_ the ground, ashes and dust stirred in the gentle breeze.

She bent over a tree and threw up, tears falling down her cheeks, _suffocating_.

Star coughed and hacked as her eyes, blue once again, scanned what's left of the battlefield around her.

Her heart stopped beating in her chest when she saw _him_.

"Marco!" she cried, desperation creeping into her voice as she crawled over to his lifeless body, " _Please,_ Marco _, wake up—_ "

A _searing pain_ shot from the base of her neck down her right arm and she screamed. The crawling feeling and the way it stung left her breathless and _begging_ for the torment to stop. It _hurt—God,_ it _fucking hurt—_

It ran _all the way_ down the right side of her body. Her hand _tingled_ and her fingertips swelled; they felt like they were going to _explode_.

The suffocating agony was too _much—paralyzing—too much_ for her to handle—

She couldn't _breathe…_

Couldn't _think…_

All she knew that she _had_ to protect him.

Star draped herself across his body in an attempt to shield him from _anything_ that might harm them.

Then everything went black. 

* * *

" _What do you_ mean _, leaving?" Kelly angrily said, "You're not going anywhere, Star. You're not…" she stuttered, trying to find the right word._

" _Stable? Yeah, I know," Star laughed a little, "But it's not like I have much time to idle around either; I_ have _to find a way to get Marco back to Earth."_

" _Look, I get it that you love him and all but…" she hesitated, "Are you sure you want to do this? I mean, I know_ where _you have to go,_ but—" _Kelly smiled, "You really want to do this for him, don't you?"_

" _If it's the last thing I do, Kel," Star grinned, determination in her eyes. The other girl couldn't help but hug her friend before finally saying,_

" _Alright."_

* * *

"Huh?" she jerked awake, alarmed, "Where am I?"

She glanced around. The dying sun glinted outside the glass windows, bathing everything in a warm, orange light. Her fingers touched something soft, thick, and furry, like a pelt. The… _house_ she was in looked like an old, _giant_ tree stump, with minimal furniture; a huge, comfy armchair in the corner, a few wooden cupboards, pictures of tadpoles hanging on the wall…

Wait, _tadpoles?_

"Princess?" a gruff, familiar voice said, "Are you okay?"

"Buff Frog?" she groaned. _Damn_ , everything hurt. "Why am I in your house? And where's _Marco?_ "

She tried to jump off from the comfortable bed but the world _spun_ and she staggered back. Luckily, he caught her. "Star girl must remain on bed," he said, "You are still too weak."

"Where's— _ugh_ —where's Marco?" she grunted, "Is he okay?"

"Karate boy is all right," he said, gently lowering her back down, "He's…sleeping."

"What _happened?_ " she shook her head and _whoa_ , everything's _purple_ now. Dazed, she sunk back to the pillows and decided to groan some more just because she could.

"I found you and Karate boy in forest," Buff Frog pointed in a random direction that she didn't know where it would lead, " _Badly_ injured. Unconscious. Brought you both back here. Is Princess fine? Do you need anything?"

"I'm fine; thanks, Buff Frog," she smiled, and she could feel herself slipping away again, darkness and fatigue _smothering_ her will to stay awake. The fluffy, _warm_ blanket didn't help, either.

The small cottage smelled vaguely like mud and smoke. They reminded her of the night she spent in the cave with Marco, how they were _so close_ to each other…

The next time she woke up, it was dark. She heard Buff Frog singing lullabies for his tadpoles, a low flame crackling in the fireplace, and the soft snoring of the children. The moon was bright outside, and _God_ , she was so _comfortable…_

Her sleep flickered for a few more times that night, jolting her up just to _frantically_ search for his small, slumbering figure across the room then falling back to unconsciousness out of exhaustion.

Dawn was coming up when she decided to just _give up_ and left the bed. The light from the dying candle illuminated the space just enough for her to find her way to his side. Her hand tangled in his hair and it was still so _soft_ , despite the ragged condition he was in. A thick, white bandage covered his _entire_ head and purple bruises were _everywhere_ , blooming across his slightly tanned skin. Her heart clenched _painfully_ as she stared at him, silently crying.

"I'm so, so _sorry_ , Marco," she whispered and kissed his forehead, her tears falling down his cheek. Her right hand, also bandaged from shoulder to the end of her fingertips, squeezed his own.

"I'm really sorry." 

* * *

Something wet rolled down his cheek.

Noises and words were happening _somewhere_.

Why were there _words?_

Was he dead?

He could hear someone _sobbing_ next to him, but he couldn't see anything.

Slowly, carefully, Marco opened his eyes.

Still nothing.

" _S—Star?_ " he instinctively called out to her, his tone barely above a whisper. His throat was bone dry, his voice raspy.

A surprised noise. " _Marco?_ " someone muttered, their voice shaking. Yes, that is _definitely_ Star. "Thank the _Gods_ , Marco, _are you okay?_ "

"Can _I—_ can I have some water?" he breathed out. His lips were chapped, and they felt like sandpaper. How long had he been asleep?

" _Of course!_ " she cried and left his side, and he pawed the empty space for a second in blind panic. He heard the sound of a wooden chair scraping the floor and her tumbling footsteps before a warm hand lifted his head and both of them _hissed_.

"Sorry," she immediately said, "I forgot your head hurts. Here, I'll _just—_ uh…"

"And you?" he asked once he finished gulping all the water down like a man who's about to die of thirst, "You were hurt too, weren't you?"

"It's nothing much," she reassured. "I'm fine. Do you want more water?"

"Yes, please," he almost pleaded, and she left again. Sitting up at a rather _tolerable_ position that didn't make his head hurts like it's being split in half, he carefully strained his eyes to find out just _exactly_ where they were.

"Uh, what time is it?" he inquired.

Her shuffling around stopped for a second, "I don't know, but I think it's about to be dawn soon."

"Really?" he said, surprised, "Then why didn't you turn the lights on? It's so dark; I can't see anything."

A deathly silence and something shattered on the ground. 

* * *

" _Star?_ What happened?" he panicked, " _Are you alright?_ "

She was frozen in place.

He crawled out of the bed, all staggering footsteps and flailing arms, trying to find her.

But her eyes were _glued_ on the candle, still burning bright.

Shards of ceramics littered the ground at her feet, remnants of what used to be a beautiful cup.

" _Star?_ " he cried, getting more desperate with each breath, " _Please_ , where are you?"

Something jolted in her and she ran to his side despite the sharp remains on the floor, her arms circling him in a tearful embrace. 

* * *

Something wet rolled down his cheek again.

He tasted the droplet on his tongue and _shivered_.

Salty.

 _Why was she crying?_

"… _Star?_ " he whispered, "Why are you—"

Then it clicked in his mind. The back of his head _hurt_ , the fact that she seemed to be able to weave her way around things in the room in _complete darkness_ , her reaction when he had asked about the _lights—_

"The lights were on, weren't they?"

She cried into his chest. 

* * *

**okay before you decide to come after me with pitchforks can i just say I SWEAR I DID THIS FOR A REASON AND IT'S GOING TO BE VITAL FOR THE PLOT LATER I KNOW YOU HATE TO SEE YOUR PRECIOUS STARCO SUFFER BUT IT IS WHAT IT IS, OKAY?**

 **for the people not following my fic because of the dark contents and extreme angst; it's alright, i understand and fully respect your decision :) i hope one day i'll write something more suiting for you so you can enjoy yourselves a little better *heart***


	16. eyes closed

**well look who's not dead yet XD**

 **sorry for not updating sooner; i knew i left you guys on a cliffhanger, but the past two weeks had been rough on me ;-; i had some relationship problems with my friends and some emotional issues, you know, the standard. i lost my motivation and inspiration to write or the ability to freaking FUNCTION for a week straight, and recently thought 'what the hell' and got back to writing lol**

 **so to make up to you starco thirsty fans out there, i got some fluff right here XD**

 **oh yeah, music recommendation: ' ' by . it's fucking aesthetic, i'll tell you that.**

 **link:** **/sugiwa/justfriends**

 **EDIT: WE HIT 100 FOLLOWERS! WOOHOO FUCK YEAH XD**

* * *

Buff Frog would've been pissed at the mess they've made if they didn't look so broken, shivering in each other's arms.

"Star girl?" he asked, shocked, "What happened here? Why there candles everywhere?"

No one responded. There was only silence apart from her sobbing and his occasional hiccups. The table was filled with wax candles, some completely burned out and the rest still shining brightly. Flames flickered in the room, a few magically levitated in the air, threatening to set the wood cabin on fire.

He tried not to freak out about that.

Star herself held a candle in her hands, sitting in Marco's embrace, her knees pressed to her chest. Hot, melting wax dripped down and burned her fingers, but she didn't seem to care. He was staring down at her sadly, his eyes hopelessly strained on the candle she was holding. Dried tear marks stained their cheeks, and they looked like they didn't get a wink of sleep last night.

"Karate boy?" he asked, confusion mixed with a hint of worry in his voice, "What's wrong with the Princess?"

"Nothing's wrong with me," she replied and her voice cracked, "Could you get us some…water?" she asked, clearly wanting him to just leave them by themselves for a little longer.

"Of course," he told her, and spared them one last concerned look before taking his leave, carefully closing the wooden door behind him.

She sighed into Marco's chest and he pressed his chin on the top of her head.

* * *

" _The lights were on, weren't they?"_

Her wrapped fingers slowly moved in front of him, shaking.

He stared at the void, completely rigid.

"No, _Gods, no, it can't be—_ " she sobbed in horror and jumped away from the bed, trying to register the fact that he _couldn't see her anymore._

"Star? _Star?_ " he called out desperately, his fear temporarily betrayed his calm demeanor. She immediately crashed right next to him, her hands securing him in an embrace.

"I'm here, Marco _, I'm here,_ " she cried, "Please, Marco, just _open your eyes wide_ and _look at me,_ please, just _look at me—_ " she begged, her own eyes searching for any signs of his vision, pleading.

He shook his head and tried again, before raising his hand to touch her forehead. He fumbled a little and moved down to cup her cheeks before giving her a sad look.

"May—Maybe the room's not light enough," she stuttered, "Yes, yes, _that_ must be it! I'll light more candles, and then you'll _see_ —Gods, _you'll see,_ okay? _Don't—_ Don't be scared," she crawled out of the bed and ran around, hastily opening drawers and cupboards in search for candles.

He sat there alone, staring at what's supposed to look like his legs.

All he could see was an endless void, a never ending darkness.

He couldn't help but feel as empty as the blank space in front of his eyes.

He heard shuffles and something fell to the ground with a soft thud. She cursed.

More shuffling.

Marco self-consciously curled into himself and backed to the corner of the bed, where the walls touched his back. Everything still _hurt_ , but at least he knew where the walls were.

" _Finally,_ " she breathed in relief, and began to light the armful of candles she found.

One, two, three…

 _Please, Celestia, I beg of you,_ she pleaded in her mind, _Please don't take away his eyes._

Four, five, six…

 _He had suffered enough as it was, please—If you leave him blind, I—I won't be able to live with myself. Please don't be so cruel and heartless; I'll do_ anything _if you could give him back to me._

Seven, eight, nine…

 _Please, don't do this to him. To me. To us._

Ten…

 _I beg of you. I'll do_ anything.

"Marco?" she asked tentatively, her hands shaking, " _Can you—_ Can you see the light?"

"You lit up the candles already?" he muttered under his breath, " _I—_ I can't see anything."

She fell into his embrace.

" _Marco!_ " she cried, " _I—I'm sorry—I'm_ so _sorry—_ "

"Shh," he said, his hands instinctively pulling her closer, "It's okay. _I'll_ be okay. I've got _you_ , Star. It's gonna be okay."

And she couldn't _believe_ how _selfless_ he could be for her.

* * *

She passed out after the first hour or two of constant crying. He couldn't blame her though; she must've been exhausted.

And if he were to be honest, _he_ was, too.

Exhausted of keeping up these walls for her sake, so she wouldn't worry about him.

Because _let's face it_. He's _freaking out._

Suddenly waking up one day and discovered that he's _blind_ now? He's just a human, _for God's sake_ , he relies on his sight too much. How was he supposed to _walk_ now? How was he supposed to _fight_ , to _protect her_ , to _go back to Earth?_

How was he supposed to see her smile again?

How was he supposed to see _anything_ again?

His fingers absentmindedly tangled themselves into her hair. She was sound asleep, her soft snores calmed him down and made him smile. She had stayed up all night to spill out apologies, even though he _assured_ her she didn't have to. It's not her fault, after all, and she had stayed with him when he hit what must've been the lowest point of his life.

Her breaths were shallow, comforting. He had cried when she finally fell asleep; cried until he couldn't _cry_ anymore. He lost his _vision_ , he felt useless; how could he _possibly_ help her anymore? He was nothing but a burden at this point.

But she didn't leave him. _God_ , she didn't even once think about leaving him and moving on without anything to hold her back.

A breeze caressed his face through the opened window and dried his tears. He instinctively moved his eyes towards where the wind had come from, but darkness greeted him yet again.

His hand touched her cheek. He thought about how her cheek marks had disappeared and how it was _his_ fault.

He didn't want to hurt her. He had _never_ wanted to hurt her.

It just kind of _happened_. But if there's _anything_ he had learned that night, with her dozing off against his chest, it was to finally stop blaming everything around him and himself.

He couldn't look back to the past behind him anymore.

It was time to finally continue.

He slowly slipped into unconsciousness to the _thump, thump_ rhythm of her heart beating.

* * *

Buff Frog took the kids and left them out in the backyard to play before bringing some food to where the Princess and her best friend were.

"Princess?" he knocked gently, "Can I come in?"

" _O—_ Of course," she replied, and he cracked the door open carefully. They were embracing each other on the bed, silently, but they seemed content with that.

"I brought food in case you are hungry," he said sheepishly. Boy, was he _desperate_ to ask for an explanation of _why in hell_ all the candles in his house were gone, but he knew better than to question them now. They seemed like they've gone through some hard things last night, and he didn't like it one bit how _fragile_ they were, like a single word could shatter them both into a million pieces. So he left the tray at the bedside table and slowly left the room, the door clicking shut after he stepped outside.

"Hey…" she said, "Do you want to eat something? Come on, you must be hungry," she climbed out of bed and he pawed around when their hands drifted apart. She smiled before sliding her fingers into his, relishing at his contented sigh. She reached over and grabbed a few toasts from the plate, setting it on the pelt by her side before carefully lifted the bowl of chicken soup with her free hand, blowing off some steam.

"Can you let me go for a while?" she asked softly, and he blushed, nodding, his fingers lingering just a bit before leaving hers. She let out a small chuckle and helped him up to a reasonable position, the broth still hot on her hand.

"I can do it—" he began, but she shushed him.

"No, Diaz," she scolded, "It's hot; you're just gonna burn yourself." He pouted a little and she managed a laugh. "Come on, open up," she whispered, more soothingly this time, a spoonful of soup hovering in front of him. "Don't worry, it's not hot anymore; I cooled it down."

"A—Alright," he mumbled, before opening his mouth hesitantly. She couldn't help but blush; he was so damn cute.

"So, um," he started, once the soup was well on its way down his stomach, "Are you…okay?"

"I should be the one asking you that," she said softly, "But yes, I'm okay."

"But the bandages on your arm—"

"It's just a minor injury," she dismissed immediately. That reminded her, she needed to change the dressings.

"Oh, okay then," he slurped up another spoonful. It's nice and hot, but a little salty. "Can I have some water?"

She hesitated a little as if she was struck by something. "S—Sure," she said and left the bed, coming back later with a delicate cup in her hands. "Here—Do you need my help?"

"If you just give me the cup—I think I can do it." he said, and he swore that the sour note in his voice wasn't intentional. He's not disabled, _goddammit_ ; he can still do things by himself.

His fingers touched the cup she gave him and it was warm, _pleasantly_ warm. He took a small sip before returning it to her, and finished the soup.

"So that's that," she mumbled, "What do you want to do?"

"There's not much _I_ can do now, is there?" he chuckled bitterly, "It's not like I can be of help to you or anyone."

"Marco," she called his name, and the familiar sound comforted him just a little bit, "Don't be like that. You know it's not true."

"…Why didn't you just _leave me there_ , Star?" he said, "Could've saved you a burden."

She was quiet and he feared the worst for a moment.

"You know what?" she shuffled away from him, and he had to hold himself back from _begging_ her to stay, "What you need is some fresh air. Come on,"

She took his hand again and pulled, and he felt himself moving in the darkness for the first time since what felt like forever. He stumbled, his legs wobbly, his head splitting apart.

"W— _Wait,_ " he called out, a little desperate, but she was persistent. She carefully led him out of bed and he hesitantly took a step forward, trusting that she wouldn't let him fall.

"Don't worry," she said softly, "I got you."

Together, they slowly made their way out of the gloomy room.

* * *

It's been one week, three day and seven hours.

Jackie fidgeted with her sleeves, unsure of how to react to the question.

"Do you know _where_ he is?" Janna asked nervously, "He hadn't been in school for _days_."

"He's with… _Star,_ " she replied, unable to keep the insecurity from her tone. "The last time I heard from him, he's stuck in another dimension with her."

"That's— _uh…_ unfortunate," Janna mumbled. They've both seen what happened just right before Star disappeared, and they knew…

It wasn't an easy thing to swallow when your boyfriend decided to live with another girl right after that girl confessed that she loves him. But Jackie knew it wasn't like he had a _choice_ ; he just _had_ to go rescue Star, because they were _friends_ after all, and she _really_ shouldn't be thinking like _this_ about him—

 _But she saw it._ She saw those locks of wavy blonde hair spread on the bed behind him when he called.

 _What—_ What have they done?

 _Nothing, Jackie; they've done_ nothing—just _stop thinking about it!_

"Hey, uh, you okay?" Janna's voice pulled her back to reality. She flinched a little and shook herself out of it. "Yeah," she faked a smile, "I'm alright."

If she kept pretending it's not there, these… _feelings_ would go away, _right?_

…Right.

* * *

It was a beautiful day outside.

Birds were singing. Flowers were blooming.

Ha.

Too bad he couldn't see anything.

But he could smell the exotic aroma of blossoms across the small garden behind Buff Frog's house, could feel the gentle breeze caressing his skin and blowing his hair. He tugged the scarf closer to his chest; it's abnormally cold for a summer afternoon for some reason. It felt like autumn already, even though she assured him it's only the middle of June here in Mewni.

"Careful," she said softly, her hands leading his, "There's a stream up ahead; do you want a little dip?" He must've looked confused, because she immediately clarified, "Just to relax, you know; no offense, Marco, but you kinda need it."

"Alright," he laughed, and step by step they moved towards the log acting as a bridge, and slowly sat down. He took off his shoes and squealed a little when the cool liquid touched his toes. She giggled and joined him, splashing water everywhere.

When he complained, the only thing she said was, "You need to chill out, Diaz," and splattered even more water on him.

Oh, it's _on_.

Roughly fifteen minutes later and they sat there in peace as he wrung out his sopping wet sweater. Drying himself in the golden light of a sunset, he looked over to where he thought she would be, and gingerly took her hand.

She inhaled sharply and he was tempted to let go, but decided to push his luck. He knew that she might still be mad at him for… _various reasons_ , but he really wanted their relationship back. Her friendship was the _best thing_ that had _ever_ happened to him— _she_ was the best thing that had ever happened to him. He _couldn't_ —he didn't want to lose her.

"Marco, _I—_ " she began, but then cut herself off and said nothing more. They sat there in a rather awkward silence, but she hadn't yanked herself away yet, so he took that as a good sign. But he didn't like the tension between them at all, so he tried to break it.

"It's sunset, right?" he asked, and she nodded before reminding herself that he couldn't see her and said yes instead. "I've actually never purposefully watched a sunset before," he said, "I guess I should've watched it when I still had a chance," he chuckled a little, before adding, "Can you describe it to me?"

"What? _Me?_ " Baffled, she asked, "But I'm really bad at this whole— _describing_ …thing." she trailed off when she saw the way his eyes sparkled.

"You said the same about your dancing, and you were _fine_ ," he grinned, "Come on, Princess, can't we try this? I've seen stuff like this on movies and I've always wondered how it would be."

"Oh—Okay then," she sighed, "But _just so you know_ , don't expect it to be all _poetic_ and stuff, okay?"

He chortled, "Of course, _Princess_. Anything you say."

"Stop calling me Princess."

"But that's who you are, no?"

" _Star_ would be fine, thank you very much."

"Alright, alright, you got it."

"So, uh," she mumbled, "The sunset is very…um, _yellowy—_ "

"That's not a word," he chuckled, cutting her off.

She protested, "That _is_ a word."

"Nope. Pretty sure you just made that up on the spot."

"I _didn't!_ "

"Okay, okay, whatever you say," he held his hands up in defeat, "Carry on, please."

"You and your nonsense," she huffed, "Anyway, it's really beautiful. The sun is bright orange, and there are clouds right across the horizon, and the sunlight looks like gold—"

He closed his eyes and listened to the sound of her voice. Soothing, familiar, just _everything_ he needed right now. Her descriptions got lost when he zoned out in blissful peace, but her _tone_ , how she sounded so _excited_ over something so _small…_

It made him love her even more than he already did.

"Thank you," he told her.

"—wind is nice—Huh?" she turned over to him, "Why are you thanking me?"

"You saved my life," he smiled softly, " _Again_. I couldn't even _count_ how many times you've done that anymore, honestly."

"It's nothing to thank me for," she said, but there was something regretful in her voice, "It's _my_ fault you got into this mess in the first place—the least I could do is to make sure you're safe."

"But you don't _have_ to, Star," he insisted, "I dragged myself into this. I _followed_ you, remember? Even after you warned me not to, I still did it."

"But if I didn't feel those stupid, _irrational_ things about you, _no one_ would've been in danger from the beginning," she snapped, looking straight into his eyes out of habit in hopes that he would understand, "I could've just said _nothing_ , and _none of this_ would've ever happened. You wouldn't _have_ to _be—_ " she choked up, but he understood perfectly what she was about to say.

"Hey, don't blame yourself," he squeezed her hand, "Those… _feelings_ were killing you from the inside. You did the right thing, Princess. How many times do I have to say it? It's _not_ your fault. It's _no one's_ fault, okay?"

She was shocked into silence. " _I—_ okay. Okay."

"So from now on, just let me be grateful that you saved my ass and then we can move on, alright?"

She laughed; a clear, beautiful sound, "Whatever you want, Wild Man."

"Don't call me that."

* * *

"Marco?" she said, her head resting against his shoulder, her heart beating wildly.

"Hmm?" he mumbled, half asleep. Everything was so _peaceful_ , she was sitting here, right next to him, and they were safe. _God_ , they were _finally_ safe.

"Do you think I deserved it?"

"What do you mean?" he asked, his fingers instinctively tangled themselves into her hair.

"This whole… _thing_ is my fault, you know. I started all of this. If it weren't for me and my—" _stupid, unbearable_ feelings _for you,_ "—problems," she said instead, "I wouldn't have got you into danger like this, you know."

Gods, the words were _right on her lips_ , she swore. She wanted _so_ badly to just _tell him_ —just _spit it out already,_ but their friendship was already on thin ice. She didn't want to ruin it—it's too _important_ to her, and…

Being friends is better than nothing, right?

"Stop," he told her, and she turned over to look at him. "Don't say that about yourself. You know it's not you."

"But _what if it is me?_ What if that horrible _creature_ who killed my uncle was… _me?_ " she cried softly, her voice cracking a little.

He was silent for the longest moment.

"Can I—tell you a secret?" he murmured.

"Of course."

"You remember that time when Monster Arm took over and I almost slaughtered Jeremy?"

"How could I forget?" she offered him a half-hearted laugh. "It was the longest I've gone without sleep, believe it or not."

"Sorry," he cringed, "Anyway, after you turned me back, I had the worst nightmares sometimes. I'd turn into this— _creature_ and killed _everyone_ and _gut_ them and it was _horrible—_ "

"I saw you died, Star."

"Shh, Marco," her hands splayed against his chest, "That's not your fault. That's not who you are."

"But that's exactly my point," he took her hand and squeezed, his eyes stinging with fresh tears, " _That's_ not who you are either. I know who you are."

 _I know you, Star Butterfly._

She recoiled from his touch as if he physically burned her, " _I—_ I don't know what you're about to say, but you and I are not the same,"

"You don't know anything about me, Marco."

A phantom pain crossed his features and she forced herself to turn away, " _You_ didn't create the problem, _I_ did," she said, tugging the scarf he had lent her closer, " _I_ was to blame, don't you think?"

" _Of course_ not!" he protested, "It's _not_ your fault; it's not _anyone's_ fault! Stop _blaming_ yourself, _for God's sake._ "

"You're too kind and forgiving for your own good, Marco," She realized she tended to say his name a lot whenever she wanted him to see things her way, " _I_ don't deserve it."

"You deserve all the good things in this world, Star," He knew that was a bold statement; he could practically envision the incredulous look in her eyes, "If _anyone_ deserves forgiveness, it's _you_. So forgive yourself. _Please?_ "

She was quiet. With her eyes closed and mind still a storm of dark thoughts, she leaned into his warm chest and sighed.

"I'm sorry," she said.

"Stop apologizing." he ruffled her short, messy blonde hair.

She offered him a genuine laugh this time.

She was soft against him. Soft and comforting and _familiar…_

 _Ba-dump. Ba-dump. Ba-dump._

He could almost imagine that she was Jackie, right here in his arms.

 _Ba-dump. Ba-dump. Ba-dump._

What if she was _Star_ , and she was in his arms? Granted, she _was_ , but what if there was a different reason why they were being all lovey-dovey aside from providing each other some much needed comfort?

 _Ba-dump. Ba-dump. Ba-dump._

No, he tried to tell himself.

 _Ba-dump. Ba-dump. Ba-dump._

This is wrong. He couldn't have…feelings for her! He had Jackie, he tried to rationalize.

 _Ba-dump. Ba-dump. Ba-dump._

He could tell that this wasn't going to end well for either of them.

 _Ba-dump. Ba-dump. Ba-dump._

Stop it, he screamed at his heart, albeit a bit reluctantly.

 _Ba-dump._

 _Ba-dump._

 _Ba-dump._

Dear God.

When did he start loving her?

* * *

 **HALLELUJAH OUR MARCO HAD FINALLY WOKE UP**

 **but seriously though XD took him long enough lmaoooo**

 **let the mutual pining beginnnn *insert evil face here***

 **oh, and if you want info on updates, check me out on tumblr:**

 **see you there :)) send me asks and prompts and stuff; i'm bored on a daily basis lol**


	17. weak

**okay so um GUESS WHO'S NOT DEAD YET HAHA**

 **yeah, that's right XD i'm still alive, guys :D i've just been insanely busy these days; i know, lame excuse, but it's summer and i have to spend time with my family and deal with all the paperwork for boarding school in the US! yes, i'm coming there :))**

 **i typed this all out as soon as i got the visa lmaoo XD couldn't write when i was busy being worried af about the visa and shit lol**

 **anyway, here you go :)) a wholesome chapter, complete with the largest amount of fluff i have ever written in my entire life XD seriously, i need to practice writing something else other than angst lmaooo**

 **oh, and one more reason as to why i haven't been updating these past few weeks :)) we're about more than halfway through, so i'm planning the endings already. that's right, you heard me. ENDINGS. there will be multiple endings to this story, so you can choose your favorite one :)) i've finished two of them, and that leaves two more, though i'll probably condense the other two into one single one =)) having tons of fun with them, to be honest.**

 **anyway, enjoyyy :3 and i'll have a rant about the 'battle for mewni' movie event at the end; that thing fucked me up big time, honestly.**

* * *

The soft breeze and the pleasant, hazy glow of sunlight on his skin woke him up that morning.

He pawed around, panicking, before his fingers touched soft, warm flesh, still half asleep. Locks of tangled hair tickled his face, and the rise and fall of someone's breathing calmed him down.

Ugh, _where_ was he again? What is this; why is it so dark?

Oh, right.

The blind…thing.

She was pressed against his chest, the soft bones of her thin frame poked his stomach. He groggily opened his eyes, then rolled them and closed them again. What's the point of keeping them open?

She was so comfortable and familiar, he didn't want to wake up. He wanted to hold her like this forever, and now that he knows how much he loves her, he _never_ wanted to let go.

That is, until she groaned a little.

"What—are you doing, Marco?" Sleep still stained her voice, and she reached up to rub her eyes. He smiled softly at how adorable she sounded, until she froze up.

Um, _what now?_

"Can you, uh, _move_ a little?" she laughed nervously, but he could hear the discomfort in her voice. Did he cross a line? Was she not okay with this? But—this is what they usually do anyway? Cuddling?

He clenched his fists experimentally, and—

Why was there something soft and… _squishy_ in his hands? And why was she squealing?

"Marco, _please—_ " She sounded a bit more breathy than usual, and the tone of her voice _fucked him up_ in ways he could never imagine coming from his sweet Princess. "Let me go— _Ah!_ "

His hands, they're at…

Uh…

Oh.

Oh _fuck._

He choked on his own spit and coughed furiously.

"I— _I'm sorry!_ " he bolted upright and scrambled to the other side of the bed, hiding his probably flaming face behind his fingers, "I couldn't see anything—I _swear_ it's not intentional! And I'm still half conscious— _I didn't know what happened, I swear—_ "

"It's okay, it's okay," she reassured him, her breathing a little heavy and laboured. " _I—_ I know you didn't mean it," There was something strange in her voice, but he was too mortified to notice anything other than his own burning embarrassment. She laughed it off, the sound a bit too awkward for what she was aiming for, but he joined her as well, wanting to get this _over_ and behind them _as soon as possible._

"So, uh," she began after what seemed like an eternity of forced, stiff laughter, rubbing the back of her neck, "Breakfast?"

He had _never_ said yes to anything that fast in his entire life. 

* * *

Marco Diaz silently screamed at himself as soon as he was left alone in the bathroom.

What the _actual fuck_ was that?!

Marco bent over the sink and breathed deeply, trying to calm himself. Oh, my God.

Oh my _fucking_ God.

He slapped some water on his burning face, trying to rub off the blush. His hair was dripping wet, his sweater probably soaking, but he couldn't care less.

No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't wash away the feeling of her flesh in between his fingers…

How _soft_ she felt, how warm she was—

God, _stop, Marco!_

…

He needed a cold shower. 

* * *

"I don't understand; why are you doing this again?"

She turned over to him, a bowl in the crook of her arm and a spoon in her other hand. She was wearing a ridiculously oversized apron, a smudge of something on her face, and whatever she was making spilled almost everywhere.

"Don't be _silly_ , Marco," she chided, her voice an octave higher than usual before resuming with her stirring, "You're _injured_. You need some good food, and it's not like you can eat Buff Frog's soup for the rest of your life," she stopped, and sheepishly offered the monster a guilty look, "Not to offend you or anything—"

"No offense, Princess," Buff Frog smiled, "But your corn is on fire."

"Wha— _Agh!_ " she dropped the bowl and ran over to the burning stove. She shrieked, "Hot! Hot—"

"Star, are you okay?" he hesitantly asked. He knew that she didn't want to admit that she sucks at cooking, but _come on_. How can one set what was supposed to be boiled corn on _fire?_

"Yes, yes, I'm fine," she blew on her fingers and dumped the corn, still on their cobs, to a nearby bucket of water, "Oh boy," she whispered, staring at what was left of her delicious Mewman corn.

"Oh boy indeed," he chuckled, the sound of her voice made him a little giddy. To say he was relieved when the tension between them since their little incident this morning had disappeared would be the biggest understatement of the century. Plus, she hadn't been this perky since forever, and it's nice to see a bit of how she used to be shone through the walls she had built around herself.

Honestly, he'd give anything to be able to _see_ that smile lingering in the corner of her lips again.

"Marco?" she called from the kitchen, "Do you want something to drink before the food comes out?" There were clanking sounds and hushed curses, along with a very worried-sounding Buff Frog.

"Princess," the monster said, beads of nervous sweat falling down the side of his face, "Let me carry plate. It is heavy—"

"No, no, I got this," she grinned, the enormous mountain of corn almost toppled over in her hands. "Whoa there, _that_ was close," Letting out a breath of relief, she set the plate down, and skipped back to the counter, where the rest of the food they had cooked up that afternoon laid, waiting.

One of Buff Frog's tadpoles, the ever friendly Katrina, guided him to the table and he took a seat, smiling at where he assumed the little girl would be. "Thanks," he nodded, and scrambled around a bit for silverware.

"Um," she muttered, "What are you doing, Marco?"

"I'm looking for a fork or something," he replied, "What are we eating again?"

"We are having—um," Buff Frog began, but her various excited noises stopped him.

She cleared her throat a little before asking, "Can I?"

"Of course," the monster smiled kindly.

And so began her blabber about the different variants of corn on Mewni and how to cook them with so much enthusiasm it'd put a spaghetti loving skeleton in shame.

He sat through it, confused, but contented to see her so passionate about something.

…But like, _seriously_. She should probably stop in about five minutes, or else he'd snatch the food and make a break for it; being blind be damned. He'd rather bump into something and fall face first to the ground than being starved. 

* * *

"You have, um, _improved_ , Star," he chuckled as he stuffed his face with another spoonful of corn salad, "Though I still can't understand where did you get potatoes on Mewni."

"I told you, we have more normal Earth things than you'd think," Her voice was happy, bubbly, and it made him feel so much better.

"Well, I _corn't_ possibly know that before hand," he winked for the effect.

She made a noise that sounded like she just shot water out of her nose, " _Pfft_ , did you just—?"

"Yep."

"I _corn't_ believe you did that!" she laughed out loud, "You're a- _maize_ -ing at this,"

" _Seriously?_ " he snorted and immediately turned red in mortification, "You can't use the same pun twice, Star. Plus, everyone knows that _maize_ one."

"What can I say?" she smirked, "You just gotta—"

"Star, no."

" _Shuck_ it up."

"That's it, I'm done."

"Hey, no fair," she pulled at his sleeves and he blushed, "You started this, and you should know better than to challenge a Princess of a kingdom living off _corn_ into a pun contest about corn."

"Alright, I admit defeat," he raised his hands up and laughed.

"Huzzah!" she pumped her fist in the air, using her most ridiculous royal voice, "Yet another decisive victory for the Princess of Mewni!"

They laughed so loud Buff Frog was staring at them with an amused look on his face when he returned with two mugs of something steaming.

"What's _that?_ " she caught a whiff in the air and mused, "It smells good!"

"Of course it does, Star," he smiled, "This is honey. Family recipe. Really good for healing."

He passed Marco a cup and he fumbled with the hot drink. She eagerly took the mug and inhaled its sweet fragrance.

"So, do you want storytime?" Buff Frog asked, one of his hand patting Katrina's head tenderly and the other holding a thick book, "Babies need story before bed."

"Sure," she said, and took a sip of the honey after blowing it, "Hmm, tastes like cinnamon."

"Yeah, it's _great_ ," Marco commented while slowly nursing his mug, "I've never tasted anything like this before."

"Me neither," she replied, "Anyway, Buff Frog, you can tell us stories now."

"Excellent. Let me call babies over." He whistled and tadpoles came running from different corners of the house, piling under his massive armchair.

"Alright babies," the monster smiled, opening his gigantic book filled with old but vibrant illustrations, "Once upon a time, there was beautiful Queen of Monsters. She rule the kingdom in peace and monsters have all the corn they want."

"But one day, evil Mewmans came and said, 'Queen, give me your corn, or I will eat all your babies!'"

"That is _highly_ biased. We _do not_ have that accent." Star commented, but Marco shushed her. For some reason, he seemed to be really into this story. "By the way, can I have some more of this honey?" he said.

"Oh, um, sure," Buff Frog pointed over to the counter, "It is by the stove."

"Thanks," he stood up, before turning over to her, sitting next to him, "Star, you want some?"

"Hey, uh, Marco?" He stopped, "Don't worry, I got this. You want one or two?"

 _Dammit._ He thought he could catch her off guard. He could do this by himself, and he _knew_ that! How long was she going to treat him like _this?_ He's not _that_ fragile.

But his anger dissipated when the tone of her voice was nothing but well-masked concern, hidden behind utter willingness. He sat back down, and politely asked for two more.

"Sure," He could hear her smile in that simple syllable and it was worth it, stomping down his pride for her. She returned in a matter of seconds, with mugs filled to the brim with the honeyed liquid.

He happily took another sip. So _sweet_ , and he could feel himself getting more giggly and carefree with each drop.

 _Damn_. He needed to know where to get more of this stuff.

"Okay," Buff Frog cleared his throat, "The Mewmans are strong, but our Queen is stronger! She use magic and blast them out of Mewni, and the Monsters win all the corn again!"

"…That's it?" he asked, "Well, that's a bit anticlimactic."

"Patience, Karate Boy," the monster chided, "But before the Queen is our Queen, she was—"

"A Mewman."

" _Princess Star,_ no spoilers!" Buff Frog glared at her, and she shrunk, "Sorry."

"Wait, how did you know?" Marco asked, taking another gulp. The liquid quickly warmed up his entire body with a pleasant buzz, leaving behind giddiness and a weird curiosity.

"The Queen could use magic, so she must've been Mewman," she shrugged nonchalantly, "But the real question is, why was she a Monster Queen?"

"Married our King," Buff Frog said curtly, as if he wasn't in a mood for stories anymore. "She was Mewman Queen, but they betrayed her. Accused her of being in love with monsters and using dark magic. She ran away."

"That sounded… _suspiciously_ familiar." Marco said. This tale; he had heard it somewhere, hadn't he?

" _Of course_ it does; it's _Grandma!_ " Star snapped her fingers, "Eclipsa, the Queen of Darkness!"

"Eclipsa?" Buff Frog mused, "I am not sure if it is the Queen's name or not. All monsters knew her once, but it had been so long ago. The story is nothing but a myth now."

"Grandma didn't tell me anything when we talked, either," she rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly when all eyes in the room turned to her, "It was…a _touchy_ subject." 

* * *

"Eclipsa Butterfly," a somber voice rang across the courtroom, "You are on trial for treason against Mewmankind, siding with the Monsters and practicing dark magic. How do you pledge?"

"Not guilty," she replied curtly. When the Council all raised their eyebrows, she took it as her cue to keep talking, "As I have previously tried to explain, green magic isn't bad. It's not the same as our pink magic, but everything in the universe had to be balanced. Just as pink magic is the power of creation, green is the power of destruction. Utilizing both and create pure, _golden_ magic would benefit our kind in every way possible, and that's all I've been doing. I am merely a student, trying my best to understand the mysteries that magic hid."

"Mysteries that aren't _yours_ to decipher, your Majesty," Hekapoo grumbled, "You are the first Mewman to ever harness the Monsters' magic, and you want us to believe that you're _not_ suspicious?"

"I say nothing of doubt or trust," she said, "I am only stating facts, facts that would be of use to _all of us._ If we can combine both types of magic… Imagine the _things_ we could accomplish with that knowledge!"

Whispers and hushed voices buzzed around the room and Hekapoo raised her hand, "Silence in the Court!" she bellowed, and turned over to Lekmet, "Chancellor, have you managed to find Glossaryck? He's supposed to be here by now."

"Baa," he replied.

"Oh, _come on!_ " The flame on the top of her head burned a little brighter in her irritation, "That old man; _he's_ the one who knows most about magic here!"

"Your Majesty, are you aware that experimenting with magic had been forbidden since the times of our first Queen?" Omnitraxus Prime questioned. Eclipsa's expression turned bitter and her voice raised a little louder.

"I am the Queen of Mewni!" she exclaimed, and the sheer power in her voice still managed to make most of the court members and the entire audience flinch. The Council, however, remained indifferent, "Those rules are old and outdated; we _need_ to move _forward!_ We cannot stop evolving just because we fear the unknown; _that_ was why the Monsters lost to us centuries ago! Am I supposed to sit there and watch the Monsters getting stronger day by day while I do _nothing?_ It's _my duty_ to defend _my people_ ; and I have found a way to end this conflict once and for all, but it's because of people like _you_ that we're going to lose Mewni!"

"What do you mean, lose Mewni?" Hekapoo said, her voice measured and alerted.

"I mean, we're going to lose this _Kingdom_ to them if we don't act! Haven't you _seen_ the new tribes in power?" The Queen seemed to be on a roll; she couldn't stop talking, "The Avariuses; they're capable of flying. And the Septarians—"

She cut herself off. _Dear Celestia; she had spoken too much._

A wave of discussion and mild panic broke across the room and Hekapoo had to incinerate a tapestry to keep people in order.

" _What?_ The Monsters are evolving?" she demanded, "How did you obtain this information?"

The Queen remained silent. She couldn't tell on them; she had promised Daemon to keep it a secret—If they knew what the Septarians are capable of, they'd do _anything_ to wipe out their race. And if the Mewmans somehow got their hands on her _research_ about pure, golden magic…

It'd be a genocide.

"In the name of the High Magic Commission, I order you to speak, Eclipsa Butterfly!" Hekapoo shouted.

But Eclipsa didn't even flinch. "I cannot tell you," she replied, her voice as cold as ice, "It is classified information."

" _Aha!_ She's siding with the monsters!" she exclaimed, "Lekmet, Omni, Rhombulus, don't you agree?"

"Baa, baa baa ba baaa."

"I must admit, there is something suspicious going on."

"Crystal her!"

"Guards," Hekapoo claimed triumphantly, "Lock her inside the anti-magic prison. We shall resume tomorrow to deliver her punishment: Imprisonment in Rhombulus's crystal for the rest of eternity."

Eclipsa shot them a dirty look, "You cannot _imprison_ me. I am the _Queen_ ; I hold superior over all of you. I only went along with this foolish trial because you threatened to burn all of my studies."

"You lost your privileges when you sided with the monsters, you _traitor_ ," Hekapoo hissed, "Take her away!" 

* * *

The Queen angrily rattled her shackles; cold, iron bands that held her in place and making her unable to even move just for a little bit. She had tried using her power and it was truly _impossible_ ; the hot headed girl didn't lie about the anti-magic spell after all. Eclipsa huffed in anger; how could they even _consider_ something as vile as this? Holding back someone's ability to use magic when their whole life was practically made of magic…

She shook her head. No. She's _not_ giving up; she's the _Queen of Mewni._ The most powerful one up to date, if her research was something to go by. But she really shouldn't be using that spell; even the _process_ of combining magic was still under development. A brand new spell that she has to come up with on the spot that uses golden magic? That's…not a wise thing.

But she was running out of options and she was desperate enough. She had to warn Daemon; his _entire_ _kind_ is in danger because of _her_ carelessness.

Ignoring the heavy metal that weighed her hands down, she concentrated and dipped down, reaching for that ocean of power deep inside her. The will to create something from nothing, the will to escape and make things right, combined with her boiling rage and the carnal desire to burn everything down with her deadly magic, to destroy everything in her path made something entirely new, something powerful and _unstoppable_.

The seal melted away under her relentless energy, and she collapsed in exhaustion. That took _a lot_ from her, and she could already hear the alarms going off and voices shouting; she should leave while she still can.

Dragging her drowsy body off the floor, she opened the window and leaped out. She could've summoned a cloud, but they have taken her wand even before the trial, and she could turn into her Mewberty form and fly to the Monsters' region; despite being a Mewman, she was always welcomed in their realm, but the spell took too much from her magically. She could barely manage to walk.

Eclipsa ran as fast as her wobbly legs would carry her across the Forest of Certain Death; she could see the Walls erected in the horizon. Twilight shone through the branches, shimmering in its majestic purple twinkles. She was lucky it was getting dark; sane Mewmans don't wander into the woods at night, lest they got themselves in danger.

She could hear the guards pursuing her, yelling threats and insults. Her feet were swollen; she hardly had any time to grab proper footwear for such a difficult and rocky terrain, but she pushed on, determined to get to the other side.

The sound of armour clinking and dogs barking buzzed in her ears, but she kept it out of her head. Surely, they won't ever pass the Deadly Willow; it's the point that marks the start of Monsters territory. She was used to the elaborate traps and snares here, but the spikes might take out most of the guards, or at least enough for them to stop chasing her. Gracefully, despite her inability to walk any further, she leaped through the tripwires and climbed up to a safe tree branch, ringing the bronze bell as to alert the monster sentries.

The sun continued to set and she could make out the shapes of flying wings against the skyline; the Avariuses. They came tumbling out of the sky as the Mewman guards retreated at the sight of them. They weren't someone easy to mess with; their line was a prestigious clan in the Monster Kingdom, right behind the Royal Family and the newly risen Septarians.

Moreover, the few people who had faced their powerful wings and razor sharp feathers often don't live to tell the tale.

About five of them landed and immediately broke out, scouting the area for threats or dangers. The most massive one, with a golden crown resting on top of his feathers, stayed and offered her a greeting.

"Lord Sudo," the Queen waved, "It is always good to see you."

The gigantic bird-like monster nodded curtly to her, "Your Majesty," he said, "You called for us? Was there something troubling you?"

"I am here to give you a warning," At her words, Sudo's expression darkened, "And I am here to seek an asylum, as well."

"Asylum?" he questioned, "Are you to tell me you have been banished from your own Kingdom?"

"I escaped," she grunted, her face less than pleased, and he had the decency to look half-heartedly apologetic, "They put me on trial and accused me of treason when I showed compassion to your kind," His face scrunched up at her words, disgusted with her people, "And they plan to freeze me in a crystal for the rest of eternity."

"…My apologies, your Majesty," the monster bowed, "You are such an honorable Queen. You stood up for our kind, unlike any other of those pesky, arrogant Mewmans, and for that I thank you."

"No need for formalities or gratitude here, Lord Sudo. I was merely doing what I thought was right," she smiled tightly, "But may I speak with your King? I have a grave warning to be delivered."

His face turned grim, "Of course, your Majesty," He bent down and offered her his back; a clear sign of trust that not many Mewmans get to experience, if at all, and she held on as they shot into the air, several other Avariuses flanking them for cover.

Eclipsa could never get used to flying with the monsters; it's such a weightless feeling, so carefree and relaxing. Sure, she could fly as well, but the strain of keeping up her own magic in that form sometimes stresses her out, and she ended up having to land somewhere else. She didn't change into her Mewberty form often either. As soon as she sprouted wings she became extremely unstable and almost _invincible_ ; and that kind of power is dangerous and draining.

She turned her head towards the darkened sky and murmured in awe as the stars came out, little sparks of light among the triplet moons, or the Moirai: Clotho, Lachesis and Atropos. The Forest of Certain Death was not obscured by the Cloud Kingdom of the Pony Heads; which makes it the _only_ place to ever observe the stars.

Much too soon for her liking, they started to descend and her feet touched brown, soft pelts of fur, carefully lined towards the boardwalk made out of wood. The landing pad was _always_ the best thing about these aerial ports; the Avariuses really knows how to live in comfort. Sudo quietly asked her to follow him, and she dragged herself behind him, exhausted, heading towards the gigantic, extravagantly decorated Monster Temple, where Daemon and his clan resided.

"My King," Sudo bowed as he cracked open the sturdy stone doors, "Her Majesty, Queen Eclipsa Butterfly of Mewni wishes to speak to you."

All laughter in the Hall died out. Even though she was a trusted person with declared compassion towards the monsters, they knew she would _never_ set foot in the Throne Room at night without a good reason. Daemon, the majestically massive King of Monsters, waved and everyone exited the room, leaving him and the Queen alone.

They stared at each other's eyes tearily before lunging in for a desperate kiss, after what seemed like decades of being apart when she was forced to marry a Mewman, who is now long dead.

"My love," he rasped, taking a good look at her, his voice soft and concerned, out of breath, "What has _happened_ to you?"

She didn't say anything, instead opting to snatch the back of his head and made their lips met again in an even more passionate embrace. He gave in and indulged her, hands wandering to her waist and lifting her up into his lap, sighing in content.

"Mhm," he groaned slightly, breaking apart to catch his breath, "Darling, _it's been so long…_ But, _why_ are you here?"

" _I—_ I have a warning," He immediately let her go at her words, his hands still wrapped protectively around her small figure, "The Mewmans have seized my studies."

"About the Golden Magic?" he asked, surprised, "But— _how—_ "

"Hekapoo," she mumbled, "She walked in accidentally when I was conducting an experiment."

"Talk about bad luck," he scowled, "Do you need a place to stay, my love?"

She smiled, "That would be nice, but _please_ , let me finish my story before you decide to provide me protection."

He raised an eyebrow, "What else happened then?"

"I…accidentally disclosed the existence of the Avariuses and what they can do," she mumbled apologetically, "I'm _sorry_ ; I was just trying to _make a point_ to them that we _need_ the Golden Magic; you guys were getting stronger every day and we need to move forward as well—"

"Wait," he held up a hand, "You're telling me…You just told the Mewmans that they need to destroy us all before it's too late, and the only way to do that is to use your research?"

" _No—!_ " she immediately shook her head when she caught his meaning, "I meant; we need better defenses to create a balanced and fair ground; you need _power_ to keep peace—"

" _Peace?_ " The King narrowed his eyes, " _Please_ , Eclipsa; you know your _species_. As soon as they have something more _superior_ than us, they'll either eradicate our _entire kind_ or _enslave_ us." His voice dripped with accusation and venom, "The last time they managed to get an upper hand; we were pushed back and _trapped_ in the Forest of Certain Death for centuries before we decided to fight back. Have you learned _nothing?_ Are you _that_ ignorant? Or are you just faking innocence?"

" _Daemon!_ " she gasped, "I would _never_ betray your kind! You know more than _anyone_ else how I'd rather live among Monsters than Mewmans!"

He looked taken aback, " _I—_ of course; you've told me _that_ a thousand times—"

"Then do you not _believe_ me when they threatened to froze me in a crystal for all of eternity and the _first thing I did_ was to magically injure myself and escape to _warn you so they won't catch you by surprise?_ " she tried not to yell, frustrated. How _dare_ him; not trusting her? She only meant for the best; she _loved_ the Monsters— _She didn't want another war!_

She could feel her sins crawling on her back.

" _I—_ I'm sorry, my love," he stuttered, clearly embarrassed at the mere idea of doubting her, "Here, let me—"

"Please don't," she jerked back when he reached for her hand and tried to ignore the pain that flashed across his face, "I just—Can you give me some space?"

He looked stunned and hurt and _no—_ she _shouldn't_ be looking at him—he _doubted_ her—

"Of course," he said, in his royalty reserved tone, "May I take you to your room?"

She nodded and they walked silently through the beautifully carved stone hallways, decorated with epic scenes of battles and myths. This really was a _majestic_ temple.

He opened the door for her and she nodded her thanks, avoiding his glances. He sighed in defeat and wished her goodnight, before gently closing the door and leaving her alone.

As soon as her back hit the sheets, she broke down crying.

Her pride—her _stupid pride!_

It'll be the death of her someday. 

* * *

"Well, that sure is fun," Buff Frog said nonchalantly, closing the book.

" _What?_ No; you _can't stop there!_ " Star complained loudly, "You can't just leave it on a _cliffhanger_ like that! Eclipsa— _Grandma's crying! Alone!_ "

"Yeah dude!" Marco slurred, " _Not_ cool. You know that's just crappy storytelling, right?"

" _Come on!_ " she tried to use her infamous puppy eyes on the monster, " _Finish the story—!_ "

He merely shrugged and laughed as quietly as he could, "Sorry, Star. Babies are asleep. Have to put them to bed."

" _Please?_ "

He smiled kindly at her most adorable expression, "Maybe tomorrow. You and Karate Boy should go to bed, too."

She stole a glance at the boy sitting next to her and laughed; clear, _way_ too loud laughter, " _Yeah,_ no. It's still early and the night's still young, Buff Frog!"

He frowned, "Wait a second. Star Butterfly, are you—Oh no."

"What?" she snorted freely, "Am I _awesome?_ Heck yeah I am!"

"No," he shook his head, " _Drunk_. Are you _drunk?_ "

"Drunk?" she garbled, "Nah, _no way, dude!_ I haven't had a _single_ drop of alcohol!"

"No alcohol for _you_ , Star," Marco added, "You're too young for that— _Ouch!_ "

"Ah, my man Marco, always looking out for me," she slapped his back giddily, "You know Marco, I've never noticed _how much_ I've said your name lately—"

"How many honey did you drink?" Buff Frog demanded, "How could I _not_ _pay attention?!_ "

"We had, like, four of them," he answered.

"Total?"

"Nah, each of us had four of them."

"Okay, you both are drunk," he decided, " _Very_ drunk. Maybe giving you mead was not good idea after all."

"Mead?" he questioned, "Isn't that, like, _beer_ made out of honey?"

"In some way. You are correct, Karate Boy," he glanced to the side, "But I did not expect it to be so _strong_ for you! I hardly feel anything."

"Dude," Star stared at the monster, "You're, like, an _adult_ 'n stuff. And we're, like, these two kids who had _never_ had alcohol before—"

"Uh, actually—"

" _Don't_ interrupt me, _Marco!_ " she snapped, her speech slurring, " _As I was saying…_ Uh, what was I saying?"

"That you have to go to bed," Buff Frog helpfully supplied, "And sleep it off."

"Heh, _brilliant_ idea!" she grinned, before pulling Marco's hand with her, " _Let's go,_ Marco! We gonna have a _great_ night; I could already see it!"

Something paternal inside the monster kicked in and he immediately turned worried, "Wait, I do not think you two should—"

" _Come on!_ " she pulled even harder, and before he could stop her, the two of them disappeared behind the heavy wooden door, and what sounded like a lock clicked in place. He sighed heavily; he was _not_ prepared for freaking _teenagers_ in the house, and returned to his precious babies. They'll deal with this; he knew that, and Marco's _safety-ness_ should be enough to keep both of them out of trouble for tonight.

It's overdue that they talk about their situation, anyway. _And speaking from personal experiences,_ he thought, _Mead really does help one open up._

* * *

"So, _heh_ , Marco," she slurred, pushing him down into the bed and he took his seat, "What's up?"

"Star, _you're…_ " he stopped for a second, seemingly lost his words for a few seconds, "Drunk. There we go."

"No I'm— _not!_ " A hiccup cut her sentence in half, "Takes more than some to get a _Butterfly_ drunk!"

"Yes you are—!" he grumbled, "Your speech's all _messed_ _up_ and stuff."

"Hey, _yours_ too," she moved closer, and the look on his face was nothing short of pleasant, "And, um, you got this…blush on your face? It's _really_ cute."

If the blush wasn't there before, it sure was now.

"Heh, _Marco~_ " she laughed heartily, "You're as red as a tomato, haha…"

Closer, _closer…_

She mumbled, "Red…" They're so close now, she could smell the sweet honey on his hot breath and how it made her shiver in the best of ways—

"You—I don't know if you're red, but your face's all hot, too," he helpfully added, one hand clumsily cupping her markless cheek. His thumb gently swiped over where the hearts used to be, and she held his hand tenderly, nuzzling into his touch.

" _I—_ I'm sorry," he hiccupped, emotions thick in his voice, "I'm _so sorry_ , Star; this is _all my fault—_ "

"Shh, hey," she whispered, "It's not your fault. Even if it is, I _don't blame you_ , Marco. I forgive you."

Forgiveness. _Can you imagine?_

He cried into her hand at those honest words, his hot tears streaming down his face, repeating his overdue apology over and over again like a mantra.

She merely shushed him tenderly and cradled his shaking form with her arms, silently allowing her own tears to fall.

They snuggled up to each other that night, and dozed off peacefully in the other's embrace, dreaming of nothing but a bright future ahead of them.

* * *

 **where marco *touched* (cough, _/squeeze/_ , cough) is TOTALLY up to your interpretation *insert lenny face here***

 **i tried to imitate buff frog's speech patterns, even went as far as to consult my two russian friends, so the grammatical errors are intentional, alright? i tried my best, but i don't think i did a good job lol.**

 **star and marco's reaction after buff frog's story ended in a cliffhanger is what i felt when my fav fics ended in cliffhangers as well lmaoo i think you guys can relate.**

 **anyway, here's me ranting about the 'battle for mewni' so skip this if you don't want to read lol.**

 **but okay so like I TOTALLY CALLED IT I PREDICTED THE CORRUPTION CRACKS AND SHIT**

 **the only difference is that star's marks started on her back lol**

 **honestly, i love most of it (THAT STARCO REUNION OMFG FUCK ME GENTLY WITH A CHAINSAW) but the ending rubbed me in the wrong way. like, it took toffee two fucking seasons to plan out how to get his finger back and there was supposed to be this whole mystery about *why* he needed the finger, but star went all sailor moon up this bitch and rekt him in two minutes? i mean, the op-ness is probably the only *bad* thing in the entire two-hour event, and the new wand? what? i would've been absolutely fine if it ended with toffee walking away from a broken moon after marco punched him (THAT MARCO IS CLEARLY THE SUPERIOR MARCO THAT IS CANON IN THIS STORY NOW I WILL CHANGE HIM) but then star returned after 0.2 seconds of being ""dead"" and *wrecked his ass* with this absurdly invincible wave of magic? all in about six minutes? ? ? ?**

 ***cough* i'm trying to hold myself back this is getting too long.**

 **anyway, i'll try to update more; super excited for you guys to read the endings, but i'll be packing and shit before moving to usa (ALONE. BOARDING SCHOOL GUYS) so i probably won't be able to lol. i'll do my best :))**


	18. subaqueous

**helloooo :D yes, i'm not dead yet. just busy settling in with the new boarding school and stuff XD americans are so cool lol i have the best dorm parents XD  
anyway, here's a chapter. this one's long enough, i think, so here's your treat lol XD i have no idea when would the next one be, but soon, i guess. while i still don't have that much homework to mull over.**

* * *

Welp. Screw that bright future to the depths of hell.

Also the hangover. God, _fuck_ the hangover.

His head throbbed painfully and he groaned, trying to bury himself into the soft, inviting pelt further, blocking out the sound of fucking _birds_ chirping outside the window. He was _not_ ready to face the world yet. God, he was lucky he didn't need to open his eyes; he's pretty sure they'll pop out of his sockets if he does.

His fingers danced on warm skin and he thought, oh _great_ , here comes another embarrassingly hot dream about his best friend.

What he _wasn't_ expecting was how said flesh felt so real.

"Huh— _Wha—_ " Oh, _for the love of—_ couldn't he just make one coherent and complete sentence?

"Ugh…" Yep, there was her raspy voice, groaning, "What? Where am I—Oh, right."

Seriously, she's too cute to handle sometimes.

He made sure not to stray _anywhere_ near her this time; he didn't want to repeat that stupid mistake again anyway. When was that again? Yesterday? Two days ago? He felt as if he had slept forever; all concepts of time long gone from his brain, leaving behind nothing but pain and discomfort.

Oh, and also the feeling of her skin. It was _locked_ in his head; there was no way he could get it out.

And he was fine with it, to be honest.

She had been strangely quiet for the past five minutes.

 _What's going on inside her mind?_

* * *

His breath was brushing on her neck, hot and reassuring and it made her shiver all over.

 _Gods,_ focus _, Butterfly! You weren't supposed to_ enjoy _this; you should've moved by now! He probably didn't even know what he was doing to you; you can't use him like this!_

She kept telling herself to _back off_ ; he's just confused and he desperately needed comfort now, especially with his… _condition_ s right now. If he— _when_ he could think rationally again, he'd regret _everything_.

She couldn't do that to him even if it killed her to ignore the warm, fuzzy feeling settling in the bottom of her bare stomach.

Wait, _bare?_

She whipped her head around only to be _nose to nose_ with him, still adorably sleepy and an absolutely peaceful expression rested on his face. That— _That_ had been a genuine surprise; he hadn't looked like that in _ages_. Guilt bubbled in her veins when she remembered it was _her_ fault that he was like this; if she hadn't _messed up everything_ then he would still be—

 _No,_ she reminded herself, _Stop. It's not your fault; how many times does he have to drill that in your head for you to understand that?_

His nimble fingers ghosted her soft skin and she tried her best not to _tremble_ uncontrollably under his touch.

Holy _shit_.

That felt _amazing_.

Her entire body froze when he made a noise. _Fuck_.

Several seconds later, when she was sure she felt the pelts risen slowly, rhythmically, she let out a breath of relief she hadn't realized she was holding.

If she thought seeing him curled up behind her was the only surprise she'd get that morning, she was _severely_ mistaken.

As soon as the content left her groggy brain, an agonizing headache hit and it _hurt_ like a bitch. She wouldn't be fucking lying if she said it was _killing_ her.

"Oh, Gods," she grumbled, desperately massaging her temples in hope of relieving some of that unbearable pressure, "I will _never_ touch that mead again, I _swear—_ "

She wiggled in his embrace, trying to get halfway comfortable enough to fall back asleep; she was _not_ going to deal with this hangover now, not when his warmth behind her was _so_ inviting. His soft, breathless moan stopped her dead in her track.

She was, um…

He wasn't wearing—

 _Did they—_ Did they _do_ something last night?

 _Dear Celestia_ , she couldn't remember. Her memory capacity went as far as him admitting his faults and she _forgiving_ him, and then…

Did they kiss? She couldn't remember for the love of her life, but there was something stuck in her head, the strange, addicting feeling of soft, warm lips against her own—

Oh _fuck_ , what did they do?

She knew full well she should wake him up, run away, at least _do_ _something_ about this situation, but she couldn't find it in herself to move. He was _so good_ , pressed up to her back, full of love and familiarity; she couldn't help it—all she wanted was this illusion of being loved, being cared for in a way she knew he could never care for her—

" _S—Star?_ " His half-asleep voice inquired and _Gods_ , that was the single _hottest_ tone she had _ever_ heard coming out of someone's mouth. Something curled in the pit of her guts, hot white, overwhelming sensations that made her unable to keep still or just _shut her mouth_ for another second, _goddammit—_

"Hey, are you still—" he froze. Oh _shit_ , he froze. Did he notice anything? She shut her eyes and prayed to every entity out there for him to not say anything, please; she wouldn't be able to live with herself if he said a single word—

"Fuck," he swore under his breath and she cringed. Of course; what else was she expecting? This was all a mistake; they were positively _sloshed_ last night—they should've ended things as soon as they went out of control. Gods, she wasn't even _sure_ if they did _anything_ last night, and if they didn't, where was his shirt? And _hers?_ Fuck, what had she done?

"I shouldn't be doing this…" he mumbled to himself and she could barely stop herself crying. _That—_ That's right, Star; he's _not_ going to love you— _Gods, just stop it already!_

He tentatively wrapped his arms around her tighter, pulling her deeper into his embrace. He sighed, a blissful, overjoyed sound, and she couldn't comprehend what he was doing; was he _pitying_ her? She didn't want his sympathy, goddammit; she'd rather leave and never return—

"I love you," he whispered, so quiet she barely caught it, " _God_ , I love you so much."

She— _No fucking way_ ; maybe he was toying with her? _That—_ That's gotta be it, _right?_

"…You _what?_ "

* * *

And it was that moment, he knew…

He _fucked_ up.

"What the _fu—_ " he scrambled away from her warmth and somehow ended up on the floor, rolling around blindly. _God_ , did he—Great, just _fucking_ great! He _messed_ up—fuck, he messed up _big time_ ; she was going to be _so_ angry—

"Hey, _hey!_ " Someone took his hands and gently cupped the side of his face, " _It—_ It's okay, I know you don't mean it—You probably was still half asleep and thought I was Jackie or something, haha…" The laughter she forced out of her throat was the most painful sound he had ever heard. He knew this was his chance to get off scot-free; he didn't have to tell her what he meant in that brief seconds of weakness. She could—she could live and think it was nothing but a mistake, a _heat of the moment_ kind of thing. He didn't want to complicate their situation; they were perfectly _fine_ like this, just being friends who worked together to defeat Toffee and regain control of Mewni. _That—_ That's it, and he's _fine_ with that; he couldn't make the same mistake he did again, _goddammit!_

He _refused_ to become her weakness; something other people could exploit and use against her.

He couldn't bear to see her sacrifice anything more for his sake. She had been through well damn _enough_ ; she didn't need this burden, because that's all he was— _nothing_ but trouble, a parasite leeching off of her and holding her back. He knew if it wasn't for him, she'd be so reckless as to hunt Toffee down and demand a face to face, fight to the death battle.

Because God, he _knew_ her.

"…Marco?" she patiently inquired, but he could hear the fear in her voice. _Dammit_ ; what was he supposed to _do?_ Just one second of letting his guard down and now he _fucked_ up—he fucked up _big time_. He couldn't confess; that would destroy everything he had ever tried to do to keep her as safe as she could be, and if he denies it…

 _God_ knew what would happen.

Fuck, what he wouldn't give to be able to see her face now.

Seeing his hesitance, she ducked her head and let out a small, broken laugh, "Yeah, I kinda, um, figured it out. I'll, uh, be outside if you need me."

To her credit, he wouldn't be able to pick up the bitterness in her voice if he wasn't Marco Diaz.

"Star, please, _wait—_ " he reached out for her in his eternal darkness, but the only response he got was a calm, leveled voice.

"I just need a moment," she said, completely devoid of emotion, and the despair washed over him in drowning waves as she quickly made her way out of the room, careful enough to close the door silently behind her, mindful of his headache.

There was a clicking sound and he hung his stupid head in his hands, cursing himself and his cowardice.

He couldn't _fucking_ _believe_ it.

She forgave him last night and he fucked up again.

God, could he ever do _anything_ right?

* * *

She fell against the other side of the door, hand clamped on her mouth, desperately muffling her uncontrollable sobs.

 _He—_ She couldn't believe he could be so _cruel—_

Star pressed her knees up to her chest, searching for some comfort in the early hours of the morning, trying to convince herself that she didn't make a mistake, forgiving him.

Last night…Just last night, hell, just about _ten minutes_ ago, things were as perfect as she could possibly imagine, and now…

Gods, when will they be able to put this behind them? Or it would be something that will haunt them forever, until the day he either forgets about her and move on or she couldn't take it anymore and ends this misery herself?

Either way, it's _sure as hell_ is better than this painful feeling of her heart being shattered into a million pieces.

All over again.

"Good morning, Buff Frog," she mumbled to the monster sitting in the corner, maps and scrolls spread out on the table in front of him. Ugh, this _headache_ ; it wasn't like her day was shitty enough, was it? The gods just hate her.

"Good morning to you too, Star," he said merrily, "How is your head?"

"Painful," she replied and went for a cup of water. Her throat was bone dry. "And I feel like throwing up, but not really."

"Ah," His smile was sympathetic, "I will tell you next time there is alcohol."

She laughed, and immediately regretted it as the pounding got worse, "Geez, thanks, but do you have anything to cure this or…"

"I am sorry, Princess, but water is best for you now."

"Damn," she flopped down onto the chair and groaned to herself, "Do you have coffee?"

"Coffee?" he stared at her, "No; I do not. But I have tea."

"Good enough. Can I have a cup, please?"

"Of course," he left his place and headed over to the kitchen. "Princess, can we talk?"

"Uh, sure," He could feel her gaze on him now, albeit a bit drowsily. "What's, uh, up, Buff Frog?"

"I think I found cure," he busied himself with the kettle, not looking into her eyes, "For Karate Boy."

Okay, _that_ got her attention.

"Cure?" she repeated, wide awake now, "How? Where?"

"There is…" he chose his words carefully, dropping a few tea leaves into the boiling water, "Legend. About magical flower. Can heal any injury. Do you want sugar? Milk? Honey?"

"Legend? Why haven't I heard about this before? And, uh, a little milk and sugar, please. No honey, thanks. Not after last night," She took the steaming cup from him with a grin and he let out a hearty chuckle.

"I heard this legend from Waterfolk," he explained, showing her an old passage from one of his gigantic books, "Had a friend there. Long ago. Here."

She peered into the ancient texts, taking a sip from the sweet tea. Damn, this is _much_ better.

Her tired eyes flickered across the row of perfectly printed text, trying to get the information into her head.

 _The Star Flower._

 _Magical, golden flowers that grow in the wild and only in selected underwater fields of the Waterfolk Kingdom. Its petals, crushed into fine powder and treated with any member of the Royal Family's magic, turned into a healing paste. Apply the medicine to any injury and in a matter of minutes, that injury will be completely healed._

 _Due to constant harvesting, the Star Flower is now nearly extinct. The few specimens that survived the Great War are now being reserved inside the Royal Palace's Terrarium, under surveillance and care from the Queen herself._

"The Queen of Waterfolk?" she let out a small, terrified whisper. The ruthless woman had a certain reputation for being calculating and merciless; the only reason why the Waterfolk Kingdom managed to survive the war against the Butterfly themselves aeons ago. "How am I supposed to even _approach_ the flowers then?"

"The real Queen is long dead, Princess," he chuckled, a deep, rumbling sound, "Only her descendant live. And I know Queen Laureline; she will not harm you."

"Laureline?" Her eyes narrowed at the name, "That's…a nice name."

He closed the book, "Yes. And where's Karate Boy?"

"He's…not well," she wrung her hands together, clearly distraught, "I'll just, uh, be in the kids' room. If he asks, just tell him I went out, okay?"

"Why are you avoiding him?" he questioned, putting the book on the shelf behind them, "Something happen?"

"No, no," she waved his concern away, "It's just…you know…"

He gave her a kind smile and she couldn't look into his eyes.

"It is not a problem, Star," he offered after the long silence between them, "If you do not want me to, I will not pry."

"No, _I—_ " she turned away when he raised a curious eyebrow, "I'll tell you. It's about time I talk to someone anyway."

* * *

He _really_ shouldn't stay in bed any longer.

He's tired and his head hurt and he felt nauseous. He wanted to throw up, to cry, to scream, to do— _Anything!_ This silence was driving him _insane_ , as if he was waiting for something disastrous to happen. He was always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Anxious, scared, jumpy—

He was a mess after she left.

Marco tumbled blindly through the room, cursing furiously whenever he would bump into something. He hated _this—_ this vulnerable feeling. He's not a maiden in need of defense, goddammit! He was supposed to be the _hero_ ; he came here to _rescue_ her—

So much for being the knight in shining armor.

But again, he knew from the beginning there was no knight when she was involved. She was _such_ a capable Princess; royal and independent and brave—

Beautiful, confident, humorous…

Broken, tainted, corrupted—

Dying.

 _God_ , what had he _done?_ She wouldn't live for much longer; how could he _not_ spend the rest of her days with her?

She was _dying_ and he denied her his love.

She didn't deserve this. He didn't deserve this.

They deserve to be happy _together_.

He collapsed on the doorstep and heaved dry air, trying to vomit from an empty stomach. He couldn't stop now; he needed to get out, to find her, to _apologize_ for everything he had done—

Not for the first time, he considered being selfish.

 _God_ , he had been selfish before. Ignoring her feelings in favor for Jackie's and his own, neglecting her and refusing her confession because of his own damn morals…

But this time, it was a different kind of selfish.

He wanted to be happy.

He wanted _her_ to be happy.

He wanted to _be_ with her, no matter the risk. After all, how many days left do they have together? He couldn't even imagine the 'what if?' questions that would haunt him for the rest of his days if he didn't do this and _she'd die—_

No. He couldn't. He had made the mistake _once_ and he was _not_ going to make it again, _goddammit!_

He couldn't be her weak spot.

He couldn't be the reason she lost everything again.

Not even if his heart felt like it's cracking slowly and his soul felt like it's burning at the stake.

He had to stay strong. Stay _determined_.

For her.

* * *

There was a soft thud on the door and they both turned to him, pale, sweaty and looked like he had been to hell and back.

"Marco!" And there was her voice, still filled with nothing but worry and a slight panic, and he had to clench his eyes shut to keep the pain away. "Oh my Gods, are you okay?!"

"I—I'm fine," he offered her a weak smile, and he swore he could practically hear the disapproval in her tone, even though she didn't utter a single word. She sighed, defeated, and pulled him up gently before setting him down to the sofa next to her.

This is his chance. He needed to say something. Even though he was not going to be hers, he at least had to apologize.

"Okay, listen up," she began before he could open his mouth, "I— _We_ figured out how to heal you."

That got his attention, "Wait, what? _Heal?_ As in, I won't be _blind_ anymore?"

"Yeah," she said, "But you have to stay here. We found this… _cure_ in the Waterfolk Kingdom and it's dangerous to go there, so you have to wait here and I'll go get it—"

"Hold up, you want me to stay put while _you_ go do something reckless?" He put on an incredulous look, "Are you serious? If you're going then _I'm_ going, too!"

"You can't!" She protested, "You're _not—_ in the condition to go anywhere."

"What, you mean I'm broken? I can't handle myself?" He tried to keep the venom out of his voice, he really did, but she winced at his harsh words.

"No, of _course_ not!" she tried, "It's just—"

He folded his arms, "Look, it's either both of us or none of us," There was that sense of finality in his voice that she just couldn't ignore, "And if you sneak out, Star, I won't take the medicine."

"Marco, _please—_ "

"I said no."

"Marco Diaz!" She snapped, "Can you for _once_ , stop being selfish and—"

"I'm not self—"

" _Just let me do this for you?!_ "

Tears were brimming in her bloodshot eyes, and he was stunned into silence. She broke out crying, collapsing into herself and Buff Frog wrapped her in a tight embrace, trying to soothe her. He stared into the empty space, trying to process what she had just said. Let _her_ do this for him? Let her put herself in danger for him again? Did she even _know_ how many times she had saved his life? God, he still got the tally going even after she told him they didn't need it; he just _had_ to know.

He wished he could've done more for her.

"…Star?" he whispered softly, and her frustrated sobbing subsided so she could hear what he was saying, "I'm…sorry, but I _just—_ You've done _so much_ for me, you know that?"

"Done so much for you?" she asked incredulously, "Are you _kidding_ me? What have I _ever_ done other than putting your life in danger? You're not safe the _second_ I pushed myself in your life, and _this—_ your blindness is _my_ fault, goddammit!" She had to force herself to breathe, but truth be told, she was too emotional. All the insecurities and guilt stemming from watching him in danger that threatened his life every single time overwhelmed her, "I _just—_ Can you _please_ just let me fix this?"

She sounded so small and defeated he couldn't help but felt pity. And there was that pleading tone in her voice, something she knew he could never resist.

He shuddered and strengthened his resolve. He was determined.

"I'll be okay," he told her, "I can handle myself. Just please, let me come with you."

"Marco—"

"Look, if you managed to get the cure then I'll be healed, right?" She nodded before remembering he couldn't see her, so she hummed an affirmative, "Then let me go with you. I hate being blind."

She opened her mouth to protest but found no words, "Marco, are you _sure—_ "

"Of course!" his voice picked up a bit when he realized she was going soft, "I wouldn't want to be _anywhere_ without you, Star."

Okay, dial it back a little, Diaz. Don't send mixed signals to the poor girl.

"O... _kay…_ " Shit, there was that hesitance. He _messed up, God—_

"Then I will pack," Buff Frog cut the tension before something bad could happen, "You two need more supply for the trip."

Guess he's coming then.

* * *

"Marco, are you okay?" she asked, her hand clasped firmly against his as they hiked up a mountain, "We can take a break if you want to."

"No, no," he huffed, "I'm— _fine!_ "

She searched his face for a fraction of a second and sighed before setting down her backpack, "We're taking five. Ten if you need it. No ' _buts'_ , Safe Kid. You're pushing yourself too much."

"I grew up in Echo Creek; I can handle a few hills," he grumbled, winded, "Now let's keep going."

She was hesitant, "Are you sure? Marco, you were just injured a few days ago, you don't have to expense yourself—"

"I told you I'm _fine!_ " he snapped, and there was a pause, as if she was too shocked to even react, "Sorry, I didn't mean to—"

"No, you're right," she told him, "Let's go."

Goddammit. God _fucking_ damn it; he messed up again.

He felt that guilt already bubbling in his stomach, but he forced it down and tried to move forward.

He couldn't _wait_.

* * *

"Are we at…the Waterfolk Kingdom?" he asked.

They were standing on a gigantic cliff, overlooking a wide, crystal clear ocean. The beautiful sun was setting; they had walked for an entire day, and he could smell something sweet in the air. There was the sound of birds singing, of waves crashing against jagged rocks at the bottom, and he took a deep breath.

"Yeah," she replied, peering down into the fifty meters drop. Without magic, they're not going to make it. "But I don't know how to get in."

"What? I thought you knew this place?"

She rolled her eyes, "Well yeah, but I haven't been _there_ , per se. No Butterfly had for a long time. Ever since Grandma Estelle settled the war."

"Then how are we going down there?" he started to panic, "And it's underwater, so how are we going to breathe?"

He couldn't— _they_ couldn't give up now! They came _such_ a long way, and he could practically feel that window of opportunity in his hands; he was finally going to be able to _see_ again—

" _I—_ I'm sorry, Marco," she said, sad and small, "I don't know how to help you."

"Agh!" he screamed in frustration, "How— _Why?_ I was _so close—_ So close!"

He broke out into tears, harsh and ugly. She couldn't stand to look at him; he was so broken, and she couldn't fix him, even if she wanted to.

She remembered how he fixed her when she was at her worst.

Remembered how he pulled her back from the brink of insanity.

Determination filled her entire being and she gave a solemn nod.

She could do this. _For him._

Star took a deep breath and reached in for that infinite well of power inside her, black and dark and _deadly_. The magic flowed through her like a tsunami and she gasped, fingers gripping a tree nearby to stable herself. It felt so strange, foreign, but it greeted her like an old friend, and it felt so _good_ to have magic inside her veins again—she could live like this _forever—_

 _No. It's corrupted,_ she reminded herself, _It's going to take over you. Control it!_

Before the rush of pure electrifying magic passed, she casted a big bubble around them both, and he inhaled sharply when the ash grey membrane glided through him.

Too soon, the high subsided and she fell to the ground, exhausted. A spark of pain ran its way through her left arm, all the way down her legs. She cried out in agony and he caught her in time, screaming her name. But all she heard was a constant buzzing, her head spinning and her blood freezing over. She couldn't _breathe_ ; the pain was _too much_ , and she was barely even aware of his panicked cries, his constant shaking and pleading for her to wake up—

Then everything went quiet and there was that deafening silence again.

She found herself in a land filled with nothingness. Darkness was the only thing surrounded her, and she tried to look around, to find him, to find an exit— _anything!_ But her mind calmed down by itself and she slowly recognised this place from someone else's description.

The void.

"Grandma?" she called out to the emptiness, desperate, "Are you there? _Please_ , I have to get back; Marco can't be alone for long—"

"Star Butterfly," a voice said, small but full of undeniable fury, "What did I tell you about using magic in your state?"

"Eclipsa, _please!_ I need your help!" she pleaded, but the void answered her with a disapproval silence, "I'm sorry for disobeying you, but you did said that I can dip down when the situation was vital enough!"

" _Vital?_ How could it be _vital_ when you're using it to trespass into the Waterfolk's territory?" The voice rumbled in anger, "For _him?_ For his insignificant _eyesight?_ You know you only have _three_ chances before the corruption takes over; and you already used it twice for that _Earth boy!_ What about _Toffee?_ How are you going to defeat him without your magic, you _imbecile?!_ "

She cowered slightly at the Queen's harsh words. Eclipsa was right, of course. She really hadn't think this through, but if she was given another chance, she would've still done the same thing.

No regrets.

"Why are you so infatuated with him?" Her grandmother spat out those frustrated words, "You know he already got a mate; what are you _doing?_ He doesn't deserve you, and I've already told you that _hundreds of times_ , and now you're still hell bent on saving his life? What had he _ever_ done for you other than hurt you? Why are you still doing this?"

" _Because I love him, goddammit!_ " she snapped, unable to take it anymore. The voice was stunned into silence as she launched into a rant, "He was the kindest person I've ever met. He didn't expect me to be a proper Princess or tried to mold me into one; he _accepted_ me for who I was. He became my best friend, someone I can fully trust, someone I know would _never_ hurt me intentionally. For the longest time, Grandma, he was the only thing keeping me going. I couldn't deal with all of this alone—my mother's dead, my father's losing his throne, my kingdom's in a crisis, and _Toffee's_ still out there, planning something, and I lost my wand, my magic— _I lost everything_!" she cried, tears falling down her markless cheeks, "I lost everything, Grandma. And he's the only one I've got left."

She fell to the floor, drained and defeated. She didn't— _couldn't_ care about what the void thought about her outbreak, she was just too exhausted to even protest. Letting out all of those thoughts and emotions she had been keeping inside her for so long was satisfying but draining as hell.

The Queen thought for a moment. What her granddaughter said was… _alarmingly_ familiar. A flood of bittersweet memories came back to her and a melancholy smile dawned on her face. _These kids…_ they were exactly like her and Daemon from what seemed like so long ago.

Falling in love with someone who would accept you and love you for who you are, with no conditions, was the best kind of love.

"I understand, _mon chéri_ ," she said, "You really love him, do you?"

She nodded sadly.

"Then I approve," Eclipsa told her, "You, go and do what your heart desires. Don't make the same mistake I did, Star. Be _happy_."

And with one last smile, the void faded from her vision.

* * *

A blinding light greeted her when she opened her eyes and she gasped, jolting up.

He was right by her side.

"Star!" he cried, hand clasping her own tightly, desperately, "Are you okay? Oh God, you're injured; you need medical care! _Fuck_ , how could I be so selfish? _I_ made you do this— _I—_ I couldn't _fucking_ believe myself—"

"Hey, hey!" She caught his attention and there were fresh tears on his face, "I'm okay. I'm alright now. It's not your fault." Her hands cupped his cheeks and he sighed into her touch, trembling.

"I'm sorry," he said breathlessly.

"I know," she replied, "But I'm fine now."

She took in her surroundings once orientation had returned to her. They were sitting in an exceptionally huge bubble, greyish and transparent, but it seemed pretty stable. And they could breathe just fine here, so it would be more than enough.

"Do you want to go now?" she asked, her fingers rubbing his in comfort, "I think we're good."

" _Good?_ " he said incredulously, "Star, you're _bleeding!_ What do you _mean_ , good?"

Huh? She gingerly touched her left arm and—

 _Fuck_. Ouch, that stung.

"We don't have any medicine here anyway," she gritted her teeth; she didn't even notice it before he told her, _gods_ , "The sooner we get down there, the better it would be."

He seemed hesitance but nodded, "Alright, we'll go."

Marco took her hand and she had to physically restrain herself from making a little celebratory noise. She missed their intimacy, "Ready?" he asked her, and she swallowed, looking down at the drop.

"As ready as I'll ever be."

They held onto each other and pushed themselves off the cliff, plunging into the raging waves underneath, too intimidated to even scream.

A gigantic splash rocked the world and they disappeared.

* * *

It's been five minutes.

The bubble's still holding up, thank God. He constantly popped his ears but there was no pressure, nothing different from the surface.

Huh. Weird magic stuff.

They were quiet except for her tiny hisses of pain and he bit his lip, unsure of whether he should speak up or not.

Shit, this was all his fault. He pressured ( _heh_ ) her into this with his nagging; he should've never done that—

 _He didn't know she would dip down,_ he told himself, _It's not like it's his fault._

But God, he knew better than that.

Ten minutes, and he was starting to play with the loose threads on his scarf.

"Are we there yet?" he asked, ironically enough, like a five-year-old, extremely impatient kid on a road trip, "It's been _way_ too long."

"Marco," she scolded him slightly, and he was _sure_ she was mocking him, "If we're there, I'd tell you. Don't worry. Are you tired? Get some sleep if you want to."

He huffed in annoyance, only half trying to be less immature.

Fifteen minutes, and he's going insane.

"Star…" he called out, but she shushed him.

"We're here," Her voice was barely above a whisper, laced with awe and fear. She must've saw something bad enough to shock her like that, and at that moment he wished he could see more than ever.

The bubble rolled forward instead of only falling down and he lost his balance, tumbling over her crouching form before hastily standing up, "S—Sorry," he mumbled, face red.

"It's okay," she laughed, "But hey, you might wanna get behind me in a bit. Guards incoming."

As if right on cue, another voice somehow echoed through the thick water, "Halt! You have illegally trespassed into the Waterfolk territory, and in the name of the Queen, we shall arrest you!"

"I wish for an audience with your Queen," she used her solemn princess voice, and doubt slid across the guards' faces.

"Audience?" one finally laughed, "Who the hell are you?"

"I am Star Butterfly, Princess of the Butterfly Kingdom."

"Star Butterfly?"

"The _rebel_ Princess?"

"Your Highness, what are you doing here?" another questioned.

"Like I said, I wish for an audience with your Queen."

"Yes— _Of course!_ " The captain of that team pushed his soldiers to the side, "Right this way, Your Highness."

They pointed to the distance at a seemingly empty space, but once they passed the curtain of seaweed at the entrance of the cave, an entire city emerged, colorful crystal columns decorated the halls of enormous buildings. But far, far away, on the peak of a mountain, was a _majestic_ castle, with golden rooftops and diamond windows.

"Well," she muttered to him, "Welcome to Waterfolk."

* * *

 **HE SAID IT GUYS HE SAID HE LOVES HER YOU CAN ALL CELEBRATE NOW *throw confetti* and good news for y'all #letmarcoseeagain team :p he's gonna see real soon lol. maybe see some other things as well, y'know what i'm saying *insert lenny face here* yeah. REALLL soon ;)**


	19. kiss me before i fucking lose my mind

**i am SOOO sorry for disappearing :(( i have no excuses other than the fact that i was in a really bad mental state; i've been struggling with interpersonal relationships and a shit ton of problems, haven't had much time to write. but hey, good news; a new chapter XD hoorayyyy ^^ this one's a bit..special. quite hard to pull off, what with a new plot point and everything, but i think y'all will love this one ;) see ya at the end, my lovely dorks *hearts***

* * *

"So, what's the _deal?_ "

"Pardon me, Your Highness?" The servant asked back in a sickly sweet voice, and she rolled her eyes.

"You know what I'm talking about," her hand clutched his and he trembled a little, "Where's your Queen? We've been waiting for over an hour."

"Time is different down here, Princess," the man bowed his head but there was that strange tone in his voice, "It might felt like an hour, but it's only been ten minutes."

" _Ten_ minutes?" Marco exclaimed, "This is Hekapoo dimension bullshit again, right?"

"Don't worry, Marco," she patted the back of his hand, "Do not try to fool me. I know about Waterfolk, and time runs as one in one dimension."

She took in the room they're standing it. The bubble broke as soon as they entered the castle and to her surprise, she could actually breathe here, even if the air is still essentially water. Strange magic.

"Don't mind them, Princess Butterfly," another voice spoke up, "They were merely messing around. Apologize, Alexander."

"My deepest apologies, Your Highness." The man bowed a perfect ninety degrees and silently left the room.

Star turned around and…

Long, wavy blonde hair nearly completely covered a lanky figure, pearls and jewels adorning the curls. A shimmering blue dress with ribbons and laces and a train so long it floated in the water around her.

One single bright, sea green eye beneath the hair stared at Star, the other hidden.

" _Jackie?_ " she yelled in disbelief. _What the hell?_

"Wait, _Jackie?_ Star, what do you me— _Omph!_ " She gave him an elbow in the gut, her eyes murderously burning into the other girl.

"What are _you_ doing here?" she growled, " _How_ did you get here?"

The tall girl stared at her in shock, "Princess, I do not know what you are talking about…"

"Don't you _dare!_ " Star dropped into her defensive stance, arms flanking Marco behind her back, "How did you even come here? This dimension is sealed; you cannot get in or out."

"Sealed? So that's why I can't visit the Bounce Lounge anymore—"

" _Bounce Lounge?_ How do you know about it? I've never even taken you there—"

"Look, Princess," the girl held up her hands in surrender, "There must be some misunderstandings here. I am not this… _Jackie_ girl you spoke of. I am Laureline, Queen of the Waterfolk Kingdom."

Star eyed the Queen suspiciously. But the more inspection she did, the more she realized Laureline was indeed not Jackie. She's much taller, with longer hair and sparkling skin like the halo of a thousand pearls. But the most distinct feature was the tail she's sprouting, a beautiful shade of turquoise bedazzled with bright, translucent scales covering up until her chest. She was a majestic mermaid, not a human with a skateboard.

" _M—_ My apologies," she sputtered, trying to keep what little was left of her dignity, "I mistook you for someone I know."

"Someone who's not in very good terms with you, I might add," the Queen raised one of her eyebrows, but before Star could defend herself, she waved dismissively, "But no matter. Tell me, Princess, to what do we owe the honor of having you as our guest today?"

The older girl's tone was cheerful, but there was that underlying hint of warning in her voice that most people would miss. But Star was a Princess; she was trained to catch those kinds of things. Laureline was clearly suspicious of their motives, especially since there hasn't been a single Butterfly who had dared to come to Waterfolk in decades.

"We apologize for bothering you, but we are desperately in need your assistance, Your Majesty," It felt weird calling anyone with such a formal and noble title, but she ignored the discomfort. They needed to be on the Queen's good side after all.

"Assistance?" she repeated, "What is it that you're seeking my help for, Princess?"

"Please, call me Star," Her smile was a bit uncomfortable; no one had constantly addressed her ' _Princess'_ in over a year, "And yes, we would like to discuss something with you. Privately, if possible?"

Queen Laureline wordlessly waved the servants away and they gave a deep, perfect forty-five degrees bow before retreating, leaving the two royalties and Marco in the room. He swallowed nervously with a dry mouth; this girl seemed serious.

"Your Majesty, we came this far to ask for your Star Flower cure," she went straight to the point and Laureline's eyes widened a little, "This…friend of mine, Marco Diaz, is blinded after an accident. We've tried everything; please, you're our last hope. The Butterfly Kingdom will repay you in kind, of course, just _please_ , heal him."

The Queen was quiet, "I see, Star Butterfly. But are you aware that the Star Flower is currently under restrictions? The entire species is endangered, we have to ration the use carefully…"

"I know, Laureline," Her face softened a little when Star called her name, "I know. But we wouldn't have come all the way here if we didn't run out of options. I know how unwelcomed Butterflies are in your territory. So _please_ , can you save him?"

" _I—_ I'll see what I can do. But this matter concerns the Flowers; I'd have to discuss it with the Council…"

"I know what we're asking for is a lot," she reached up a little to take the girl's shoulders and a small involuntary smile tugged at the corner of the mermaid's lips, "But please. He's all that I have left. He's _everything_ to me. I don't know what you'll ask for in return, but whatever it is, I'll repay you in kind. _Whatever you want._ "

She couldn't miss the way her sea green eyes lit up.

"You really love your betrothed, do you?" A small melancholy smile shone through the mermaid's formal cold eyes. Star was stunned speechless, while Marco tried to remember what ' _betrothed'_ means.

An awkward cough broke the trance-like silence that followed after her little declaration, "Um, Your Majesty?" Marco hesitantly called out, "We're just friends."

It was his knee-jerk reaction, and he could tell by the way Star stiffened next to him that it was _not_ the wise thing to say. He's not an idiot; he knew that if romance was what Laureline wanted in exchange for the cure, then their best bet probably would be playing along, especially with how sincerely somber the Queen had been.

"I mean—" he stuttered, "I don't…know?"

Great. _Good job,_ you _dumbass_.

"Oh," the Queen clasped her hands together, disappointment deep in her eyes, "I see."

"I'll explain it to you later," Star quickly said, "It's a long story."

Laureline nodded, "Guards, arrange accommodations for my important guests. They'll be staying in the Red Room."

Marco choked out something incomprehensible and she stared at him quizzically.

"As for you two," she turned back to Star and the Princess offered her a reluctant smile, "Please feel free to refresh yourselves in our bathhouses and come down for a feast at sundown. You are in luck today; we're celebrating the Day of the Bloom. There will be a Ball. You are free to choose your attire tonight, so please dress accordingly."

With that, the Queen exited the room, leaving two confused teens behind her.

Finally, Marco spoke up, "What's a…Day of the Bloom?"

* * *

"Oh," he mused, "So that's what it is."

"Yeah, can you believe our luck?" she said through the other side of the steamy sauna, "The Star Flowers only bloom once every century, and we're here right when it'll be perfect to make the cure tonight. Tonight!"

"Yeah, but there's going to be a Ball as well?" he grunted, breathing in the hot air in his side and wiggling his toes in the burning water; how did they make water feel like water underwater? "How am I supposed to dance when I'm, well, blind?"

A sigh comes from the wall and he could practically see her roll her eyes, "Laureline's going to make and use the paste first, then they're going to celebrate. I thought you listened when she was explaining it?"

"Well excuse me, I was busy holding up a towel to cover myself!"

"What, you think I know she was going to break into the bathhouse?" she said sarcastically.

He protested, "And what's with this bathhouse anyway? Usually they have at least a few dozens of them in a palace like this; why did she insist on putting us together in one single room?"

"Because she thought we were betrothed, Marco. Duh."

His voice was slightly angry, "But seriously though, why would she ever think that?"

"—Never mind."

A comfortable silence settled over them and he took a deep breath, trying to relax and get some oxygen from all the moisture. This playing along thing was making him uncomfortable—not because he didn't want to be shipped with her; God, _no_ , but because it was dangerous. It's a risky thing, especially with how much effort it already took for him to lie to himself every day that he _didn't_ love her—

He found himself staring at the blank space where the wall separating them was and had to physically shake himself awake. _Stalker much_ , Marco?

There was a sloshing sound of spilled water and—

She started humming, a familiar tune that set his soul on fire.

… _Fuck_ , she could be so cute sometimes.

"It was no secret, the way that we feel," The lyrics started coming out and he was fighting with himself. On one hand, he wanted to join her and scream until his lungs burn, but on the _other_ hand—

Her voice was so pretty. Clear and high and it gave him shivers despite himself. He wanted to hear her sing; how could he interrupt something so perfect?

"Our love is so pure, our love is so real," He could just imagine it, Star with her plastic blue comb as a microphone and her eyes closed, jumping on her old canopy bed, enthusiasm rolling off her in waves, "You showed me your world, and it felt like a sign,"

"But you acted too slow and you ran out of time."

He could tell that she was waiting for him to join in. It's how they usually break their awkward silences; starting singing their souls out and laugh and joke like _nothing_ had ever happened.

He was tempted, _oh so tempted_ , to just pretend that they're safe and everything's fine, even though that little corner in his mind kept nagging him to prepare for the day that everything goes wrong.

He couldn't find it in himself to care, though.

"And now we'll be," he sang, and the smile in her voice was imminent.

"Just friends."

"We will be,"

"Just friends,"

"And now we'll be,"

"Just friends,"

"Be _just—_ friends."

"I didn't mean to hurt you," he stole the line.

She smiled, "You didn't have a clue."

"So you went out and got busy,"

"And found somebody new." She sounded strange, as if she tried to keep the emotions behind her cheery tone. But he picked up on it, because _of course_ he would.

He's Marco Diaz, and she's Star Butterfly.

"And now we'll be—"

"Just friends,"

"Oh, we will be,"

"Just friends,"

"And now we'll be,"

"Just friends—be _just—_ friends…"

Their song slowly died out and they took a deep breath. That was… _something_. He felt as if she would say something irreversible; the words were hanging in the air between them, _begging_ to escape her lips, but the servant knocked on the wooden door of the bathhouse and they both startled out of their moment.

"Your Highness," the man called, "Please return to your room so the handmaidens could assist you in preparing. The feast will begin shortly."

"What about Marco?" she asked, already grabbing a bathrobe and putting it on.

"As for Lord Marco Diaz, the gentlemen's room is in the Coral Hall, if he would kindly follow me."

She glanced at him quickly before clearing her throat, "Surely you're aware of his…conditions?"

The man bowed, "Of course, my Lady. Assistance is ready for the Lord outside."

"I'll be fine, Star," he reassured her after blindly grabbing around for his own robe, "Don't worry about me."

Forgive him if he wanted a little _independence_ , alright?

She nodded grimly and gave the servant a warning look before leaving the steamy bathhouse, the pitter patter of her feet against the cool marble floor made him smile. The man asked for permission before grabbing his hand and gently led him over to a small palanquin, carried by two mermen. Or he _thought_ they were mermen.

The walk wasn't that long; Coral Hall is only about five minutes away from the Pearl Bathhouse. He sat on the carrier, silently thinking about how he would be able to see again in a matter of hours, and what he would like to see first.

The first thing that flashed across his mind was her smile; not the fake, diplomatic one she wore for the world to see, but the real, genuine one that seemed to make the room glow around her. He couldn't help but grin stupidly at the image.

She really was the best thing that had ever happened to him.

"Lord Marco, we have arrived," the servant said, and they helped him out of the sedan chair. He stumbled helplessly for a moment before they took his hand and led him inside what seemed like a huge open place, and asked him a million questions—

 _What's your favored color?_ Red.

 _Shoulder pads or no?_ Yeah sure, why not.

 _Tussles?_ Nope.

 _Hairstyle?_ Just cut it a little shorter; he stopped caring a long time ago.

 _Rings?_ Jewelries? Nah, that's too much.

In a staggering twenty minutes and after a thousand hands working on him at the same time, he emerged from the curtains, decked out in a soft silk and cashmere suit that seemed to just hug his lanky figure perfectly. He idly wondered where or _how_ did they get wool down here.

His hair was washed again and cut, flawlessly styled despite the lack of any kind of hair product. Delicately spun chains hung from the end of his waistcoat to the scabbard of his sword—they gave him a cover for the wand! They felt smooth and cold and they looked intimidating, but they were practically weightless.

To complete the look, they gave him a pair of velvety leather gloves and a little butterfly pin on the breast of his shirt. To inform everyone of his honored guest status, they said, and he just nodded absentmindedly.

If he got such a makeover, what in hell would be in store for her?

His hyper imagination immediately painted a picture of a _literal_ angel with flowing blonde hair and eyes as blue as the ocean. And that _smile…_

He shook his head when the man called his name.

"We shall head over to the Grand Ballroom now, Lord Marco. Would you like anything else?"

"No, I'm fine," he said, trying to put the thoughts of her away, "Let's go."

The servant gave a bow and led him outside by his hand, "Please, make yourself comfortable. The journey would take around ten minutes, since the Hall is on the other side of the Palace, second floor, and the palanquin is a little difficult when it comes to stairs."

" _Oh—_ I can walk then," he tried leaping off the carrier but Alexander stopped him, "What? It's _fine_ ; I walked all the way down here, didn't I?"

"Lord Marco, please; the Queen will have our heads if we fail to serve you." The man begged, and he sighed, sitting back on his spot. What's with her dimension and slavery? He thought because of magic, they must've been a more advanced civilization?

Minutes ticked by and he could hear the music and chatter going on in the distance. A nervous feeling buzzed in his chest; how did he look like? Was he decent enough for a party like this? Would he embarrass her, a _Princess?_ God, he hoped not.

"Lord Marco Diaz of the Butterfly Kingdom!" a man announced and he winced, awkwardly curling into himself when the conversations in the ballroom died out almost instantly. He could physically feel people's eyes on him, curious and judgemental stares from royal strangers he had never met. The word 'Butterfly' was whispered like a bad omen, and gossip broke out as soon as he stepped inside. They haven't heard her last name before? So where was Star?

"Her Highness, Princess Star Butterfly of the Butterfly Kingdom!" the same man announced and he whipped his head around, imagining her stepping into the room. Someone took his hand gently and he keened, leaning into her touch. He'd admit it; he missed the feeling of her touch. A _lot._

"It's alright, Marco," she said, and he melted at the sound of her voice, "I'm here. We're going to do this, and you'll see again in just a moment."

There was something shaky in the way she talked, but he chalked it up to being in a room full of her ancestors' enemies. But this was a new time, a new chapter in the History of Mewni; she was going to be their ambassador. But nervousness was reasonable; their relationship with the Waterfolk Kingdom depended on this particular party, after all. One wrong move and they might be dead, and a war would be waged.

But hey, no pressure. It's a party after all; have fun.

A clear sound of a bell rang across the vast ballroom and people quieted themselves. There were still shuffling, but as soon as the Queen began, a complete silence shrouded them all.

"Greetings, people of Waterfolk," she said, and he could hear the hint of a smile in her tone, "Today, we are here to celebrate our sacred Day of the Bloom, when our magical Star Flowers are deemed qualified after five years! A new batch of the cure would be created right after the harvest. And specially, tonight, we have guests. From the Butterfly Kingdom, I present to you; Princess Star Butterfly and her companion, Lord Marco Diaz."

Polite clapping ensued and he whispered to her, "When will they stop calling me Lord? It's not like I'm royalty."

She waved back to people smiling at her, "Well, they don't know that, do they? Plus, you're with me; in their eyes we're betrothals going on a diplomatic trip for my Kingdom."

" _Only_ betrothals?" he snorted, "What, they didn't want to take it up another level and say we're married with two kids and a kingdom to run?"

"Well, it's an universal law that no Mewnian are allowed to be wed before the age of sixteen, and I'm only fifteen, so the most we can be right now is betrothed." She probably could see the hesitance in him, so she lowered her voice, "Marco, be _serious_ ; do you want to sell this or not? I tested the waters; she won't help us unless we're betrothed. She used to have her own sweetheart that was fatally sick, and no matter how she begged, her father wouldn't give her the cure. She didn't want to be like the former King and she pities us; _that's_ why she's helping us."

He nodded wordlessly, "So that's how it is. But how are we going to do this? Wouldn't your family know?"

"We have as much as two days until the rumours reach my kingdom. By that time we'll need to get out of here. Normally, the Butterflies would never enter Waterfolk territory, but I'm sure Etheria's looking for us. She would come after us as soon as she knows where we are."

"Friends!" Laureline waved the two teenagers over and they stumbled, his hand clasped tightly in hers, "The Flowers are ready. And after consulting with the Council, we have decided to offer you assistance in your time of need, as a gesture of peace after our long, hard war. No more violence. No more bloodshed. It's a new time for all of us; a new future that will be better and brighter; one where the two Kingdoms will live together in harmony!"

Thunderous applause rolled across the room in waves. People were cheering for peace, for a truce between the Kingdoms. With the Butterflies and Waterfolks now at good terms, the entire dimension is free of war; the Ponyhead, Johansen and Lucitor Kingdoms were all Queen Moon's allies, and the Pigeon Kingdom's on Queen Laureline's side.

The girl held up her hand and everyone immediately silenced themselves. A murmur of awe escaped the Princess next to him as Laureline's dazzling light blue magic levitated the flower in the air and seeping into it bit by bit, making it glow a bright color as beautiful as the Queen's eyes. They all watched closely as the golden petals of the only Star Flower bloom were presented and placed in a silver mortar and pestle set enhanced with glistening magic. Laureline's nimble fingers gripped the pestle and gently crushed the flower into a fine paste-like substance.

Someone motioned them forward and Star took his hand.

A bandage was wrapped around his head and he could feel cool, soothing gel on the lids of his eyes.

Something tingled and suddenly, the void didn't seem so dark anymore.

He blinked several times behind the cloth. The gel was gone, leaving the bandage as dry as if it had never even been there.

Her shaky fingers reached up and unwrapped the plaster from his head after what seemed like forever.

Light invaded his vision for the first time in a week and he scrunched up his eyes.

"Woah," he groaned, "This palace is _way_ too bright."

" _Marco!_ " She tackled him into a hug and he laughed breathlessly, his arms desperately enclosed her in an embrace. She cupped his cheeks and scanned him from different angles, "Can you see me? _Gods_ , Marco, _can you see me?_ "

He took her hand and nuzzled into her touch, "Yes, Star. I can see you."

There was that brief silence between them, so peaceful and ecstatic that they seemed to forget about everything else but each other. Her smile was as addicting as he had remembered it, her eyes a gorgeous blue unlike anything else he had ever seen. Her hair was short and styled, her dress made with delicate white lace and crystal shimmering under the chandeliers. Her arms…

Her left arm was wrapped in bandages, a tiny bit of blood soaking through.

She shouldn't have hugged him.

But before he could say anything, a loud cheer erupted from the crowd. People screaming and shouting and clapping for young love, admiring their little display of intimacy. They awkwardly waved to the mermen underneath and Star turned over to Laureline with a huge smile and teardrops in her eyes. The Queen nodded, pleased, and reach up to wipe away her own tears of joy.

"There's nothing I can do that would be enough to repay your kindness, Your Majesty," she took Laureline's hand and the girl smiled back, wide and genuine.

"I'm happy for you, my friend," she said, "And please, call me Laureline. Formalities are not needed in this friendship."

"Thank you so much, Laureline," she told the young woman with a breathless laugh, "I owe you."

"That you do, my friend," There was that twinkle of mirth in her eyes that Star didn't miss, "That you do."

* * *

"And now, we shall honor our guests with a dance!" The Queen announced, "Musicians, play your best waltz!"

And believe it or not, karma came after them.

 _Apparently_ , the Blood Moon Waltz was a _very_ popular melody.

He met her eyes and they had to look away. It was too intense; the memory of their few dances together still too fresh and painful. The first one marked the time their souls were bonded, when they were officially destined for each other. The second time, she was so broken all they could do was dance together as he tried his best to soothe her pain.

And now, the third time?

She _fixed_ him. She had come this far, worked this hard, been prepared to exchange anything and everything she had just so he could see again—

And guilt completely engulfed him as all he could think about was how _impossibly_ alike Queen Laureline was to his Jackie.

The girl was slightly older, maybe in her twenties or so, with platinum blonde hair and sea green eyes brighter than the chandeliers in the ballroom. Shells and pearls complimented her beauty, and they looked just like that one necklace his girlfriend always wear around her neck for some reason.

He idly wondered what would Jackie look like as a mermaid, with turquoise scales covering her entire torso and pearly white skin shimmering under the candlelight—

Laureline cleared her throat and he realized the music had replayed itself while he was distracted, and Star was standing in front of him, her feet shuffling awkwardly, waiting for him to start the dance.

Like an ass, he yelped and took her hand quickly, "Oh, right! Of course—"

Indistinct giggles echoed down the hall and he could feel his face heat up uncomfortably.

"It's alright," she told him in hushed tones, "I know the Queen's appearance is a shock."

He swallowed and started moving, spinning his Princess around, "Sorry. She just looks _so much_ like—"

"Like _Jackie,_ " she confirmed, gracefully making her way across the dance floor. Mermen cleared their way for her, head bowed slightly in respect. The mermaids whispered excitedly to each other, clearly in awe of how perfect the Butterfly royalties are moving together, "Maybe she's the Queen's lost twin?" It was meant to be a joke but she couldn't keep that doubt from her voice.

"Maybe," he said, counting the beats and steps in his head for reference. He did not want to mess this dance up, "Or maybe it's just coincident."

She snorted, "C _oincident?_ Please, the girl has Jackie's entire face, down to the freckles! It's too much to be a coincident, Marco." Then, in a slightly lowered voice, she whispered, "Do you think this has anything to do with Toffee?"

"What does Toffee have anything to do with this?" he muttered in disbelief, "I'm sure the Queen's not a fifteen-year-old girl with a skateboard, Star."

She let out a deep sigh, "I hope you're right. But just so you know, I don't have any good feelings about this."

* * *

" _Damn_ , that was one heck of a party," laughed Star, her hand pulling his out to the balcony.

"Yeah," he agreed, "A bit of an _eye_ strain, eh?"

She stopped and gave him a playful glare, "No, bad Marco. No eye puns, you dumb-dumb. Too soon."

"You know you love them."

"I do, and I hate it."

He let out a clear laughter and she couldn't help the blush on her face, "Man, it's great to be able to see again. I mean, look at you. You look absolutely _gorgeous_ today—" he trailed off, as if slowly realizing how much he had been staring at her the entire night.

She blushed even more, " _T—_ Thanks. I tried my best." Finger guns? _Really_ , Star?

Silence followed them as he tried to hide his embarrassing outburst, "So, um, I think I saw a greenhouse just outside. Do you wanna go there?" She asked, nervously fidgeting with the lace of her dress. He nodded, his eyes still training on the distant horizon. The sky down here was so… _strange_ , with a slightly reflective surface that he could see as the water level. Lights shone from the cobblestone streets under, random bubbles came and gone like stars. This place truly was magical.

"Look, Star," he sighed. Time to get this out before it kills him, "About the betrothal thing—"

" _It's fine!_ " she said quickly, "I don't mind; it's just an act and plus, you're not _blind_ anymore so…" He couldn't have missed that little wistful tone at the end of her sentence even if he wanted to.

"No, I mean…I feel bad that we lied to Laureline, you know."

Her face relaxed at his clarification, "Well, _technically_ , we didn't. I mean, I told her I'd do _anything_ in return for your sight, and I meant it. No doubt in that."

She had never looked more beautiful in the moonlight. How did the moonlight even get this deep underwater?

He stared at her in amazement, "You really mean it, do you?"

"Of course," she laughed, "I'd do anything for you."

She fell quiet as she realized what she had just told him. And can you blame him if he was surprised? He knew that she would definitely do _anything_ for him; she had saved his life God knows how many times, but hearing her uttering those words out loud…

"You don't _have_ to, you know?" Like an idiotic masochist, he turned away from her. Being blind for a while had helped his hearing; he couldn't miss the little sharp inhale that escaped her and he knew, he just _knew_ , she must be in _so much pain_ right now—

"I know," she muttered, "But that doesn't mean I _won't._ "

"What do you mean?" His glance met hers, and she wasn't crying, but her face wasn't stone cold either. She seemed to have had enough of their dancing around, never deciding on what to do, because she took his hands and stared him straight in the eyes.

"I'd do that for you because I love you," There it was, _finally_ —after _so long—_

That's all he needed to hear.

But she continued on, filled with determination.

"I love you, Marco. And I know I _shouldn't_ , you have Jackie already, and to Earth people this is _extremely_ immoral, but I honestly don't know how long we can hold out—how long _I_ can hold out. Toffee's still out there, my own _family_ 's hunting us down, we're in life-threatening danger every second. And if they kill me before I get to tell you that I _love_ you, I would _never_ forgive myself," She took a deep breath, "Look, I don't know what I'm supposed to do now or how we're going on from here, but I've said everything I needed to say. No regrets. Because believe me or not, I really do love you."

And how was he supposed to stop himself at all when she started saying things like that while looking like that, with that tiny smile tugging at the corner of her lips, that slight blush on her cheeks and that twinkle of _sincerity_ in her eyes—

He pulled her in for a desperate kiss, so, _so_ glad that he could finally see her again. See how she shivered in his arms, how she blinked in surprise and how her lips trembled and her hand thrown around his neck in their reckless passion, without a care in the world…

They kissed and kissed, all tongue and teeth and swollen lips, before breaking apart with a satisfied sigh, a breathless laugh and love shining in their gaze for each other.

"I love you," he told her, and to her credit, she didn't look taken aback.

"You have _no idea_ how long I've been waiting for that."

* * *

 **FESS UP XDDD FINAL FUCKING LY, AMIRIGHT FOLKS? nineteen chapters XD that's a new record for me, geez; i think the slow burn tag's accurate XDD anyway, enjoy your sweet starco while you can ;) everyone knows it's the calm before the storm, lol XD one final storm and we're done, my dudes *throw confetti* or are we? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)**


	20. summary

okay so a lot has happened in the past few months.

first of all, i'm sorry to break y'all hearts, but i don't ship starco anymore. it was good while it lasted, but the new episodes and how tomstar was canon and they _still_ pushed for starco in 'booth buddies' got me quite a bit, well, turned off. i've written out three endings for this fic, true undertale style; one bad, one neutral (ish), and one good. and even though it's been long and now i'm a bit repulsed when i look back at those because _gods that's cringy_ , i still think you guys deserve those endings after sticking with me for so long w

so a brief summary for the chapters i haven't written.

* * *

Star and Marco came back to the palace and Laureline had a look on her face as if she'd known they were lying all along. But she agreed help them anyways, since she could clearly see the feelings they have for each other. They came clean to her and thanked her for her help, and she offered for them to go stay at one of her summer cottages to just unravel themselves from stress.

So they agreed, took a break and ended up just cuddling with each other, being all in love. They talked out all of their problems and just spent time with one another like the old days, except with a lot more kissing. They ended up staying at the cottage for two days.

By the time they got back, the Waterfolk kingdom has been attacked by Toffee. Laureline was nowhere to be found, and her entire court was soulless, flying up like balloons.

Star and Marco were horrified and enraged. in a surge of emotions, Marco managed to use his sword wand to catapult them to the surface safely, and Star demanded they go find Toffee to solve the problem.

They found Toffee in the ruins of Castle Avarius. The monster was pulled there by instinct, Ludo still reluctant to leave the place he grew up in.

Unfortunately, Toffee had poked a hole in the barrier Moon put on Mewni and managed to open a portal to Earth and got Marco's parents and Jackie. Him and Star and Marco faced off in Castle Avarius, rebuilding itself with magic, and Marco was presented a choice. Either give up the wand and surrender both himself and Star and Toffee will let his loved ones go, or continue and he'll kill them all. And Marco, after a long silence of making decisions and one look at his parents, unconscious and beaten up and Jackie, in bad conditions as well and was looking at him pleadingly.

The story splits here.

 **If he chooses them.**

Marco and Star were put in a prison, and Star was struck with shock, unable to process Marco's betrayal. Toffee took the wands and was working on melding them together again to make the original, uncorrupted wand. Meanwhile Star was having a breakdown and refused to forgive Marco for his betrayal.

Bad ending: Chapter 21: lovesick.

 **If he chooses Star.**

Marco refused to give in and prepared himself for battle. The final battle with Toffee was epic: Marco with his wand sword and Star with her new agile wings. She would swoop down and carry him out of Toffee's reach, while he slashed down with his blade and engulfed the monster in fire. When they were wandering in the wild Star taught Marco how to use the wand, since it won't accept her as an owner anymore because she no longer has magic. But Marco's effort weren't enough to create anything other than a blast of dangerous green fire. Marco only has the tiniest traces of magic in him; the Monster Arm, the Blood Moon Ball bond, the effects he had from reading Eclipsa's chapter, and from close proximity with Star and in turn, her magic, for over a year. But the wand chose him.

But Marco was knocked unconscious. Star, in desperation, dipped down with her corrupted black magic and the sword changed when she touched it, morphed into a scythe, but remained a version of her wand. Instead of casting a spell, Star's black magic corrupted her consciousness and she wasn't fully in control of what she did. She used the scythe to _physically_ slice Toffee into a million pieces. The magic from the scythe prevented Toffee to regenerate, so his death was extremely painful and brutal. Ludo's body was already melted and resembled Toffee, with a tail, arms, face, everything from the Septarian. Nothing was left of Ludo.

Toffee was dead, pieces of him spread too thin, almost dust like, to regenerate, leaving nothing behind but the half star crystal from her wand.

Unfortunately, Marco was conscious when Star tore Toffee apart, and he was horrified. Scared of how she wouldn't answer him; how she was completely lost in her own sadistic, horrible world. Scared of how dark she felt, how hollow and cold and inhumane. He sprung into tears when she snarled to the pile of dust on the floor, "That was for Lekmet." His cries broke her out of her black magic possessed state, and she stared in horror at what she'd done. She tried to approach him, to check on him if he's okay or not, but he recoiled. His instincts wouldn't let her touch him.

But after seeing Star cried about how much of a horrible person she was, he realized that this was still Star Butterfly, his best friend and partial lover. They haven't put a definite label on their relationship yet, and they liked that. But she was still herself, just broken and detached. He could fix her.

So he did. Instead of staying away from her like his instinct screamed at him to, he walked over and closed her in a hug, telling her that it's alright, it's all over now. They shared a soft kiss and both of them calmed down, deciding that finding her mother and the Magic Instruction Book was the priority now.

They found Moon encased in Toffee's magic crystal. Star tried to get her out to no avail, so they brought the entire crystal back to the Butterfly Castle instead. They also found Glossaryck and the real Book, the former bound to the Book and forced to keep silence in a coma.

Back in the castle, Baby managed to wake Glossaryck and she asked him how to revive everyone. He showed Star the spell but she couldn't do it, since the spell is only possible if you use pure golden magic by combining pink and green magic, and she only has black magic in her veins.

So Marco had to cast it, because Star couldn't afford to have another black magic episode; he barely managed to pull her out of it the last time. This was the spell to purify Star's magic. She gave him a quick lesson on how to dip down, not fully confident but they didn't have any other choice.

But since he only had a tiny amount of magic in him, he had to sacrifice something for the spell to work. His feelings about her. Feelings themselves are a kind of magic. Love is the purest form of pink magic. And the wand was infested with green magic already so he didn't need to find it anywhere.

They were reluctant, but the corruption had gotten so severe that if they don't do it soon then she won't ever heal. So they said their tearful goodbyes and he casted it, after making her promise him that she will find him again and promising her that he will love her again.

Her magic returned and she fixed everyone else. The only problem now was Marco.

He was still sitting in a corner, passed out after making that sacrifice. After a quick discussion with her parents, Star decided to return him back to Earth with his parents, and possibly stay out of his life forever. But River reminded her of her promise and she sighed. The King and Queen sent their daughter back to Earth and let her stay there for as long as she wanted after also effectively wiping everyone's memories about her from Song Day forward. So things were fine, but it was still awkward.

So he was back with Jackie again. Marco and Star were still friends, and this time she was happy that she was able to be by his side. But she was still tormented by that promise she made him.

 **If she ignores the promise:** Neutral Ending, Chapter 22: are you happy?

 **If she follows through with the promise:**

He felt something familiar about her and developed feelings again, especially after their prom night and the Blood Moon decided to show up, giving him back some of his memories. They ended up together after Jackie decided to let him go, being friends with the both of them instead. It took them four years but Star and Marco were finally able to retain their promises. They're both nineteen when they decided to go back to Mewni.

But the nobles did not allow Star to marry Marco, her relatives not wanting to spoil the Butterfly bloodline with Earth blood. Etheria threatened to wage war against the Queen if the Princess marries Marco, and unfortunately, most of the Butterflies agree with her. Star tried to argue that Marco had saved the entire dimension; they should be thanking him, but the ignorant people wouldn't take no for an answer. They, instead, demanded for her to be married off to the Underground, to Tom, despite him furiously denying; he knew that Star loves Marco and was genuinely happy for them. With the possibility of a civil war that might lead to a revolution right after Queen Moon returned to her reign, Star had no other option but to marry Tom to settle the people. Her parents protested, saying that she deserves to be happy with Marco, but she didn't listen. She had made up her mind about becoming a proper Princess and do what's best for her people.

Before marrying Tom, she made a promise with Marco. Give her two years, enough for her to give birth to a girl so her daughter could be the next Queen, and then she'll find him. The Butterflies cut off all communications to Earth, isolating the Princess in the Underworld. Two years later, she gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, her and Tom's daughter, Lucida Butterfly. Tom thanked her for everything, promised that he would take care of their daughter, and sent her on her way.

King and Queen Butterfly announced that the Princess died from childbirth and sickness in the Underground, and that Lucida was to be brought up to the Butterfly Kingdom and raised there by her father and grandparents. They let Star return to Earth, where she was most happy.

Marco lived with his parents when Star was in Mewni. He went to college and moved out. Jackie stayed by his side as a friend, supportive and everything. When Star came back, she congratulated them, being happily in love with her boyfriend of five years.

Star and Marco reunited and lived together ever since.

* * *

and welp, that's the ending of 'know.' it was a wild ride guys, and while i may write more things, i think i'm just not gonna stay in the fandom anymore. i believe i've moved on from the show. but it was such an honor accompanying you on this journey, my longest work XD i love all of you, and once more, thank you for sticking with me through this w


	21. lovesick

If the situation wasn't so dire, she would've laughed.

What _else_ was she expecting?

When put on a balance against his parents, _of course_ she would lose.

Despite her best efforts to be rational about it, she couldn't help but think that he didn't choose them, he chose _her_.

That explained the emotions storming in her mind and the bitter taste on her soul.

She knew it…she knew it…

She knew from the day she gave her heart to him that that was the biggest mistake she had ever made in her entire life.

The biggest mistake she will ever make.

Cowering in the corner and curled up to herself, Star tried desperately to silence the demons in her mind, stop the hurricane in her head and drown out the thoughts about him. He—he didn't deserve it anymore.

 _Why are you making excuses for him still?_ A female voice snapped at her and she shook violently, _He chose Jackie. He didn't choose you, despite your best efforts to be the one for him. You naive idiot; you kept trying to appease him; look at where it got you,_ The girl laughed maliciously, _He will always choose her. Admit it. You're nothing but a second choice._

 _You're worthless. You're nothing but a burden._

 _You're replaceable._

"Stop—" she begged, shaking her head profusely, "Please just stop—he's not like that—"

 _Really?_ The unnamed girl mocked, _Don't lie to yourself, Star Butterfly. You know what he did. You know how horrible it is. He ruined you. But you kept turning the other cheek because you're afraid, aren't you? You're scared he would leave you. Abandon you. Well, guess what? He already did, you stupid girl._

"Stop!" she screamed, "Please, I beg you—"

 _Pleading won't get you anywhere, Butterfly,_ The girl rolled her eyes, _Look at what's left of you. Weak. Helpless. Pathetic. A mere shell of your former glory; the independent, rebel Princess._ The girl snickered.

 _What a disappointment._

"I'm not—weak," she broke into a coughing fit, her blood splattered the cold stone floor. She could feel invisible insects crawling on her skin, biting marks into her flesh, "I'm strong. I—I don't need him," she sputtered.

The girl stared at her for a few moments before breaking out into laughter, _You're serious?_ She asked, wiping tears from her fully black eyes, _That must've been the funniest thing I've ever heard._

 _You can't even keep him by your side. What's there for you to boast about? Face it. He's gone. He's not yours anymore._

Star sobbed heartbrokenly, her cries echoing through the mostly empty prison.

 _Ah, aren't you miserable,_ She cooed sarcastically, _Come on, what's your problem? Quit your crying; you're just going to let that bitch takes what was meant to be yours?_

"What do you—mean?"

 _So he chose her this time,_ She rolled her eyes, _Big deal. He was meant to be yours; the Blood Moon bonded you two. He belongs to you. And don't you remember the time when it was you? Who was making him happy? Who was making him smile? Who he chose?_ Star averted her eyes from the creature in front of her, _Doesn't it hurt?_

"Yes!" she screamed, "Yes it does! It hurts—it _fucking_ hurts! Just _end_ it already—"

 _Tsk, tsk, that's not how you deal with problems now, is it?_ The girl paced around the tiny cell, _Don't you love him?_

" _I—_ I do. More than _anything_."

 _Still?_ She nodded, _Well then, that settles it. No matter what you think, Star, I'm here to help you._

"What do you mean?" she said, more sober and serious this time.

 _He's Jackie's now, isn't he? Well, that simply won't do._

 _We should fix that._

* * *

" _S—_ Star?" he croaked, crawling to her side. She was deathly silent, her empty eyes staring into the void. A small smile was plastered on her face, and there was something disturbing in the way she slouched, her back turning to him.

"Star, are you okay?" he forced a smile. She turned back as if broken from a trance and offered him a wide smile, the kind that made shivers crawl on his spine.

"Of course, Marco," she said his name, endearing as ever, but he couldn't help but fear, even when he knew she would never hurt him.

He tried to tell himself that he did the right thing. His parents' life depended on his choice, and he couldn't let them die. As much as he loves Star, his innocent parents cannot be imprisoned because of him! This was his trouble; he has to take care of it by himself.

But the way she was looking at him made him break.

"I'm sorry!" he cried, heartbroken, "I'm _sorry—I'm_ _so_ _sorry_ ; _please_ , you don't have to forgive me but at least _say something—_ "

"It's okay, Marco," The honey drenched her tone again, and he shuddered. "I understand; you have to do it for your family. I know how hard it is to make that choice, and I don't blame you, Marco." She smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. Other people wouldn't be able to see that, but again, he wasn't some other people.

But he wanted to convince himself that she meant it, if only to ease his guilty conscience.

"Really? You really understand why I had to do it?" he asked, hope filled his voice and she pulled him into a hug.

"Of course," whispered Star against the side of his head, " _Of course_ I understand. And I don't blame you, Marco. I don't blame you."

 _God_ , he needed to hear that.

And it's scary how quick he was to believe her when he wanted to believe, even though he knew it's not true.

What he did was inexcusable.

But for a moment, for just a fragile moment, he wanted to drown himself in the illusion that he did the right thing, and everything's okay. Everything is going to be okay again.

He fell asleep in her arms, still sobbing and spilling with apologies for his broken promise.

Star Butterfly smiled.

* * *

"Wake up, Marco," someone called out for him, and he groggily opened his eyes. It was so _bright_ , why was it so bright?

" _S—Star?_ " he muttered, "Where are we?"

"Home," she smiled, that same one that left her eyes as cold as ever. But he was too distracted by what she said to pay any attention.

"Wait, what?" he bolted upright and rubbed his eyes, trying to see what was happening. There it was; the _sun_ , shining as bright and lovely as he had always remembered it. The air wasn't stale anymore; it was fresh, and he could smell the dirt and trees and—

They were…

On Earth.

On the hill they used to watch a sunset together. Just a few hundred meters from his house.

"But how—"

"I dipped down to break us out of prison," she explained, pulling him up with her right hand, "And since there was a portal open already, all we had to do was walk through it. And before we left, I dismantled the crystals, so it's locked and we're untraceable."

"Dipped down? But why—" He stopped dead in his track when he saw the blood trickling down her forehead, oozing from the markings that were carving their way into her flesh. "Your _head!_ I—"

"Don't worry about it," she smiled yet again, wiping the blood off with her eyes shut painfully this time. "I'm fine. Don't you want to go home?"

" _I—I…_ " He never thought he'd see Echo Creek ever again. "Let's get you to the hospital first—"

"I said I'm _fine_ ," The honey in her voice took a plunge and turned into something stern and icy, and he knew better than to argue. Her face softened at his slightly scared expression, and she patted his hair, "I'll go after you reunite with your family," Another smile lingered at the corner of her lips, and—

She wouldn't _stop_ smiling.

Was she really that happy to get him back home?

Star pulled up the hood of her dirty jacket to cover the blood as they walked home, their ragged appearance attracting attention. But with just a glance from her, no one dared to question them; even the police officer looked the other way when they passed him.

They were standing at his porch again, her fingers curling around his wrist protectively, but not enough to be possessive.

The doorbell rang and his mother's familiar 'Coming!' almost brought him to tears.

"Hey! How can I help y—" Angie dropped the mug she was holding, and the thing shattered on the ground, " _M—Mijo?_ " she whispered shakily, and when he nodded, Star let him go for a few seconds and his mother enveloped him in a crushing and tearful embrace. " _Raphael!_ " she bellowed, tears falling down her face and her voice cracking, but there was the undeniable joy in her voice. His father tumbled down the stairs, and they stared at each other in shocked, pure bliss before the man gathered his family into his arms, crying in relief.

Star stood outside in a hidden corner, alone, but she still couldn't wipe that smile off her face. It seemed a little more genuine now, at least. But she let them have this little moment to each other, despite the voices in her head screaming at her to pull Marco out and take him away, because he was _hers—_

No, _stop_. His happiness comes first. And it's not like he's leaving you; it's his _family_. There's nothing to be afraid of.

"Oh, _mijo_ , Jackie _has_ to know this!" Angie exclaimed, and a shadow passed the Princess's face. She tried to keep a neutral expression, but the hatred was evident in her eyes. "The poor girl had been worried about you for _weeks_ ; she'd be ecstatic when she sees that you're safe!"

"R—Really?" stuttered Marco, "She's still worried about me?"

"Of course!" Raphael laughed, "She's a keeper, son. You're lucky you have a girlfriend like that!"

"Why are you alone?" his mother asked, "Did—Did Star decide to stay in Mewni? After—" she hesitated, the words seemingly escaping her, "After what happened?"

"No! She's—" he turned around and gently pulled her out from the shadows, "She's actually the reason I'm here after everything."

" _She—_ She let you go home?" his father asked, and when he nodded, the man pulled Star in for a hug.

"Thank you, Star," he whispered, "I know how hard it must've been for you. _I—_ I'm sorry."

"It's nothing, Mr. Diaz," Everyone could still hear the smile in her voice, but it was slightly pained, "But can you—let me go?"

Hurt passed his father's face, "Of course," he hastily released the girl, "I get it that you might still be upset at us, and—Wait, is that _blood?_ "

"She's _injured?_ " Angie yelled at her son, " _Mijo_ , why didn't you say anything about this?"

"I, um, she insisted to go home first and—"

"We need to get her to a hospital!" the woman grabbed her wallet, phone and keys, "Raphael, Marco, what are you two _waiting_ for?" she scolded, carefully wrapping one of her arm around Star's shoulders and already walking to her car with the girl in tow.

"Uh, _right!_ Right, I'll just get my things and—"

" _Hurry!_ "

* * *

It's been two days and the rush had died out a little.

The Diazes were more happy than ever, but they were fearful when Marco told them what happened in the weeks they were gone. Of course, he was mindful enough to not mention how she murdered her uncle in cold blood and all the other fights they had, but he didn't mention how he had confessed that one night that he was in love with her either. To them, to the audience, their relationship remains the same; close, but completely platonic.

Star wondered bitterly why he did that.

 _He's making it really hard not to use Option 2,_ The girl in her mind grumbled, _He's yours, why aren't you claiming him?_

"We made a _deal_ , Eris," she told the voice she named, sternly, "We're putting his happiness first. You're helping me, and I'll let you stay, but we're doing things my way."

Eris merely pouted and went back to her corner.

She let out a sigh. This was quite tiring to put up with; having to keep Eris at bay and remember what were her own thoughts and what weren't. But the girl did offer some rather… _interesting_ solutions, and she was confident that it would solve all of Star's problems.

At this point, she was willing to give it a try.

" _Marco!_ " An irritating voice screamed and she immediately frowned, "Marco, oh God, you're okay!"

 _Not that annoying leech again._

"Jackie!" His overjoyed tone replied, and she resisted the urge to roll her eye, "Babe, I'm _so_ sorry for leaving—"

…Really?

Was that all they've shared was? A _mistake?_ Something he regretted? Something in the past that he tries to forget?

Was going after her really something so _terrible_ that it was worth apologizing for?

"It's okay, it's okay—" Jackie breathed in happiness, "You're okay now, and that's all that matters, Marco. I love you— _God_ , I love you so much."

Heh. Like _she_ was the one who loves him the most.

Star twitched in barely restrained anger, her fists clenching and releasing, her entire body shaking, but the smile never once left her face.

Jackie _dared_ to say that? As if love was some childish thing? As if she was ever worthy of saying the _L-word_ to her precious Marco. Was she prepared to die for him? Was she prepared to _kill_ for him?

The Princess's face darkened and she shut the door to her room, trying not to lose control.

 _You see?_ Eris told her, _That irritating girl will never leave your man. He's yours, and a Butterfly protects her own, so why are you letting Jackie take him like he was hers?_

" _Shut up,_ " she gritted her teeth, "I told you, his happiness—"

 _Comes first,_ She rolled her eyes, _I know. But think about it. You've always put him first, and he hadn't even considered how_ you _might feel. You killed for him and you died for him and for what? Just so he could be happy with another girl? We both know you're not that noble, Butterfly._

"I didn't _die_ for him—"

 _Don't lie, Butterfly,_ Eris hissed, _You know how much that wound carved on your fucking forehead hurts, and I do, too. Don't you think I have to feel the pain you're feeling as well? You could've_ killed _yourself, recklessly trying to dip down like that, and you brushed it off like it was nothing. And for what? Just because you love him?_

Laughter and murmured words of devotion echoed from downstairs, making her blood boil before it froze over.

 _He's yours, Star Butterfly. You've done more than enough for him; and he owes you. His love, his life, his soul…It's all yours._

"He's mine," she whispered, the words barely escaping her mouth but a rush of power had already filled her entire being.

 _That's right,_ The girl laughed, _Yours._

" _Mine._ " she repeated, and the realization cleared up the fog in her mind.

"But wait," she froze, "I don't have magic anymore. How am I going to make him love me?"

 _You might be wrong about that, sweetheart,_ Eris cooed, _But sometimes, some good old physical intervention is more than enough._ _And about how to make him love you…_

 _Don't you think he'd turn to you if his girlfriend somehow_ mysteriously _got out of your way?_ The nasty, maniacal grin on her face was enough to know what she meant, and Star's gaze landed on the wooden door. Of course.

 _You know what you have to do._

She stood up and walked over to his room, cracking the wooden door open.

The sword was propped against the wall, glowing a dull green slightly despite the fact that he wasn't in the room. Taking this thing back from Toffee had been easy enough; he didn't expect them to escape the prison that easily.

Her finger touched the blade gently, soft skin brushing on cold metal. The wand gleamed brighter, humming softly as if it was happy to see its lawful owner back.

She hoisted the sword up, and the inky magic running through her veins was so powerful that the door slammed shut, wind picked up and swirled around her floating figure, her eyes blackened and wide, dangerous.

The smile was still plastered on her lips.

The wand started to shift in her grip, rays of dark light wrapping themselves around the broken star, a black, slimy substance covered what was left of the crystal. Her short hair flowed in the air, and every pore on her body seemed to radiate with an aura of pure magic, overflowing with unlimited power.

The lights died out and she was left with a brand new wand in her palm.

A sharp, medium length dagger. Black as the night and cold as steel.

Hmm.

How strangely _fitting_.

* * *

"Hey, Star," Jackie greeted, "How's your head healing? You okay?" Her eyes drifted towards the Princess's tattoo covered body, incredibly curious, but she knew better than to ask. Marco told her it was a private thing after all.

"Yes, yes I am," she replied, but there was no warmth in her voice. "What about you, Jackie? Did anything interesting happen when we were away?"

The girl looked taken aback, "What? No, unless you count being deadly worried for your boyfriend as something interesting," she laughed, but there was something challenging in her eyes. Star could see the way she stressed out the word _boyfriend_ , and it was definitely _bothering_ her, but she didn't show it.

"Fascinating," she offered the girl a smile, the same one drenched in honey and sweetened words, "I am sorry about making you worried, though," she looked away, putting on her guilty mask, "I—I shouldn't have let him follow me. You were worried, and that's my fault." She stared at the ground, "I'm sorry."

Jackie's face softened a little at her display of regret. She laughed, taking Star's hand in her owns, ignoring it when the other girl flinched, "It's okay; I don't blame you," she patted the spot next to her on the couch, "Come on, sit down. You have to tell me more about your adventures; Marco's version lacks a _ridiculously_ large amount of details."

"Really?" she mused, trying her best to keep the bitterness out of her voice. "Well, I'd love to indulge you, but I feel like I have to make it up to you somehow," she lowered her head, "I did make a huge mistake after all."

"You don't have to," Jackie smiled warmly, "It's alright, I understand—"

"Hey, how about this?" she said, allowing some of her signature perkiness to seep in her tone, "You're one of the few friends I have who hadn't been to another dimension. How about I take you to this skatepark? It's on top of an ocean with clear glass and I _swear_ , it's really cool," Her smile was bright and her face was genuine. The other girl hesitated, but skatepark? _Ocean?_ She couldn't resist.

Plus, what reason is there for her to doubt the girl brimming with genuinity in front of her?

"But how are you going to take us there? You don't have those…scissors thing anymore, no?"

"Eh, I grabbed one when we escaped," she winked, and pulled a pair of dimensional scissor out from her pocket. It was a dull gray, completely foreign to her, but it'll serve its purpose perfectly fine.

"Cool," Jackie said, "Let me grab my skateboard real quick."

"Alright," Star smiled, "I'll wait."

 _I'll wait._

* * *

"Hey, before we go," Jackie pulled her arm and she turned around, bandages tight enough to not shuffle around, "I just want to say, thank you."

"Thank me?" she tilted her head, "For what?"

"For taking care of him," Star's face darkened, but she put up the mask so quickly that the other girl didn't notice it. _Thank_ her? As if it was a _favor_ , and she wouldn't have put his safety and happiness above her own life without _Jackie_ being involved in this? She scoffed on the inside.

Jackie gave her a warm, grateful look, "I know it's— _hard_ for you, considering what happened before you guys were trapped in that other dimension, and I just want you to know, I appreciate it, Star. I really do."

"It was the least I could do," she replied, turning away from the girl so she couldn't see her expression. And it was true. It was the least she could do for him, especially when he was her _everything_ , her existence. Keeping him safe was like keeping herself alive; why would she ever take credit for _that?_

"Um, yes," Jackie stuttered, clearly baffled at the sense of duty and absolute devotion in her voice. She kept her mouth shut about it, but there was _something_ bothering her about the Princess.

She didn't seem like the same Star Butterfly she knew. She seemed more cold, distant and somehow ruthless than before she left, with those smiles that sent chills down her back sometimes. The girl probably went through more than her fair share of traumatic experiences, but she could see something purposefully hidden in her, as if this was a side of her she had never seen before.

And those tattoos…Jackie knew it wasn't Star's choice to be completely covered in those, but the cracks and curves and ancient writings made her uneasy. It seemed like something incredibly dark, and she _swore_ it was affecting the used-to-be-bubbly girl somehow. Jackie didn't like it one bit.

The Princess raised her scissors and a portal was ripped open in the fabric of reality. The human girl could never get over it; it was the most mysterious and majestic thing she had ever seen. The vortex swirled like an ethereal whirlpool, dazzling with a sea green color, tiny sparks popping and landing occasionally.

She stared at it for as long as she could before Star cleared her throat.

"Shall we go?" The honeyed smile was back on her face, and Jackie forced herself to reciprocate, dry and strained. Something was wrong with her demeanor, and the way she talked so _formally_ didn't sit well with her.

But before Marco was her boyfriend, Star was her friend; she should at least have some form of trust in the girl, _right?_

…Right.

They stepped through the portal, and it wasn't like anything she expected. She wasn't sure what she was even expecting, to be honest. A little spin, a sense of disorientation? Maybe a little dizziness or a thick membrane like a curtain separating dimensions? Well, in truth, it wasn't that different from walking through a door.

Oh no, the only difference was what was on the other side of the portal.

"Star?" Jackie said fearfully, "Where are we?"

But the Princess ignored her question.

"Marco is mine," she stated simply, as if it was a fact as concrete as the world is round.

Jackie couldn't process what was happening, "… _What?_ "

"I said," she repeated, "Marco. Is. _Mine_."

"What— _What are you doing?_ "

"Oh, don't worry _dear_ ," The smile was back, and it was sickly sweeter than ever, "You're gonna like it here, I'm _sure._ "

* * *

"Jackie?" Marco called out, "Babe? Where are you? I got the tickets for that show you wanted to…see…"

She had told him she'd rather wait here and not drag herself with him to the box office for that comedy show. He had rolled his eyes, kissed her chastely, in the loosest sense of the word, and left the house about half an hour ago.

But no one was in the living room.

"Star?" he tried again, "Are you here?"

No one answered.

Huh. They must be out for ice cream or something. He huffed; at least leave him a note or text him so he wouldn't get worried! They knew how ridiculously protective he got after that… _adventure_ ; he'd go out of his mind with concern if he couldn't find the two most important girls in his life!

Marco pulled out his phone and texted Star. She must knew where his girlfriend is, right? And she must be somewhere around here, since they lost his dimensional scissors already when they faced Toffee…

The painful memories of his decision resurfaced and he clenched his eyes shut, trying to ward off the poisonous thoughts. _Stop it, Diaz,_ he told himself, _Star said she understands; why are you still torturing yourself over that? You did what was right; anyone else would do the same in your situation._

But the look of betrayal on her face, etched with shock, hatred and utter _heartbreak—_

God, it still haunts him at night.

He paced around the living room, patches of carpet bunched up under his impatient footsteps. He flopped down the couch, irritated, only to get up again, feeling even worse than before. Where the _hell_ were they?

 _Ding dong—_

He ran like a madman to the door and slammed it open, only to find his best friend there, a look of genuine surprise on her face as she startled.

"Marco?" Her fingers brushed against his arm in a gesture of comfort and he flinched momentarily. Something was off, but he couldn't wrap his mind around it, and the way she stared at him in dejection made his gut churned guiltily.

" _Are—_ Are you okay? Did I do something wrong?" There it was again, the undying fear in her voice, as if she had somehow made a mistake that could destroy the world they're living in. " _I—_ I'm sorry; I didn't mean to—"

"No, no, it's fine," he sighed, "I'm just a little more on edge than usual."

"Did something happen?" She relaxed and stepped inside the house, a bag of groceries in her arms. Was that there all the time? He could've _sworn_ her hands were empty before…

 _No,_ he shook his head slightly, _She didn't have magic anymore; stop overthinking, Marco._

"Are you sure you're okay?" Concern was evident in her tone, and he dropped the thoughtful expression for her sake, "Yeah," he replied, "I'm alright; don't worry, Princess."

 _Princess._ She visibly froze when the bittersweet nickname escaped his mouth; he hadn't called her that since they were…together, for lack of a better word. Because even though neither of them mentioned anything upon their return, what they had shared was nothing less than a love story.

At least between them, that much was clear. They had been through so much together, loved each other more than anything for a few blessed moments, prepared to _die_ for one another—

He loved her. He really did. And maybe he still loves her.

But what choice did he really have? There was nothing else he could've done, especially when their undefined relationship was pitted against his entire family; all that he had left in his life—

But he was lying and he knew it. For more than just a moment, she was his _everything_ ; the reason he pushed on and survived and didn't _just_ kill himself when he turned blind. She calmed him down, she took care of him, she _cured_ him—

Without her, he would've died a long time ago. Even during that sixteen years stranded in Hekapoo's realm, all that kept him going was the thought of her, of how much he wanted to see her smile again…

He chose his family because he owed them so much.

He chose _Jackie_ because he owed her so much.

God, _what had he done?_

" _I—_ " he choked on his own words, the apology desperately tried to crawl out of his throat but something in him _wouldn't_ _let it—_

"Star, _I—_ "

She held up a hand, and his mouth shut despite everything he wanted to say, "It's okay," she offered him a smile; the same one drenched in honey, "I told you I understand. Don't worry too much about it, Marco,"

He couldn't understand the twinkle in her eyes, but he chose to believe her anyway. She deserved trust, at least.

"Alright," he smiled, but the smile died on his lips when his mind wandered to his girlfriend again, "By the way, do you know where Jackie is?"

She didn't miss a beat, "I don't know; maybe she went home? Last I've seen her I was just heading out," Her hands were busy putting things in cabinets, but her eyes were on him, no avoidance. He knew it was horrible to suspect _her_ out of all people, but…

Better safe than sorry.

"Oh," he muttered, "Why did you go to the store again? I didn't know we ran out of stuff."

" _Marco,_ " she turned over to him, disapproval in her voice, as if she knew what's up, "I was just getting some snacks. You know, the cereal you like? I just thought it's been forever since you had that, and the boxes in the house are expired, so I went out to get some more," She sounded disappointed, and maybe even exasperated, "I'm not going to kidnap your girlfriend, Marco," Star rolled her eyes.

"Right, right," he rubbed the back of his neck. She was just thinking about him; why was he suspecting her again? Ugh, paranoia. Get outta here.

"Sorry, I'll just—" he mumbled, and left the room, his face burning of embarrassment. What was he even _thinking?_

 _Whew, that was close,_ Eris let out a relieved breath, _Damn, you're better at this than I thought, Butterfly._

"It's in my blood," she grinned, "Runs in the family, darling. Plus, Queen training didn't hurt either."

 _Yeah, yeah, we know how good you are,_ The girl rolled her eyes playfully, _So, how are you going to deal with Jackie?_

Star's face crunched up in disgust, "Don't say that name in front of me," she scolded, "You can't even believe how _loud_ she could scream, ugh. No dignity at all; at least try to stay quiet when you're being tortured."

 _Believe me, I can,_ Eris groaned. The Lynn-Thomas girl had a pair of lungs in her, alright. They gained a sweet little reward though; the _interrogation_ techniques the Princess knew left the human a mess of tears, blood and mangled flesh. Plus, that dimension is well-hidden; no one would even think about finding her there.

Star sighed, "She still wouldn't back down. I might have to up the treatment tonight."

 _Just be careful and don't break her yet,_ The girl yawned in boredom, _A broken prisoner is no fun, and you still need her to get what you want, after all._

"Alright, alright," she waved dismissively, "I know what I have to do."

 _Good._

* * *

She woke up in a room with blank stone walls and cold floor. The golden lights trickled down a small vent near the ceiling, and…

Where the _fuck_ was she?

Jackie struggled, only to find out she was still bound to a chair, chains and shackles rubbing her wrists raw. Dried blood clung to her skin, itching, and her body burned all over, setting her nerves on fire.

 _God, everything hurt._

She spat out blood from her mouth, the metallic taste staining her tongue. Eyes darting around relentlessly, she searched for any signs of the Princess.

That _son of a bitch_ ; how _dare_ she—

Jackie took a deep breath. Now's not the time to panic or rage. She tried to look for an escape, but the prison was designed flawlessly; the fact that it's in another dimension didn't help her either.

She tried to wiggle in her bonds, poking around here and there to see if she can get these cuffs off of her. If she could then maybe she could plan an ambush; find some heavy objects around to smack the girl in the head and escape? Surely she would have a chance.

She grimaced. _God_ , these things are hard. The cuts on her entire body were a distraction already; they stung like hell. That knife of hers is brutal; she'd tell you that.

"Tsk, tsk, is that how you should behave?" a voice rang and she snapped her head up, trying not to look like she's escaping. Sure enough, there was the Princess in all her demented glory; plaids of fluffy skirts stained red, eyes wild and merciless, the damned knife glowing in her long, dainty fingers. That cursed smile was plastered on her face as always, but for some reason all the honeyed sweetness had left, leaving nothing but a deranged, maniacal edge behind those perfect, white teeth. She had had half a mind left to change back to the clothes she wore yesterday, maybe for the crazed murderer look or simply just to intimidate Jackie. Hah, fat chance, now that she knew what the Princess was capable of already.

"You don't scare me," she spat, quite literally, and the other girl wiped something off of her face.

"I suggest you stop that if you know what's good for you," she smiled, with an annoyed undertone, almost as if she's trying to be patient, talking to a dog who had done something bad.

"Don't act like you're not an insane _bitch_ , Star Butterfly," Jackie snarled, "I know what you are; and I don't _care_ what you're going to do to me; I'm going back to Marco if it's the _last_ thing I do."

The smile died out on the Princess's face and she frowned. Jackie tried to keep up a brave face; God knows she won't let the other girl have the pleasure of seeing her weak, but she couldn't help the fear slowly slithering into the depths of her soul.

"You are really irritating," Her eyes turned borderline murderous, and the knife rose from her hands threateningly.

The unsettling flash of iron broke her determination.

"No, _no—_ " Jackie thrashed desperately, "No, _please, not again!—_ "

The blade struck down and an earsplitting scream echoed against the stone walls.

Blood splattered the floor. A metallic scent floats in the air and the Princess scrunched up her nose momentarily before the smile returned to her face.

"Now, now, keep quiet; I'll ask again," she tapped her gloved fingers against the fresh wound and Jackie _wailed_ , "Can you behave and never go near my Marco again?"

"— _not yours—_ " the other girl choked out blood, " _He'll never be yours!_ "

Silence.

Then the Princess's delicate laughter started to fill the room.

"I'm sorry but…" she giggled jovially, her nails flirting on the edges of the sharp blade.

"That wasn't a request."

* * *

 _That sure was tiring,_ Eris yawned, _Didn't expect that girl to be so stubborn, huh?_

"You're right," Star sighed, "What a waste of time. I don't even know what Marco saw in her? So _unobedient_. She can't even follow simple orders."

 _That's why you have to get rid of that pest, no?_ She smiled sweetly, _She doesn't deserve him. No one does, because he's yours._

"Mine," she breathed, the word left a satisfied feeling fluttering in her soul, " _All mine._ "

 _Why did you take that?_ Eris stared at the necklace in her hands, her eyes narrowed, _I don't think that's smart, Star._

"What, have you never heard of spoils of war before?" the Princess chuckled, "I'm simply following a family tradition, darling."

"Star? Where are you?" a voice called, and she could feel herself froze.

 _Marco?!_ He wasn't supposed to be at home! Wasn't he with his friends?

Fuck; her _clothes!—_

"Star?" he clicked the door open without knocking, "Where have you…been…"

They met each other's eyes and his gaze slowly shifted down to her blood stained skirt—

"Oh my god— _Are you hurt?_ " His first reaction was to fuss over her. She could feel her heart melt; drowning in the new waves of love and adoration for him. He's still Marco; _her_ Marco; he still cares about her most and loves her more than _anything_ in this world—

Then his hand brushed against the cold metal of the locket.

" _What—_ " he began, but she silenced him with a kiss before he could see the necklace. First his cheeks, then the tip of his nose, and by the time she lifted his chin up with her finger, he had turned crimson red, shocked and abashed at her actions.

But he remained still in her embrace.

His lips met hers, and she practically purred in satisfaction. He was _hers_ ; finally hers now that she had made sure the temptress knew to stay out of her way. She hesitantly ran her tongue against his lower lip, and he yelped, but her hands kept him firmly in place and he opened up without further resistance. She greedily kissed him, exploring every corner of his mouth, and he whimpered under her touch. The sensations were too much, too fast, and his knees buckled. Their tongues danced clumsily, inexperienced but passionately, and when she pulled away, he sighed in absolute bliss.

" _Damn_ ," Marco breathed, his eyes hazy and slightly glazed over, "That was, _uh—_ "

She giggled and pulled him in for another kiss.

He got lost in the way she felt, how soft and warm she was against him. How familiar her touch was, how beautiful and utterly _perfect—_

But then he stopped himself,

" _W—_ Wait, Star. I can't—I love Jackie."

And the words came out so shameful and apologetic that he wasn't even sure why he'd said them.

She froze up.

"You—What did you just say?" Her words were barely above a whisper.

"I'm sorry, but I love—" his eyes caught the glimmer of golden metal in her hands, "—her…" His voice died out and he stared at her, disbelief evident in his face.

She was silent. Silent and… _twitching?_

"What are you holding?"

She smiled sweetly, "Isn't it _obvious_ , Marco?"

…

He couldn't say anything for the longest time.

"Where is she?" he finally spat, his body shaking with barely contained fury. He knew it; he _fucking_ _knew_ it. "What did you do to her?" He shouldn't have _trusted_ her; shouldn't have _loved_ her—

"Why does it matter anymore, _sweetheart?_ She doesn't _deserve_ you." Her fingers touched his face and he jerked from her, "Stay the _fuck_ away from me," he snarled, and she frowned a little. For some reason, she looked horrifying, and no matter how hard he searched, he couldn't find the glimmer of his bubbly, sunny best friend in there anymore.

"Don't be like that," she whined, "You know I love you."

" _No you don't!_ " he backed away from her, but the door to her room shut behind him by itself and locked. _M—Magic?_ But that wasn't possible—

"I just want you to be happy," she took a step forward, her hand reaching out for him, and his back hit the wall.

"My happiness to you didn't mean jack shit!" he cried, "If you cared then you would've left me with her! She loves me and I _want_ to be with her; _why are you doing this?!_ "

" _Love?_ " She cut him off, and the shift in her emotion was evident; her eyes turned cold and she laughed bitterly, "She knew _nothing_ about love. Was she prepared to die for you? Was she prepared to _kill_ for you? No one could love you more than _I_ do, _sweetheart,_ "

She kept approaching him and he was running out of options. He noticed the knife in her hands, that pitch black piece of metal that somehow _glowed_ , and it scared him.

He didn't want to fight her; he really _didn't_ , but if that's the only way…

He yanked her hand and _twisted_. Instead of screaming in pain like he had expected her to do, she simply scrunched her nose as if it was nothing more than a minor discomfort. But the look on her face; _God_ , it'll haunt him for the rest of his life.

"Babe," Her gaze landed on his form sitting on the floor, and he cringed at the nickname Jackie used to call him, "Really, you're making this a lot harder than it has to be."

* * *

Something bumped against his head and he jolted awake.

Disorientation washed over him. Ugh, the splitting headache was bad enough, and now _this?_

A pair of hands pulled his feet and he realized someone was dragging his limp body to God knows where.

He tried to move, turn around or do anything, but his hands were tied and he couldn't crane his neck far enough.

Dizzy. It would be so easy and comfortable to _just…_ close his eyes…

He passed out cold as soon as the doors opened.

* * *

She glanced at the unconscious form of the man she loves, adoration rushing through her veins. He looked so peaceful, so _majestic_ , that she swore she would spend the rest of her life protecting him, do anything in her power to keep this look on his face forever.

He's all that she needs and she's all that he needs.

Just the two of them. Here, in this sealed dimension, where _no one could find them._

Star raised her hand and frowned at the spark of black magic glitching between her fingers. Her magic is back, more powerful than ever, and she couldn't understand why. The use of magic before had come with such a costly price, but now that she had come to terms with it and accept the corruption as a part of her, it's cooperative and it allowed her to use magic whenever she wishes.

She knew what _that_ meant.

 _She_ was the only being capable of wielding black magic in the entire universe.

But that didn't fool her. She knew the price she had to pay.

The old Star Butterfly is dead. She's not that bubbly, energetic girl anymore; she's cold, calculating, _merciless—_

Everything a Queen of Mewni should be.

But if that's the cost of having him by her side like this…She'd take that any day.

She bent down and gently picked him up, holding him in her arms. His head fell, limp against her shoulder and she couldn't help but smile; he was so _adorable_ like this.

She set him down on the soft king-sized bed she created with the wand, pulling the blanket over his slumbering figure and quietly left the room. She trusted him and wanted to respect his privacy even just a little, but precautions were still needed to be taken. As soon as the wooden door closed, she locked it immediately, and slipped the key into the pocket of her dress.

Ugh, she needed a change of clothes.

The sunset outside rained rays of warm light through the glass pane windows, showering the halls of the castle in a gorgeous golden color. This place wasn't that hard to build once she had figured out how the wand worked with her new power, and the sheer power of black magic made it much faster and easier than using her old pink magic, to be honest. The dainty heels of her boots clicked against the marble floor as she made her way to her own room, and picked out a pastel blue dress, as soft as the sky, and threw her blood-stained skirt into a pile along with her other clothes, ready to be burned later. She didn't want any reminder of the time before this; she was determined to see that her life started with the fact that he was _hers_ , finally and for all of eternity.

And in some ways, it did. This was a new timeline, one where she could live with him in peace and love, one where he could _never_ leave her, even if he wanted to—

She laughed to herself. Now that he has hers; why would he ever want to leave? And this place is amazing; she could give him _everything_ he had ever wanted in his entire life, and they could grow old together, maybe even have a child—

She swallowed at the thought. A child with him; that was more than her wildest dreams. A daughter, so beautiful and angelic, with his thick, brown hair and her blue eyes…

A child that would look like him and act like her. A child; the culmination of their love for each other—

It left a giddy feeling thumping in her soul.

A murderous scream broke her happy train of thoughts and she groaned. Not again; had the girl learned _nothing?_ She put on a pair of sneakers and picked up her knife before walking down to the dungeon; well hidden enough that she was confident he would never find the girl imprisoned underneath.

Oh, right. Also remember to make the walls soundproof.

* * *

The next time he woke up, he was in an unfamiliar room.

"What the—" he pulled the sheets off of him and stared at the massive canopy bed he was lying in; this is obviously something Star-related. The decorations of the room reminded him of Mewni, with giant crystals and golden fleur-de-lis plastered on the pastel blue walls. The curtains, however, were a deep red, his favorite color.

Was he back in Mewni for some reason?

No—the dimension is sealed. Which means…

He wasn't dreaming when he saw a murderous Star? What is this— _Where was he?!_

He leaped from the bed and _whoa—_

" _Fuck_ ," he cursed, "I can't see anything, ugh," His body automatically flopped back down to the pillows. Corrections; he could still see things, but he was dizzy as all hell. His head was pounding; what the _fuck_ did he drink last night?

Marco tried a different approach. He sat up for a while and cautiously stood up, victoriously laughed as the disorientation stayed away from him this time. Step by step, he tiptoed to the door and tried to open it, but the lock buckled in protest.

"Damn; what the hell? Why is the door locked?" he wondered out loud, "And where is she?"

Speak of the Devil; there she was. The lock clicked and he tripped on his own feet, trying not to seem like he just searched for a way to escape. The thick wooden door opened and—

God, she was _beautiful_.

Clad in a delicate red dress, she looked more like a goddess than ever. A tray of food was balanced on her hands, and a genuine smile bloomed across her cheeks, but he didn't miss that black knife she strapped onto her side and the tiny speck of blood on her face.

 _What had she done?_

"Hey, Marco," she greeted him with a kiss and he startled, "How was your sleep?"

"Did you _drug_ me?" he shot back, disgusted, jerking himself away from her touch.

"Why, I would _never!_ " Her eyes widened in mock surprise and he could see the unspoken challenge in those icy blue orbs. "What makes you think that, my Prince?"

He _knew_ what would happen if he disobey her…

"Nothing," he grumbled, and she stared at him expectantly. "… _Princess,_ " he reluctantly added, and she beamed.

"There, it wasn't _that_ difficult, was it?" she offered him a smile, "Here, eat up, and after you're done we can do something, okay?" She set the tray down and her lips met his again, wickedly passionate, and it was all he could do not to give in to her demands.

"I love you so, _so much,_ Marco," she whispered to him with a giggle, and left the room.

His knees buckled and he fell down on the bed.

 _Dear God._

What had he gotten himself in?

* * *

"Marco~!"

"No, _no no no no—_ "

A deep, exasperated sigh escaped the Princess, "Honestly Marco, I'm going to catch up to you. You're just wasting your energy."

He frantically looked around. The stone walls were tall, too tall to even consider climbing as an option. There's that tree that's close though; if he was reckless enough he could jump from the tree over the walls—

"Ah, see!" Her cheerful voice derailed his train of thoughts and he jolted, breathing hard, the bark from the tree giving his back splinters; he's leaning against it so hard, "This is the _third_ time you've tried to run away, my Prince." The jovial tone changed into something spine-chilling, her eyebrows scrunched together in irritation, and the coldness in her eyes made him flinch. He could never get used to this version of his best friend; he didn't know this merciless, _cruel girl…_

But maybe that's because she was right. He didn't _know_ her. He'd never known her. What if _this_ was the real Star Butterfly?

"You sure are stubborn," she shook her head, "You know what's the punishment for disobedience, don't you, dear?"

" _No, no no—_ " his voice quivered. Not that; _anything_ but that! He couldn't stand watching the Princess torture his poor Jackie anymore; he'd lose his _sanity—_

She picked up his ankles and dragged him back effortlessly, the shackles on his wrists clanking noisily as he tried to claw the dirt, desperate to run away.

"No, no, _please_ , someone, _help!_ " he cried, " _Help me!_ I'm here; I'm _trapped, please help me!_ "

"Marco…" she sighed, and there was a sickening _crunch_ of broken bones—

A bloodcurdling scream echoed across the courtyard—

He wailed in pain, "I'm sorry, I'm _sorry, I'm sorry—_ " he pleaded, his shaking voice riddled with hiccups.

" _P—Please,_ Star, _I'm—I'm sorry—sorry, I'm so sor—sorry—_ "

She stared down at him with another sigh deep from her lungs.

" _S—Sorry—I'm sorry—_ "

"I'm sorry too, Marco," she picked him up bridal style and carried him back to their room inside the castle, "I didn't want to do that."

"But you had to learn a lesson."

The afternoon was stained by his cries of searing, numbing pain, the sounds of desperate apologies and broken hearts.

But the damage had been done.

* * *

It's a beautiful day outside.

Birds were singing, flowers were blooming.

The sunlight gently trickled through the large glass windows with delicate patterns of decorations, lighting up the throne room covered in golden flowers.

They look alive, but they were dead.

Just like the figure sitting on the enormous throne.

He wore an outfit worthy of a King, with a blood red cape settling comfortably behind him. An elaborated crown embedded with hundreds of glittering jewels adorned his ruffled, soft brown hair. His entire body was decked out in silky red cloths, embroidered with the insignia of the Butterfly Kingdom.

Golden shackles bound his wrists together.

His chained ankles dangled above ground, the high throne didn't even allow his toes to touch the floor.

 _It's not like it mattered anyway,_ he thought bitterly.

"My King!" a voice called, and his expression shifted from emotionless to a mask of fake happiness and joy.

A woman with flowing blonde hair and angelic blue eyes thundered into the throne room, her red heels clicking against the marble. The flowers parted to make way for her, and they covered the ground again as soon as the fluttering train of her royal robes left them.

"Queen Butterfly," he greeted her, "What an honour seeing you here."

"What are you talking about, my love?" she laughed sweetly, "I'm always here with you."

"You're right, your Majesty," Because when was she _not_ right? He bowed his head, his eyes a void of chocolate brown crystals, broken and forlorn. "My apologies."

"No, no," she waved him off, "I'm sorry, love. I've been quite busy with the kingdom lately; I've been neglecting _you_ ," she pouted, "I'll make it up to you. How does a walk sound?"

"Delightful, my Queen," he replied dutifully.

"That settled it," she clapped her hands and guards came into the room. "Fetch me the palanquin."

They disappeared and there it was, a majestic palanquin carried by four men, all powerfully built and in immaculate robes of a deep red colour.

"Get my King on the chair, and be careful with him." she ordered, her voice cold and an aura of murderous authority came off her every syllable. "You harm him in anyway, and you lose not just your life, but your entire family as well."

"Yes, your Majesty."

He rolled his eyes mentally. What a hypocrite.

Whatever they'd do couldn't be worse than what _she've_ done.

They lowered him from the massive throne and gently carried him to the palanquin, mindful of his useless feet.

Resentful bile rose in his throat but he forced it down.

It's _hopeless_ ; why should he even try?

He's _hers_.

Forever hers, even if he tried to escape.

He could never run away.

 _Hers_.


	22. are you happy?

The sunlight woke her up gently through the cracks in her window and she opened her eyes to the sight of her room.

No—

 _Yes._

Well, either way, here she is. Yet another day that he wasn't hers.

Like nothing ever happened. None of that crazy adventures, gruesome murders or confessed, inseparable love.

* * *

He was back to what he was before and she hated it.

She hated the guilty way her heart sang when he unknowingly wrapped her into an affectionate hug. She loathed the way her feelings were back to the starting line, compressed and hidden and bottled up for his sake. She despised how her soul would silently shatter painfully every time he kissed Jackie. She'll admit that it's jealousy now and she hated it, she hated it; _God_ she hated it.

But she loves him. And for him?

Anything _._

She walked downstairs and yawned wide, tired and emotionally spent. Her nose picked up the scent of pancakes and there he was, singing along goofily, laughing and wiggling around to the music. His parents apparently didn't come home last night, and they entrusted him to take care for both of them.

"G'morning, Star," he smiled brightly at her and she forced a painful laugh to hide the sound of her heart breaking.

"As usual? Blueberry is your favorite, right?" he flipped the half-cooked pancake and she smiled genuinely despite herself. He remembered; of _course_ he remembered.

"Star?" he turned around, concern layered in his tone. She had been quiet for a while now, and that wasn't the Star Butterfly he knew _._

She had to keep up the image for his sake and hers.

"Oh? Yeah, I'm fine," she stared at her breakfast, drenched in sweet syrup. Just how she likes it. "What about you, Marco? Aren't you going out with Jackie tonight?"

His face lit up and her stomach dropped. She had _expected_ this when she changed the topic, but she couldn't risk appearing jealous now. She _knew_ he said that he wanted her before they did all this, but again, if she stayed away from him, he would be safe.

He wouldn't have to remember and relive all the horrible, traumatic things he had went through when they were together.

"Yeah. She said that we could go to see a show or something. There's this new stand-up from her favorite comedian that she had wanted to see for ever, but couldn't since all the tickets were sold out in a flash. I managed to get us some and she literally jumped on me, God," he ran his fingers into his bangs, tossed it aside and laughed; a clear, beautiful sound, "She was so _excited_. It's kinda cute, you know."

"Yeah?" she poked at the blueberries with her fork and a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes, "Well, that I do know. Jackie is cool and cute. Like _,_ at the same time. Like, _no one_ could be like that, am I right?" She was probably trying too hard to sell it, but she didn't care.

Not caring had been a big problem to her lately.

"Hey, don't say that," he frowned, and bumped her shoulder playfully, "You're still the coolest girl I know."

Damn him _._ Damn him and his _stupid_ charm and his comforting words _and—_

She felt herself let out a chuckle before she could stop and he relaxed. "Hey _,_ " he looked over at her and she lifted her head from the plate, "You can come with us if you want to. This comedian guy is pretty funny. And you could use some real smiles on that frowny face of yours."

He—He _noticed?_

…Of course he would. Marco Diaz isn't someone she could fool. He's intelligent, he's compassionate, he's caring and most of all—

He loves her.

 _Loved_ her.

She had to remind herself time and time again that he's not _hers_ anymore.

She felt so selfish and dirty sometimes. She put him through all of this, just because she couldn't hold back her fucking feelings. He suffered because of her. He lost his memories for her to regain her magic, he accepted scars for her to be safe, he traded his memories and feelings for her to be able to wield her wand and make everything right again.

She felt shame and the deadly sins crawling on her back every time she looked at his beaming smile for her.

"Afraid I will have to pass this one, _Lord Marco_ ," she waved the piece of pancake on her fork around dramatically, one hand clutching her chest, "I'm not really in the mood for comedy today."

"Oh?" He caught up to her definitely-not-fake playful mood, "Then what would the Princess like to do?" He smirked mischievously.

"W—Wha—Hey! No fair!" She pouted and stuck her tongue at him, "You can't just call me _that_ all of a sudden!"

He was laughing hysterically now, and she laughed, too, delighted at his giddiness today. For a moment, it felt like nothing had changed between them, like they were never lovers, never scared of each other, never ran away from their feelings.

But the precious moment was fleeting and silence settled upon them once more, awkward and stuffing and uncomfortable. She saw him fidgeting with the hem of his new _Kiss the Cook_ apron Jackie bought him when she saw it in the mall, and could practically hear the gears turning in his head. He was trying to save their carefree mood and 'conversation', she knew.

But she could do little more than holding on to that passing minute and pleaded, hoped, _prayed_ , to have it back. All she wanted was to have some good fun by his side.

Was it so hard to go back to what they once were?

…Of course it was. Nothing is the same anymore, and she knew that.

"So," he cleared his throat awkwardly, "More pancakes?"

"No thanks, I'm done," she said sweetly— _too_ sweet—and pushed the chair out. "I'll be in my room; call me if you need anything or if a troll decides to kidnap you or something—" she managed to walk off with a disinterested voice and a half-hearted salute. She could practically feel his confused gaze and the sins crawling on her back.

She had told him before when he cornered her that it's _fine_ , it's cool that he and Jackie are a thing now; if anyone would get her it would be _him_ \- he _deserved_ it. Years and years of pining and caring and affection for her had to turn out into something, right?

She had patted him on the back, told him to not worry about her—she's _okay_ —and left the hallway before he could see the tears falling down her cheeks.

She lied to him. Of course she lied to him.

Star Butterfly was anything but okay.

She could saw the twilight shining through her thick curtains when she woke up again. _God_ , she had been sleeping a lot these days.

Her ears picked up the sound of _Dia de los Muertos_ and the scent of cologne from the bathroom invaded her senses.

"Ah! _Fuck!_ " he cursed loudly, like he was in pain. She resisted the urge to just _slam_ the door open and pick him out of there, carry him back to the safety of his bedroom. But considering the possible consequences, it's _probably_ not a good idea to do that.

But she couldn't just ignore him now; could she?

She could never.

"Marco? Are—Are you okay?" she knocked the sturdy wooden door and he yelped from inside, "I heard you swear pretty loud; you're fine in there?"

"Yeah!" he shouted through the music and the running water, his voice at least an octave higher than usual, "Yeah, I'm fine! I just bumped my head on the counter when I bent down to pick up something; this growth spurt thing is a bit annoying, that's all. I'm okay!" He sounded so uncomfortable she decided to retreat after a mumbled _Be careful, you dork._

She wasn't sure if he could hear that, but who cares? He is a dork.

 _Her_ dork.

"I won't be back early, Star," he told her from the doorsteps. He had on his lucky hoodie tonight and his fancy pair of jeans. _Dressed up for the occasion_ ; she could see. She was perched on the couch, a bowl of nachos in her hand and some dumb sitcom playing on the TV, "Don't wait up for me. I made food for you already; just get more if you're still hungry, okay?"

"I'm not a kid anymore," she stuck her tongue out, plopping another piece of her favorite food in her mouth and he rolled his eyes, "But okay, _Daddy._ "

For half a second nothing passed between them but wide eyed stares and shocked faces.

Then he started choking on his own tongue.

"Star!" he yelled, mortified and coughing, his face red, "You can't just call me Dad— _Daddy_ like that!"

"Why not?" she retorted, "I saw friends calling each other Mom all the time, and you're not exactly suit to be a Mom so I called you Dad. But again, I almost always calls my dad Daddy, so what's wrong with that?" He looked even redder when she repeated the word several times, and she couldn't understand why.

"I'm not talking to you about it now. Or ever." he pulled up his hoodie to hide his overheating face and she was legitimately confused.

"Fine!" she shouted over her shoulder and picked up her cell phone, "I'll just use the _Interweb_ or whatever you call it then! It's not like I need to ask you everything, you know."

He was by her side faster than she could imagine.

"No!" he grabbed the thing from her nimble fingers and held it out of her reach, "You can't go on the Internet to search for _daddy!_ "

" _Why not!?_ " she demanded stubbornly, but he only shook his head and walked away.

"I'm confiscating this," he told her, slipping her compact into his pocket, "And don't you _dare_ magic another one." he warned, his finger wiggling at her scheming face and she pouted.

Busted.

She was turning away when she caught him murmuring under his breath.

" _Jesus Christ,_ Star, you almost killed me…"

She wasn't sure why, but his embarrassing display made a smile blossomed across her face.

Maybe things weren't that different after all.

* * *

Despite his words, she stayed up waiting for him, a little more hopeful than she would admit.

 _Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock._

It was eleven. No way a show could be that long, right? It's been, what, _four_ hours? Could he just come home already?

 _Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock._

…This is driving her mad.

"Jackie, hey! Careful with that—" she heard his breathy laugh and a more feminine giggle, and she immediately bolted upstairs. She didn't need to see this; _nope, not at all._ She reminded herself that it's _okay_ ; Jackie was only making sure that he got home safely or something, then she'll leave. No need to get worked up about it too much.

Except she _didn't_ leave _._

"M—My room? I mean, sure—if you want to we can—" he stuttered under his breath and the girl laughed again. Wait— _are they going to—_

"I—I mean, it's _probably_ not a good idea to— _um…_ do it, now—aren't we a _bit_ too young for this?" _Bless him and his Safe Kid spirit animal._ "I don't really think— _hah_ —that we should be—oh God _please don't stop—_ "

She slammed the door to her room to mask whatever he was about to say next.

She couldn't take it _._ Couldn't swallow it in, couldn't handle it _._

She hadn't cried like that for a while.

The next morning was awkward. She tried to stay in bed for as long as possible after sobbing into her pillow all night. All she wanted was to be left alone with her misery, or at least until the girl left.

But _apparently_ , he had other ideas.

"Star?" he knocked softly on her door like he did _all those timelines ago_ , "Are you okay?"

— _It's not fair._

It's _not fair_ that he got the advantage of not having to hide his feelings. It's _not_ fair that he has that power to make her weak, reducing the strong and stubborn Princess in her to a crying, shaking mess of a girl. It's _not fair_ what he's doing; dropping random tender moments like this that felt nostalgic to the heart and painful, utterly painful to go through this again, without having to acknowledge what he had done to her.

Sometimes she wished that she could just…press a button and reset everything that had ever happened.

" _I_ —I heard you slam the door last night," he confessed, "Are you— _are you—_ "

Happy? _Hell no._ Okay? _Not really._

Dying? _Yes._

But she wiped the tears from her eyes; they're useless anyway, and walked over to him. She opened the door and he blinked at her, surprised. She didn't even bother with reassuring him at this point.

She gently closed the bathroom door and fell to her feet against it. His footsteps outside were small and hesitant.

She was pathetic, wasn't she? On the toilet floor, curled up to herself and crying as quietly as she could.

She knew this would happen—of _course_ it would happen someday. But she had never imagined she would had to be there to _witness_ it. The moment when he finally wasn't hers anymore.

…Does God hate her?

They didn't speak for an entire week.

He had cornered her in the hallways, trying to pry an answer out of her. But she was headstrong and adamant—she's not going to give up that fast or that easily. She had managed to hide for a month now after the whole Toffee fiasco—there was no reason why she couldn't continue hiding.

…Okay, for the record, she knew that hiding and running away from her problem is disastrous, but it's not like there's anything she could do about it. She's lying to herself, to him, to everyone, _yes_ , but she's doing it for his safety and comfort and—

Happiness.

Despite their common denial that nothing had changed between them, their relationship was never the same after that night.

She would avoid him and he would go after her. That was their game; ceaseless hide and seek that would usually end with her tears falling silently in the safety of her room. It was hard at first, but living in the same house didn't give them that much of a choice. She got used to crying without making a single noise.

But she was getting tired of shutting him out.

She missed him. She missed her partner in crime, her lover, her soulmate. She missed the way he would relax and be himself around her, no walls and no masks. Nothing hidden and nothing fake.

Most of all, she missed her best friend.

Yes, she was well aware that she sounded pathetic just now.

But that's all she ever wanted. A life with _him_ in it, with no jealousy and nothing gnawing at her guts. No painstaking words, no tears fallen, no insanity.

Is that too much to ask for?

She tried. She really tried. Tried everything to get her mind off of him.

Ignoring the problem didn't help, as expected _._

Drowning herself in work and Queen training didn't help, although falling asleep as soon as her face hits the pillow did ward off the unwanted dreams about him and her nightmares.

Dating other people was the _worst_ idea she had _ever_ came up with. She didn't know what to do when her date was actually nice to her and sometimes they would politely propose a relationship. She'd turn them down with an apologetic smile and leave them confused, surprised and crushed. Just like how he left her.

She felt guilt. Shame and longing and bittersweet pain.

He ruined everything.

Making her hope, dream, imagine, reminisce, remember.

Making him unattainable, a memory, a thought, a fantasy, a past.

Making them dull, drabber, flatter, plain and never good enough.

He, gone from her embrace.

He ruined everything.

It's been a year and nothing had changed.

He was still her friend. Not _as close as before_ , when they would never keep anything from each other, but still friends _._

 _Just_ friends.

But hey, if she was being honest with herself, she was glad that at least she was still by his side. Helping him with his troubles, his problems, his occasional fights with Jackie. Talking, joking, laughing. Frowning, arguing, crying. Apologizing, hugging, talking again.

It was a cycle. An unbreakable, sacred cycle between them. It was their thing, their secret, their shared habit.

And she was happy with that.

…Who was she kidding?

She had to admit it. Being his friend wasn't quite enough for her anymore.

She longed for his touch, his kiss, his warmth. Something more than purely platonic. Something that makes her knee buckle, her heartbeat rising, her cheeks flushing. Something intimate, something loving, something that they used to share.

She longed for _something_.

She kept having to remind herself her motto these days; _if he's happy then that's enough_. And she meant it; she meant every word of it. All she ever wanted was—

Him. She wanted him.

Her steadily declining mental health and rising bitterness pushed her to the edge. She couldn't handle this right now.

She wanted to please him. _But she wanted him even more._

She wanted to give him everything that he deserves. _But she wanted him even more._

She wanted to stop loving him, to spare him from her misery. _But she wanted him even more._

A part of her loves him. _God,_ she loves him so much. Their love was one that sprung from absolute reliability, careful affectionate gestures and _deep_ , irreplaceable friendship. It wasn't a rushed relationship, wasn't a one-sided hopeless love, wasn't something they both regretted.

A part of her hates him. He ruined her life. Tainted her future husband's well-deserved love, torn apart her sanity, wounded her pride and left her on her knees, sobbing and hurt and bitter. She was hollow, fresh out of love and compassion in her soul. She poured her heart into loving him and even though she got nothing back more than a few days of _priceless_ memories and broken-down déjà vu, she didn't regret a single second of it.

A part of her needs him. He was her light, the only thing that mattered in the darkness. He gave her his hand and pulled her out of the chasm of depression. He gave her joy, laughter, blissful moments. He made her day with his smile. He _used_ to love her. And now, she craved that more than anything else.

A part of her fears him. He could shatter her. He could break her. He could wreck her from the inside and leave nothing but an empty shell behind. She remembered the way he used to control her wand, how absolutely terrifying he had been. He was wild, reckless and _dangerous_. He could break her again.

* * *

Another year passed and he was so _in love_ it was ridiculous.

They were only seventeen, still young and immature and unsure. But he had already talked about _marriage_ and _family_ and _future_. Talked about how amazing _she_ was, how he worshipped _her_ , how he wanted to spend the rest of his life with _her_.

And Star? She wanted to run away. Wanted to _l_ eave everything behind. Start new, live the life she was supposed to live, be the Queen she was supposed to be. Marry someone because she was supposed to marry someone. Have children because she was supposed to. Then die a death that was supposed to be worthy of a Queen. If she was lucky, she would fall in battle or something out of the norm.

She was tired. Physically and emotionally.

She wanted to let go.

She was starting to believe that her efforts were fruitless.

Hopeless.

It was for nothing. He deserves this; he deserves to be happy after she put him through so much shit. He deserves a peaceful life, not one filled with responsibility, stress and danger.

It's happening again; she could tell by the way her heart felt as heavy as lead. She could tell by the way her stomach dropped at the thought of him. She could tell by the way her mind cleared and was actually thinking things through.

She wanted to let go.

* * *

It was his birthday and she'd stopped trying to bring him back.

It was her birthday and she had to go back to where she truly belongs.

It was their final moment together and he was crying in her arms.

She wasn't.

It was her first night alone in the castle after so many years.

She would cry, but her tears had drained a long time ago.

She silently swore to herself she would never cry again.

It was her first visit back to Earth that he planned for their friendiversary but she didn't want to go. Didn't want to remind herself of what she had lost. It's just too painful to show up there and see him with _her_ , laughing, kissing and bashing in the wholesomeness of their happy ever after.

It was one of their _monthly_ mirror calls and he looked so happy to finally see her again she didn't want to tell him about her engagement.

* * *

It was the night before her wedding.

She sat down on the edge of her bed, her legs dangling and her fingers playing with the little wooden doll of him she had managed to snatch out of the Song Day pile of props from what seemed like forever ago.

It all felt bittersweet to her now.

A single tear rolled down her left cheek.

"Are you—sure you want to do this?" her soon-to-be husband asked, his hand resting on her creamy shoulder, "I know you still love him; there's no need for you to do this, Star."

She wiped her eyes, "I'm sure, Tom," Turning back to face him, a rather genuine smile carved its way on her face at the man who cares for her so much, "But thank you, anyway."

"Starship…" Tom muttered, still conflicted. "I don't want you to feel like you have to do this. And I just—" he shook his head slightly, "I just don't _get_ it. You told me about that adventure you and Marco had, and the bond between you…Why didn't you just, you know, _take him back?_ It's not like he'd say no; he must've remembered _something_ too, no?"

"You don't get it, and I don't blame you," she held his hands and said softly, "If I stayed and told him everything, wouldn't that just be burdening him? He wanted to live on Earth, to be a normal human. He's not prepared for all _this_ —royalty duties, the responsibilities, the rules and everything that comes with the privileges. He wasn't raised like us. He wouldn't know how to handle it. Don't you think he would've gone insane?"

"I mean, you're right; this is quite a struggle," he looked away, abashed at her sudden attention, "But he'd have you by his side. Isn't that enough?"

It took her aback. She stared at the demon like it was the first time she'd seen him. Look at this man; she could feel the adoration and love radiating from his warm hands, from the way he looked at her. Tears started brimming on her eyes again, and she blinked it back.

He gave her a sheepish smile and she laughed, tackling him in a hug and sobbing into the crook of his neck.

He smelled like smoke and timber and the sweet scent of slightly burnt marshmallows and somehow that made her love him even more.

"S—Star?" he whimpered, "Did I—make you cry? I'm sorry—"

"Thank you," she murmured, "Thank you _so much_ , but—I can't go back. I—want to stay. With you."

He was startled and deathly still for a moment before making the happiest little noise she had ever heard and they broke into laughter.

She loved Marco. She really did _._

But Tom was the _future_. Tom tried; he changed for her. He's not the angry, uncontrollable boy he used to be anymore. Still broken, but hey, she's here for him now and that's what matters, right?

He's the man whom she will be marrying in eight hours. The man who would wake up next to her every day, the man whom she _knew_ would love her to the end of his days.

And Marco?

Sometimes she really wished that he could still be so much more than just the past.

…But as long as he's happy? As long as Tom's happy?

She didn't regret a single thing.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, we have gathered here today to witness the union between Prince Thomas Lucitor of the Underworld and Princess Star Butterfly of the Butterfly Kingdom…"

For a demon, he looked utterly divine that day.

* * *

Something was off and he could feel it.

He should be happy. He was finally engaged to the love of his life.

He had timed it perfectly so it would be a complete surprise. Her twenty-second birthday, her favorite restaurant, her favorite suit on him…

It had been a great date. Lots of good food, fancy drinks, laughing and joking. A little bit of making out, and the manager actually had to cleared his throat at them twice, but hey, it's not like he cared.

They had decided to walk back to the apartment they shared instead of getting there by his car; they were both quite tipsy and hell if he'd let his girlfriend—his _fiancée_ , God—drive back when it's so dangerous.

She had bumped his shoulder and jokingly asked for a birthday gift. With the way she playfully wiggled her eyebrows, he knew what was coming next and by the looks of it, he might just get lucky tonight…

No, Marco. _Concentrate_.

He had imagined this for more than a decade, fantasizing this _exact_ moment ever since elementary school, but when he'd finally gotten down on one knee and asked her—

"Jackie Lynn Thomas," he swallowed, trying hard to ignore the feeling of his heart anxiously pounding in his chest.

Her eyes had gone as wide as the moon softly illuminating the two of them, standing at the bench where they'd shared their first kiss, "Marco…? Are—Are you—"

A pause as he gathered up what little courage he had left. _Come on_ , Marco, you had an entire _speech_ prepared, for _God's sake!_ _Say something!_

And then, very nervously, he let out, "Will you…marry—"

He didn't get to finish his fantastic proposal.

Suddenly Jackie was on him, hugging him and peppering him with kisses. She eased the mess of butterflies in his stomach with an excited and absolute " _Yes!_ "

It was the happiest moment of Marco's life and he really wished it didn't also feel so…bitter. Somehow.

Everything was so perfect. They're engaged, the wedding would probably happen next month, all of their friends have congratulated them and his parents were so happy for him…

Yet something felt missing. Something in him felt empty, even as Jackie curled up next to him on their bed, half naked and warm and as comforting as ever.

He stared at the ceiling. He couldn't, for the life of him, figure out what it was.

Whatever it was, it was killing him with this unexplainable guilt that comes from nowhere.

Marco sighed. This wasn't going to work, was it?

He left the bed as gently as he could, trying not to wake up his slumbering, beautiful bride-to-be. Looking at her, a spark of sudden love and adoration flared to life, but it was quickly drowned out by the heavy feelings. He groaned, picking up a discarded robe and draped it around himself before making his way to the balcony.

He knew how much Jackie hated whenever he would smoke. She didn't understand where he got it from; no one in his family smokes and it's not like he associated with the cool kids in highschool or MIT either. Heck, he didn't even know when or _why_ he started smoking; it just happened, and it's not like he smokes frequently anyway.

He really was going to quit—he had promised her that, but…

…Maybe not tonight. He still had almost half a pack of cigarettes right here on the wooden table next to him, and the little thing looked so _tempting_.

He went outside and thought of Jackie, of the strange feelings bothering him and how they just didn't make sense.

* * *

Marco lit the cigarette and took a long drag before letting the smoke out. _God_ , he missed this.

He stared at the sky. It was a clear, hot summer night, with stripes of purplish clouds decorating the horizon. The moon was bright, and the landscape was just gorgeous. The stars…

He leaned back on his chair and let his thoughts wander to her for the first time in almost a year.

She just— _disappeared_ from his life. One day they were fine and their friendship blossomed like a rose, and the next…

She kept her distance. Her smiles got a little less bright, her laughs a little more forced, her time locked in her room a little longer, their adventures a little shorter, less frequent…

He had to ask her if she wanted to go somewhere.

Then it had come to the point when she wouldn't even answer him when he knocked on her door.

Things changed between them and they drifted apart. Something he had never even thought possible.

Before she went back to Mewni, they had promised each other to mirror-call every day. Well, he had _made_ her promise him.

For the first few days, she did, and it eased his nerves whenever he would manage to make her laugh.

But…

Days turned to weeks. Weeks turned to months. Months turned to—

Never.

In the span of a few years, he had lost her.

Alright, he'll admit it. It did bother him but he had assumed it was inevitable. She moved on and grew up, she had royal duties to cater to, she's got trainings to complete. And he…

He moved on, too. Went to MIT, graduated with a Bachelor degree at age twenty-two, currently working his way straight up to a doctorate. Settling in, comfortable life, and is about to create his own little family with Jackie.

That simpler time when they were only fifteen really is far away.

A shooting star caught his eyes and he dropped the cigarette. Quickly put it out by stomping on it, he stared at the milky path of the fleeting meteor. It's so beautiful, but it's also—

Short-lived.

"Babe?" someone's sleepy voice called and he turned around. There she was, deadly gorgeous, dressed in nothing but a thrown on shirt of his and rubbing her drowsy eyes, "What're you doing up at this time?"

"I couldn't sleep," he smiled warmly, "You can go back to sleep if you want to, baby."

"Hmm, come with me," she yawned, "I don't wanna go back alone."

"Later, Jackie," he promised, "I just have a lot on my mind at the moment." He turned back towards the sky, closing his eyes for a little while.

"Huh?" she walked up behind him and he could feel her warmth against his back, "Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Nah," he lied, "It's just this project in the company…Boss wanted me to finish it as soon as possible, y'know—"

"Marco," she smiled, "If it's a work thing, you wouldn't be out here in the balcony smoking," she poked his side playfully, but he could still hear the slight tinge of bitterness in her voice, "You'd be locking yourself inside your office, pouring over that desk."

He let out a breathy laugh. Of course she was right; she knew him best, after all.

…Well, maybe not— _the_ best, but…

Marco sighed again. Fuck this, why—

Despite his constant efforts to lie to himself, he would still have to admit that undeniable fact.

Star was the only one who _truly_ understands him.

He had put on a façade for decades, keeping his image as an interesting person worth talking to. That's how he got Jackie in the first place; without Star's help and his mask he would've never been able to tell her how he felt and ask her out. His confidence was real enough, but it took a whole lot of effort to put that up everyday.

No one had noticed the socially awkward Marco Diaz, until he met Star Butterfly and she changed his life.

"Baby? Are you okay?" Jackie asked worriedly, her fingers circling that particular spot on his back that made him keened.

"I'm alright, sweetheart," he smiled reassuringly, but it didn't reach his eyes, "Just have a lot on my mind, that's all. You can go back to sleep by the way; it's way too late for you to be up."

She looked hesitant, but after more insistence from him, she offered him a kiss on the cheeks and told him, "Try not to pull an all nighter, you dork."

He laughed, "Alright, love."

She stepped inside and closed the door as he let out a breath he didn't realize he had been holding.

Marco stumbled over to the chair, a bit drunkenly. He swore there was _something_ in that celebratory whisky they took at the restaurant…

He stared at the stars and drifted into the memories he and Star shared, reminiscing and wishing for things to be just a little different, maybe then they'd finally be happy—

She wouldn't even be at his wedding.

She wasn't here. She wouldn't _be_ here, either.

She's gone.

His muddled mind kept thinking about her, unable to chase down sleep, until it suddenly occurred to him that there was sunlight peeking out at the horizon. The dawn had come, casting everything in warm rays of golden light. Life blossomed in the world beneath him. But for some reason, he was still so—

Hollow. Unsatisfied. Bitter and _angry at himself—_

He shook his head. _That's_ enough _, Marco. You have a wedding to plan and your fiancée waiting inside. It's no time to sulk._

He stood up and dusted himself from the cigarette ash, trying not to smell like smoke.

Whatever.

Marco Diaz walked inside the room and set himself next to Jackie Lynn Thomas's side, wrapping his arms around her soft body and finally let himself forget about the other blonde girl in his life.

A breeze picked up and the wind howled for a second, heartbroken, before it stopped, giving up.

The doors closed.


End file.
